Fear Instead Of Trust


Hello Luvs,

Sorry I’ve been quiet for a little while. I recently went to get new hearing aids. I was so excited to get new ones after 10 + years with my old Rextons. I was awaiting new insurance after my husband retired.

I went to see the audiologist & afterwards she asked if I’d be willing to see the nurse practitioner. I agreed, & afterwards they told me that I needed a CT scan because my hearing had declined so much more on the right side. They set up an appointment with their ENT Dr., the day after we returned from visiting our daughter, son in law & grand babies. I was a bit curious as to WHY they were telling me to come the day after I got home? I would be in pain and exhausted. But it never entered my mind what I would find out next!

So, when we were in Texas, I got an email message telling me that my CT results were available in the hospital’s portal. I know there’s a disclaimer stating that “you can find out things about the gender of your baby, HIV or other illnesses, even cancer”. In other words, do not look if you don’t want to know until you’re sitting with a Doctor.

But I’ve been through a car accident, deafness, multiple chronic pain illnesses & approximately 9 surgeries just since that accident. I can handle it, right? It can’t be bad if they already put it in the portal…can it?

It’s not bad…. it’s worse than that. I’ve never been so terrified in my entire life! I don’t even know how to verbalize my fear this time. There’s no way around it. I can’t go over or under it. I am being forced to go through it. I’ve been diagnosed with a Cholesteatoma. If you see the #cholestatoma or #cholesteatomasucks on Instagram, it looks like a horror movie. I’m not kidding! It’s really terrifying and people get these horrible skull base surgeries. Facial nerves, worsening deafness and brains are involved.

I found out that I have to have my hair shaved on the right side above my ear. My mastoid bone is affected; as are the 3 bones needed for any hearing. My skull will be drilled and after a 3-4+ hour surgery and more pain on top of my full body RSD/CRPS & other high pain illnesses; it has a 50% chance of coming back!

Anyways, I’ll write another post after I process what will happen tomorrow morning 6-10-19. I’m seeing a skull base/neuro/ear surgeon at 8:30 am tomorrow/Monday morning. I’ll get my questions answered, I hope? Will he be kind and compassionate? Will he help my post-op pain?

I saw my pain Dr. this past Thursday. I also saw my GP this week. The GP was so kind and first time ever, she gave me a hug. My pain Dr has turned from Dr Jekyll to Mr. Hyde over the past year. I’ve never failed a drug test or run out of meds early! I’ve never done anything wrong, yet he’s treated me less than human now for months! Before he’d even accept me as a new patient; he ordered me to stop taking my “quick acting” pain medication. It was something I’d been taking for 13 years (*my former Dr. of 12 years had prescribed it, but then one day he just vanished. That’s when I was forced to find a new Dr.).

In July 2018; he told me he was stopping my long acting pain medication… “that day”! No tapering just stopping it! I did not cry or get upset but I asked “why”? He told me “it’s illegal now and if I help you, I won’t be able to help all of those other people “!

I got him to listen a tiny bit because I reminded him of my stroke and heart attack in the past. He decided to give me one more month. He then said in a nasty tone that he was doing that “to get me psychologically ready”! Really?? It has zero to do with my psychological status and everything to do with high impact chronic pain. Of course he “covered himself” by offering me a different, long acting medication that I cannot take because of issues with Gastroparesis & not being able to metabolize a long acting oral medication. My GI Dr wrote him a letter & told him just that! The pain doctor just said, “This is bullshit! His medical license isn’t any better than mine! If he wants you to have that pain medication, let him prescribe it”! Well, of course He’s a GI doctor and he can’t!

I had my other physicians telling me that “it was unethical for my pain Dr to taper me so quickly!” They said it should have been 10% lowered at a time! But nobody was there to save me and I had to accept it and try my best to move on & keep going. I did it myself when I was told to get off of the quick acting medication. My body physically did not feel well for awhile but I never once craved it or wanted it in my mind- not ever! Then I got off of that long acting medication and once again, I did it myself! You’d think my pain Dr would respect me just a little. But instead, he’s treated me in a demeaning, disrespectful manner ever since last year in March of 2018.

I told my pain doctor that I’m going to have to have this really scary skull surgery soon. That I’m seeing a neuro/skull base/ear surgeon. He was so cold, uncaring & horrible that I truly cannot believe he’s a physician! He told me that I shouldn’t behave like I’m “too afraid” or the surgeon may refuse to take my case! That’s insane if you ask me! What high impact chronic pain patient, headed for hair shaving, painful head surgery wouldn’t be afraid? I’m literally frozen with fear inside! But I’m strong, resilient and I’ve been a survivor through childhood abuse, horrible teen years with my kids, abusive marriages and a catastrophic car accident. Since the car accident, there have been 9 surgeries, 2 pacemakers and several metal screws and implants embedded into my body.

