Fear Instead Of Trust


Hello Luvs,

Sorry I’ve been quiet for a little while. I recently went to get new hearing aids. I was so excited to get new ones after 10 + years with my old Rextons. I was awaiting new insurance after my husband retired.

I went to see the audiologist & afterwards she asked if I’d be willing to see the nurse practitioner. I agreed, & afterwards they told me that I needed a CT scan because my hearing had declined so much more on the right side. They set up an appointment with their ENT Dr., the day after we returned from visiting our daughter, son in law & grand babies. I was a bit curious as to WHY they were telling me to come the day after I got home? I would be in pain and exhausted. But it never entered my mind what I would find out next!

So, when we were in Texas, I got an email message telling me that my CT results were available in the hospital’s portal. I know there’s a disclaimer stating that “you can find out things about the gender of your baby, HIV or other illnesses, even cancer”. In other words, do not look if you don’t want to know until you’re sitting with a Doctor.

But I’ve been through a car accident, deafness, multiple chronic pain illnesses & approximately 9 surgeries just since that accident. I can handle it, right? It can’t be bad if they already put it in the portal…can it?

It’s not bad…. it’s worse than that. I’ve never been so terrified in my entire life! I don’t even know how to verbalize my fear this time. There’s no way around it. I can’t go over or under it. I am being forced to go through it. I’ve been diagnosed with a Cholesteatoma. If you see the #cholestatoma or #cholesteatomasucks on Instagram, it looks like a horror movie. I’m not kidding! It’s really terrifying and people get these horrible skull base surgeries. Facial nerves, worsening deafness and brains are involved.

I found out that I have to have my hair shaved on the right side above my ear. My mastoid bone is affected; as are the 3 bones needed for any hearing. My skull will be drilled and after a 3-4+ hour surgery and more pain on top of my full body RSD/CRPS & other high pain illnesses; it has a 50% chance of coming back!

Anyways, I’ll write another post after I process what will happen tomorrow morning 6-10-19. I’m seeing a skull base/neuro/ear surgeon at 8:30 am tomorrow/Monday morning. I’ll get my questions answered, I hope? Will he be kind and compassionate? Will he help my post-op pain?

I saw my pain Dr. this past Thursday. I also saw my GP this week. The GP was so kind and first time ever, she gave me a hug. My pain Dr has turned from Dr Jekyll to Mr. Hyde over the past year. I’ve never failed a drug test or run out of meds early! I’ve never done anything wrong, yet he’s treated me less than human now for months! Before he’d even accept me as a new patient; he ordered me to stop taking my “quick acting” pain medication. It was something I’d been taking for 13 years (*my former Dr. of 12 years had prescribed it, but then one day he just vanished. That’s when I was forced to find a new Dr.).

In July 2018; he told me he was stopping my long acting pain medication… “that day”! No tapering just stopping it! I did not cry or get upset but I asked “why”? He told me “it’s illegal now and if I help you, I won’t be able to help all of those other people “!

I got him to listen a tiny bit because I reminded him of my stroke and heart attack in the past. He decided to give me one more month. He then said in a nasty tone that he was doing that “to get me psychologically ready”! Really?? It has zero to do with my psychological status and everything to do with high impact chronic pain. Of course he “covered himself” by offering me a different, long acting medication that I cannot take because of issues with Gastroparesis & not being able to metabolize a long acting oral medication. My GI Dr wrote him a letter & told him just that! The pain doctor just said, “This is bullshit! His medical license isn’t any better than mine! If he wants you to have that pain medication, let him prescribe it”! Well, of course He’s a GI doctor and he can’t!

I had my other physicians telling me that “it was unethical for my pain Dr to taper me so quickly!” They said it should have been 10% lowered at a time! But nobody was there to save me and I had to accept it and try my best to move on & keep going. I did it myself when I was told to get off of the quick acting medication. My body physically did not feel well for awhile but I never once craved it or wanted it in my mind- not ever! Then I got off of that long acting medication and once again, I did it myself! You’d think my pain Dr would respect me just a little. But instead, he’s treated me in a demeaning, disrespectful manner ever since last year in March of 2018.

