Fear Instead Of Trust


Hello Luvs,

Sorry I’ve been quiet for a little while. I recently went to get new hearing aids. I was so excited to get new ones after 10 + years with my old Rextons. I was awaiting new insurance after my husband retired.

I went to see the audiologist & afterwards she asked if I’d be willing to see the nurse practitioner. I agreed, & afterwards they told me that I needed a CT scan because my hearing had declined so much more on the right side. They set up an appointment with their ENT Dr., the day after we returned from visiting our daughter, son in law & grand babies. I was a bit curious as to WHY they were telling me to come the day after I got home? I would be in pain and exhausted. But it never entered my mind what I would find out next!

So, when we were in Texas, I got an email message telling me that my CT results were available in the hospital’s portal. I know there’s a disclaimer stating that “you can find out things about the gender of your baby, HIV or other illnesses, even cancer”. In other words, do not look if you don’t want to know until you’re sitting with a Doctor.

But I’ve been through a car accident, deafness, multiple chronic pain illnesses & approximately 9 surgeries just since that accident. I can handle it, right? It can’t be bad if they already put it in the portal…can it?

It’s not bad…. it’s worse than that. I’ve never been so terrified in my entire life! I don’t even know how to verbalize my fear this time. There’s no way around it. I can’t go over or under it. I am being forced to go through it. I’ve been diagnosed with a Cholesteatoma. If you see the #cholestatoma or #cholesteatomasucks on Instagram, it looks like a horror movie. I’m not kidding! It’s really terrifying and people get these horrible skull base surgeries. Facial nerves, worsening deafness and brains are involved.

I found out that I have to have my hair shaved on the right side above my ear. My mastoid bone is affected; as are the 3 bones needed for any hearing. My skull will be drilled and after a 3-4+ hour surgery and more pain on top of my full body RSD/CRPS & other high pain illnesses; it has a 50% chance of coming back!

Anyways, I’ll write another post after I process what will happen tomorrow morning 6-10-19. I’m seeing a skull base/neuro/ear surgeon at 8:30 am tomorrow/Monday morning. I’ll get my questions answered, I hope? Will he be kind and compassionate? Will he help my post-op pain?

I saw my pain Dr. this past Thursday. I also saw my GP this week. The GP was so kind and first time ever, she gave me a hug. My pain Dr has turned from Dr Jekyll to Mr. Hyde over the past year. I’ve never failed a drug test or run out of meds early! I’ve never done anything wrong, yet he’s treated me less than human now for months! Before he’d even accept me as a new patient; he ordered me to stop taking my “quick acting” pain medication. It was something I’d been taking for 13 years (*my former Dr. of 12 years had prescribed it, but then one day he just vanished. That’s when I was forced to find a new Dr.).

In July 2018; he told me he was stopping my long acting pain medication… “that day”! No tapering just stopping it! I did not cry or get upset but I asked “why”? He told me “it’s illegal now and if I help you, I won’t be able to help all of those other people “!

I got him to listen a tiny bit because I reminded him of my stroke and heart attack in the past. He decided to give me one more month. He then said in a nasty tone that he was doing that “to get me psychologically ready”! Really?? It has zero to do with my psychological status and everything to do with high impact chronic pain. Of course he “covered himself” by offering me a different, long acting medication that I cannot take because of issues with Gastroparesis & not being able to metabolize a long acting oral medication. My GI Dr wrote him a letter & told him just that! The pain doctor just said, “This is bullshit! His medical license isn’t any better than mine! If he wants you to have that pain medication, let him prescribe it”! Well, of course He’s a GI doctor and he can’t!

I had my other physicians telling me that “it was unethical for my pain Dr to taper me so quickly!” They said it should have been 10% lowered at a time! But nobody was there to save me and I had to accept it and try my best to move on & keep going. I did it myself when I was told to get off of the quick acting medication. My body physically did not feel well for awhile but I never once craved it or wanted it in my mind- not ever! Then I got off of that long acting medication and once again, I did it myself! You’d think my pain Dr would respect me just a little. But instead, he’s treated me in a demeaning, disrespectful manner ever since last year in March of 2018.

I told my pain doctor that I’m going to have to have this really scary skull surgery soon. That I’m seeing a neuro/skull base/ear surgeon. He was so cold, uncaring & horrible that I truly cannot believe he’s a physician! He told me that I shouldn’t behave like I’m “too afraid” or the surgeon may refuse to take my case! That’s insane if you ask me! What high impact chronic pain patient, headed for hair shaving, painful head surgery wouldn’t be afraid? I’m literally frozen with fear inside! But I’m strong, resilient and I’ve been a survivor through childhood abuse, horrible teen years with my kids, abusive marriages and a catastrophic car accident. Since the car accident, there have been 9 surgeries, 2 pacemakers and several metal screws and implants embedded into my body.