I can do this! Right? Can I do this? Do I have a choice? What did I do that’s so terrible in my life? I have tried my best to be a good person & to help others. I’ve been a Chemo-angel since 2005. I’ve written countless letters, made numerous videos and I’ve met with & spoken to legislators regarding this fake opioid crisis! This horrible and torturous pain crisis that’s killing innocent people everywhere.

Now comes the big question, what happens with my post-op pain care? My pain Dr told me if he was my anesthesiologist, he wouldn’t give after care post-op meds because of “risk for complications”! Gosh… I’ll bet if it was his skull being drilled, he’d be asking for some pain relief medication? He acted like I was getting a hangnail removed! Anyone else who I’ve told, says “oh my goodness, that sounds scary!”

So, my friends, here we are on the eve prior to the appointment when I’ll get all of my questions answered, I hope! What do I ask? How do I ask it? Will I be judged? Will I be too complicated and will he “run”? Will he really not help me just because I’m afraid? I’m not acting out hysterically. I’m not crying in front of the Drs. But I’m deeply scared and I’m having horror flick, bloody, stabbing nightmares! I don’t even know the surgery date as if this post. But I’m pretty sure I’ll know by the time most of you read this.

I promise to let you know when it will happen. If anything happens to me, please don’t forget me, OK? I love so many of you. I’ve seen so many of my friends in pain pass away over the past few years…it’s sad and I miss them a lot (Connie, Cyndi “Maw”, Theresa, Gwen Barbara, and Dawn Anderson most recently).

I’m not being morbid, I promise I’m just afraid. I feel less strong as I get older now. I’m 57 years old and was just looking forward to enjoying retirement with my soul-mate; my husband. He retired last June and we’ve had one thing after another come up. I’d really like to take a breath and enjoy some period of time in my life, for a change. We have 4 darling grandchildren. I just want to hug them, love them and enjoy them as much as possible. Will I ever get to do that now?

Oh…. & last but not least, I told my father about this upcoming surgery. I told him that “I wanted my mom more than ever right now” (she died in 2002). He told me that through her cancer etc., there were many times she “needed things“(he was telling me that I wasn’t there for her)! Well, I’ll just share with you all that I tried prior to my catastrophic car accident, to be there for her. I showed up at the hospital even after being told “she didn’t want me there”. I got there and I was told to leave. I was the only person allowed by the nurses, to sit with her in PRE-Op for 2 hours. We had 2 hours of alone time and it was once in my life that we got along & she wanted me around, it seemed? It was very nice, actually. But then the entire duration of the surgery, I was bullied, mocked, disrespected and literally treated like scum under a sink, by my Aunt, my 2 brothers and my dad.

Please pray for me so that I can be strong like I used to be and like I usually am. I need strength and . I’m terribly frightened tonight as my fate lies in the hands of a stranger that I will meet in 7 hours or so. I have heard & seen many horror stories of pain patients like me, being denied proper post-Op pain management. That fear is probably my biggest fear of all, or in the top 3!

Oh yes, I almost forgot to tell you what my Pain Doc said before I left his office on Thursday. He told me he was “OK with me getting the 3 days of post operative pain control from the surgeon”. He told me to “not accept the post-op meds if they just give me Tylenol with codeine, because that would be like a baby aspirin for me”!

In 2013, I had a full pectoral rebuild and new pacemaker. My cardiologist was wonderful to me! Things are so different now! Im feeling like the powers that be, the government just want persons like me to be gone and out of the way. But I’m still a human being. I want to live. I want to travel even a little. I want to be a grandmother.

I promise to write a quick post as soon as I process and know what’s happening & when the surgery will be.

Thank you in advance, for any and all prayers, positive thoughts & energy sent my way.

As I await my upcoming appointment I would love to be able to sleep. But when I’m really afraid, my GI tract takes over. It’s as though I’m on “auto pilot”. I get overwhelming stomach nausea and flu-like symptoms. THATS how fearful I am feeling. I’ve tried to control it but it’s a combination of PTSD, Dysautonomia & a highly over active “fight or flight response’.

In conclusion, I have a final request: Now is NOT the time to tell me a horror stories regarding any of your past head, skull or brain surgeries. When I recover, I promise…..then I will be glad to listen, help and share etc. Also, it’s such a shame in these days of crazy & draconian policies, that we all have fear instead of trust in the entire “system”.

Sending you love and light!

Do No Harm?


There’s a tragedy that’s happening to not only me, but millions of U.S. citizens, almost daily now. It seems that each month, many pain Dr.’s are terrorizing, demeaning, denigrating & dropping their sickest patients who live with mostly life-long chronic & disabling painful illnesses. (I’ll be referencing my personal experiences for the purpose of this writing).

