The Nightmares of Pain Refugees


Hello Luvs,

I was deeply touched by 2 stories that I’m about to share with you! I’d like to personally say “thank you” to Sheri Owen & Maria Higgenbothem. They are the 1st and then the 2nd chronic pain patients in the video below. I want to thank them for their bravery and their candidness.

Sheri had a level-7, spinal fusion and did not receive any pain care in the hospital after her surgery; outside of the normal regimen that she’s been on for years at home.

Secondly, we have Maria Higinbotham, who went on “Nightly news with Lester Holt and Kate Snow. What’s happening to the Chronic Pain community is torturous and wrong! It’s inhumane and I would’ve never thought this would be happening in the United States of America in 2019. It’s almost like the old practice of eugenics. As if they want us to be gone? So that we’re not a burden on society anymore? This is so morally wrong! Please go to http://www.Videoyourpain.com.

Share your pain story with our legislators, politicians, government, doctors, and pharmacists. Let’s share these painful stories with the world and command that this torture be stopped!

I’ve put the two videos together for your convenience and to CC for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing communities/audiences.

Also, I’d like to add that there are several advocates & groups who trying so hard to do all that they can to help the pain community! I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Here’s the link to the original “Nightly News” piece on NBC. (Lastly, there are two news media outlets that are listening to us. Fox News and NBC now have their ears and attention turned to the pain community. Let’s tell them everything that’s happening. Talk to Lester Holt, Kate Snow at NBC & Greg Gutfeld at Fox News. Go to Twitter and find them by putting their name in the search bar. Talk to them! Tell everyone you’re story of under treated and/or untreated pain. They are now listening and we need their help and their voices!

I’d like to say a special “thank you” to David Weiland for posting the video in CIAAG Facebook group.

Here’s the Link to the Facebook Page for “Nightly News” with Lester- NBC Holt

This is the “Chronic Illness & Awareness Advocacy Group (CIAAG) and Non-Profit .org 501(c)(3), Founded & run by Lauren DeLuca & Jayne Flanders: Here’s the link to “CIAAG” Chronic illness awareness and advocacy group on Facebook

Here is the online link to the CIAAG website at www.ciaag.net

Here also are the links to listen to Dr Kline, MD, at Jonelle Elgaway’s Show on Conspiracies Against Wellness Network (CAW): You Tube page for CAW

Here are the links to the C-50 states group page run by Valorie Hawk: Link to Coalition of State Leaders Group C-50

Please everyone try your best to come together and let’s fix this problem! Because it’s a huge problem, a national emergency and a humanitarian crisis.

Here are two more links to a couple of great videos about #1: several pain patients stories of torture: The Link to “Fight for Our Lives”, a short Video that I made regarding this opioid hysteria & untreated pain crisis and #2 is a video about Suboxone. Link to my video, ”Pain, Politics & Suboxone” (It’s a good drug if you’re an addict but has a very low analgesic effect on chronic pain. Not a good choice for persons living with chronic pain illnesses)

Thank you for reading and please share!

Are Imposters Preying On Unsuspecting Patients In Our Pain Community Again?


Hello Luvs

Once again I’m so sorry to be giving the news regarding the possibility of imposters (or at the very least, these are persons who don’t have the best interest of our pain community in their hearts) infiltrating our pain community. Last I wrote about this subject, was a month ago, inside of several groups, to warn them! It was regarding the notorious “Kate Ashworth” aka “fake RSD/CRPS guru”(see article link below). She was back again; hurting unknowing chronic pain patients! Those affected, just happened to be persons who also live with the unbearable pain of RSD/CRPS. (To find out more about RSD/CRPS, please visit: For Real Facts & Information About RSD/CRPS, follow this link to RSDSA Home Page (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome Association)

*(To Read the article about the imposter,“Kate Ashworth”,who recently came back a second time & infiltrated the RSD/CRPS community; visit this link: This is the Link to the article about Kate Ashworth, an Imposter to the Chronic Pain Community) “Strangers Among Us”

On Tuesday night 3-6-29; I saw a message from a long time RSD/CRPS friend on Facebook. I saw the message very late in middle of the night and it was written by Mary Mattio, in a “closed & secret” Facebook support Group for RSD/CRPS. Posting with permission, this is what I read at approximately 11:30 pm:

I’ll show you everything that was written underneath. But first I want to say “thank you” to Mary Mattio for posting about this to the Facebook group, . When digging deeper, I’d like to say “thank you” also to Tracey Tipton-Morales & Marisa Gravett for their “detective work”, involvement and postings. But we need to all give a special thanks to Sarah Lesley, for being the first to figure out all of this mess which I’m going to try to explain. So thank you to everyone who’s been involved in getting the word out, sharing, reporting and blocking these alleged fakes.(I have to say “alleged” but I believe it is true, with my whole heart!)

