Forest Is One Tree That Will Not Fall Without Being Heard!


Hello Luvs,

I just wanted to get something up today that would let many more people know & learn about Dr. Forest Tennant. I want everyone to know what is happening to this good man; this awesome wonderful doctor and friend of mine. I’m working on my own blog post but I wanted this up so that you could learn quickly and start helping. I want you to learn about Dr. Tennant and what he does for people. He helps the sickest of the sick. He helps people that other doctors don’t want to be bothered with; they just want to throw them away! Dr. Tennant is a good man and he doesn’t deserve what is happening to him. What’s happening now, is like what we think might happen in some Third World country!! Our country is changing for the worse! This isn’t the USA I ever remember and loved! What’s happening is fear mongering, craziness, bullying, and who knows what else?

Dr. Jeffrey Fudin, is a very close friend of Dr. Forest Tennant. I asked him if I could re-post this story from his blog today. He gave me permission to do so. I need to make sure you know that I did not write this piece. It is totally all Dr. Fudin’s writing & work here today except for this introduction. Please visit his blog @Paindr.com :

**(Copied with permission from Dr Jeffry Fudin, B.S., Pharm.D., FCCP, FASHP)

Diplomate, American Academy of Pain Management

#DropTheTennantCase

Forest is one tree that will not fall without being heard:

I was shocked to learn of the Gestapo tactics the DEA organized in the attack against Dr. Forest Tennant.  What kind of world do we live in? I am not at all surprised however to see the outrage amongst my peers to rise up in support of Dr. Tennant’s well-mannered and careful dedication to his patients. When asked an open-ended question by a prominent professional group regarding this mockery, my first response was, “Perhaps the DEA did the world a favor – this time they screwed with the wrong person and their bungling actions will reverberate pervasively.” I suspect almost every leading pain clinician scholar will line up to offer expert witness services in support of Dr. Tennant should the DEA contemptuous actions against Dr. Tennant ever make it to court.

If anybody Tweets, posts, or shares any comment on social media, please include this hashtag, #DropTheTennantCase.

In the last few hours we already see two posts, The DEA Raids the Offices of My Friend and Colleague, Dr. Tennant and DEA Raids Dr. Forest Tennant’s Pain Clinic. Keep them coming and be sure to add #DropTheTennantCase.

Dr. Morty Fein was kind enough to provide some backdrop and clever insight to the alternative news associated with the DEA raid on Dr. Tennant and the patients the patients and community that will be harmed as a result.

Here’s what he had to say in his piece entitled,

The Fifth Vital ….Sigh

When there is regime change there is often a purge of anything and everything associated with the prior (often disgraced) movement and its rulers. History gets rewritten and we move on to a new and improved world. In pain politics, the opiophiles have been replaced by the opiophobes in power and every remnant of prior rule, every concept and tenet ends up getting dragged through the mud and discarded. Sigh.

Witness what has happened to the notion of pseudoaddiction. It has been ridiculed without a critical look at its continued importance. Because an executive from a company accused (often correctly but just as often overzealously) of overzealous marketing of opioids wrote an “n of 1 paper” based on a sincere and accurate appraisal of a troubling observation during his early years of pain practice – many years before he left practice and became an executive – the notion has been tied to overpromotion of opioids in the media and by opiophobes. Never mind the fact that the notion is even more important now since the stingy approach to opioid availability is daily leading to even worse pain control for millions and in turn causing desperation. And desperation can lead to people acting in ways that are uncharacteristic of them and their behavior construed as a sign of addiction. Happens every day. Often. Several authors, including the original authors, have over the years written about the need to re-evaluate the concept; not the validity of the observation but in what clinicians need to do to safely respond to it. The answer is not the knee jerk raising of opioid doses that became a bit of a caricature during the early days of the opiophile revolution, but a reappraisal of the totality of the patient’s pain regimen and approach and a sincere respect for the fact that a person taking liberties with their opioids or augmenting with anything including street drugs can indeed trigger a behavioral loss of control that needs to be addressed and not solely relying on improved analgesia to stop the behavior. Loss of control and uncontrolled pain are not mutually exclusive. Regardless of what drives the drug taking behavior and loss of control, abuse and even overdose can result. Perhaps this is why lowering MSEs nationally is not decreasing the number of opioid overdoses and in fact they are increasing them. The notion is self-effacing for us HCPs – that it is our failure to control pain that can drive the desperation and we have the responsibility to help fix it and the behavioral syndrome accompanying it – if anyone has the time and reimbursement anymore in our healthcare system for this much soul-searching and critical thought. Sigh.

And of course, the pain as the 5th vital sign movement has also been ridiculed as a simple ploy by pharma to lead to more pain assessment solely because it would lead to the more opioid prescribing not to simply bring pain and suffering out of the shadows and raise awareness. Outrageous and laughable contend the opiophobes. That people suffer in silence, that they are afraid to tell their health care providers, that unless they are asked they will often assume that discussion of their pain is not the purview of the providers with whom they are interacting is a trite every day observation doesn’t prevent throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Pain as a 5th vital sign is a movement about communication not treatment. Let us not go back to the bad old days of don’t ask don’t tell about pain and suffering. Want to change the name of it? Fine. But we shouldn’t stop efforts to ask about our patients’ experiences of suffering. We should avoid knee jerk reactions driving what we are going to do about it. Simply because someone reports their pain as “8 out of 10” doesn’t mean we should knee jerk raise their opioid dose nor should we knee jerk increase the frequency of their meditation sessions. It requires time and thought and a self-effacing attitude that we can do better for the person and a commitment to do better for the person. If anyone has the time and reimbursement anymore in our healthcare system for this much soul-searching and critical thought. Sigh.