I can do this! Right? Can I do this? Do I have a choice? What did I do that’s so terrible in my life? I have tried my best to be a good person & to help others. I’ve been a Chemo-angel since 2005. I’ve written countless letters, made numerous videos and I’ve met with & spoken to legislators regarding this fake opioid crisis! This horrible and torturous pain crisis that’s killing innocent people everywhere.

Now comes the big question, what happens with my post-op pain care? My pain Dr told me if he was my anesthesiologist, he wouldn’t give after care post-op meds because of “risk for complications”! Gosh… I’ll bet if it was his skull being drilled, he’d be asking for some pain relief medication? He acted like I was getting a hangnail removed! Anyone else who I’ve told, says “oh my goodness, that sounds scary!”

So, my friends, here we are on the eve prior to the appointment when I’ll get all of my questions answered, I hope! What do I ask? How do I ask it? Will I be judged? Will I be too complicated and will he “run”? Will he really not help me just because I’m afraid? I’m not acting out hysterically. I’m not crying in front of the Drs. But I’m deeply scared and I’m having horror flick, bloody, stabbing nightmares! I don’t even know the surgery date as if this post. But I’m pretty sure I’ll know by the time most of you read this.

I promise to let you know when it will happen. If anything happens to me, please don’t forget me, OK? I love so many of you. I’ve seen so many of my friends in pain pass away over the past few years…it’s sad and I miss them a lot (Connie, Cyndi “Maw”, Theresa, Gwen Barbara, and Dawn Anderson most recently).

I’m not being morbid, I promise I’m just afraid. I feel less strong as I get older now. I’m 57 years old and was just looking forward to enjoying retirement with my soul-mate; my husband. He retired last June and we’ve had one thing after another come up. I’d really like to take a breath and enjoy some period of time in my life, for a change. We have 4 darling grandchildren. I just want to hug them, love them and enjoy them as much as possible. Will I ever get to do that now?

Oh…. & last but not least, I told my father about this upcoming surgery. I told him that “I wanted my mom more than ever right now” (she died in 2002). He told me that through her cancer etc., there were many times she “needed things“(he was telling me that I wasn’t there for her)! Well, I’ll just share with you all that I tried prior to my catastrophic car accident, to be there for her. I showed up at the hospital even after being told “she didn’t want me there”. I got there and I was told to leave. I was the only person allowed by the nurses, to sit with her in PRE-Op for 2 hours. We had 2 hours of alone time and it was once in my life that we got along & she wanted me around, it seemed? It was very nice, actually. But then the entire duration of the surgery, I was bullied, mocked, disrespected and literally treated like scum under a sink, by my Aunt, my 2 brothers and my dad.

Please pray for me so that I can be strong like I used to be and like I usually am. I need strength and . I’m terribly frightened tonight as my fate lies in the hands of a stranger that I will meet in 7 hours or so. I have heard & seen many horror stories of pain patients like me, being denied proper post-Op pain management. That fear is probably my biggest fear of all, or in the top 3!

Oh yes, I almost forgot to tell you what my Pain Doc said before I left his office on Thursday. He told me he was “OK with me getting the 3 days of post operative pain control from the surgeon”. He told me to “not accept the post-op meds if they just give me Tylenol with codeine, because that would be like a baby aspirin for me”!

In 2013, I had a full pectoral rebuild and new pacemaker. My cardiologist was wonderful to me! Things are so different now! Im feeling like the powers that be, the government just want persons like me to be gone and out of the way. But I’m still a human being. I want to live. I want to travel even a little. I want to be a grandmother.

I promise to write a quick post as soon as I process and know what’s happening & when the surgery will be.

Thank you in advance, for any and all prayers, positive thoughts & energy sent my way.

As I await my upcoming appointment I would love to be able to sleep. But when I’m really afraid, my GI tract takes over. It’s as though I’m on “auto pilot”. I get overwhelming stomach nausea and flu-like symptoms. THATS how fearful I am feeling. I’ve tried to control it but it’s a combination of PTSD, Dysautonomia & a highly over active “fight or flight response’.

In conclusion, I have a final request: Now is NOT the time to tell me a horror stories regarding any of your past head, skull or brain surgeries. When I recover, I promise…..then I will be glad to listen, help and share etc. Also, it’s such a shame in these days of crazy & draconian policies, that we all have fear instead of trust in the entire “system”.