This was the full post shared from Sarah Lesley & Marisa Gravett:

⚠️ ATTENTION CHRONIC PAIN COMMUNITY⚠️

* Shared from Sarah Lesley & Marisa Gravett *

Okay CRPS Community: If you are in the group “RSD/CRPS and Neuropathic Pain Syndrome” beware… This was brought to my attention this morning. One of the admins actually works for a treatment center that focuses on getting pain patients to stop talking about their pain, basically making it seem like it’s all in our heads. I just saw a YouTube video shared in a post on that page this morning of him doing a presentation about his research and recovery centers and how it focuses on getting pain patients to stop focusing on their pain and to be able to return to be active members of society again. Basically making it sound like we don’t really need medical care, treatment etc…

I am infuriated at some of the things that I have seen and found out. We believe that many of the admins are either fake or using fake names and or involved in depth with Dr. Rand and his treatment centers as one of his treatment centers is referred to as the Bay Area and the last name of many of the admins is Bay…

Think of this as a conspiracy theory if you wish but I have just seen with my own eyes a YouTube video by Dr. Rand speaking about these treatment centers and it is very clear that this group and possibly other groups that we may all be involved in with similar admins, maybe using the information that we give against us as research, or to turn it in to help with their research or so-called research.

It is clear that this group is not created to help others. Many of the members I am sure do their best to help many people in this group to share information to ask questions and I do not blame or think any of the members are involved except for the ones that are listed as admins.

If you are in this group you are advised to check it out for yourself and if you feel the same way to delete the posts that you have in that page as well as get out of it. Also I would advise all of us to take a better look at who the admins are in many of our groups if we do not know or have never checked it out. We need to do all we can to look out for ourselves and our fellow CRPS Warriors and if there is any chance that this group is not on the up-and-up or could be using our information for any purpose other than to help each other live a life with this horrendous evil monster of a disease, I want no part of it and I do not want any of you to as well.

I was originally going to tag everybody in the post within the group that I’m friends with but there are so many of you I ran out of room on a piece of paper writing your names. I’ll be tagging as many as it will allow. Please if you are a CRPS Warrior check out this group check out the information for yourself and be careful out there.

I urge you all to please report all the fake profiles & all the groups that the fake profiles created & are Admins of, it’s the only way we can get them shut down. This post is now public, please feel free to share. Marisa Gravett has additional information on this as well.

Look up Jerrod Rand on YouTube if you want to see for yourself. Be careful out their Warriors. We are finding way too many wolves in sheeps clothing within our community.

** BELOW ARE SCREENSHOTS OF THE ADMINS & A FEW OF THE GROUPS & PAGES THAT ARE LINKED TO THEM **

**BEFORE I REPORTED & BLOCKED THIS “JERROLD RAND” facebook account (whether someone is using his name, or it is truly this person; we don’t know yet?)- I FOUND THIS POST VERY INTERESTING & TELLING OF PROBLEMS ON/WITH THAT PAGE:

I wanted to add that we all need to be vigilant, but we cannot allow ourselves to overreact or get too upset over this. Though it is very upsetting, our main goal is to stay calm and get the “word out” to the RSD/CRPS & Pain Communities. If everyone who reads this can go and report each of these groups and the 5 accounts that appear to be for the sole purpose of “pushing” these 30 or so “support groups” on unknowing people in pain! If we all can do that, Facebook will be able to shut them down!

Please understand that I’m in no way condemning those who have joined these groups. It’s not their fault. It’s the admins (whoever they truly are??) of those groups who are to blame. They are violating our community and others. Once again, people had recently been asked to send in photos of their Rsd/CRPS affected limbs. People, please don’t send your photos to anyone who asks. If you’re friends with someone who you know & feel comfortable with; and you want to share a photo; go for it! But please, just a bit of advice from my heart: “please don’t send your personal medical photos to anyone who requests them from you”. Also, PLEASE don’t take any medical advice from anyone online. They could be impersonating anyone! Only take therapeutic, medical advice from your own personal medical professionals. The ones who know you and your personal mecical history.

Any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask: Sarah Lesley, Mary Mattio, Marisa Gravett, Tracey Tipton-Morales or you can ask me & I’ll do my best to get the right answers for you.

Please share this public blog post everywhere that you can. We need to look out form& take care of each other! Thank you for your time!

Lastly, here’s a link to a video by Jerrold Rand who seems to be the ringleader:

1: “Dr” J. Rand on Opiate use” at his Youtube channel called “Bay Recovery”

2: “Dr” J. Rand talks about Methadone on his Youtube channel

3: THIS ONE MAY UPSET YOU- if you’re fighting for your life-saving pain medication right now (just forewarning you): “Dr.” J. Rand’s patient talking about chronic pain etc. (On Youtube)

I hope that you will all just take this information and do what’s in your heart. I cannot honestly write here, that I know anything “for sure” about this quack! I’m writing an opinion piece (because we are all allowed to have our own personal feelings and opinions). But my opinion is that this guy and his 30+ Facebook groups, fake admins (possibly?) and several fake accounts, are frauds! I’m just sayin’—–check the one photo screenshot above especially!! The one that shows that his license was revoked in 2012!! Then look at the News story underneath that one! About him self-prescribing sleeping pills etc! Also, it appears from that News piece, that he somehow may have been responsible for a women’s death??

Sorry for the bad news! But I love you all with my whole heart & soul. I feel an inner tug at my heart to protect you in any way possible.

Please send Your comments Re: HHS Draft for Pain Best Practices


Hello Luvs,

I just wanted give my readers a little “nudge” & remind you all to visit the The HHS Task Force online, which has provided a 90 day public comment period (ending April 1st,2019)

Click here to post your comments re: the HHS Draft for Best Practices (90 day comment period)

****In the Search Box, put these words so you’ll get to the correct place for commenting: HHS Draft for Best Practices.

I implore you to send in your comments. This is our chance to have our voices heard. Please go to the above link, in order to have your voice heard regarding the Draft Report to HHS. * my comments are copied & pasted for you below.