And while we are on the subject of regime change, some of the most expert, most ethical and most erudite former leaders in the opioid movement are being dragged through the mud and the legal system on virtually a daily basis nationwide, tormented by district attorneys and ambulance chasers who would beg any one of them to care for them or their family members if they were stricken with severe and unrelenting chronic pain. Virtually everything they ever wrote, said or did being misportayed and  misrepresented as they get held responsible for consequences of treatments that occurred in jurisdictions they never set foot in. As if writing or talking or doing everything they could for opioid safety was just a ploy for pharma to push more drugs. No, it was a move to try to help others if they were going to do opioid therapy to adopt a seriousness and responsibility and acquire expertise like their own. They may have overestimated the integrity of their peers that went on to run pill mills but they never advocated for pill mills. They may have underestimated the size of the gap between their own expertise and that of their brethren that would try to emulate them. But they never advocated for carelessness or lack of responsibility. They wanted us all to take a self-effacing (i.e. that we all need to learn more about pain) and responsible and thoughtful approach. As if anyone has the time and reimbursement anymore in our healthcare system for this much soul-searching and critical thought. Sigh.

This brings me to the raiding of the home and practice of the beloved and venerated Dr. Forest Tennant. His Thanksgiving gift was a storm trooper’s boot in his door – by a cop who has a better sense of what the doctor’s patients need than the doctor (with 50 years plus of experience) does. And who I am certain would beg Dr. Tennant to care for him and his family if they were stricken with unrelenting chronic pain.  Dr. Tennant called them and their scare tactics out in an interview right after the events and he intends to fight. Be Brave! Don’t run Forest, don’t run!

Free the Opioid 5 I say.

It is time to stand and fight. Regime change and the re-writing of history must stop now. Our support for these 5 is vital. Sigh.

This is taken with permission, from the Blog of Dr. Jeffry Fudin @paindr.com and here’s the link: http://paindr.com/forest-is-one-tree-that-will-not-fall-without-being-heard/

Here’s some information about Dr Fudin. This information was taken directly from his own website/Blog , also at paindr.com…. I didn’t want to get anything wrong and so this too, is directly copied from his Blog. All rights are reserved by him and everything here today is all his work and his writing and not mine! Please read about Dr Fudin:

Jeffrey Fudin, B.S., Pharm.D., FCCP, FASHP

Diplomate, American Academy of Pain Management

Founder & Chair, PROMPT (Professionals for Rational Opioid Monitoring & Pharmacotherapy)

Owner & Managing Editor, PainDr.com

Director, Scientific and Clinical Affairs, REMITIGATE, LLC in Delmar NY

Director PGY2 Pain Residency Stratton VA Medical Center in Albany NY

Adjunct Associate Professor, Western New England University College of Pharmacy

Adjunct Assistant Professor of Pharmacy Practice, University of Connecticut School of Pharmacy

Section Editor, Pain Medicine

Dr. Fudin graduated from Albany College of Pharmacy & Health Sciences with his Bachelors Degree and Pharm.D. He completed an Oncology/Hematology fellowship at SUNY/Upstate Medical Center.  He is a Diplomate to the American Academy of Pain Management and a Fellow of both the American College of Clinical Pharmacy and the American Society of Health-system Pharmacists.

Dr. Fudin is a Section Editor for Pain Medicine, Founder/Chairman of Professionals for Rational Opioid Monitoring & Pharmacotherapy, and peer reviewer for several professional journals.   He has participated in developing practice guidelines for use of opioids in chronic noncancer pain (APS, AAPM collaborative) and participated in national and international guideline development for arthritis, fibromyalgia, and palliative Care. He has also participated in the development and co-author guidelines for the treatment of opioid-induced constipation. He is consultant to a national panel to develop consensus guidelines for the proper use of urine testing in addiction medicine, a collaborative effort with the National Association of Addiction Treatment Providers (NAATP), Center for Lawful Access and Abuse Deterrence (CLAAD), and the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM). And he is a panel member for new urine test guidelines under development by the American Academy of Pain Medicine.

Dr. Fudin is President and Director for Scientific and Clinical Affairs for REMITIGATE, LLC, a software development company specializing in opioid safety. He practices as a Clinical Pharmacy Specialist and Director, PGY-2 Pharmacy Pain Residency Programs at the Stratton Veterans Administration Medical Center in Albany NY.  He holds adjunct faculty positions at University of Connecticut School of Pharmacy, Western New England University College of Pharmacy in Springfield MA, and Albany College of Pharmacy & Health Sciences.  Dr. Fudin has been an invited speaker on pain management nationally and internationally.