I told my pain doctor that I’m going to have to have this really scary skull surgery soon. That I’m seeing a neuro/skull base/ear surgeon. He was so cold, uncaring & horrible that I truly cannot believe he’s a physician! He told me that I shouldn’t behave like I’m “too afraid” or the surgeon may refuse to take my case! That’s insane if you ask me! What high impact chronic pain patient, headed for hair shaving, painful head surgery wouldn’t be afraid? I’m literally frozen with fear inside! But I’m strong, resilient and I’ve been a survivor through childhood abuse, horrible teen years with my kids, abusive marriages and a catastrophic car accident. Since the car accident, there have been 9 surgeries, 2 pacemakers and several metal screws and implants embedded into my body.

I can do this! Right? Can I do this? Do I have a choice? What did I do that’s so terrible in my life? I have tried my best to be a good person & to help others. I’ve been a Chemo-angel since 2005. I’ve written countless letters, made numerous videos and I’ve met with & spoken to legislators regarding this fake opioid crisis! This horrible and torturous pain crisis that’s killing innocent people everywhere.

Now comes the big question, what happens with my post-op pain care? My pain Dr told me if he was my anesthesiologist, he wouldn’t give after care post-op meds because of “risk for complications”! Gosh… I’ll bet if it was his skull being drilled, he’d be asking for some pain relief medication? He acted like I was getting a hangnail removed! Anyone else who I’ve told, says “oh my goodness, that sounds scary!”

So, my friends, here we are on the eve prior to the appointment when I’ll get all of my questions answered, I hope! What do I ask? How do I ask it? Will I be judged? Will I be too complicated and will he “run”? Will he really not help me just because I’m afraid? I’m not acting out hysterically. I’m not crying in front of the Drs. But I’m deeply scared and I’m having horror flick, bloody, stabbing nightmares! I don’t even know the surgery date as if this post. But I’m pretty sure I’ll know by the time most of you read this.

I promise to let you know when it will happen. If anything happens to me, please don’t forget me, OK? I love so many of you. I’ve seen so many of my friends in pain pass away over the past few years…it’s sad and I miss them a lot (Connie, Cyndi “Maw”, Theresa, Gwen Barbara, and Dawn Anderson most recently).

I’m not being morbid, I promise I’m just afraid. I feel less strong as I get older now. I’m 57 years old and was just looking forward to enjoying retirement with my soul-mate; my husband. He retired last June and we’ve had one thing after another come up. I’d really like to take a breath and enjoy some period of time in my life, for a change. We have 4 darling grandchildren. I just want to hug them, love them and enjoy them as much as possible. Will I ever get to do that now?

Oh…. & last but not least, I told my father about this upcoming surgery. I told him that “I wanted my mom more than ever right now” (she died in 2002). He told me that through her cancer etc., there were many times she “needed things“(he was telling me that I wasn’t there for her)! Well, I’ll just share with you all that I tried prior to my catastrophic car accident, to be there for her. I showed up at the hospital even after being told “she didn’t want me there”. I got there and I was told to leave. I was the only person allowed by the nurses, to sit with her in PRE-Op for 2 hours. We had 2 hours of alone time and it was once in my life that we got along & she wanted me around, it seemed? It was very nice, actually. But then the entire duration of the surgery, I was bullied, mocked, disrespected and literally treated like scum under a sink, by my Aunt, my 2 brothers and my dad.

Please pray for me so that I can be strong like I used to be and like I usually am. I need strength and . I’m terribly frightened tonight as my fate lies in the hands of a stranger that I will meet in 7 hours or so. I have heard & seen many horror stories of pain patients like me, being denied proper post-Op pain management. That fear is probably my biggest fear of all, or in the top 3!

Oh yes, I almost forgot to tell you what my Pain Doc said before I left his office on Thursday. He told me he was “OK with me getting the 3 days of post operative pain control from the surgeon”. He told me to “not accept the post-op meds if they just give me Tylenol with codeine, because that would be like a baby aspirin for me”!

In 2013, I had a full pectoral rebuild and new pacemaker. My cardiologist was wonderful to me! Things are so different now! Im feeling like the powers that be, the government just want persons like me to be gone and out of the way. But I’m still a human being. I want to live. I want to travel even a little. I want to be a grandmother.

I promise to write a quick post as soon as I process and know what’s happening & when the surgery will be.

Thank you in advance, for any and all prayers, positive thoughts & energy sent my way.

As I await my upcoming appointment I would love to be able to sleep. But when I’m really afraid, my GI tract takes over. It’s as though I’m on “auto pilot”. I get overwhelming stomach nausea and flu-like symptoms. THATS how fearful I am feeling. I’ve tried to control it but it’s a combination of PTSD, Dysautonomia & a highly over active “fight or flight response’.