There are three different ways that you can send in your comments regarding this Draft report:

**When you write, email or post your messages regarding the Draft Report, please refer to this Docket Number:HHS-OS-2018-0027

How to Submit Comments:

1) Visit this Federal Portal at: http://www.regulations.gov

 2). Or you may Email topaintaskforce@hhs.gov

3) or use USPS and you may Mail written comments to:

U.S. Department of Health and Human ServicesOffice of the Assistant Secretary for Health200 Independence Avenue, S.W., Room 736E,Attn: Alicia Richmond Scott, Task Force Designated Federal OfficerWashington, DC 20201

These are my thoughts. I will be condensing them into being my comments to the HHS Best Practices (again, comment period goes until April 1,2019:

  • I agree with the “individualized patient centered care”. But allow the Dr./Patient relationship to the determine treatments. But don’t allow the government, pharmacists/pharmacies, to override the treatment, including type, class & dosage of pain medications. Pain management Drs. went through, in many cases; 14-15 years of extra education. They know more about what’s best for the patients.
  • Opioids taken as prescribed, have less harsh & lasting side-effects than many other medications that are prescribed freely for patients today (such as Bupenorphrine, Suboxone)
  • 1) Many medications can cause death, if an overdose occurs.  2) Many medications can cause physical dependence, including heart, blood pressure and even insulin.
  • Pain Medications shouldn’t be decided on by what illness(es) a patient is living with. Pain is subjective and the CDC, in their 2012 response to Andrew Kolodny, stated that there was no research to prove that there’s any difference between cancer and non-cancer pain. Mr. Kolodny was trying to say that cancer pain was the only worst pain. There are a number of illnesses nicknamed “the suicide disease”,( including: RSD/CRPS, A.S., T.M. & others). People with comorbid highly painful conditions, should not be lumped & labeled as a sum of their illnesses. Everyone metabolizes differently. Some people may do well on a certain medication, while it makes others desperately more ill (due to the horrible side effects).
  • Nothing should ever be dictated “across the board” . Never should one rule be applied to 100 million chronic pain Patients. Some people living with illnesses such as Ehlers Danlos syndrome, for example; don’t metabolize medication like most other people do. They may need a much higher dosage than what the recommended ceiling of 90MME allows. By the way, when did recommended become law?
  • The CDC Guidelines were supposed to be just recommendations for General practitioners. But not even a year later, pain management Drs started being hassled by the DEA & other government & law enforcement officials. In 2018, they turned into “laws”. In many cases, good Drs. Have been losing their livelihood, their entire life’s work, because the DEA thinks that they had too many pain patients taking higher doses of opioids! It’s normal that Pain clinics would have a much higher number of people taking higher dosages of opioids.
  • Many persons who are living with several lifelong chronic painful illnesses, do not wish to have: massage, Reike, acupuncture or anything involving touching. People for example with CRPS, (systemic especially), cannot bear the pain of touching like this.
  • Many of those who live with horribly painful Rheumatoid disease, Neuropathies, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome & others, may get worse from doing things like Yoga, Tai Chi and even PT. (I had 9 years of PT & it made me worse & not better,many times)
  • Meditation most often doesn’t work well for the patients living with anxiety &/or PTSD, for example. *If it does help a little; it still does not lower high amounts of pain for the rest of someones life. Not enough to give someone their life back after a catasrophic painful event.
  • Why should anyone be forced to get an invasive surgery over taking a simple oral pill? Again, any medication is dangerous if taken incorrectly or by a person other than the intended patient. Therefore demonizing only opioids makes no sense.
  • Many persons aren’t candidates for the SCS and/or intra-thecal pain pumps. Many living with several painful illnesses have also compromised immune systems (CVID +others).
  • It appears that nobody on this HHS task force lives with chronic pain, in high amounts, due to lifelong, high pain chronic illnesses? Because they should know that no amount of meditation, injections or tai chi, would end ongoing continuous life long chronic pain!
  • *meditation, music therapy and aqua therapy may help to lessen pain for a short period of time (**if the patient doesn’t have an aversion to being in water or have open sores due to secondary illnesses)
  • As you can see, there’s no one fix for everyone. Mostly because we are individuals who must have individualized care. Nobody should be putting one group of persons with physical chronic pain or PTSD, ahead of another group of survivors. You don’t know what horrors anyone has been through. A soldiers PTSD may be horrific. Also horrific may a grown up’s PTSD. Someone who had lived a life of horrors in their own home (which should’ve been a safe place), at the hands of abusive family members.
  • Please don’t prescribe dosage limits “across the board” for everyone. That’s not keeping with the physicians code of ethics “to do no harm”!
  • Don’t pick & choose what medication or dosage by each illness or condition. Some medications work for one person and don’t help others
  • Give the physician back their right(after years and years of education & experiences) to diagnose and treat people with ongoing lifelong pain. Keep the Dr/patient relationships together, without intrusion or interruption in patient care!
  • Please keep in mind that chronic pain does not = addiction.! Just because someone needs opioids to help high amounts of pain (*that will most often, never go away), does not make them an addict. It shouldn’t give them the label of “substance use disorder” either!
  • Do Not make the Hippa privacy laws a joke or obsolete. Confidentiality matters! In order to have any confidence in your health care team, you must trust them. What I’m saying is that the police departments and other employees of the government or anywhere, should NOT BE GIVEN ACCESS TO THE MAPS*! The MAPS are already invasive enough without giving access to everyone!