Dr. Fudin is founder and Chair of Professionals for Rational Opioid Monitoring and Pharmacotherapy (PROMPT), owner and managing editor for paindr.com and founder of Remitigate LLC, a software development company that has launched an application to help clinicians interpret urine drugs screens with several pipeline products including a pharmacogenetic applications and other opioid safety software initiatives.  He is a prolific lecturer, writer, and researcher on pain management topics and he served as a Task Force member for the Board of Pharmacy Specialties (BPS) for role delineation study/practice analysis of pain and palliative care pharmacy. He was awarded the American Academy of Pain Medicine’s Presidential Commendation in 2014, in recognition as “a voice for scientific integrity and an advocate for people in pain.”

Run Forest, Run!


This was written by Dr Mark Ibsen, MD, who has become a close friend of mine; as has Dr Tennant. My thoughts and blog post on this subject will be forthcoming ASAP! But for now, just for this moment, here are Dr Ibsen, MD’s words regarding this abhorrent situation with Dr Forrest Tennant:

Dr Tennant recently came to Montana to testify for Dr Christensen. Sadly, while in the home state of many of his intractable pain refugee patients,

His home was invaded and business ransacked by agents who allege he was “overprescribing”. 

Just what IS overprescribing?

And what would Underprescribing look like?

This term would imply that there is a ceiling dose of a medication that has been prescribed. 

It would also imply that there is a “Goldilocks Dose” that is not too high

Not too low, but “just right”. 

Dr Tennant,

An endocrinologist,

Has been on the forefront of research and therapy for the intractable pain that patients developed after years of medical or interventional management, or mismanagement. 

These are patients with adhesive arachnoiditis, complex regional pain syndrome, trigeminal neuralgia, failed back syndrome, traumatic brain injury, and various other accidental and iatrogenic pain syndromes. 

The law enforcement and regulatory agencies Who are threatened by the Obi-Wan Kenobi of pain medicine do not have the sophistication,

compassion,

Or training to realize that they are not dealing with El Chapo. Drug dealers don’t actually care how their clients are doing. In fact, when a drug addict dies of an overdose, sales most often go up. Dealing drugs that are unregulated and often fatal is not what doctors do. 

Most people who suffer cardiac arrest have some type of medication on board. We don’t arrest their doctor for prescribing a Statin or aspirin or blood pressure medication in an attempt to enhance or prolong a persons life. 

People have hypoglycemic reactions every day,treated for their diabetes. We do not arrest their doctor for “overprescribing insulin”.

All doctors are required by their oath to do no harm-to try to hit that “Goldilocks dose”

When cancer patients die,

Do we blame there oncologist for killing them?

There’s a reason medical doctors train for 12 to 20 years, then continue to study and research the literature their entire careers. Could it really be true that Dr. Tennant is sidelined by a DEA agent with 12 weeks of training?

Are doctors no longer protected by the regulations outlined in the Controlled Substances Act?

Dr. Tennant treats the sickest of intractable pain patients. I too have referred intractable pain patients to him, I have taken his courses and follow his protocols.

Now, who will testify for me and protect my patients?

According to the World Health Organization North America provides the best pain care management on the planet. Dr. Tennant has always recommended following the world health organization pain ladder. 

Doctors like forest Tennant, William Hurwitz MD, Ronald Myers, and Chris Christiansen are simply guilty of trying to relieve the suffering of their intractable pain patients. 

This often requires us to

“Increase the dose”

If we as a culture continue to punish pain patients and the doctors that serve them no one will be safe accessing the incredible medical system we have developed in the US. 

Yes, complications occur. 

Yes, people are dying. 

From heroin/ fentanyl injection ODs,

Not

From responsible informed and well researched treatment of those in intractable pain who have failed every other therapy available.

“Run, Forest, run!”

Pain Wars


September is Pain Awareness Month – and people should be aware of what chronic pain patients go through.

To read the media, you’d think we are pill-popping complainers. We aren’t addicts, and it’s definitely not all in our head. We are real people living every day with high chronic pain illnesses. We do whatever is requested; whether it be to urinate in a cup, give blood or jump through any and all of the other hoops asked of us, we just do it. The National Survey on Drug Use and Health, has done studies that say “75% of all opioid misuse starts with people using medication that wasn’t prescribed for them” but obtained from a friend, family member or dealer”. ? As Maia Szalavitz wrote in the Scientific American, “Do you know that new addictions are uncommon among people who take opioids for pain in general All of this means that steps to limit prescribing opioids for chronic pain run a great risk of harming pain patients without doing much to stop addiction.”

We have seen our lives change in the last couple of years – and not for the better. There are things that are happening around us that we feel no control over. Our feelings are correct.

The people who use opioids are under attack and the lead attack dog is Dr. Andrew Kolodny. I read an article where he says that Tylenol essentially works to combat pain as well as prescription pain meds.

“And medications that can be just as effective as, or even more effective than opioids are Tylenol and Advil”. He says that these two OTC medications “work differently, so it’s safe to take them together.” He also states in this same article that “They really are safer than opioids, and we sometimes forget how helpful they can be”. In another article, “Kolodny states “many Americans are truly convinced that Opioids are helping them”. They can’t get out of bed without them”.