Sending you love and light!

The Nightmares of Pain Refugees


Hello Luvs,

I was deeply touched by 2 stories that I’m about to share with you! I’d like to personally say “thank you” to Sheri Owen & Maria Higgenbothem. They are the 1st and then the 2nd chronic pain patients in the video below. I want to thank them for their bravery and their candidness.

Sheri had a level-7, spinal fusion and did not receive any pain care in the hospital after her surgery; outside of the normal regimen that she’s been on for years at home.

Secondly, we have Maria Higinbotham, who went on “Nightly news with Lester Holt and Kate Snow. What’s happening to the Chronic Pain community is torturous and wrong! It’s inhumane and I would’ve never thought this would be happening in the United States of America in 2019. It’s almost like the old practice of eugenics. As if they want us to be gone? So that we’re not a burden on society anymore? This is so morally wrong! Please go to http://www.Videoyourpain.com.

Share your pain story with our legislators, politicians, government, doctors, and pharmacists. Let’s share these painful stories with the world and command that this torture be stopped!

I’ve put the two videos together for your convenience and to CC for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing communities/audiences.

Also, I’d like to add that there are several advocates & groups who trying so hard to do all that they can to help the pain community! I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Here’s the link to the original “Nightly News” piece on NBC. (Lastly, there are two news media outlets that are listening to us. Fox News and NBC now have their ears and attention turned to the pain community. Let’s tell them everything that’s happening. Talk to Lester Holt, Kate Snow at NBC & Greg Gutfeld at Fox News. Go to Twitter and find them by putting their name in the search bar. Talk to them! Tell everyone you’re story of under treated and/or untreated pain. They are now listening and we need their help and their voices!

I’d like to say a special “thank you” to David Weiland for posting the video in CIAAG Facebook group.

Here’s the Link to the Facebook Page for “Nightly News” with Lester- NBC Holt

This is the “Chronic Illness & Awareness Advocacy Group (CIAAG) and Non-Profit .org 501(c)(3), Founded & run by Lauren DeLuca & Jayne Flanders: Here’s the link to “CIAAG” Chronic illness awareness and advocacy group on Facebook

Here is the online link to the CIAAG website at www.ciaag.net

Here also are the links to listen to Dr Kline, MD, at Jonelle Elgaway’s Show on Conspiracies Against Wellness Network (CAW): You Tube page for CAW

Here are the links to the C-50 states group page run by Valorie Hawk: Link to Coalition of State Leaders Group C-50

Please everyone try your best to come together and let’s fix this problem! Because it’s a huge problem, a national emergency and a humanitarian crisis.

Here are two more links to a couple of great videos about #1: several pain patients stories of torture: The Link to “Fight for Our Lives”, a short Video that I made regarding this opioid hysteria & untreated pain crisis and #2 is a video about Suboxone. Link to my video, ”Pain, Politics & Suboxone” (It’s a good drug if you’re an addict but has a very low analgesic effect on chronic pain. Not a good choice for persons living with chronic pain illnesses)

Thank you for reading and please share!

9 Pieces of ‘Health Advice’ It’s OK To Ignore if you Have Chronic Illness


Hello Luvs,

Well, I’m sure that you all have those friends &/or that family member who always has “advice” for your chronic illness? Don’t you just want to make them feel how you feel for about 30 minutes, at times? Let them feel the pain and suffer as you do, just for awhile? Better yet, don’t tell them that it’s only for 30 minutes! Let them think they’ll feel that way forever; for life! No end in sight just like you(us) and no cure! What if they thought they had to live with it forever? Do you think they’d be changed?

I get so tired of people giving advice, when they have absolutely no idea what it’s like to look pretty much “fine” on the outside; while feeling so much pain & fatigue.

9 Pieces of ‘Health Advice’ It’s OK to Ignore If You Have a Chronic Illness https://themighty.com/2018/12/bad-health-advice-chronic-illness/

Are Imposters Preying On Unsuspecting Patients In Our Pain Community Again?