There are a few good parts to the draft:

  • The suggestion to treat each patient on an individual, patient by patient basis.
  • Stop raiding innocent Drs offices.
  • Stop taking physicians livelihood/careers away because someone at the top of the ladder at the HHS, CDC or elsewhere; lost a brother, mother or best friend, to opioid abuse &/or addiction, that ended with a death, loss and then turned into bitterness!
  • Give more hours of education in pain management to medical students

Lastly, opioids are a safe, effective and an inexpensive way to treat lifelong chronic pain, for many patients in this category. They help & work for so many! Especially legacy patients with multiple high pain comorbidities, depend on opioids to have some semblance of life. I know, because it happened to me and I lost my LA/ER pain medications in Sept 2018. I have a much less full life now.

The PTSD, that chronic pain patients are living with after being legacy patients who had been doing well taking opioids for a decade or two or three, is a nightmare! People are becoming a shell of their former selves. Persons with multiple & painful comorbidities, who were able to possibly do a job, be a mother, father, caregiver or grandmother, while taking opioids (*also btw, never getting high from their opioids!); are doomed to live a half-life in bed or a recliner forever. Many are committing suicide.

I read some nasty comments on an article recently (I’ll look for that article. Sorry, I can’t remember where I saw it, but I will find it and post for you asap). There were comments from a person who lost someone to an opioid overdose/addiction. She said she was  “tired” of hearing about pain patients contemplating suicide. Tired of seeing where chronic pain patients have written in whining that “if they don’t get their pain meds back they will kill themselves”. Well, I pity that lady because she’s obviously never gone through anything that involves long term, never ending high amounts of chronic pain. The chronic pain population needs to know that there is hope. Because someone doesn’t contemplate suicide, where there is “Hope”. So someone please tell that woman to “chill out” and to “be kind”. Also, tell her not to cut down, put down, belittle or be insidious about life long, never ending, high amounts of daily chronic pain.  Unless she is in my shoes/our shoes, our wheelchairs, walkers, crutchs, braces and motorized scooters, don’t judge!

Unless you’ve lived with high levels of continuous chronic pain that you know will never ever stop; don’t judge the chronic pain patient who chooses suicide over being a burden to their loved ones. Maybe they have no loved ones and cannot bear to be alone forever with such high amounts of under-treated or untreated pain? Don’t judge someone who’s been doing well for over a decade and suddenly they lose their pain relief and they’ve resorted to “living” a half-life in their bed or a recliner.

These drafts really need more work. There are a lot of contradictions. Tylenol/Acetaminophen is very dangerous and can kill it cause liver failure if taken continuously. Which is what a chronic pain patient will need! NSAID’s cause kidney failure and anyone who thinks Tylenol or Aspirin will help pain levels at a 7,8 or above; doesn’t know anything about pain. In fact, they’ve never lived with ongoing chronic pain illnesses that are Incurable.

Lastly, meditation, grounding, yoga & aqua therapy are nice for PT patients rehabilitating. They’re fine for some people as an addition to pain medication therapy. But they’ll never work alone to end or relieve high amounts of pain for a person who will most likely need pain control forever. It’s just impossible for anyone to go several times weekly and pay for PT forever! Not everyone has access to a pool. Then there are those of us who have open sores from secondary illnesses or from systemic autoimmune and other issues. I’m sorry, but “grounding” is just silly and I’m entitled to my opinions; as are each one of us.

The above paragraphs are my thoughts about some of the HHS Draft for Pain Best Practices. I’ve got to condense these thoughts so that I can actually leave a comment. With the government shut-down, I’m not sure exactlly what will be happening to this side of things? If I find out any more, I promise to inform all of you.  But lets still get those comments posted before April 1, 2019. If we follow the rules, then hopefully someone will hear us. If we wait to see what happens, it may be too late.

Remember not to be long winded. My comments will be condensed version of my issues with the HHS Draft. I will post it for you once I’ve gotten it all set up on the .gov website). Tell them who you are and how you feel about the HHS Draft for Pain Best Practices. Let them know that there are many contradicions in this draft. There are so many things wrong with telling someone who is living with #’s 7,8 or 9 on the pain scale, to take NSAID’s or Acetamenophin. Theres definitely something ludicrous about taking opioids away from someone who’s been doing great with them for a decade or two or three. Opioids are harmless, with very low or no side effects. When taken properly as prescribed for long term chronic intractable pain.  On the other hand, if you research Suboxone and Bupenorphrine. They have horrific side effects and you cannot taper off of them slowly because the medication works against you if you attempt to do this. I have  received several written accounts from chronic pain patients who believed in their physicians and blindly took what was offered to help their pain, as a last resort. They thought it would be better than nothing. (*these accounts will be in a future blog post).