One would surmise, after reading several of these articles, that Kolodny thinks that we as pain patients should just accept the pain as if it is just a nuisance. If it were as easy as taking a Tylenol, (which on the bottle it actually states that it’s for “minor aches and pains”); there’d be no rising suicide rates within the pain community.

In 2015, the New England Journal of Medicine published a commentary in which two physicians, Dr. Jane Ballentyne and Dr. Mark D. Sullivan argued their position on chronic pain and acceptance. Our own National Pain Report published an article on November 29, 2015, “Accepting Pain More Important Than Reducing Pain Intensity Because Opioids Are Harmful, Docs Write in NEJM Commentary”. The first line of the article is “People suffering in chronic pain need to learn to accept it because achieving a balance between the benefits and potential harms of opioids has become a matter of national importance. Dr. Bellantyne, the president of PROP (Physicians for Responsible Opioid Prescribing), says that “patients should pursue coping and acceptance strategies that primarily reduce the suffering associated with pain and only secondarily reduce pain intensity. Dr.’s Bellantyne & Sullivan (Dr. Sullivan is the Executive Director of Collaborative Opioid Prescribing Education (COPE), stated that the patients who report the greatest intensity of chronic pain are often overwhelmed, are burdened by coexisting substance use or other mental health conditions. Instead of opioids, these doctors say that an interdisciplinary and multimodal treatment coupled with coping and acceptance strategies are critical. In addition, they conclude that a willingness to accept pain and engagement in life activities despite pain, may reduce suffering and disability without necessarily reducing pain intensity. The two Dr’s also said that “patients should not focus on reducing the intensity of their pain, but their emotional reactions to it” (NEJM 2015 Commentary). I’m thinking that maybe all of those who, in my opinion, feel that we just need to accept and cope better, need to take a “pain challenge”.

Maybe they should volunteer to be part of an experiment where they somehow feel the pain that many of us feel and they don’t know the time frame for how long they will feel that way? I’m not sure they would feel the same way afterwards, are you?

Kolodny and his minions appear to feel that pain patients and drug addicts are not two distinct groups. He says “the opioid crisis is about addiction, and the reason that overdose deaths are at historically high levels and the death rate for middle-aged white Americans is going up, is due in large part to the epidemic of opioid addiction with overdose deaths occurring most commonly in people with legitimate prescriptions.”

Dr. Kolodny this is wrong! The problem is actually illicit, NOT MEDICAL, drug use. A Cochrane review of opioid prescribing for chronic pain found that less than one percent of those who were well-screened for drug problems developed new addictions during pain care. A more recent review put the rate of addiction among people taking opioids for chronic pain at 8-12 percent. What this truly means to us is that all of these limits on opioid prescribing for chronic pain patients puts us, the pain patients, at great risk of harm. But guess what? It is not going to do much to stop addiction!

We, the chronic pain community not only have to live with physical agony but with this “Opioid Crisis”. The true crisis is that the chronic pain community is losing access to reduction of their pain. This is affecting the patients’ work, if they in fact are still able to work. It is also affecting our families, relationships and at its worst, our sanity! The American Academy of Pain Medicine says that there is a “civil war” going on in the pain community. Their president, Dr. Daniel B. Carr, says that “One group believes the primary goal of pain treatment is curtailing opioid prescribing. The other group looks at the disability, the human suffering, the expense of chronic pain”. We must continue to stand up and keep fighting for what we need. Andrew Kolodny says that “in the end, chronic pain patients need more and more opioid medications in order to curtail the pain”. But there are an abundance of pain patients who never increase their dosage of opioid medications throughout many years.

As pain patients, we simply must fight back. The people at PROP have grabbed the initiative and turned concerns about opioid addictions into an attack on millions of chronic pain patients.

It must be pointed that people who own drug treatment facilities are benefiting from Dr. Kolodny’s efforts at demonizing the pain patient.

In the meantime, state agencies, federal bureaucracies and others simply stay silent on what will happen to pain patients if opioids go away.

We cannot allow that to happen!

 **The views and research in this article are solely my own and may not necessarily be the views of the U.S. Pain Foundation. 

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Strangers Among Us


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Hello Luvs,

I am writing today about a topic that I had hoped to never write about. But it has come to my attention and the attention of several support group leaders on Facebook; that there are imposters trying to infiltrate our support groups.  This is a sad story and one that should never happen.  Anyone who runs a support group for any illnesses, including and especially the chronic pain illnesses, needs to be aware of this situation.

I opened up Facebook a week or so ago, only to feel relieved in a way, that none of my support groups were affected by this “fake” person who pretended to have RSD/CRPS. This intruder into the CRPS community had befriended over 600 people on Facebook in over a period of just about 3 years.  She started her own support group and then the worst happened.  She gained  the trust of many people who are suffering with the horrible chronic nerve pain of CRPS.  She pretended to have the disease and pretended to have “cured herself”. This is unforgivable and preposterous to say the least.  I had no idea about any of this until last week when all of the news broke.  Her account was found out about and she disappeared.