My Pain Management Dr. seems to be terrorizing me just a little bit more….then a little more etc.. When I started there several years ago, he had tears in his eyes, as I sat sharing my history and past test results with him. He told me he would take me on as a patient if I’d be willing to stop taking this one quick acting pain med. (*of course after 12 years taking it), my body went through physical dependence w/d and I felt horrible for awhile, but I got through it. My heart Dr helped by prescribing 2 meds to help me physically. Things went along OK, until my PM Doc, told me, during my September 2018 visit, “that he was stopping my LA/ER medication”. He informed me he would begin, THAT day, all at once-“cold turkey”. I didn’t freak out, but I reminded him of my past h/o stroke and heart attack and how it’s not safe. He said he’d “let” me have 1 more month at 25% less, “to help me be psychologically ready”(wth???)… so I went with it. Next, I called my heart Dr and GI dr & they wrote a letter to my PM Dr., stating “that this wasn’t safe”. Also they explained how “it’s been working since 2003”. They pretty much wrote, “don’t mess with what is not broken”. They also reminded him of my illnesses, including Gastroparesis & my history of a stroke, heart attack !

The PM Dr became quite angry & said “their medical license isn’t any better than mine! Let them prescribe it to you, if they want you to have it!”… he ended up doing a quick taper and covered his a_ _ , by offering me a LA/ER oral medication that he knows I cannot take because of the Long QT & Gastroparesis.

Ok ….so I stopped the patch, got sick -worsened pain etc/physically. I went from doing a lot of volunteer work to sitting in my recliner 16 hours a day-due to pain.

Therefore, NOW each month that I go to him, I get a stomachache, nausea & diarrhea etc. & my anxiety is high. Last month he decided to add to our little conversation that “he won’t interfere right now”, but “they” want chronic pain patients to stop taking anymore anxiety medications. I’ve been on mine -(a very low dose) barely once a day (I take zero for many days at a time also)… but he says since HE doesn’t prescribe it, HE will not interfere “YET”! But soon he won’t be able to prescribe my short acting pain meds, if I am prescribed my small amount of anti-anxiety meds! Then he let me go home…until this month.

This month he surprised me with the fact that not only IS HE FORCED to prescribe me Narcan, but that I MUST pick it up if I want my pain (SA) medication!!! I told him “I don’t want or need it! I’ve been on less than I had been taking! Also, I have never had an issue since the guy ran a red light and hit me with his car and started all of this!!” He insisted, so I shut my mouth and left. He continued to send both scripts to pharmacy. But first he had to tell me how the “Narcan is like a fire extinguisher! You keep it around in case you need it!” Ok, but it’s different than that because a fire could possibly happen!! But me overdosing is NOT a possibility, when I’m on half of what I’d been on since 2003 -until now!! I NEVER TAKE MORE OR TOO MUCH!

I told my husband that I didn’t want the Narcan in my history, my records and I don’t want to be somehow misrepresented or “flagged” and I instructed him to “Not pick it up”! He went to the pharmacy & talked to the pharmacist. They told him “that was fine. The Dr. can offer it but I don’t need to accept it”, especially since I don’t have SAD or SUD!! Also, it was not covered by my Medicare advantage insurance plan. It would’ve cost $120 “out of pocket” !!!

Tell me what’s wrong with this picture?? Drug addicts are given free needles and free special clean disposal of those needles even in selected Starbucks stores now!! Addicts are given FREE Narcan!! What the hell is going on in this country?? A good, law abiding NON-addict has to pay and be punished for doing nothing–ZERO WRONG..& is told they must pay $120 for something they don’t want or need!! Nor will they ever need (btw, the pain management Dr explained how this Narcan expires yearly & I’d have to get a new one annually!!!????)! This is crazy, ludicrous and it’s “Market rigging!” They want sick & disabled people to pay for items that are not necessary and rig it so that they will not give them the pain medication that they need, unless they do so!!

This is wrong and bad and absolutely not right or lawful!! The pharmacist told us that we don’t HAVE TO get the Narcan filled & it’s not covered by insurance. It costs $120 out of pocket!

You can guess what happened and I’m good for another month! Until next month when I’ll be badgered, intimidated, terrorized! Also, the Dr (but actually the government in my Dr.’ chair) will try to fear monger me into less medication or some other life altering medication switch that I don’t want &/or cannot take!

Why can’t they leave us alone? Let me continue my treatment plan that has worked for 14-15 years?? Why do they have a need to terrorize us, demean us and eventually kill us all off ?? It’s all about money & big government studies without our consent!! It’s all about “Control” and “getting rid of the sick and most weak” persons in society so that we don’t drain the system without being productive!