MY OWN COMMENTS:

I have been living with high amounts of chronic pain on a daily basis since a catastrophic car accident in 2002. I did all that was asked of me as far as having 8 surgeries, 9 years of PT, 3 years of TBI rehab and 3 years worth of pain clinic Biofeedback and  injections to my knees, shoulders, neck and spine.  I am not a candidate for a pain pump, due to CVID. I tried many medications and most either made me deathly ill or just had horrible side effects that added to the pain. My story is not unique. Many thousands of chronic pain patients attempt to do all that they can do, prior to taking opioid pain medication. When pain is lifelong, whether you are old or young; the idea of staying in a state of high chronic daily pain for decades upon decades, is daunting.

This draft needs much more work. There are too many contradictions.  There especially needs to be more done for the legacy patients who have been doing well on Opioid therapy for chronic pain.  Legacy patients, like me, are being put into “no win” situations. We have had our medications forcibly taken after doing relatively well for years. Forced tapering is bad for anyone.  It is life altering, dangerous and has taken lives. Why would you mess with something that is not broken?  If someone has been doing well, how could you fathom stopping the regimen that gave them some semblance of a life?  Then what? Then these people are unkowingly prescribed horrible meds like Buprenorphrine / Suboxone.  After much research, it seems like most of this manufactured “opioid hysteria” is for money making. That is shameful to use and even kill innocent people just to allow someone else to get rich.

Why are we making insurance companies pay for all of this acupuncture, massage and yoga etc? Those dont work for long term chronic high pain illnesses where the patient deteriorates as the years go by. The majority of chronic pain patients that I know, say that they don’t want to be poked or even touched, because it hurts too much. This is not a solution. Please try to understand the reality of this situation. Don’t allow people who are living with high emotions, to be in positions of power, in charge of important decisions for the chronically ill. Persons with powerful positions who are greiving & who have lost someone from an overdose shouldn’t be making decisions that affect & involve millions of lives. Most people who have lost a family member or close friend from an overdose, won’t be rational in their decision making. Then they end up punishing an entire community of innocent people because they lost someone (*usually their loved one had overdosed by taking someone else’s prescription or illegal/illicit drugs to numb psychological pain).

Please stop demonizing Opioids and selling the idea that these inanimate objects cause addictions and drug overdose. Addiction is a gene that someone is born with. It shows up in some people and not others. Opioids do not kill people any more than guns kill people. It is when the opioids or the guns who get into the wrong hands. Then the people behind them choose to make terrible decisions and others then die from drug overdose, homicide or suicide. Please remember that opioids are inexpensive, accessible (or they were) and they have few or no side effects. They have been helping many chronic pain patients for years and years. The medications are not “bad”, it is the people who obtain them illegally and then do things to the medications or with them, other than the intended purpose. That is what is dangerous and killing people. 

Chronically ill persons living with high pain illnesses cannot take Tylenol or NSAID’s for the rest of their lives without horrible effects and outcomes. Those medications are not made for long term. They cause liver and kindney failure and worse. Also, this same group of ill citizens, are usually unable to do or pay for complimentary therapy treatments for decades at a time. Lastly, please leave the pain care physcians or any physician trained properly in the management of chronic intractable pain, to make the decisions that affect the pain community. These Dr’s have been highly educated for many extra years, in order to learn how to treat chronic pain.  Stop politicians, PROP, Addiction specialists, pharmacists, the CDC, FDA  and insurance companies from making medical decisions that should be left up to the Dr. and patients themselves. Thank you! Sincerely, Suzanne Stewart

The Opioid Hysteria Hits Home


Hello Luvs,

I wanted to write to you today to share with you something that I know many of us are dealing with these days. It’s about what happened at my pain management Dr. appointment on 11-8-18. First of all, every 30 days, I have to go and endure this treatment and I live with PTSD. It always rears its ugly head the day prior to my appointment with this Dr. or any new Dr. appointments. I’ll just refer you to my other article “Down the Rabbit Hole” if you need a reminder as to what has occurred up until now.

I arrived at the appointment which was in the late morning this time. I usually go in the afternoon because mornings are difficult for me, with my pain issues. But the past 6 months or so, I’ve had horrible anxiety when I know this appointment is drawing nearer. The closer it gets, the worse I start to feel psychologically and physically with the above symptoms on top of the pain. I decided to make this appointment in the morning because I thought it would not ruin our day so much. Just “get it over with” and be done; get on with our day. But it once again, did ruin my/our day.

I’ve had this pain management Dr. since July 2015, after my other Dr. of 15 years left suddenly. At that time I had been on the fentanyl patch and the lollipops for 10 years. This Dr. told me he would only accept me if I took myself off of the lollipops and I did it. I had to suffer through physical dependence withdrawals. I did it at home with my soulmate, my husband.

I’ve never rescheduled an appointment with him, nor have I ever been late. I’ve never run out of meds or asked for them early.  He knows of every medication that I take or have taken and honestly, I don’t feel like its up to me to have to “remind” him that I sometimes take Fiorcet for Chiari Migraines. He and I had a mutual respect sort of Dr./patient relationship up until April of this year 2018.  But that day everything changed and it turned out to be nothing that I did wrong. He had forgotten that I take Fiorcet and it doesn’t always show up on MAPS (Michigan Automated Prescription Service – *explanation found here*: https://www.michigan.gov/lara/0,4601,7-154-72600_72603_55478—,00.html) because its such a low risk medication and not a high class either.  But whether it shows up on the MAPS is not up to me. Nor is it my fault in any way if it shows up or not, as long as he’s known from the beginning that I’ve been on it for more than 7 years.  This one particular day in April, he started being rude to me for no reason whatsoever. I went to my appointments in May, June and July.  But I was horribly anxious and very “ill” prior to each appointment, due to anxiety and PTSD symptoms.