Hello Luvs

Once again I’m so sorry to be giving the news regarding the possibility of imposters (or at the very least, these are persons who don’t have the best interest of our pain community in their hearts) infiltrating our pain community. Last I wrote about this subject, was a month ago, inside of several groups, to warn them! It was regarding the notorious “Kate Ashworth” aka “fake RSD/CRPS guru”(see article link below). She was back again; hurting unknowing chronic pain patients! Those affected, just happened to be persons who also live with the unbearable pain of RSD/CRPS. (To find out more about RSD/CRPS, please visit: For Real Facts & Information About RSD/CRPS, follow this link to RSDSA Home Page (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome Association)

*(To Read the article about the imposter,“Kate Ashworth”,who recently came back a second time & infiltrated the RSD/CRPS community; visit this link: This is the Link to the article about Kate Ashworth, an Imposter to the Chronic Pain Community) “Strangers Among Us”

On Tuesday night 3-6-29; I saw a message from a long time RSD/CRPS friend on Facebook. I saw the message very late in middle of the night and it was written by Mary Mattio, in a “closed & secret” Facebook support Group for RSD/CRPS. Posting with permission, this is what I read at approximately 11:30 pm:

I’ll show you everything that was written underneath. But first I want to say “thank you” to Mary Mattio for posting about this to the Facebook group, . When digging deeper, I’d like to say “thank you” also to Tracey Tipton-Morales & Marisa Gravett for their “detective work”, involvement and postings. But we need to all give a special thanks to Sarah Lesley, for being the first to figure out all of this mess which I’m going to try to explain. So thank you to everyone who’s been involved in getting the word out, sharing, reporting and blocking these alleged fakes.(I have to say “alleged” but I believe it is true, with my whole heart!)

This was the full post shared from Sarah Lesley & Marisa Gravett:

⚠️ ATTENTION CHRONIC PAIN COMMUNITY⚠️

* Shared from Sarah Lesley & Marisa Gravett *

Okay CRPS Community: If you are in the group “RSD/CRPS and Neuropathic Pain Syndrome” beware… This was brought to my attention this morning. One of the admins actually works for a treatment center that focuses on getting pain patients to stop talking about their pain, basically making it seem like it’s all in our heads. I just saw a YouTube video shared in a post on that page this morning of him doing a presentation about his research and recovery centers and how it focuses on getting pain patients to stop focusing on their pain and to be able to return to be active members of society again. Basically making it sound like we don’t really need medical care, treatment etc…

I am infuriated at some of the things that I have seen and found out. We believe that many of the admins are either fake or using fake names and or involved in depth with Dr. Rand and his treatment centers as one of his treatment centers is referred to as the Bay Area and the last name of many of the admins is Bay…

Think of this as a conspiracy theory if you wish but I have just seen with my own eyes a YouTube video by Dr. Rand speaking about these treatment centers and it is very clear that this group and possibly other groups that we may all be involved in with similar admins, maybe using the information that we give against us as research, or to turn it in to help with their research or so-called research.

It is clear that this group is not created to help others. Many of the members I am sure do their best to help many people in this group to share information to ask questions and I do not blame or think any of the members are involved except for the ones that are listed as admins.

If you are in this group you are advised to check it out for yourself and if you feel the same way to delete the posts that you have in that page as well as get out of it. Also I would advise all of us to take a better look at who the admins are in many of our groups if we do not know or have never checked it out. We need to do all we can to look out for ourselves and our fellow CRPS Warriors and if there is any chance that this group is not on the up-and-up or could be using our information for any purpose other than to help each other live a life with this horrendous evil monster of a disease, I want no part of it and I do not want any of you to as well.

I was originally going to tag everybody in the post within the group that I’m friends with but there are so many of you I ran out of room on a piece of paper writing your names. I’ll be tagging as many as it will allow. Please if you are a CRPS Warrior check out this group check out the information for yourself and be careful out there.

I urge you all to please report all the fake profiles & all the groups that the fake profiles created & are Admins of, it’s the only way we can get them shut down. This post is now public, please feel free to share. Marisa Gravett has additional information on this as well.

Look up Jerrod Rand on YouTube if you want to see for yourself. Be careful out their Warriors. We are finding way too many wolves in sheeps clothing within our community.

** BELOW ARE SCREENSHOTS OF THE ADMINS & A FEW OF THE GROUPS & PAGES THAT ARE LINKED TO THEM **

**BEFORE I REPORTED & BLOCKED THIS “JERROLD RAND” facebook account (whether someone is using his name, or it is truly this person; we don’t know yet?)- I FOUND THIS POST VERY INTERESTING & TELLING OF PROBLEMS ON/WITH THAT PAGE:

I wanted to add that we all need to be vigilant, but we cannot allow ourselves to overreact or get too upset over this. Though it is very upsetting, our main goal is to stay calm and get the “word out” to the RSD/CRPS & Pain Communities. If everyone who reads this can go and report each of these groups and the 5 accounts that appear to be for the sole purpose of “pushing” these 30 or so “support groups” on unknowing people in pain! If we all can do that, Facebook will be able to shut them down!