What about all of those years that I worked and paid money into social security?? I deserve that back and I’m not getting government hand-outs!! Why is this happening?? This is all crazy Eugenics, Nazi B.S. !! Someone please help the chronic pain community NOW!! Before it’s too late!! A news station, a politician or a celebrity with a big voice, PLEASE HELP US NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE! I have lost several friends already because of this FAKE …NON-Prescription opioid / Opioid crisis!

Wake up American media, &/or politicians who have a heart; who aren’t money hungry or power hungry!! Wake up and help these citizens. There’s a large group of 100 million chronic pain patients who need you to step in and DO something to stop the suffering!!

The INTERNATIONAL Association for the Study of Pain (IASP), says that suffering is inhumane and unnecessary! International Association for the Study of Pain

Preamble

“The mission of the International Association for the Study of Pain is “to stimulate and support the study of pain and to translate that knowledge into improved pain relief worldwide.” Its overall vision is “Working together for pain relief throughout the world.” The most preventable form of human pain is that inflicted in the form of torture and inhumane treatment, whether physical or psychological. The participation by IASP members in acts of torture or inhumane treatment is therefore against the fundamental principles of the Association.

“For the purpose of this Declaration, torture is defined as the deliberate, systematic or wanton infliction of physical or mental suffering by one or more persons acting alone or on the orders of a public authority, to force another person to yield information, to make a confession, or for any other reason.” [World Medical Association. Declaration of Tokyo (1975). Adopted by the World Medical Association, Tokyo, Japan, October 1975.]”

S.O.S……HELP US!!!!

Too Little Too Late


So now we know that we’ve been human test subjects for a study performed by our US government (thanks to CIAAG, Lauren DeLuca & the administration of that Non-profit org.CIAAG website).

All along we’ve been discussing, writing and protesting with non violent rallies etc., to have our voices heard. The voices of the most chronically ill persons who have been living in an environment of fear, torture & Hell for the past 3 years, due to the CDC Guidelines. We know they were written in secret by a few addiction experts and others who had no knowledge of what chronic pain/disabling high impact chronic pain is all about. They don’t understand or know what it’s like to live with high amounts of ongoing, never ending pain 365/24/7.

Our government leaders allowed these people without any knowledge of chronic pain/painful disabling/lifelong illnesses, make medical decisions that changed and lost lives by the thousands and even hundreds of thousands. Here is a recent article by Dr Jeffrey Fudin, MD, in his blog “Practical Pain Management”. It is a great article and speaks to our government and it’s meddling in the lives of our own chronic pain patient community:

https://www.practicalpainmanagement.com/resources/news-and-research/too-little-too-late-us-government-backtracks-opioid-discontinuation

A Letter To RFK (Human Rights) Foundation


RFK Human Rights Group: Watch Video

Hello Luvs,

I was sent a video about the RFK, Human Rights Group. It’s led by Kerry Kennedy, daughter of the late Robert Kennedy. She is an attorney and she now leads this human rights group: RFK Human Rights group website

Immediately, I drafted a letter to her and sent it. Below, I have copied/pasted the exact letter that I sent to Ms. Kennedy. Something must change! The “Opioid Hysteria Crisis” is one of the worst nightmares I’ve witnessed &/or experienced. Watching a large group of approximately 26 million (out of the 100 million people living with chronic pain) human beings, systematically tortured to death has been horrendous. To be a witness to this despicable, willful & planned money making scheme, is nauseating to say the least! I’ve watched as the innocent chronically ill people in our pain community die and continue to die on a weekly basis. Maybe I will be next? So I pray that doesn’t happen and that I keep fighting.

I have been a very active advocate/activist in fighting for the rights of people in the chronic pain community. I have led the fight as far back as 2007, in spreading awareness, doing fundraisers, leading several online support groups & then being certified & leading “in-person” chronic pain support groups as well. I’m certified in pediatric RSD/CRPS, as well as being the Social media assistant for RSDSA. I’m a freelance writer with a blog (this one, @tearsoftruth.com) that has been nominated twice for “Best In show- blog by WEGO Health Awards. I was invited by IDA ( Invisible disabilities Association) to do & ultimately did a featured video on their “Invisible No More” YouTube channel. In 2016,’17 & ’18, I had 42 articles published. I was one of the many advocates/Drs/nurses etc., who helped edit & sign the letter to Brandeis University, demanding that Andrew Kolodny be fired for his leading role in the torture & deaths of multiple chronic pain patients (due to forced tapering & the 2016 CDC Guidelines).

Lastly, I was awarded the “US Pain Ambassador of the Year Award” in 2016. Afterwards, I was asked to be on the USPF Board of Directors (*a volunteer position which I accepted & later resigned after only 8 months. If you want to read more about that, visit: Why I resigned from the US Pain Foundation).