In conclusion, I have a final request: Now is NOT the time to tell me a horror stories regarding any of your past head, skull or brain surgeries. When I recover, I promise…..then I will be glad to listen, help and share etc. Also, it’s such a shame in these days of crazy & draconian policies, that we all have fear instead of trust in the entire “system”.

Sending you love and light!

9 Pieces of ‘Health Advice’ It’s OK To Ignore if you Have Chronic Illness


Hello Luvs,

Well, I’m sure that you all have those friends &/or that family member who always has “advice” for your chronic illness? Don’t you just want to make them feel how you feel for about 30 minutes, at times? Let them feel the pain and suffer as you do, just for awhile? Better yet, don’t tell them that it’s only for 30 minutes! Let them think they’ll feel that way forever; for life! No end in sight just like you(us) and no cure! What if they thought they had to live with it forever? Do you think they’d be changed?

I get so tired of people giving advice, when they have absolutely no idea what it’s like to look pretty much “fine” on the outside; while feeling so much pain & fatigue.

9 Pieces of ‘Health Advice’ It’s OK to Ignore If You Have a Chronic Illness https://themighty.com/2018/12/bad-health-advice-chronic-illness/

Are Imposters Preying On Unsuspecting Patients In Our Pain Community Again?


Hello Luvs

Once again I’m so sorry to be giving the news regarding the possibility of imposters (or at the very least, these are persons who don’t have the best interest of our pain community in their hearts) infiltrating our pain community. Last I wrote about this subject, was a month ago, inside of several groups, to warn them! It was regarding the notorious “Kate Ashworth” aka “fake RSD/CRPS guru”(see article link below). She was back again; hurting unknowing chronic pain patients! Those affected, just happened to be persons who also live with the unbearable pain of RSD/CRPS. (To find out more about RSD/CRPS, please visit: For Real Facts & Information About RSD/CRPS, follow this link to RSDSA Home Page (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome Association)

*(To Read the article about the imposter,“Kate Ashworth”,who recently came back a second time & infiltrated the RSD/CRPS community; visit this link: This is the Link to the article about Kate Ashworth, an Imposter to the Chronic Pain Community) “Strangers Among Us”

On Tuesday night 3-6-29; I saw a message from a long time RSD/CRPS friend on Facebook. I saw the message very late in middle of the night and it was written by Mary Mattio, in a “closed & secret” Facebook support Group for RSD/CRPS. Posting with permission, this is what I read at approximately 11:30 pm:

I’ll show you everything that was written underneath. But first I want to say “thank you” to Mary Mattio for posting about this to the Facebook group, . When digging deeper, I’d like to say “thank you” also to Tracey Tipton-Morales & Marisa Gravett for their “detective work”, involvement and postings. But we need to all give a special thanks to Sarah Lesley, for being the first to figure out all of this mess which I’m going to try to explain. So thank you to everyone who’s been involved in getting the word out, sharing, reporting and blocking these alleged fakes.(I have to say “alleged” but I believe it is true, with my whole heart!)

This was the full post shared from Sarah Lesley & Marisa Gravett:

⚠️ ATTENTION CHRONIC PAIN COMMUNITY⚠️

* Shared from Sarah Lesley & Marisa Gravett *

Okay CRPS Community: If you are in the group “RSD/CRPS and Neuropathic Pain Syndrome” beware… This was brought to my attention this morning. One of the admins actually works for a treatment center that focuses on getting pain patients to stop talking about their pain, basically making it seem like it’s all in our heads. I just saw a YouTube video shared in a post on that page this morning of him doing a presentation about his research and recovery centers and how it focuses on getting pain patients to stop focusing on their pain and to be able to return to be active members of society again. Basically making it sound like we don’t really need medical care, treatment etc…

I am infuriated at some of the things that I have seen and found out. We believe that many of the admins are either fake or using fake names and or involved in depth with Dr. Rand and his treatment centers as one of his treatment centers is referred to as the Bay Area and the last name of many of the admins is Bay…

Think of this as a conspiracy theory if you wish but I have just seen with my own eyes a YouTube video by Dr. Rand speaking about these treatment centers and it is very clear that this group and possibly other groups that we may all be involved in with similar admins, maybe using the information that we give against us as research, or to turn it in to help with their research or so-called research.