Please understand that I’m in no way condemning those who have joined these groups. It’s not their fault. It’s the admins (whoever they truly are??) of those groups who are to blame. They are violating our community and others. Once again, people had recently been asked to send in photos of their Rsd/CRPS affected limbs. People, please don’t send your photos to anyone who asks. If you’re friends with someone who you know & feel comfortable with; and you want to share a photo; go for it! But please, just a bit of advice from my heart: “please don’t send your personal medical photos to anyone who requests them from you”. Also, PLEASE don’t take any medical advice from anyone online. They could be impersonating anyone! Only take therapeutic, medical advice from your own personal medical professionals. The ones who know you and your personal mecical history.

Any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask: Sarah Lesley, Mary Mattio, Marisa Gravett, Tracey Tipton-Morales or you can ask me & I’ll do my best to get the right answers for you.

Please share this public blog post everywhere that you can. We need to look out form& take care of each other! Thank you for your time!

Lastly, here’s a link to a video by Jerrold Rand who seems to be the ringleader:

1: “Dr” J. Rand on Opiate use” at his Youtube channel called “Bay Recovery”

2: “Dr” J. Rand talks about Methadone on his Youtube channel

3: THIS ONE MAY UPSET YOU- if you’re fighting for your life-saving pain medication right now (just forewarning you): “Dr.” J. Rand’s patient talking about chronic pain etc. (On Youtube)

I hope that you will all just take this information and do what’s in your heart. I cannot honestly write here, that I know anything “for sure” about this quack! I’m writing an opinion piece (because we are all allowed to have our own personal feelings and opinions). But my opinion is that this guy and his 30+ Facebook groups, fake admins (possibly?) and several fake accounts, are frauds! I’m just sayin’—–check the one photo screenshot above especially!! The one that shows that his license was revoked in 2012!! Then look at the News story underneath that one! About him self-prescribing sleeping pills etc! Also, it appears from that News piece, that he somehow may have been responsible for a women’s death??

Sorry for the bad news! But I love you all with my whole heart & soul. I feel an inner tug at my heart to protect you in any way possible.

Anti-Opioid Zealots


I opened up facebook to see that a person who calls herself an “investigative reporter”; doesn’t actually have a clue about the subject for which she stands upon her soapbox and spews hate and prejudice! Her hate speeches, disdain, lack of knowledge & empathy for the chronic pain community are outrageous. She also states that she’s a pastors wife! Which in a stereotypical sense, should make her more kind, loving & empathetic (on the contrary). I’m definitely not a cold or callous person. I deeply care about others & especially my fellow chronic pain patients. But I pity her in her for the way she’s unable to get help for her grief. I’m terribly and deeply sorry for anyone who’s lost someone that they love to any kind of addiction. She lost an adult child to overdose of prescription opioids. She’s made it her fight in life now, to rid the world of the “evil narcotics”. Do you think she knows that the statistics prove that only 1-3% of prescription opioids ever result in overdose?Check out this new report from the Cato Institute

It’s the illicit fentanyl and Cara-fentanyl from Mexico & China that are the problem! It’s not legitimate chronic pain patients with legitimate prescriptions from licensed pain management physicians that are to blame for this manufactured “opioid crisis”. The opioids are only a tool. Just as guns, kitchen knives and cars are all tools. These tools don’t kill people any more than opioids “kill people”! There’s a genetic link to addiction. There’s also a distinct difference between addiction and being dependent physiologically to a medication that one has taken for several years to decades. With addiction, the addict must make a conscious decision to get the meds, tell lies, keeps secrets and physically take the increasing amounts of drugs to give them a “high” or a euphoric feeling! They ruminate look at the clock, just waiting for their next fix! Chronic pain patients, for the most part; were never given the “luxury” of a choice! Most are people living the rest of their lives with high amounts of ongoing daily chronic pain; with no end in sight! The average chronic Pain patient, is living a life sentence in agony through no fault of their own! Usually an unsuccessful surgery, freak accident or a motor vehicle accident. Today we have an “under & untreated pain crisis”, with suicides from pain mounting in numbers weekly. A very knowledgeable and vocal physician and chronic pain patient advocate, Dr Thomas Kline, MD, has kept a record of these rising number of suicides.