There’s more, but you get the idea. Sadly, since last Summer, 2018, I had my LA/ER pain medication forcibly & quickly tapered between July 22 –September 1st, 2018. I’d been doing reasonably well on a stable dose for 14 years. Since then I can often be found in my “Lazy boy” type of recliner, approximately 16 hours per day. I continue to do my best with my online support groups and I continue to fight for us via my blog/writing, support groups, mentoring for RSDSA, Social media Support for RSDSA & Deaf/HoH communications Director for CIAAG. I try to support everyone and stay out of any drama. I’m doing all that I can do at this point in time.

This is inhumane and torturous for the USA to be treating their citizens this way! Someone please help us!

Here’s the letter that I wrote to the Human Rights Watch group, run by Kerry Kennedy:

Dear Ms. Kennedy 

I’m writing to you today because I know that you help people who’ve had their human rights violated. I represent only one out of 100 million people in the chronic pain community. Out of that number, there are an estimated 26 million of us who urgently need your help.  Many people in the United States of America are  dealing with horrific pain on a daily basis.  I stand along with them  & implore you to help put an end to the violation of human rights that is taking place. 

The CDC, DEA and “Big Brother” Pharma companies are “hurting” the American chronic pain Community. We are losing access to medically necessary medications that enable us to live some semblance of a life. 

We are and have been losing access to our pain relieving medications since the implementation of 2016 CDC Guidelines.  We are  being “lumped together” with illicit drug users and addicts. Every time a celebrity dies of an overdose, they blame the pain meds as the cause of death. But really it’s the misuse and abuse of pain medications along with the use of recreational street drugs. 

A Dr. should not be afraid to prescribe Opioid pain medications to their patients because of repercussions from the CDC or DEA. But our pain Physicians are leaving in droves because of them & the 2016 CDC Guidelines. 

The  “Opioid epidemic” is about illegal/illicit fentanyl brought here from Mexico & China. It’s not about us, the 100 million chronic pain patients in the USA. Only 1% of legitimate chronic pain patients who are legitimately prescribed opioids, for high amounts of pain, ever become addicted. It’s as though our country is now torturing and punishing people for being ill.

Ms. Kennedy, we are not addicts and we are not “addicted”.  A person can be “dependent” on a medication and not be addicted! They are two very different situations. We are not addicted to our medications and we do not get cravings nor do we get “high” from them. An addict seeks out their “drug of choice” at any cost.  They look forward to taking them because of the “high” they get. A legitimate chronic pain patient who’s done well for years on a stable dose of opioid pain medication, doesn’t get any sort of “high”.  We also take our medications responsibly.  We get some relief and reprieve from the daily chronic pain that we live with. 

Please help us get back the physician / patient relationship, without interference from Pharmacy’s, insurers, the government and politics.  Please help us to keep our Drs in charge. It should be the decision between patient/physician to choose what is necessary and best for our pain control. They went to medical school and the government did not.

Many pain management Dr’s are leaving the practices they’ve built and the profession they’ve worked hard at, to achieve. They’re  afraid because they are being wrongly targeted by the DEA . They aren’t free to prescribe medications that help to relieve pain anymore. 

People in the USA in 2019 are being tortured and hurt by this on a daily basis. Just yesterday, I read the story of a 94-year-old woman who shattered her kneecap and was taken to the hospital emergency room. They immobilized her knee and sent her home without any pain control at all. Can you even imagine shattering your kneecap and not getting any thing to help with a torturous pain like that?
Ms. Kennedy, please help us? I understand there are people who die from overdoses. But they are a totally separate group of people who need a different kind of help. It shouldn’t be at the expense of an entire separate community of citizens. People In pain are being taken off of their Opioid pain medication during one visit to the Dr’s office. Often it’s a Dr. that they’ve gone to for years and they’d been living some semblance of a life while on a regimen of medication for pain control. But because of “fear”, Dr’s are taking away the little bit of life that some of us have left. 

I also don’t believe that anyone should be FORCED to have an invasive surgery in their spine or anywhere for that matter; when an inexpensive & safe pill, with little side effects can help so much. 

I implore you to help the estimated 26 million chronic pain patients in the USA, who are “dependent” on opioids for pain control & who are diligent and take these medications responsibly. Help us to get back the freedom of choice. Get us back to the pain management medication regimens that are life sustaining for us with more tolerable pain levels.

Please read my letter and talk to me if you’d like. We need you to understand that we are “chronic pain patients” and not “addicts”! We are just real people living with unfortunate circumstances & high pain illnesses. Please help us to receive the medications that give us some semblance of a life for ourselves & our families.

Sincerely,

Suzanne B. Stewart
Recipient of U.S. Pain Ambassador of the Year Award‘16, Mentor & Social Media Coordinator @RSDSA, freelance writer, Blogger/Blog “Tears Of Truth” @tearsoftruth.com, Patient leader WEGO Health, HoH/ASL, Director of communications for Deaf/HoH for CIAAG, patient advocate for Deaf/HoH
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars” ~Khalil Gibran~
DISCLAIMER: The contentI is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We do not recommend the self-management of health problems. We can not and do not give you medical advice. The information in this e mail should not be considered complete. Information obtained in this e mail is not exhaustive and does not cover all diseases, ailments, physical conditions or their treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this e mail. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. I do not represent to be an authority but I’m just helping pass information from other organizations, advocates and or websites.