She disappeared but not before taking with her dozens of trusted CRPS patients photos and videos.  She asked them to make videos and send them to her and photos as well. She wanted these videos to be showing how they “worked through their pain and pushed through it”.  She told several people in her support group that on the delicate and sensitive flaring areas of Skin that has been diagnosed with CRPS/RSD; they should rub sandpaper! She wanted photos and videos of them doing this.  Also, just to inform you that this practice is horribly wrong and could cause terrible pain, progression of illness and even worse, infections.  She told a person to “pull on their RSD/CRPS riddled fingers until the pain was excruciating” and told them that this would “help them cure their RSD/CRPS”.

This “fake” was a well known figure in the RSD/CRPS community for these past few years.  She had some telltale signs that I notice right away and thus the reason I vet my support groups very carefully.  She had no real photos on her Facebook page and no family pictures or friends.  Nothing “personal” stood out, from what I hear, on her page.  She never showed herself in a video or a Facebook chat or video either.  If anyone has ever watched the Television show called “Catfish”, that is one of the biggest clues to being a “fake” or a “Catfish” account. When you befriend someone on Facebook please be sure to check out their profile. Also, it doesn’t matter if they are friends with some of your friends, it can still be fake.  Look for the signs of “realness” and of being a true person online. Look for achievements, and milestones, family and other photos (as I stated above) and don’t befriend anyone that you don’t feel comfortable with.

Please understand that most of the support groups are wonderful on Facebook. They are run by loving and caring patients living in pain also.  Feel free to check out the group admins. pages also.  Look them up and see who they are and if they are shown as having a true Facebook account as well. Feel free to ask questions before you join a group, to see what the person believes about your illness(es).  Check to see  if you believe in the same ideas, or not?  The people living in the pain community have seemed to me to be so caring and always wanting to help a fellow sufferer.  I think this is where the story gets so dark, because this “fake” person tried to gain the trust of people who are kind and caring and suffering.  We are all trying to make sense of these illnesses and the pain that they bring, how could anyone “pretend” to have something and then hurt people who’s trust they’d been given freely?

These are questions that I cannot answer nor fathom.  This “fake” person was finally exposed and the authorities were called.  There’s not much else anyone can do because she/he or they, closed down their Facebook account, their support group and took all of the photos and videos with them. Wherever they’ve run off too, we will never know.  We don’t know if that person will show up again and now people will be afraid and looking around every corner for someone like this; wondering who to trust now?  But if you are requested to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing, don’t do it.  Unless you know someone online and have done a face chat video with them, or met them “in person”; don’t give away anything personal in the form of information, videos or photos. But please don’t give up on the support groups because there are many that are loving, kind and very helpful.  I am so thankful that this person did not make it into my support groups.  I remember the name and remember “her” asking to be in my groups and I felt hat something wasn’t quite right.  I declined her entry into my groups. I declined her friend request. I am just lucky in that respect, because many of my dear friends who are very careful; were still affected by this imposter into our RSD/CRPS community.

I’m concerned for the people who were hurt in my communities. This person was relentless in her “pushing” people to do things that were painful in order to give them false hope of a “cure”.  She said that she herself had been cured and that all of the things she told them to do, she had done and this is how she got well.  We all want hope and so these people were desperate for some kind of relief. With our pain medications being taken away weekly and more people being denied appropriate pain relief; I can see how this can happen.  But just be very careful and don’t give up on the support groups but be selective in your choices.

The CRPS communities are left now with a bigger wound to heal.  They feel vulnerable and duped. People are trying to wrap their heads around the idea that their photos and videos are out there somewhere and they don’t know where? Please know that if you were a part of this scam, it is not your fault.  The imposter was very “good” at what she was trying to achieve. She was sly and deceitful in her endeavors to trick a community of pain sufferers.  Please be assured that the Police have been alerted and Facebook security also has been told about this.  There is not a lot that they can do except to try and make sure this doesn’t happen again.  We all have to be a part of that! We all have to keep our eyes and ears open without getting too paranoid or hurting more people in the process.  Don’t accuse anyone if you are not sure, because that’s happened to some RSD/CRPS patients as well.  That has got to be a horrible feeling and it appeared that the people who were wrongly accused have regressed and so we have to be so careful not to be one way or another.  Just be on your guard but not overly suspicious of everyone due to this situation.

Here is a link to another article written by someone else regarding this subject:  http://www.blbchronicpain.co.uk/news/facebook-crps-faker-pretend/

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June Is PTSD Awareness Month


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With all of the different awareness ribbons and events, fundraisers and 5k walks for different illnesses out there; not many want to talk about PTSD. During the month of June each year, time is set aside to remember the illness called “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder”.  It seems to be an awareness month that we don’t talk much about but it is a very real illness.  PTSD is a disorder which can occur when there is a failure to recover after experiencing or witnessing a shocking, scary, dangerous and/or terryifying event or events. According to the Mayo Clinic, there are more that 3 million cases each year in the United States.

This illness can last months or years, with certain words, ideas and even smells that trigger the memories of the trauma. Along with the memories that return, there are intense emotional and physical feelings and reactions in the body.  Some of the symptoms of PTSD might include things like depressed mood, anxiety, nightmares, flashbacks, heightened “fight or flight” response and avoidance of situations that bring back the trauma.  There is treatment for this illness which may include Psychotherapy, behavioral therapy and medication.