Chronic pain is in fact a disease; as explained in this article in Health Magazine (February 2016) and in many other news articles. It’s Origin is Neurological. Scientists now believe that one cause of chronic pain is a dysfunction of the nervous system & includes the misfiring of nerve signals long after an accident or injury. According to this article: http://amp.timeinc.net/health/health/condition-article/0,,20187942,00.html, Neurons (cells in the nervous system that communicate with each other) become overexcited and keep firing, even after the original cause (injury or illness, in some cases) has long since passed. The person receives persistent pain signals.

If I may be so bold as to speak for the majority of the chronic pain community, we are not insensitive or calloused persons. In fact, I’ve never met a more caring, empathetic group of citizens. We care very much that people have lost their family members to the disease of addiction. We grieve for their loss of lives and love.

But we are grieving too! We have had so many deaths due to either suicide, untreated or under treated chronic pain since the CDC Guidelines appeared in 2016. Read this: Article by Dr Jeffrey Singer MD, Cato Institute. Dr Singer states that, “patients have become the civilian casualties of the misguided policies addressing the opioid crisis.” These “guidelines”have somehow become “law” to the majority of anti-opioid zealots; along with many physicians and pharmacists!

I wrote to the CDC and if you look at their response to my letter here(*& in photo below) A Response letter sent to me, from Exec Secretary of CDC, they state that “the CDC Guidelines are not meant to be rule, regulation or law. It’s not intended to deny access to opioid pain medications as an option for pain management”. I also agree that nobody should be denied pain care. That these are just supposed to be nothing more than guidelines. They weren’t meant to become the Law!!

Now there are admissions of the over fabrication of statistics by the CDC. Also, the AMA has come out with their own resolutions to these Draconian CDC Guidelines. You can find what they’ve written in this article by The Pain News Network https://www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2018/11/14/ama-calls-for-misapplication-of-cdc-opioid-guideline-to-end

This person calls herself an investigative reporter. People like her feel that because they have an audience & a platform; that they can stand on their soapbox and spew misinformation and hatred due to unresolved feelings of loss and grief! But they are just plain wrong!

When I opened up Facebook to try and reason with her. To attempt to discuss and/or debate like adults; I found that her page was blocked from any comments or discussions. That’s when you know you’re on the side of light and good. When you’re willing to discuss hard subjects in a civilized manner. But when discussions are cut out and blocked; that’s when we know that a person just wants to pontificate and spew hate!

Lastly, I wanted to add that this person should be in violation of the ADA, for her written comments regarding Cindy Steinberg. She made derogatory remarks about Cindy, a very well known pain patient advocate and friend of mine! I don’t think she is allowed to say the things that she said about Cindy supposedly being “theatrical” because she used a cot in between her statements regarding the opioid hysteria. This reporter even went so far as to say that Cindy was “laying in her her cot while testifying to Congress.”! Gee, I saw the video and it sure appears that she’s sitting in a seat discussing the situation in an intelligent manner. Here is part of Cindy Steinberg’s message:

“In the near term, we can and must restore balance to opioid prescribing with depoliticized, rational and cleareyed recognition of the risks and benefits of these medications,” she said, according to her prepared remarks. “In the long term, we must invest in the discovery of new, effective, and safer options for people living with pain.”

What’s wrong with that message? How could any sane person find something incorrect or one-sided, with that direct quote”. On the contrary, Cindy spoke intelligently! She discussed ways to help end opioid hysteria and the under-treated/untreated pain crisis today!

Lastly, if this one-sided, so called “investigative reporter”, would share an ounce of the truth with her readers; she’d have not lied about Cindy “laying in a cot while testifying to Congress”. Cindy, as you can see from the video of her testimony, is sitting upright in a chair as she speaks to Congress. But would there have been a problem if she had been in a cot while testifying? NBC & this reporter could very well be violating the Americans with Disabilities Act? In what world is mocking a disabled person OK? Isn’t there an ADA law that calls for accommodating persons with a disability?

Below is a photo from a portion of the return response letter that I received from the Executive Secretary of the CDC:

Here are some great resources for those who are skeptical of my words here today:

  • ALSO: Here are a couple of articles written by the person being referred to in my article today:
  • Lastly, I just want to add (so that I an not accused of being a “mouthpiece” for the USPF) that I resigned from the US Pain Foundation in September 2018; after only 8 months as a Board Member & 3 1/2 years as a volunteer Ambassador. I was planning on staying to try and help them rebuild. But the moment that I felt my integrity was challenged, I resigned.
  • Part of Two Worlds


    Hello Luvs,

    Many of my “regular” readers may remember that I am “Hard of hearing”. Hearing people usually use the term “hearing impaired”. We prefer to be called “Hard of hearing”. Mostly because we don’t feel that we are broken or “impaired”. Technically it means that Im not totally deaf. I can hear various pitches, frequencies and sounds. With my hearing aids in, I can hear a bit more of the letters and words in normal conversation. But add in background noise and people who mumble or talk very fast. Next, add the situation of trying to “listen” to several people at once, in a crowded room or restaurant? Lastly, there are those with facial hair all around their mouth and lips. They are the group for me, who have the most frustrating lips to read! Then again, it’s not really like “reading”. Because it’s more like piecing together bits and pieces then trying to “fill in the missing pieces”.

