Life Lessons

Hello Luvs,

I was puttering about the Internet and I came across something on someone’s Facebook page, that was just too much great wisdom, for me to let it go! I just had to share it with everyone in every possible venue that I can.  I have had a really bad time of it, for most of my life. I have been hit, punched, beaten, starved, poisoned, ignored, stalked, divorced, battered, abused by almost everyone in my life who was supposed to love and care for me.  I have had a gun pulled out on me and pointed in my face, and by my own mother! She died of colon cancer in 2002, God rest her soul. She’d told me she was “sorry” before she died, and I forgive her. She’d been through so much in her life, it was not her fault. Though, I guess I’m a stronger person because I had 2 daughters and never once hurt them, starved them or touched a hair on their heads, except for french braiding!  My story is a long one and not for light reading or a queezy stomach!  After all  of the above…Oh and then double that by my father, except the gun part! Then add a bit more from him, and my brothers, my ex husbands.  The ex’s …we won’t even go there this time!

Then…on top of all of the above, I suffered from and was diagnosed with PTSD and CKDII in 1998 and started on disability.  I intended to try and return to my very good job at the University of Michigan, as an Interpreter for the Deaf and a clerical Float III. But one day all of that changed when a man and his wife were arguing in their car while driving down the road.  They ran a red light and my life changed in  a moment!  I went to so many Dr’s that I cannot even remember them all ! I had to go through the auto Insurance “Independant Medical exams  (NOT so Independant, and very mean, horrible “non Dr’s”  who worked for the Ins. company and who couldn’t get a real job in their medical field, so they got a job hurting injured people even more! They were/are despicable human beings!) for about 6 or 7 years and until I couldn’t take it any longer. I gave up life long “help” due to the injustice and horrible treatment by those “IME Dr’s”. I had to fight them with my team of Dr’s behind me every time and I would win every time!  But it just took too much out of me, like they intend it to do; I didn’t give up but I had to stop it or I was going to die!  I also had to endure 3 years of  MTBI or “Mild Traumatic Brain Injury” Rehabilitation at a Center, outpatient.  I no longer posses the abilities to remember anything until I’ve been told at least 4 times! I used to have no need for an address or phone number book, because it was all up there in my head! But my Cerebellum was /is damaged from that car accident and I will never be the same!   I think this is another reason that I identify with this Disney Cartoon, more than any other!  The fish named “Dori” or “Dory”??  She has a TBI or a very bad memory problem and issues!  She does many of the same things that I do and have done since that MVA in 2002! I think I identify with her character, though her problems a bit different than me and the problems that I have.

I’ve been through 10 surgeries, a pacemaker and then 10 yrs later, a replacement surgery for the pacemaker. During that surgery, they found that the first one had worn right through my Pectoral muscle and it had to be rebuilt by a plastic Surgeon!  I suffer also from Dysautonomia, POTS, Neurocardiogenic Syncope, Hypogammaglobulinemia, and much too much to write here in this place, today.  But one more thing I will mention is that I then acquired the most painful chronic pain disease known to people today! It is called “Complex regional Pain Disease” (aka: RSD and CRPS).  It is a burning pain, as if your body is on fire but also feels like you are on ice at the same time! I got it after my foot surgery in 2007, which was 2 years after my heart attack and one year after I suffered a CVA or stroke!

I then “lost” my oldest daughter, my “sunshine girl”. She left home at 18…just 18 years. We will not “go there” as to what happened because I respect her .  Its been 9 years and she has since gotten married and now I have a beautiful granddaughter, whom I’ve never gotten to meet (yet); nor did I get to go to her wedding. I raised her sister  and her mostly by myself after their father left me for an 18 yr old bar waitress after 8 years of marriage.

OK…so it’s not been too easy for me, right?? But I look at the world in a different way than most. I can be sad and in pain and do nothing !  I can just sit and cry and be depressed all of the time….OR I can try to help others and be as loving and kind as possible to be the opposite of all those people who wanted to destroy my spirit and who still get pleasure from my pain!

If you just live by the ideas from a Disney movie…life can be so much better! Yes, it’s true! I have a soul-mate and BFF husband now for the past 16 years.  Both of my daughters are very intelligent. My older daughter will love me again, because I’ve never stopped loving her…I just know it has to be true.  I love these words that I found online, as they are words to live by and they are stemmed from the theme of the Disney movie “Finding Nemo”…I hope you enjoy these Life Lessons from the movie:

1. Listen to your parents; they just want to keep you safe.

We can all agree that Marlin walks a fine line between doting Dad and overbearing growth-stunting everything-is-out-to-get-us-crawl-under-this-rock Dad. But he has his reasons, including why he didn’t want Nemo to swim to the boat. There’s a reason why parents tell kids to do things that they don’t want to do — i.e. holding hands in the parking lot (“I CAN WALK BY MYSELF!”) — and Finding Nemo is a nice reminder that, yes, parents can be total pains in the rear. But they’re just trying to keep you safe and healthy — so listen. You don’t want the equivalent of a giant boat taking you across the ocean.

2. Accept help.

There’s no way Marlin could have made it to 42 Wallaby Lane without the help of strangers — even the most unlikely strangers. We can’t do everything on our own.

3. Step outside your comfort zone.

It’s easy to live inside a little bubble (or anemone), but Marlin learned more about himself, as a father, during his epic journey into everything that scares him. Even traveling on the EAC, which would have totally caused a panic attack pre-Operation Find Nemo, ended up being enlightening and fun.

4. Greediness = annoying.

Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine.” Just repeat that bird squawking to your kids every time they grab a toy and yell “MINE.”

5. The importance of teamwork.

From Marlin + Dory to Nemo + the dentist office crew, teamwork is more effective than a solo mission. There’s a lot of cooperation and collaboration in Finding Nemo, which is an important lesson.

6. The importance of friendship.

One of my favorite lines is at the end of the movie, when Marlin is sad and defeated, heading back home without Nemo. Dory wants him to stay and says, “I remember things better with you…It’s there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. And — and I look at you, and I…and I’m home.”

Friendship can come from the most unexpected places.

7. Be kind to animals.

Lest you end up like Darla. (DUN, DUN, DUN.)

8. Your differences don’t define you.

One of my favorite details about Finding Nemo is the subtle physical differences (Nemo’s little “lucky” fin, Gill’s scarred body, Sheldon’s H20 intolerance, Pearl’s short tentacle, etc.) and mental challenges (Dory’s short-term memory loss, Bruce’s food addiction, Gurgle’s germaphobia, etc.). But all of these characters are so likable that their little quirks are endearing and normalized.

9. Your parents will never give up on you.

Like, ever.

10. Just keep swimming…

I’ve found that singing Dory’s signature song can get you through just about any rough patch. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. Sound advice.*

***finding-nemo_zps17a7ca08I found this at: ” 10 lIfe Lessons from “Finding Nemo”: at