There is a natural “fight or flight” response in our bodies that is supposed to warn us when there is danger near or that something terrifying might happen.  It is normal to feel afraid during and after a traumatic event or situation occurs. This fear is something that brings about a chemical change in the body to protect us from whatever may be happening that is fearful.  It is the body’s way to help defend against or avoid danger or dangerous situations.  Most people recover quickly and naturally from the initial symptoms of a fearful experience.  There are those who continue to experience problems and feel stressed or frightened even when they aren’t in danger any longer.  These people are sometimes diagnosed with PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Not everyone who experiences PTSD had been through something very dangerous, but instead may have experienced the loss of someone very close to them. The symptoms usually begin within 3 months of the traumatic event, but often can occur immediately.  These symptoms must last more than  one month  and be severe enough to interfere with working and personal relationships, to be considered true PTSD.  Some people can and will recover within 6 months, some have chronic symptoms.  A Doctor who has experience with mental illness, such as a PHD Psychologist, Psychotherapist or Psychiatrist is needed to diagnose PTSD properly.

One of the most common things that people experience with having PTSD is called “flashbacks”.  This happens when you relive the traumatic experience inside of your mind or body over and over.  There are physical symptoms like a fast or racing heart beat, sweating, bad dreams and invasive fearful thoughts.  People with PTSD also try to avoid smells, places and situations that remind them of the experience(s). An example might be a bad car accident; afterwards a person with PTSD might not want to drive a car or even be a passenger.  When you have this illness you are or can be easily startled, you may feel “on edge” and have insomnia or have trouble sleeping. When someone experiences these unpleasant feelings after a traumatic event for just a short time afterwards, it is called ASD, or Acute Stress Disorder.  When they last longer and affect a persons ability to function, it is then called PTSD.

If you would like to participate in the June PTSD awareness month events on Social media, you can visit http://www.ptsd.va.gov/about/ptsd-awareness/promo material awareness.asp.  You can also follow the National Center for PTSD on Facebook and Twitter.  Those links can be found at the bottom of the website at http://www.ptsd.va.gov.  No matter how much you think you know about PTSD, there is always more to learn and ongoing research, new treatments etc.  Please take action, help those who suffer and live with this illness by visiting:  www.ptsd.va.gov/public/wher0to-get-help.asp.  Spread awareness as often as you can, but especially during the month of June each year.  This is the month which is set aside for people to share information and make people more aware of this debilitating condition that I, and many others live with. Take the mystery out of this condition, learn about it, find out who is affected an how you can help.

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Walking Through The Day With a Pain Warrior


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This is not just a story about me, but a story that many pain warriors live through on a daily basis. I know because I talk to many of them often.  Much of this is “our story”. …..I awaken each day; the first thing that I do is cry inside of my head. My body lay still too long.  Four hours is too long! I feel pain and don’t want to get up, or move because I know it will hurt. I’m so tired of the pain. I lay there and contemplate rising to my feet.  I hear my husband call my name.  He always says “Hello my Love, Good Morning! Time to rise and shine!”  He tells our Kitty, Luna, to come and get me. She always listens to him and she enters our bedroom and meows for me to get on my feet. Still lying there, I think about the day ahead and wonder if it will be a busy day?  Will it be one in which I have to do a few things? Or will it be a day that I can be a bit quiet?

After 40 minutes has passed from the time I took my medication, I attempt to get up.  First I sit up and I feel the pain in my back. The Degenerative disc disease, Scoliosis, Spondylitis and multiple herniated and bulging discs, make it almost an impossible feat. The medication does help. It takes the pain down from a 9 to about a 5; and I finally get up.  But then there’s the stairs to tackle. I hold onto the rail and then I lean on the wall. I fumble my way down the stairs, as my cat scampers past me, ready for her cuddles on my way to the kitchen. First, I sit on the ottoman and pet her for a few moments and then it’s time for breakfast. My husband has already made the tea and has my toast ready to go.

He goes to work and I go to my chair, my recliner. In my spot, there is a pillow and a blanket and a settle in for a look on the computer.  What fantastic things have happened overnight on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram? I answer a few questions, maybe I help a few people in my support groups? People always volunteer to help me with my groups because they are becoming large for one person to handle on a daily basis. People mean well, but they are also in pain and have much going on in their lives.  Eventually they stop helping and I’m alone again.  I don’t want to give up, because some people just need someone to listen, anyone.  I like being that person. I want to help and do something of value with my life.

Maybe after awhile at the computer, I will either write a blog post, an article for the National Pain Report; or maybe I’ll sign a song that day.  I love the beauty of ASL and the way the emotions come out of my body, hands and face. I can feel something other than pain. Until I’m finished; and then the pain is worse.  I have to rest and take more medications. My husband comes home for lunch because he says that he likes to check in on me.  We’ve been married for 20 years and he always comes home for lunch. I am one lucky lady to have such a knight in shining armor at my side. He never complains about doing so much. He cleans, cooks and does the laundry; after mowing the lawn and fixing whatever needs repaired in the house. Still, he never complains.