This last visit was another horrible appointment and was possibly the final one for me. I am done being treated like a criminal or an addict! I’m tired of feeling “put down”! I’ve never smoked or drank; nor have I ever taken any drugs. I received one more short acting script and now I will be tapering myself slowly off of the short acting medication as well. It will be horrible because it’s already horrible. It will be difficult and it’s already difficult.  He lied to me in July, telling me that “in Michigan, Fentanyl patch is illegal for him to prescribe (he is a pain management Dr. and Anesthesiologist MD), unless someone has malignant cancer”. I know this is not true and he told me that “I am smart and should be able to verify this online”.  I checked Michigan law and the fentanyl patch warning on the box. It says only that it is “for chronic long term moderate to severe pain that will not be going away.” If anyone has any idea where I can find this in writing; I welcome that information.

I got a letter from my GI Dr. (*see letter below) because he felt it was dangerous to take me off of the Fentanyl patch. With Gastroparesis, SIBO and Chronic Erosive Gastritis; along with EDS type 4/vascular and more, I am not able to metabolize the long acting oral meds. Believe, me, I’ve tried many things and either was allergic, got very ill, it did not help at all or it had large valleys and spikes. The patch just worked for my pain and it was the best match for me and my multiple co-morbidities.

Yesterday’s appointment he told me that “Chronic pain does not kill anyone”. I told him that I was in my recliner now 16+ hours per day due to the pain. He responded by telling me that my cardiologist should not have put me on Clonidine. I’ve been on it since 2015, but went off of it for awhile in between. He knew this also but apparently it slipped his mind because that must be what’s making me “tired.” But in reality, it’s the pain that’s keeping me down. Also, I only get about 4 hours of sleep on a good night.

My cardiologist told me to take 1/2 of only 1mg at night. He prescribed it for me and said it would help with the physical pain & dependence withdrawals. Thank goodness someone cared enough to help me a bit!

I tried to explain that I had resigned from many activities that I was able to do with the medications. He told me that none of this has to do with the medication for pain being taken away after 14 years. He went on to say that “Susan (you’d think after 3.5 years he’d get that my name is “SUZANNE” not “Susan), you and other chronic pain patients are hostages to the pain medications”. These are the same medications that he was fine with for the 3.5 years I’ve been going to him! He also knew that my history was even longer. I’ve been taking opioids since 2005, in order to have some semblance of a life. But just for the record, I’ll let you know that I tried everything else possible fir 3 years, before resorting to the opioids.

This pain management Dr. has told me all along that he cannot make my pain go away. But he can help lessen the pain by prescribing opioids. When he made the “hostage” comment, I responded with; well “instead , now I’m a hostage to the pain”. Yesterday he told us (my husband & me), that all of his patients still tell him they have pain “with or without the pain meds”. I responded by telling him “Yes, that is true, but I had a life with the meds and I have no quality of life now. The pain medication dulled the pain without ever giving me any kind of “high”. Now the pain is much more sharp, pronounced and at the front of my thoughts. I’m not able to concentrate much or put the pain in another place at the back of my brain.”

I started to explain to him that I have several “Physicians, pain physicians and nurses that are my friends online”.  I added that this past week I was diagnosed after an echocardiogram, with “left atrium enlargement”. I’ve had a heart attack, a CVA and a TIA twice. I have Atrial fibrillation, Sick Sinus Syndrome and a pacemaker since 2003. I’ve never had CHF but that’s what this means. I told him that “chronic pain can kill and under treated chronic pain can make blood sugar and blood pressure rise”, which has been happening to me.  He became very upset with me and started to pontificate about how “each symptom needs to be treated by a Dr. who takes care of that problem.  If my blood sugar is high, I need to go to a diabetes Dr. and if my blood pressure is too high, then I need that addressed by a physician who takes care of that issue. He went on to say that “chronic long term pain does not and cannot kill you.  Only acute pain can possibly make BP and HR etc. rise.” But from Dr. Tennant’s own account in his article (Practical Pain Mgmt. By Dr Forrest Tennant MD , from another article, by Pharmacist Steve Ariens, ( Harmful Effects of Untreated Pain )  and this article that I had written last year (that was also published in Ntl. Pain Report), “Chronic pain can kill” (Untreated Chronic Pain Can Lead to Sudden Cardiac Death ), he is the one who is lying.

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Why I Resigned From USPF


Hello Luvs,

It is with sadness that I write this blog post today. I would never intentionally hurt anyone. But I wanted my followers/friends in the pain community to know that this was the most difficult thing that I’ve ever had to do. I loved doing this volunteer work for USPF. They always told me that we were a “family”. Yet, the very day that I lost my Long acting/Extended release pain medication, I opened an email that was just the opposite of everything I thought we stood for. Since that email, I have contemplated resigning, but did not want to “hurt” anyone or do anything to leave them without enough board members etc. But from that day on, things just went down hill. Next, I saw a trailer for a movie that stars actress Karen Duffy and our Interim CEO, called “Balancing the Pain Scale”, that I found out has been in production for 2-3 years. As a Board member, I knew nothing about this movie until someone else alerted me. I went to the trailer and was saddened when I saw the words get “beyond the pill bottle” as I was losing the one thing that had given me some semblance of a life; and so are so many of you.