It is clear that this group is not created to help others. Many of the members I am sure do their best to help many people in this group to share information to ask questions and I do not blame or think any of the members are involved except for the ones that are listed as admins.

If you are in this group you are advised to check it out for yourself and if you feel the same way to delete the posts that you have in that page as well as get out of it. Also I would advise all of us to take a better look at who the admins are in many of our groups if we do not know or have never checked it out. We need to do all we can to look out for ourselves and our fellow CRPS Warriors and if there is any chance that this group is not on the up-and-up or could be using our information for any purpose other than to help each other live a life with this horrendous evil monster of a disease, I want no part of it and I do not want any of you to as well.

I was originally going to tag everybody in the post within the group that I’m friends with but there are so many of you I ran out of room on a piece of paper writing your names. I’ll be tagging as many as it will allow. Please if you are a CRPS Warrior check out this group check out the information for yourself and be careful out there.

I urge you all to please report all the fake profiles & all the groups that the fake profiles created & are Admins of, it’s the only way we can get them shut down. This post is now public, please feel free to share. Marisa Gravett has additional information on this as well.

Look up Jerrod Rand on YouTube if you want to see for yourself. Be careful out their Warriors. We are finding way too many wolves in sheeps clothing within our community.

** BELOW ARE SCREENSHOTS OF THE ADMINS & A FEW OF THE GROUPS & PAGES THAT ARE LINKED TO THEM **

**BEFORE I REPORTED & BLOCKED THIS “JERROLD RAND” facebook account (whether someone is using his name, or it is truly this person; we don’t know yet?)- I FOUND THIS POST VERY INTERESTING & TELLING OF PROBLEMS ON/WITH THAT PAGE:

I wanted to add that we all need to be vigilant, but we cannot allow ourselves to overreact or get too upset over this. Though it is very upsetting, our main goal is to stay calm and get the “word out” to the RSD/CRPS & Pain Communities. If everyone who reads this can go and report each of these groups and the 5 accounts that appear to be for the sole purpose of “pushing” these 30 or so “support groups” on unknowing people in pain! If we all can do that, Facebook will be able to shut them down!

Please understand that I’m in no way condemning those who have joined these groups. It’s not their fault. It’s the admins (whoever they truly are??) of those groups who are to blame. They are violating our community and others. Once again, people had recently been asked to send in photos of their Rsd/CRPS affected limbs. People, please don’t send your photos to anyone who asks. If you’re friends with someone who you know & feel comfortable with; and you want to share a photo; go for it! But please, just a bit of advice from my heart: “please don’t send your personal medical photos to anyone who requests them from you”. Also, PLEASE don’t take any medical advice from anyone online. They could be impersonating anyone! Only take therapeutic, medical advice from your own personal medical professionals. The ones who know you and your personal mecical history.

Any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask: Sarah Lesley, Mary Mattio, Marisa Gravett, Tracey Tipton-Morales or you can ask me & I’ll do my best to get the right answers for you.

Please share this public blog post everywhere that you can. We need to look out form& take care of each other! Thank you for your time!

Lastly, here’s a link to a video by Jerrold Rand who seems to be the ringleader:

1: “Dr” J. Rand on Opiate use” at his Youtube channel called “Bay Recovery”

2: “Dr” J. Rand talks about Methadone on his Youtube channel

3: THIS ONE MAY UPSET YOU- if you’re fighting for your life-saving pain medication right now (just forewarning you): “Dr.” J. Rand’s patient talking about chronic pain etc. (On Youtube)

I hope that you will all just take this information and do what’s in your heart. I cannot honestly write here, that I know anything “for sure” about this quack! I’m writing an opinion piece (because we are all allowed to have our own personal feelings and opinions). But my opinion is that this guy and his 30+ Facebook groups, fake admins (possibly?) and several fake accounts, are frauds! I’m just sayin’—–check the one photo screenshot above especially!! The one that shows that his license was revoked in 2012!! Then look at the News story underneath that one! About him self-prescribing sleeping pills etc! Also, it appears from that News piece, that he somehow may have been responsible for a women’s death??

Sorry for the bad news! But I love you all with my whole heart & soul. I feel an inner tug at my heart to protect you in any way possible.