In the afternoon, I may visit my granddaughters and my daughter who live only a few blocks away. I’m still able to drive for “personal errands” and for about 10 minutes at a time. If I visit them, I get lots of hugs and kisses and more love and life than you can even imagine. They are rays of sunshine in a world of pain.  They don’t understand that I am in pain and that’s a good thing for now.  I like to light up their faces and give them love and receive that same love in return. My daughter and I may do a couple of errands or have a coffee and chat. It seems like a nice day, right? It’s true, it’s the nicest day you could imagine. Then I come home and I sink into my recliner and sometimes my cat will come and sit with me.  Her love is unconditional and she seems to know when I’m in more pain than usual. She gives me comfort and love, unconditional love.  By that time it is 3:30 in the afternoon.  It’s been a full day and my pain has risen from the activities.  I can’t do anything else.  I don’t have the energy to make dinner anymore. The fatigue is deep and lasts for long periods of time.  I rest and sometimes I nod off in my chair. The cat jumps off of the chair and the back door opens.  My hero is home! The love of my life and my forever soul-mate comes home from another day at his job as a teacher. We muster up something to eat for dinner. Mostly, for him; because eating has become something difficult now. It’s not fun or anything I look forward to anymore. I have IBS, S.I.B.O., and Gastroparesis. There’s so much I’m incapable of eating now.  If I just throw caution to the wind, and eat to be social or “fun”; I suffer more.  There’s the nausea, constant nausea and burning whether it is high or low in my stomach; it’s awful either way.  Then if I eat just a tiny bit too much, I will be sick for hours afterwards. This is something that others don’t see or understand.  My husband sees and watches it from the other side. Then there are the others who I “talk to” on the other side of this computer. Many of them truly do understand.

Then, my friends; it is evening time. The sun goes down and we watch some Television together and maybe read or “play” on the internet for awhile.  All too soon, it is 10:30 pm and my husband goes up to bed. He. has to work in the morning.  He kisses me goodnight and tells me not to stay up too long.  I tell him that I will come to bed as soon as I feel like I’m able to sleep.  Time goes by and it’s one in the morning, then 2:00 AM and 3:00 AM.   I start to nod off as I’m messaging the other “night owls” who are my fellow pain warriors. They are with me at night, because they too cannot sleep either.  We try to give each other support and the strength to persevere.  Finally, the sparks of chatter start to diminish online.  I too, feel like I truly want sleep to come and save me from my body and the pain that is within. Much of the pain is physical, but there is no lack of mental anguish.

***I come from a family that doesn’t know or care that I exist. They are called “M.N.’s” or Malignant Narcissist’s.  I try to stay away, keep my distance. For some reason, I cannot “let go” totally.  Maybe I feel that I owe them something for bringing me into this world. But truly it’s been nothing but pain and abuse as far back as I can remember. Then the failed marriages because I didn’t know how to feel love until I met my soul-mate, Craig. We’ve been married 20+ years now. I thank God for him every day because nobody has ever truly loved me until I met him. Some people ask me why I always go back for more abuse and more pain? I guess he’s still my father and one of my two brothers is still my brother. The other one, I cannot even discuss and won’t.  My oldest brother used to try and protect me, but one day he stopped.  It was the day that I told our family “secrets”. That is when my father took his revenge and turned everyone he could, against me.  I’m not sure why they listen to him? I’ve always been kind hearted, loving and as good a person as I can be. But now the entire family, including dozens of cousins, have shoved me “under the rug”. I am an an outcast.  None of them will talk to me or even look at me if we meet.

I don’t get invited to the very very large family reunions.  Even though I was the only one in my nuclear family that ever attended those functions.  I always took my children to them while they were growing up. I wanted them to have a sense of “family” and belonging. I helped my one cousin, the only one who is the same age as me. She is 6 months older and I always got her “hand-me-downs”. I went for food when she had her big garage sales. I helped her when the family turned against her as her mother was dying. I told her not to let them “punish” her and told her to hold her head up high. They were so mean to her because she couldn’t let her mother come and stay with her when she was very sick and dying. I felt her pain as she told me the stories of her abusive childhood;  we could relate to one another.

But **one day, in 2002, I was in a terrible car accident which started all of the physical pain. No one came for me except my husband. Again, my knight in shining armor there with me and at my side through thick and thin, good and bad.  ***My cousin said she couldn’t come to our house and sit with me for awhile so my husband could do errands. I couldn’t be left alone as I could not even go to the bathroom or dress/undress myself or.    cut my own food. She said that “seeing me in so much pain, made her depressed.  If she was depressed, then her family would suffer.”  Therefore, she could not see me anymore. I’ve not seen her again except at a couple of funerals, but she won’t even look at me. ****I went to my favorite Aunt’s funeral yesterday.  It was in a church and my dad didn’t come because he would have had to have been “nice to me”; and then they might know that we’ve tried to “talk a little bit now and then” again.  Only one cousin spoke to me and only one other even looked my way and smiled.  My Aunts children were welcoming. They knew that their mom and I had a relationship. My cousin, her daughter, told me “mom wouldn’t have had it any other way”; when I thanked her for “letting me come to the funeral”.

**I watched my family all sitting in the same church, singing “Let there Be Peace on Earth”. While the words came out of their mouths, there was no peace in that room.  Only a gathering of many who really don’t know each other anymore, but had one thing in common.  That one thing was the love for a woman who knew how to live and how to love. So you see, there is physical pain and there are other kinds of pain. Some of these exacerbate the others. We just have to surround ourselves with those who want us in their lives.  Those who want to give and receive; or share love with us.