    In case you’re not familiar with my hearing loss journey; I’ll recap just a little bit for you. When I was a child, I had recurring ear infections. During those times, I could often be found literally rocking my body back & forth, while curled up in the fetal position. My memories start as young as age 4 or 5. It was always pure hell while I was living with horrible ear infections. When I complained to my parents about the excruciating 😖 throbbing Pain in my ear (or ears), my mother would always say same thing. She’d tell me “Once your eardrum ruptures, the pressure will go away and you will feel better!” Well, I did feel better, but each time that happened it caused scar tissue to form in my ear drums. It also caused mild hearing loss as I was growing up. I remember asking the teachers if I could sit closer to the board to try and hear them better. Therefore my audiologist (in 2002) & ENT Dr. felt that I’ve had mild hearing loss since I was a child. I had tubes put in my ears when I was about 9 years old. They were surgically placed multiple times and for several years.

    Later in 2002, I was a passenger in a car driven by my husband. We were just driving along through a green light when we were hit by a car running through a red light. It was considered a “catastrophic accident”. I acquired a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and had multiple injuries and 9 surgeries. I went to brain injury rehab for 3 years & had 9 years of PT/OT, balance therapy and speech therapy. I acquired a pacemaker, glasses with prisms (for lowered vision), 2 screws in my left shoulder and 2 hearing aids. I also got a wheelchair, a seated wheeled walker, a motorized scooter, loft strand crutches, a cane and several other helping aides for activities of daily living.

    I won’t bore you with all of the chronic pain illnesses that came out of that accident. That’s not what this post is all about. But I also acquired a bi-lateral sensory neural moderate/severe hearing loss in both of my ears L>R. Along with the many medical issues, I also acquired lower vision. I saw a Neuro-Othamoligist, who put prisms in my glasses to try and correct some of it. The prisms really bothered me. Today I just have a very strong prescription for eye glasses. Everything has a bit of a halo effect.

    It’s ironic and very awesome that prior to that MVA (motor vehicle accident), I had been an ASL Interpreter. I worked at a Deaf preschool and then I interpreted for a school district. In the end, I was a medical Interpreter at a University hospital. I even did volunteer work doing medical interpreting for Deaf/Blind at free medical screening events. I had gone through a 4 year SLS/Interpreting program and finished with a 3.8 gpa.

    Back in the 1980’s when I went to college, I practically lived at the dorms with my 16 Deaf friends. We watched CC “General Hospital” daily at 3:00 pm. We even tried to schedule our classes around it! It was a social hour. I’d been learning ASL since age 11 & even “tested out” of the first fingerspelling class.

    The Deaf community accepted me and they were kind to me. At that time I went to Deaf bowling every Thursday with DAD club. I had a Deaf boyfriend whose sister was a cheerleader at MSD & we went to all of the football games and even the homecoming dance! Me and my group of college friends, who happened to be Deaf, used to go out dancing on Friday nights. One time my friends & I were on our way to a dance club and we got pulled over for a slight bit of speeding. We were all packed in the back of a mini van signing with each other. One of my friends told me to “talk to the officer”. I was terrified and I told him “No way! I’m afraid! Since I’m with you guys, I don’t want to talk to him either!” We all laughed as the officer just let us go with a handwritten warning on a piece of paper. That was a fun and I felt included.

    Just to back track a little, I started learning ASL at age 11. My best friend & I babysat for a Deaf family who lived next door to her. The parents and 6 children were Deaf. The children went to the Lutheran School for Deaf at that time! They included me in many Deaf social activities and I learned the language & received my sign name from them. First we played games and I learned colors, numbers, family signs, days of week and more!

    I’ve always felt accepted by the Deaf community. I always respected the language, ASL. How ironic then, that I lost a moderate-severe percentage of my hearing & was already prepared with the tools I needed!

    I’ve lost touch with some of my old friends from DAD (Deaf Association of Detroit). But I still have a some close friends from the past, who are Deaf. I still feel a part of the community. I’d like to become even more involved again! But living with several high pain chronic illnesses makes it difficult to get out due to persistent pain.

