On Staying Strong….

Wow…it’s been one hell of a week for me…or NO…really…One Hell of a month….or…NO…really…one Hell of a Life…..one thing after another, after another, after another…..and so on and so forth and on and on! It never seems like I can get off of this scarey “ride” called “LIFE”. Well, sure there are times when it’s more fun, less scarey. There are the good times and the bad…which are exactly the things I wanted to talk with you about today. Well, I guess I will first tell you an update on my heart surgery from the 19th of February this year, just 5 weeks ago. They treated me awesome in the Toledo University Medical Center! I’m healing well, but I don’t know if you recall that the Plastic surgeon, who was with my Neuro-Cardiologist, was there to put a special anesthesia inside of the surgical cavity where my pectoral muscle also had to be rebuilt that day. The pacemaker that was placed deep inside of that muscle, had worn right through it and had to be rebuilt. Yea…just a “little” painful…especially having RSD/CRPSII “full body”…it was /is very painful. They did a great job of keeping the RSD/CRPS at bay and not letting it get INSIDE of my body. We did not want to have me get the RSD/CRPS INSIDE of my body. So they did well! But as the weeks have been going by and if you’ve had surgery as all, you’ll remember that you usually have absolutely no feeling in the skin around the area that was where the incision is….right? That was or is my experience too! But…I’m afraid that the RSD/CRPS is doing what it does best. It is spread to my surgical skin site and now I have a burning on fire kind of a circle area of my chest that no one can touch and it’s “on fire” all of the time. It’s swollen still or more and it gets hot and reddish pink. Not good…not good…

So…do you want the “good news” or the “bad news” first? …Think about it…don’t rush….OK…You want to hear the bad news first…Well…on Monday, the 18th of March. I went out by myself for a short time, just to get out a bit. It was only my 2nd time out alone after my heart surgery. I went inside of a Panera Bread/Cafe’ and proceeded to sit down with my Ipad and my Iphone and my coffee with scones. I needed another “sugar” and so since I saw only one or two people in the whole place, I thought it’d be “OK” to go and just get a sugar packet. I came back and proceeded to “play” on my gadgets. Then about an hour later, at about 5:00 pm. I called my hubby and told him that I was coming home and “on my way”. Then I received a text message from my bank, which read ” we find unusual activity on your Master card and your debit card, please call this toll free # immediately, if you agree”. So I went to reach for my wallet and it was GONE! I looked everywhere…went back to the same register…retraced my steps….it was no where to be found! I drove home, just across the street, in a panic mode and got my hubby. We went right back to Panera and the Manager had already looked at the video from the counter service and he’d been trough the trash and dumpster! AWWWWW what a nice guy, I must say! That was going above and beyond, but he and they know me very well over there. I spend alot of time on my gadgets there. So anyways…we could not find my big fat lime green wallet. It had some money, about 14 credit cards that I never have even used and I carried them around with me!!! WHY??? I’ll never understand?? Also, I had some irreplaceable, special items that my 2 daughters had made for me when they were just 10 and 12 yrs old. I’m sad that I carried them with me, but I wanted them with me all of the time. That’s something that I can never get back, no matter what. But there is a Police and detectives now on the case and we have some good or uplifting news which I won’t divulge here, just in case my “rip off artist buddy (NOT)” somehow reads my blog…he won’t be any the wiser for how the “case” is going. …and YES….I am prosecuting! You bet I’m prosecuting….I’ve had so many bad things happen to me and then this right after a heart surgery~~~!!!!! NO WAY….This guy messed with the wrong girl!!

I wanted to add a short story to today’s post. I sometimes tell you stories from when I was young and today I have one that matches this incident, so I thought I’d share.
Well I was 11years old. My parents took me with them and my two year older brother to a “Payless She store” to purchase some Confirmation shoes for my brother’s big day!
They were looking at his shoes and I was looking at my size shoes! I was standing in one aisle and they were in another. Suddenly I heard my fathers voice saying to me “Suzanne, come here! Listen to me, I need you yo listen like never before…and come here right now!” I saw two African American men
who had my parents and brother in the back room of the she store! One of those men had a gun to my dads’ head and he yelled at me “GET IN THE BACKROOM….NOW!!! “…
I looked at him….and then I looked at my father and inside of my head, all kinds of ideas were swimming. I said to them “Is this “Candid Camera”?? If I don’t cry, I get a prize?” My father repeated for me to come to him; but in my mind I was looking at them and then I noticed the front door was straight shot and not too far away. I was thinking of running out the door but what about my family? I couldn’t leave them behind!! ( No matter who your family is or how they’ve treated you, there is still a love and a bond. Besides that, it all wasn’t always all bad all of the time!).
I couldn’t run away and the thought of that bad man shooting me as I ran, also went through my head! I went into the back room with them. My mother laid sort of on top of me because I was crying hysterically by this time. The bad men told her to “shut her up!!! Shut that girl up or I will!!” My mother tried covering my mouth as I was sobbing and by now I was vomiting too! There was another family of four back in the room with us, and a few employees too! Everyone was afraid and pretty quiet! But I was so scared and couldn’t even catch my breath because I then heard the bad men say that if they didn’t shut me up, “they” would find a way!! My mom said they were grabbing my elbows as if to try and take me with them! I cannot remember that? It all was so chaotic! Remember, I was only 11years old!!
One of the men grabbed my moms hand and tried taking off her wedding rings. My father grabbed his arm and said “Don’t you take those rings! I gave her those when she was only a teenager!”. My mother was hysterically screaming “Bill…get down!! Bill…Shut up, its only a thing!! Get down … get down!!”. While the man pointed a gun at his head and said in a loud voice Shut the “F” up or I’ll blow your “F”—ing head off!”
The man ripped the wedding rings off of my mother’s finger and she fainted right there in the floor! Ive as smothered and scared and could not breathe we’ll! My dad then turned to care for mom and her finger was purple and swollen! While the men ripped the telephones off of the walls, and said to us all “stay face down on that floor for 30 minutes”!! They were also telling all of us to stop looking at them and to look down!
Finally the store manager had some other kind of phone and he called the police! They came and spoke to all of us, including the store clerks, the manager, the other family of 4 and the four of us!
When they allowed us to leave, my mom was afraid to go straight home, for fear that they’d follow us! We went to her brother, my Uncle’s house; who lived very close .
After that I remember being a child and afraid with lots of tears!! Nobody comforted me, the 11year old girl! They comforted only my mother and she was telling them that it was “all Suz’s fault that they took my wedding rings!” She said that because she had to cover my mouth with her ring-finger hand; the wedding ring’s diamonds sparkled. The robber saw her ring sparkle because I was hysterical and she had to cover my mouth. Therefore they stole her wedding rings because of me!!
I had nightmares and I’m sure I had PTSD, and was in need of help! My parents never believed in that sort of thing! We were a “perfect family ” and as long as we appeared that way to the outside world, then it was so!!
I still remember that day clearly in my head! It all came spilling back when I got robbed this week at a cafe, and a bad man took my wallet with literally my “life ….on paper, plastic & sentimental items!!! I hope the police catch the guy! The cop was so kind to me and he said he was “tired of bad things happening to good people”! He’s trying very hard for us and we are definitely prosecuting!