Are Imposters Preying On Unsuspecting Patients In Our Pain Community Again?


Hello Luvs

Once again I’m so sorry to be giving the news regarding the possibility of imposters (or at the very least, these are persons who don’t have the best interest of our pain community in their hearts) infiltrating our pain community. Last I wrote about this subject, was a month ago, inside of several groups, to warn them! It was regarding the notorious “Kate Ashworth” aka “fake RSD/CRPS guru”(see article link below). She was back again; hurting unknowing chronic pain patients! Those affected, just happened to be persons who also live with the unbearable pain of RSD/CRPS. (To find out more about RSD/CRPS, please visit: For Real Facts & Information About RSD/CRPS, follow this link to RSDSA Home Page (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome Association)

*(To Read the article about the imposter,“Kate Ashworth”,who recently came back a second time & infiltrated the RSD/CRPS community; visit this link: This is the Link to the article about Kate Ashworth, an Imposter to the Chronic Pain Community) “Strangers Among Us”

On Tuesday night 3-6-29; I saw a message from a long time RSD/CRPS friend on Facebook. I saw the message very late in middle of the night and it was written by Mary Mattio, in a “closed & secret” Facebook support Group for RSD/CRPS. Posting with permission, this is what I read at approximately 11:30 pm:

I’ll show you everything that was written underneath. But first I want to say “thank you” to Mary Mattio for posting about this to the Facebook group, . When digging deeper, I’d like to say “thank you” also to Tracey Tipton-Morales & Marisa Gravett for their “detective work”, involvement and postings. But we need to all give a special thanks to Sarah Lesley, for being the first to figure out all of this mess which I’m going to try to explain. So thank you to everyone who’s been involved in getting the word out, sharing, reporting and blocking these alleged fakes.(I have to say “alleged” but I believe it is true, with my whole heart!)

This was the full post shared from Sarah Lesley & Marisa Gravett:

⚠️ ATTENTION CHRONIC PAIN COMMUNITY⚠️

* Shared from Sarah Lesley & Marisa Gravett *

Okay CRPS Community: If you are in the group “RSD/CRPS and Neuropathic Pain Syndrome” beware… This was brought to my attention this morning. One of the admins actually works for a treatment center that focuses on getting pain patients to stop talking about their pain, basically making it seem like it’s all in our heads. I just saw a YouTube video shared in a post on that page this morning of him doing a presentation about his research and recovery centers and how it focuses on getting pain patients to stop focusing on their pain and to be able to return to be active members of society again. Basically making it sound like we don’t really need medical care, treatment etc…

I am infuriated at some of the things that I have seen and found out. We believe that many of the admins are either fake or using fake names and or involved in depth with Dr. Rand and his treatment centers as one of his treatment centers is referred to as the Bay Area and the last name of many of the admins is Bay…

Think of this as a conspiracy theory if you wish but I have just seen with my own eyes a YouTube video by Dr. Rand speaking about these treatment centers and it is very clear that this group and possibly other groups that we may all be involved in with similar admins, maybe using the information that we give against us as research, or to turn it in to help with their research or so-called research.

It is clear that this group is not created to help others. Many of the members I am sure do their best to help many people in this group to share information to ask questions and I do not blame or think any of the members are involved except for the ones that are listed as admins.

If you are in this group you are advised to check it out for yourself and if you feel the same way to delete the posts that you have in that page as well as get out of it. Also I would advise all of us to take a better look at who the admins are in many of our groups if we do not know or have never checked it out. We need to do all we can to look out for ourselves and our fellow CRPS Warriors and if there is any chance that this group is not on the up-and-up or could be using our information for any purpose other than to help each other live a life with this horrendous evil monster of a disease, I want no part of it and I do not want any of you to as well.

I was originally going to tag everybody in the post within the group that I’m friends with but there are so many of you I ran out of room on a piece of paper writing your names. I’ll be tagging as many as it will allow. Please if you are a CRPS Warrior check out this group check out the information for yourself and be careful out there.

I urge you all to please report all the fake profiles & all the groups that the fake profiles created & are Admins of, it’s the only way we can get them shut down. This post is now public, please feel free to share. Marisa Gravett has additional information on this as well.

Look up Jerrod Rand on YouTube if you want to see for yourself. Be careful out their Warriors. We are finding way too many wolves in sheeps clothing within our community.