Lastly, I must add that in the past, I was sent copies of kind emails that pain patients would send in about me. I was also sent emails about patients who needed my help. I never received any emails/letters such as these since becoming a Board member. Not until a disgruntled pain patient who was removed from one of my groups for being disrespectful and unkind sent the interim CEO an email. This person spelled my name incorrectly as “Susan Stuart”, she obviously does not know me and did not know me at all. I felt belittled and reprimanded by being sent the code of ethics. Especially when the issues had nothing to do with USPF and I did not use my role in any conversations with that person. I did not receive a personal phone call, nor did anyone request any information or clarification regarding the absurd complaint; after my years of loyalty to USPF. Therefore, you can read the end result in my recent letter to the Board members below:

Dear Nicole, Wendy, Ellen, Leah & Bruce,

When I was initially asked to join the Board of Directors of the USPF, I was pleased and excited to be joining a group that I feel is  doing wonderful things and representing the interests of the pain community.

Very quickly, (due to Paul’s behaviors+)I discovered that this perception was not true. However, I decided to help shoulder the burden of guiding USPF through the trauma of the aftermath of of Paul’s mishandling of funds & more. Also to stay & help with USPF losing its founder and CEO. As time went on, shocking details of misuse of funds & other inappropriate behaviors kept adding up.kept adding up. I decided that it was my duty to stick by Nicole  & the other Board members & our legal team, to help clean up this mess & help to guide US Pain Foundation in the right direction.

I have become increasingly frustrated because everything that was promised to me upon becoming a Board member has not happened. I was told that I could represent US pain foundation at Pain week in Las Vegas 2018. I was also told that I would be put on an advisory board and be given a program of my own to run and see through to the end. I have been told repeatedly that as a Board member I cannot officially run any programs, but others do. I feel that those things I’m most passionate about are marginalized. I feel that somehow I was inadvertently sought out & appointed to the Board, because somehow, some person(s) thought that I would just agree and not ever express my own voice and opinions. But I do have opinions and a voice. I’m sad that as a board member I don’t know who any of our donors are and I didn’t find out about the movie that’s been in production for three years, I was told? There’s so many things I don’t know but then Leah told me that “there’s no one higher than the board”? It’s a bit confusing in all honesty. I feel “kept in the dark” about many things.

One big reason or probably the that I feel the need to resign from the board of directors of the US Pain foundation starting immediately, is due to the lack of  insurance for Board members & support group members. I don’t feel “safe” being involved with voting on big decisions yet being “left in the dark” much of the time. I don’t really know where money is going or where n it comes from in all  honesty. All the things that I used to love I’m not able to do anymore because “I am a board member“.

Last of all & sadly, I received an email today with a copy of the code of ethics from Nicole. A disgruntled pain patient from Canada, sent her note full of horrible lies & accusations. I was not consulted privately via a phone call or even given the benefit of the doubt. I have never had any trouble with not one person since I joined this or any organizations. I don’t speak or claim to speak for the USPF in any of my groups that I run. I only give facts with links to back up what I say as chronic pain patient.

For all of the above reasons and due to the fact that I don’t feel respected, I must tender my resignation from the Board of Directors  of the US Pain Foundation immediately.

Sadly,

Peace & Hope,

Suzanne B. Stewart

about.me/suzydukettes

Recipient of USPF’s Pain Ambassador of the Year Award‘16, Mentor & Social Media Assistant RSDSA, Staff Columnist/Ntl. Pain Report, Blog-“Tears Of Truth” @tearsoftruth.com, Patient leader WEGO Health, HoH/ASL, patient advocate for Deaf/HoH

“Out of suffering have emerged the most massive characters are seared with scars” ~Khalil Gibran~

Thank you for taking the time to let me share with you. I feel a deep sadness and broken at this time.

Pain, Politics, Suboxone & Bupenorphrine


Please watch this informational video about the a patient removed from the only medication that helped lower pain. Also, much information regarding the dangers of Suboxone /Bupenorphrine.

Pain, politics & Suboxone/Bupenorphrine

All You Ever Wanted to Know About S.I.B.O.


S.I.B.O – Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth (A Chronic small intestine infection)

1) Definition and description of the disorder: (*This is from the info that the Dr’s office gave to me): Simply put, Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth is a chronic bacterial infection of the small intestine. The infection is of bacteria that normally live in the Gastrointestinal tract but have abnormally overgrown in a location not meant for so many bacteria.

2) What people are saying?: I posted an article on National pain report here:

http://nationalpainreport.com/sibo-the-missing-piece-of-chronic-pain-dysautonomia-8832039.html

**Most people have been saying that they have had problems like this for up to 20 years but had no idea what it was. They took my article to their Dr and their Dr’s did not know what it was for most. But some who went to specialist GI Dr’s, got the Breath test done and then they were diagnosed and helped. There are many comments following this article, of other things people are saying about “SIBO”. Also, people have gone months, years or decades before ever getting a proper diagnosis. It is known from what little research exists, that tress, trauma, autoimmune illnesses and more, can contribute to the symptoms of SIBO.