Anti-Opioid Zealots


I opened up facebook to see that a person who calls herself an “investigative reporter”; doesn’t actually have a clue about the subject for which she stands upon her soapbox and spews hate and prejudice! Her hate speeches, disdain, lack of knowledge & empathy for the chronic pain community are outrageous. She also states that she’s a pastors wife! Which in a stereotypical sense, should make her more kind, loving & empathetic (on the contrary). I’m definitely not a cold or callous person. I deeply care about others & especially my fellow chronic pain patients. But I pity her in her for the way she’s unable to get help for her grief. I’m terribly and deeply sorry for anyone who’s lost someone that they love to any kind of addiction. She lost an adult child to overdose of prescription opioids. She’s made it her fight in life now, to rid the world of the “evil narcotics”. Do you think she knows that the statistics prove that only 1-3% of prescription opioids ever result in overdose?Check out this new report from the Cato Institute

It’s the illicit fentanyl and Cara-fentanyl from Mexico & China that are the problem! It’s not legitimate chronic pain patients with legitimate prescriptions from licensed pain management physicians that are to blame for this manufactured “opioid crisis”. The opioids are only a tool. Just as guns, kitchen knives and cars are all tools. These tools don’t kill people any more than opioids “kill people”! There’s a genetic link to addiction. There’s also a distinct difference between addiction and being dependent physiologically to a medication that one has taken for several years to decades. With addiction, the addict must make a conscious decision to get the meds, tell lies, keeps secrets and physically take the increasing amounts of drugs to give them a “high” or a euphoric feeling! They ruminate look at the clock, just waiting for their next fix! Chronic pain patients, for the most part; were never given the “luxury” of a choice! Most are people living the rest of their lives with high amounts of ongoing daily chronic pain; with no end in sight! The average chronic Pain patient, is living a life sentence in agony through no fault of their own! Usually an unsuccessful surgery, freak accident or a motor vehicle accident. Today we have an “under & untreated pain crisis”, with suicides from pain mounting in numbers weekly. A very knowledgeable and vocal physician and chronic pain patient advocate, Dr Thomas Kline, MD, has kept a record of these rising number of suicides.

Chronic pain is in fact a disease; as explained in this article in Health Magazine (February 2016) and in many other news articles. It’s Origin is Neurological. Scientists now believe that one cause of chronic pain is a dysfunction of the nervous system & includes the misfiring of nerve signals long after an accident or injury. According to this article: http://amp.timeinc.net/health/health/condition-article/0,,20187942,00.html, Neurons (cells in the nervous system that communicate with each other) become overexcited and keep firing, even after the original cause (injury or illness, in some cases) has long since passed. The person receives persistent pain signals.

If I may be so bold as to speak for the majority of the chronic pain community, we are not insensitive or calloused persons. In fact, I’ve never met a more caring, empathetic group of citizens. We care very much that people have lost their family members to the disease of addiction. We grieve for their loss of lives and love.

But we are grieving too! We have had so many deaths due to either suicide, untreated or under treated chronic pain since the CDC Guidelines appeared in 2016. Read this: Article by Dr Jeffrey Singer MD, Cato Institute. Dr Singer states that, “patients have become the civilian casualties of the misguided policies addressing the opioid crisis.” These “guidelines”have somehow become “law” to the majority of anti-opioid zealots; along with many physicians and pharmacists!

I wrote to the CDC and if you look at their response to my letter here(*& in photo below) A Response letter sent to me, from Exec Secretary of CDC, they state that “the CDC Guidelines are not meant to be rule, regulation or law. It’s not intended to deny access to opioid pain medications as an option for pain management”. I also agree that nobody should be denied pain care. That these are just supposed to be nothing more than guidelines. They weren’t meant to become the Law!!

Now there are admissions of the over fabrication of statistics by the CDC. Also, the AMA has come out with their own resolutions to these Draconian CDC Guidelines. You can find what they’ve written in this article by The Pain News Network https://www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2018/11/14/ama-calls-for-misapplication-of-cdc-opioid-guideline-to-end

This person calls herself an investigative reporter. People like her feel that because they have an audience & a platform; that they can stand on their soapbox and spew misinformation and hatred due to unresolved feelings of loss and grief! But they are just plain wrong!

When I opened up Facebook to try and reason with her. To attempt to discuss and/or debate like adults; I found that her page was blocked from any comments or discussions. That’s when you know you’re on the side of light and good. When you’re willing to discuss hard subjects in a civilized manner. But when discussions are cut out and blocked; that’s when we know that a person just wants to pontificate and spew hate!