** BELOW ARE SCREENSHOTS OF THE ADMINS & A FEW OF THE GROUPS & PAGES THAT ARE LINKED TO THEM **

**BEFORE I REPORTED & BLOCKED THIS “JERROLD RAND” facebook account (whether someone is using his name, or it is truly this person; we don’t know yet?)- I FOUND THIS POST VERY INTERESTING & TELLING OF PROBLEMS ON/WITH THAT PAGE:

I wanted to add that we all need to be vigilant, but we cannot allow ourselves to overreact or get too upset over this. Though it is very upsetting, our main goal is to stay calm and get the “word out” to the RSD/CRPS & Pain Communities. If everyone who reads this can go and report each of these groups and the 5 accounts that appear to be for the sole purpose of “pushing” these 30 or so “support groups” on unknowing people in pain! If we all can do that, Facebook will be able to shut them down!

Please understand that I’m in no way condemning those who have joined these groups. It’s not their fault. It’s the admins (whoever they truly are??) of those groups who are to blame. They are violating our community and others. Once again, people had recently been asked to send in photos of their Rsd/CRPS affected limbs. People, please don’t send your photos to anyone who asks. If you’re friends with someone who you know & feel comfortable with; and you want to share a photo; go for it! But please, just a bit of advice from my heart: “please don’t send your personal medical photos to anyone who requests them from you”. Also, PLEASE don’t take any medical advice from anyone online. They could be impersonating anyone! Only take therapeutic, medical advice from your own personal medical professionals. The ones who know you and your personal mecical history.

Any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask: Sarah Lesley, Mary Mattio, Marisa Gravett, Tracey Tipton-Morales or you can ask me & I’ll do my best to get the right answers for you.

Please share this public blog post everywhere that you can. We need to look out form& take care of each other! Thank you for your time!

Lastly, here’s a link to a video by Jerrold Rand who seems to be the ringleader:

1: “Dr” J. Rand on Opiate use” at his Youtube channel called “Bay Recovery”

2: “Dr” J. Rand talks about Methadone on his Youtube channel

3: THIS ONE MAY UPSET YOU- if you’re fighting for your life-saving pain medication right now (just forewarning you): “Dr.” J. Rand’s patient talking about chronic pain etc. (On Youtube)

I hope that you will all just take this information and do what’s in your heart. I cannot honestly write here, that I know anything “for sure” about this quack! I’m writing an opinion piece (because we are all allowed to have our own personal feelings and opinions). But my opinion is that this guy and his 30+ Facebook groups, fake admins (possibly?) and several fake accounts, are frauds! I’m just sayin’—–check the one photo screenshot above especially!! The one that shows that his license was revoked in 2012!! Then look at the News story underneath that one! About him self-prescribing sleeping pills etc! Also, it appears from that News piece, that he somehow may have been responsible for a women’s death??

Sorry for the bad news! But I love you all with my whole heart & soul. I feel an inner tug at my heart to protect you in any way possible.

Anti-Opioid Zealots


I opened up facebook to see that a person who calls herself an “investigative reporter”; doesn’t actually have a clue about the subject for which she stands upon her soapbox and spews hate and prejudice! Her hate speeches, disdain, lack of knowledge & empathy for the chronic pain community are outrageous. She also states that she’s a pastors wife! Which in a stereotypical sense, should make her more kind, loving & empathetic (on the contrary). I’m definitely not a cold or callous person. I deeply care about others & especially my fellow chronic pain patients. But I pity her in her for the way she’s unable to get help for her grief. I’m terribly and deeply sorry for anyone who’s lost someone that they love to any kind of addiction. She lost an adult child to overdose of prescription opioids. She’s made it her fight in life now, to rid the world of the “evil narcotics”. Do you think she knows that the statistics prove that only 1-3% of prescription opioids ever result in overdose?Check out this new report from the Cato Institute

It’s the illicit fentanyl and Cara-fentanyl from Mexico & China that are the problem! It’s not legitimate chronic pain patients with legitimate prescriptions from licensed pain management physicians that are to blame for this manufactured “opioid crisis”. The opioids are only a tool. Just as guns, kitchen knives and cars are all tools. These tools don’t kill people any more than opioids “kill people”! There’s a genetic link to addiction. There’s also a distinct difference between addiction and being dependent physiologically to a medication that one has taken for several years to decades. With addiction, the addict must make a conscious decision to get the meds, tell lies, keeps secrets and physically take the increasing amounts of drugs to give them a “high” or a euphoric feeling! They ruminate look at the clock, just waiting for their next fix! Chronic pain patients, for the most part; were never given the “luxury” of a choice! Most are people living the rest of their lives with high amounts of ongoing daily chronic pain; with no end in sight! The average chronic Pain patient, is living a life sentence in agony through no fault of their own! Usually an unsuccessful surgery, freak accident or a motor vehicle accident. Today we have an “under & untreated pain crisis”, with suicides from pain mounting in numbers weekly. A very knowledgeable and vocal physician and chronic pain patient advocate, Dr Thomas Kline, MD, has kept a record of these rising number of suicides.