When my head finally hits the pillow at night, I lie down and listen to my husband’s breathing. So glad to hear those sounds of life and know that this person beside me has truly shown me what real love is all about.  I never knew if I would have that, some people never get to know it.  People who are “damaged” like me, have a hard time very often knowing the difference between real love and hurtful kinds of “twisted” love.  I’m fortunate to know this man and lucky to have his love and to have him to love. I try to let the sleep come to me. Relax, sigh and listen to the breath sounds and the sound of the cat purring next to me. This is my real “medicine” in life.  They, along with my children and grandchildren are what makes me happy. I try to remember these thoughts as I fitfully sleep for a few hours, only to wake up to the “fear” of getting up on my feet once more again tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

From Mini Van to Wheelchair In 10 Seconds!


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I awaken each day; the first thing that I do is cry. I cry because I’m in pain and it is as though someone stepped on my back in the night and feels “broken”.  My husband hears my cries and he goes and gets my pain medication. Medication that I’ve taken since 2005; and never more but sometimes less. He proceeds to start making breakfast, coffee and give tap water to our Cat. It’s her favorite thing in the morning aside from running up the stairs to get me after about 20-30 minutes. My husband says “Luna, go and get Momma”!  She bolts up the stairs and “Meows” at me to get up. She doesn’t stop until I am upright and together we go down the stairs. It’s almost 7:00 am, and most likely I just went to bed at 4:00 am. I have some tea and toast. We chat a bit and he goes to work.

I have choices to make and they are not easy ones. My oldest daughter only lives 2 or 3 blocks away, with her husband and our two eldest granddaughters, ages 4 and 2 1/2.  We see each other often but it’s so hard for me to fight the deep, deep fatigue and pain to do  a lot of outings and I just am not able to babysit alone, without my husband there.  I think it upsets her and I feel so bad inside because I cannot do what I wish I could do. The first year and a half that we were reunited (**my daughter left home at age 18 and was away for 10 years. This is not a story about those very sad times. This is about the reuniting of a family that was broken because of a car accident.  My daughters were used to me being and doing everything and suddenly I could not do anything, not even dress myself. My eldest ran from the pain and surgeries), I think I ran on adrenaline.  I saw her/them daily and then afterwards, I came home and crashed. Was that fair to my husband? No, it wasn’t! Did he say one word about it to me? No, because he was so happy to see my heart whole again. It was broken for 10 years!

So now it’s been about 3 years and so much has happened. I lost my Dr. of 12 years and the old pain medications that made easier for me to do more, it seemed.  My pain Dr. is much better now and the regimen that I’m on is safer.  But I’m unable to do the activities that I wish to do with them.  If I was the person that I had been, I would be making snow angels with them in the snow.  I’d be baking cookies and running around playing tag and “Duck, Duck Goose”. I do play some “sit down” (for me) games with them and we have tea parties. We watch Disney movies and I love it when they sit close to me and play with my hair. I used to take my walker to the zoo or on daily outings. I sat down when I was tired and I just was happy to be together.  I’m still so very happy to have everyone together. I could never have had a happy life without both of my daughters and my grandchildren it.

Time has changed me and now I am tired and in pain much faster;  more deep than before. In 2013, my CRPS changed from being in my feet and knees; to “severe systemic and disseminated”.  It happened after what was supposed to be a 45 minute surgery but turned out to be a 3 hour heart and pectoral muscle rebuild surgery.  I’ve never recovered and have felt a deep deep fatigue since then. If I do something for 2 hours one day, then I’m in my recliner for the rest of the day. I don’t want it to be this way, I don’t like it at all.  I want to spend a whole day at the zoo with my granddaughters.  I feel that my oldest daughter gets so frustrated when I cannot do the things I pushed myself to do at the beginning.  Nobody understands “Invisible Illnesses”, not even our own families or friends. We used to go to dinner each Friday with my best friend and her husband. I’ve cancelled a few times in this past year and now I can feel a difference.  Things that I wish I could do, I no longer am able to do.  I love and look forward to babysitting when my husband is home and he is with me.  He is there so that when I start to be too tired and in too much pain, he takes over.

But I lose friends and have lost people related to me. My own family cousin, who’d been my best friend for years; stopped talking with us after the car accident.  My husband had called and asked her to come over because I could not be left alone at the beginning. I couldn’t dress or undress myself.  I couldn’t even go to the rest room without help.  My cousin and another person who was a good friend of ours, told Craig “No, I just can’t help because it’s too sad.  When I get sad, then my family is sad and I cannot do that to them.” She took herself out of my life and so did the rest of my cousins, and family.  I called my own brother after the accident from the hospital. I had been unconscious and when I finally got to a room, I tried to reach for the phone and missed. I hit my cheek instead.  I called the only number that stuck in my head due to the TBI, it was my oldest brother. He answered the phone and I told him I ‘d been in a car accident, a bad one. I told him I was in the hospital and he answered back by saying, “Oh…you need someone? …..CLICK” and he hung up on me. Craig is my hero and the only person who’s ever truly loved me unconditionally. He’s there when I need him and when I think I don’t think I need him so much.

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