    I’ve found my own ways to reconnect and to feel not so “in-between” two worlds. I get to teach ASL vocabulary with the Deaf Socials on their Instagram and Facebook pages. I love & look forward to each new vocabulary list they give to me for teaching! I truly enjoy doing that and doing song covers to ASL on my Youtube channel: My YouTube channel at: ASLSuzyQ . I also post to my Instagram A link to my ASL Instagram and Twitter A link to my ASL Twitter with the same name. I do this for fun and as a volunteer and advocate for Deaf Awareness.

    Lastly, I used to love being a part of two ASL performance groups during the 80’s, when I lived in Arizona & worked at a Deaf preschool. One group was called “Silent Impressions productions”. We performed in choreography and ASL to broadway show tunes and in costumes! We put in shows at ASU and it was so much fun! The other group to which I belonged, was called “Silent Praise”. We performed Christian songs while others did lyrical dances. We did that at the ASU Neumann center. It was such a fun time in my life. My friends and I also interpreted for our church community at St. Theresa’s Catholic Church in Scottsdale, AZ.

    After reminiscing in this post, I feel so grateful that I had already been involved with the Deaf community & had many years of experience with ASL, before I became Hard of Hearing. As ironic as it seems, it’s not all that crazy. I had a mild hearing loss and then it worsened due to the TBI.

    I mostly seem to write about chronic pain illnesses. I’ve been writing about the rights of chronic pain patients to have access to much needed opioid pain medications. We need these medications because without them, people like me wouldn’t even be able to do the small amount of activities that we try to do. I was forcibly tapered from my long acting pain meds after doing pretty well on them for almost 14 years! Now I sit in my recliner for approximately16 hours daily. I try to get up, put I make up and do some online activities every few days. But my life is not the same with so much less help for the pain.

    Although I still want to continue advocating in that area, I’m doing more & more advocating for Deaf awareness, inclusion and preservation of ASL. I thought I’d put my hearing loss story and ASL history here in my blog too. I’ve written a few posts about Deafness and trying to live in “two worlds”. But I’ve never explained the details of how I became who I am today. I’m a survivor of long time childhood abuse, domestic violence and then a catastrophic car accident. I’m not a “victim” but I am a “fighter and a survivor”! Don’t ever give up!!

    I have a Facebook page at: Link to my ASLSUZYQ Facebook page

    I have a Facebook group called “ASLExpress” at:Link to join Facebook group ASL Express

    Lastly, I have an ASL group for allowing people to post ASL covers in a safe place, called “ASL Song” at: Link to ASL Song Facebook group

    “Silent Impressions Productions” & I’m 2nd left
    Me Interpreting at church before MVA
    Me Interpreting a Song in “Silent Praise@ group

    Me working at Deaf preschool
    I was in newspaper when I taught elementary kids

    My hearing aids

    Fight For Our Lives


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    Hello Luvs,

    Here is a video that has taken me awhile to get out. I asked for submissions from every chronic pain patient on LinkedIn, 3 Instagram accounts, 3 Twitter aaccounts, 5 Facebook pages and 5 or 6 Facebook groups. I requested video submissions many times during November 0f 2018. I received a total of 8 videos. I waited to produce and edit this video until this week.  It is the First week of February 2019 and the video was posted today 2-7-19. I added the closed captions for other Deaf/Hard of Hearing persons like myself.

    Please watch this  video on YOUTube and make comments. Share this video on Twitter to our POTUS and to the FLOTUS. Please share it to Fox News, Greg Guttfield and any other news, media or government agencies where you think someone may be able to help us. Please share, share and share. We need someone to see us, hear our stories and believe in helping 100 million chronic pain patients.  There are about 26 million who depended on Opioid prescription pain medications and now they are mostly unable to obtain any relief whatsoever. Thank you for watching and for sharing this video far and wide.

    This video is not affiliated with any group or organization. This was totally my idea and I requested, received, produced and edited this video on my own. These ladies are brave and I’m so thankful and grateful for their pleas and their stories. Thank you again! Have a wonderful day!  If you just click on the link below (it is a safe link, I promise), it will take you directlly to the YOUTube video that I uploaded. If you prefer to visit it yourself without clicking on the link, here is the URL:

    or click the link below

    (**IF YOU NEED CC FOR DEAF/HOH, PLEASE USE THE BLUE LINK AND GO TO THE YOUTUBE VIDEO WHERE I’VE PUT THE CC JUST FOR THOSE OF US WITH HEARING LOSS):

    Fight for our LIves -Full Video Here