Chronic pain is in fact a disease; as explained in this article in Health Magazine (February 2016) and in many other news articles. It’s Origin is Neurological. Scientists now believe that one cause of chronic pain is a dysfunction of the nervous system & includes the misfiring of nerve signals long after an accident or injury. According to this article: http://amp.timeinc.net/health/health/condition-article/0,,20187942,00.html, Neurons (cells in the nervous system that communicate with each other) become overexcited and keep firing, even after the original cause (injury or illness, in some cases) has long since passed. The person receives persistent pain signals.

If I may be so bold as to speak for the majority of the chronic pain community, we are not insensitive or calloused persons. In fact, I’ve never met a more caring, empathetic group of citizens. We care very much that people have lost their family members to the disease of addiction. We grieve for their loss of lives and love.

But we are grieving too! We have had so many deaths due to either suicide, untreated or under treated chronic pain since the CDC Guidelines appeared in 2016. Read this: Article by Dr Jeffrey Singer MD, Cato Institute. Dr Singer states that, “patients have become the civilian casualties of the misguided policies addressing the opioid crisis.” These “guidelines”have somehow become “law” to the majority of anti-opioid zealots; along with many physicians and pharmacists!

I wrote to the CDC and if you look at their response to my letter here(*& in photo below) A Response letter sent to me, from Exec Secretary of CDC, they state that “the CDC Guidelines are not meant to be rule, regulation or law. It’s not intended to deny access to opioid pain medications as an option for pain management”. I also agree that nobody should be denied pain care. That these are just supposed to be nothing more than guidelines. They weren’t meant to become the Law!!

Now there are admissions of the over fabrication of statistics by the CDC. Also, the AMA has come out with their own resolutions to these Draconian CDC Guidelines. You can find what they’ve written in this article by The Pain News Network https://www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2018/11/14/ama-calls-for-misapplication-of-cdc-opioid-guideline-to-end

This person calls herself an investigative reporter. People like her feel that because they have an audience & a platform; that they can stand on their soapbox and spew misinformation and hatred due to unresolved feelings of loss and grief! But they are just plain wrong!

When I opened up Facebook to try and reason with her. To attempt to discuss and/or debate like adults; I found that her page was blocked from any comments or discussions. That’s when you know you’re on the side of light and good. When you’re willing to discuss hard subjects in a civilized manner. But when discussions are cut out and blocked; that’s when we know that a person just wants to pontificate and spew hate!

Lastly, I wanted to add that this person should be in violation of the ADA, for her written comments regarding Cindy Steinberg. She made derogatory remarks about Cindy, a very well known pain patient advocate and friend of mine! I don’t think she is allowed to say the things that she said about Cindy supposedly being “theatrical” because she used a cot in between her statements regarding the opioid hysteria. This reporter even went so far as to say that Cindy was “laying in her her cot while testifying to Congress.”! Gee, I saw the video and it sure appears that she’s sitting in a seat discussing the situation in an intelligent manner. Here is part of Cindy Steinberg’s message:

“In the near term, we can and must restore balance to opioid prescribing with depoliticized, rational and cleareyed recognition of the risks and benefits of these medications,” she said, according to her prepared remarks. “In the long term, we must invest in the discovery of new, effective, and safer options for people living with pain.”

What’s wrong with that message? How could any sane person find something incorrect or one-sided, with that direct quote”. On the contrary, Cindy spoke intelligently! She discussed ways to help end opioid hysteria and the under-treated/untreated pain crisis today!

Lastly, if this one-sided, so called “investigative reporter”, would share an ounce of the truth with her readers; she’d have not lied about Cindy “laying in a cot while testifying to Congress”. Cindy, as you can see from the video of her testimony, is sitting upright in a chair as she speaks to Congress. But would there have been a problem if she had been in a cot while testifying? NBC & this reporter could very well be violating the Americans with Disabilities Act? In what world is mocking a disabled person OK? Isn’t there an ADA law that calls for accommodating persons with a disability?

Below is a photo from a portion of the return response letter that I received from the Executive Secretary of the CDC:

Here are some great resources for those who are skeptical of my words here today:

  • ALSO: Here are a couple of articles written by the person being referred to in my article today:
  • Lastly, I just want to add (so that I an not accused of being a “mouthpiece” for the USPF) that I resigned from the US Pain Foundation in September 2018; after only 8 months as a Board Member & 3 1/2 years as a volunteer Ambassador. I was planning on staying to try and help them rebuild. But the moment that I felt my integrity was challenged, I resigned.
  • Protected: What Really Happened Between NPR, USPF and Me?


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