3). Symptoms: gas/expel flatus, within Small Intestine. The gas causes abdominal bloating, abdominal pain, constipation, diarrhea or both (similar to symptoms of IBS). Excess gas can also cause belching and flatulence. Also symptoms include painful and bloated abdomen

(*looking and feeling like a 3-5 most pregnancy), nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, malnutrition, weight loss, joint pain, fatigue and chronic fatigue.

4). Possible co-morbidities: People with SIBO normally have illnesses such as Dysautonomia and/or Autoimmune illnesses. This is information given to me at the Dr.’s office. But on the website listed below, on weebly.com, it is noted that There are many conditions associated with SIBO including: diabetes, scleroderma, Crohn’s disease, and others. There is a striking similarity between the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome(IBS) and SIBO. It has been theorized that SIBO may be responsible for the symptoms of at least some people diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome. Autoimmune nerve damage to the small intestine is frequently a cause of SIBO.

5) Treatment Options: The treatment for SIBO is a 7-10 day course of antibiotics. They do treat the infection and so the symptoms disappear for awhile. The problems lie in that the disease that causes SIBO can’t be corrected at times. The symptoms return frequently, once the antibiotics are stopped. Some patients need to be treated with antibiotics repeatedly or even continuously. Some readily available probiotics used are: VSL#3 or FLORA-Q, but their effectiveness has not been proven. Also, Bifidobacterium infants 35624 is the only probiotic that has actually proven helpful in treating symptoms of IBS and SIBO.

6). FDA Approved medications: the approved medication for SIBO is antibiotic therapy. Also, a dietary supplement called “Allign” is often given in conjunction with the antibiotics. It is a probiotic which can help alleviate some of the bacterial overgrowth.

7) Complimentary Therapies: Allign is an OTC probiotic, that does alleviate some of the symptoms and some of the bacteria. Also, eating probiotic yogurts daily, will help cut down the occurrences of SIBO. Meditation and Guided imagery have been helpful in relieving some of the stress in the body and gut.

8) Best Nutrition: The best nutrition is to make sure that you eat yogurt and any other dietary items with probiotics in them.

*FODMAPs (fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides and polyols) are found in certain foods that are commonly poorly absorbed and fermented in people with IBS and SIBO, so restricting them can be very helpful. *there is a resource below that will help you with this and explain more about FODMAPs.

9) Best exercise regime: This can be difficult because what they have found is that exercise in any rigorous manner can actually worsen the symptoms of SIBO. But a healthy diet and walking 30 minutes daily for most of the days of the week, do help the symptoms of SIBO.

10) Local Support Groups: Right now there are only 4 support groups in the USA. They are NYC SIBO Support group, SIBO Support Group Los Angeles and the Portland, OR SIBO support group. There are several online support groups on Yahoo groups and on Facebook. The most well known for being a “good” support group, according to the article in #4 below in “informational resources”, is here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/470628319710443/

11) Links to other organizations and websites and additional info:

A) https://sibocenter.com/2016/02/resources/

B) http://www.Siboinfo.com

C) https://cemoodle.nunm.edu/

12) Personal Story for Someone to Connect with: I have had GI problems for many years and after 2002, when I was in a “catastrophic” motor vehicle accident, they increased. I had tried about 4 different GI Dr’s, but none of them could figure out what was wrong with me exactly.

They kept telling me it was “IBS”, but I knew it was something much more and different from that. IBS is enough to deal with and a horrible problem, but I was having even more serious issues. I finally found a wonderful GI Dr in Michigan. He did some tests that the others had not done. One of the tests was called a “Hydrogen Breath test” and the other was a digestive test for Gastroparesis. It turns out that I have both the SIBO and the Gastroparesis, along with Chronic Erosive Gastritis. I felt bloated and looked a few months pregnant and was having a lower abdomen burning sensation. Now I take monthly antibiotics, or pretty much monthly. I have to rotate with 3 different kinds of Antibiotics because they don’t work well if you become immune to the same one often. I stuck it out and did not give up until I found a Dr. Who would actually listen to me and not dismiss my issues, because I have so many and because I’m a “complicated case. Now I try to eat a probiotic yogurt daily and I cannot take the “Allign” due to a heart problem called “Long QT syndrome”, as it interferes with that. But I do have to take the antibiotics and I have found some relief with online and Facebook support groups for general pain issues and now one for SIBO too. I have listed everything for you above or below. I wrote an article that I have posted above for you, in the National Pain Report last year. When people commented, I was amazed at how many people had the same symptoms and no relief. Many people told me that they printed out the article and took it to their GI or PC Dr’s, and they were tested with the simple Breath test. They have also found some relief and for that I am extremely happy. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask?

13). Graphics:

A). There are some YouTube videos here:

1: Youtube video: On SIBO from Gastroenterologists : (Digestive disease week 2012)

2: Youtube video: Info about Gut Bacteria & SIBO

INFORMATIONAL RESOURCES:

1) Information on SIBO

2) also from a handout from GI Dr’s office in MI, called “Overview-SIBO-Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth” (the handout was found at: EE Website : Brochure about SIBO

3) IBS & SIBO INFO

4) Start a SIBO Support Group

5) Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth, the case of the perpetual patient : The case of the perpetual patient