Lastly, I wanted to add that this person should be in violation of the ADA, for her written comments regarding Cindy Steinberg. She made derogatory remarks about Cindy, a very well known pain patient advocate and friend of mine! I don’t think she is allowed to say the things that she said about Cindy supposedly being “theatrical” because she used a cot in between her statements regarding the opioid hysteria. This reporter even went so far as to say that Cindy was “laying in her her cot while testifying to Congress.”! Gee, I saw the video and it sure appears that she’s sitting in a seat discussing the situation in an intelligent manner. Here is part of Cindy Steinberg’s message:

“In the near term, we can and must restore balance to opioid prescribing with depoliticized, rational and cleareyed recognition of the risks and benefits of these medications,” she said, according to her prepared remarks. “In the long term, we must invest in the discovery of new, effective, and safer options for people living with pain.”

What’s wrong with that message? How could any sane person find something incorrect or one-sided, with that direct quote”. On the contrary, Cindy spoke intelligently! She discussed ways to help end opioid hysteria and the under-treated/untreated pain crisis today!

Lastly, if this one-sided, so called “investigative reporter”, would share an ounce of the truth with her readers; she’d have not lied about Cindy “laying in a cot while testifying to Congress”. Cindy, as you can see from the video of her testimony, is sitting upright in a chair as she speaks to Congress. But would there have been a problem if she had been in a cot while testifying? NBC & this reporter could very well be violating the Americans with Disabilities Act? In what world is mocking a disabled person OK? Isn’t there an ADA law that calls for accommodating persons with a disability?

Below is a photo from a portion of the return response letter that I received from the Executive Secretary of the CDC:

Here are some great resources for those who are skeptical of my words here today:

  • ALSO: Here are a couple of articles written by the person being referred to in my article today:
  • Lastly, I just want to add (so that I an not accused of being a “mouthpiece” for the USPF) that I resigned from the US Pain Foundation in September 2018; after only 8 months as a Board Member & 3 1/2 years as a volunteer Ambassador. I was planning on staying to try and help them rebuild. But the moment that I felt my integrity was challenged, I resigned.
  • Please send Your comments Re: HHS Draft for Pain Best Practices


    Hello Luvs,

    I just wanted give my readers a little “nudge” & remind you all to visit the The HHS Task Force online, which has provided a 90 day public comment period (ending April 1st,2019)

    Click here to post your comments re: the HHS Draft for Best Practices (90 day comment period)

    ****In the Search Box, put these words so you’ll get to the correct place for commenting: HHS Draft for Best Practices.

    I implore you to send in your comments. This is our chance to have our voices heard. Please go to the above link, in order to have your voice heard regarding the Draft Report to HHS. * my comments are copied & pasted for you below.

    There are three different ways that you can send in your comments regarding this Draft report:

    **When you write, email or post your messages regarding the Draft Report, please refer to this Docket Number:HHS-OS-2018-0027

    How to Submit Comments:

    1) Visit this Federal Portal at: http://www.regulations.gov

     2). Or you may Email topaintaskforce@hhs.gov

    3) or use USPS and you may Mail written comments to:

    U.S. Department of Health and Human ServicesOffice of the Assistant Secretary for Health200 Independence Avenue, S.W., Room 736E,Attn: Alicia Richmond Scott, Task Force Designated Federal OfficerWashington, DC 20201

    These are my thoughts. I will be condensing them into being my comments to the HHS Best Practices (again, comment period goes until April 1,2019:

    • I agree with the “individualized patient centered care”. But allow the Dr./Patient relationship to the determine treatments. But don’t allow the government, pharmacists/pharmacies, to override the treatment, including type, class & dosage of pain medications. Pain management Drs. went through, in many cases; 14-15 years of extra education. They know more about what’s best for the patients.
    • Opioids taken as prescribed, have less harsh & lasting side-effects than many other medications that are prescribed freely for patients today (such as Bupenorphrine, Suboxone)
    • 1) Many medications can cause death, if an overdose occurs.  2) Many medications can cause physical dependence, including heart, blood pressure and even insulin.
    • Pain Medications shouldn’t be decided on by what illness(es) a patient is living with. Pain is subjective and the CDC, in their 2012 response to Andrew Kolodny, stated that there was no research to prove that there’s any difference between cancer and non-cancer pain. Mr. Kolodny was trying to say that cancer pain was the only worst pain. There are a number of illnesses nicknamed “the suicide disease”,( including: RSD/CRPS, A.S., T.M. & others). People with comorbid highly painful conditions, should not be lumped & labeled as a sum of their illnesses. Everyone metabolizes differently. Some people may do well on a certain medication, while it makes others desperately more ill (due to the horrible side effects).
    • Nothing should ever be dictated “across the board” . Never should one rule be applied to 100 million chronic pain Patients. Some people living with illnesses such as Ehlers Danlos syndrome, for example; don’t metabolize medication like most other people do. They may need a much higher dosage than what the recommended ceiling of 90MME allows. By the way, when did recommended become law?
    • The CDC Guidelines were supposed to be just recommendations for General practitioners. But not even a year later, pain management Drs started being hassled by the DEA & other government & law enforcement officials. In 2018, they turned into “laws”. In many cases, good Drs. Have been losing their livelihood, their entire life’s work, because the DEA thinks that they had too many pain patients taking higher doses of opioids! It’s normal that Pain clinics would have a much higher number of people taking higher dosages of opioids.
    • Many persons who are living with several lifelong chronic painful illnesses, do not wish to have: massage, Reike, acupuncture or anything involving touching. People for example with CRPS, (systemic especially), cannot bear the pain of touching like this.
    • Many of those who live with horribly painful Rheumatoid disease, Neuropathies, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome & others, may get worse from doing things like Yoga, Tai Chi and even PT. (I had 9 years of PT & it made me worse & not better,many times)
    • Meditation most often doesn’t work well for the patients living with anxiety &/or PTSD, for example. *If it does help a little; it still does not lower high amounts of pain for the rest of someones life. Not enough to give someone their life back after a catasrophic painful event.
    • Why should anyone be forced to get an invasive surgery over taking a simple oral pill? Again, any medication is dangerous if taken incorrectly or by a person other than the intended patient. Therefore demonizing only opioids makes no sense.
    • Many persons aren’t candidates for the SCS and/or intra-thecal pain pumps. Many living with several painful illnesses have also compromised immune systems (CVID +others).
    • It appears that nobody on this HHS task force lives with chronic pain, in high amounts, due to lifelong, high pain chronic illnesses? Because they should know that no amount of meditation, injections or tai chi, would end ongoing continuous life long chronic pain!
    • *meditation, music therapy and aqua therapy may help to lessen pain for a short period of time (**if the patient doesn’t have an aversion to being in water or have open sores due to secondary illnesses)
    • As you can see, there’s no one fix for everyone. Mostly because we are individuals who must have individualized care. Nobody should be putting one group of persons with physical chronic pain or PTSD, ahead of another group of survivors. You don’t know what horrors anyone has been through. A soldiers PTSD may be horrific. Also horrific may a grown up’s PTSD. Someone who had lived a life of horrors in their own home (which should’ve been a safe place), at the hands of abusive family members.
    • Please don’t prescribe dosage limits “across the board” for everyone. That’s not keeping with the physicians code of ethics “to do no harm”!
    • Don’t pick & choose what medication or dosage by each illness or condition. Some medications work for one person and don’t help others
    • Give the physician back their right(after years and years of education & experiences) to diagnose and treat people with ongoing lifelong pain. Keep the Dr/patient relationships together, without intrusion or interruption in patient care!
    • Please keep in mind that chronic pain does not = addiction.! Just because someone needs opioids to help high amounts of pain (*that will most often, never go away), does not make them an addict. It shouldn’t give them the label of “substance use disorder” either!
    • Do Not make the Hippa privacy laws a joke or obsolete. Confidentiality matters! In order to have any confidence in your health care team, you must trust them. What I’m saying is that the police departments and other employees of the government or anywhere, should NOT BE GIVEN ACCESS TO THE MAPS*! The MAPS are already invasive enough without giving access to everyone!

    There are a few good parts to the draft:

    • The suggestion to treat each patient on an individual, patient by patient basis.
    • Stop raiding innocent Drs offices.
    • Stop taking physicians livelihood/careers away because someone at the top of the ladder at the HHS, CDC or elsewhere; lost a brother, mother or best friend, to opioid abuse &/or addiction, that ended with a death, loss and then turned into bitterness!
    • Give more hours of education in pain management to medical students

    Lastly, opioids are a safe, effective and an inexpensive way to treat lifelong chronic pain, for many patients in this category. They help & work for so many! Especially legacy patients with multiple high pain comorbidities, depend on opioids to have some semblance of life. I know, because it happened to me and I lost my LA/ER pain medications in Sept 2018. I have a much less full life now.

    The PTSD, that chronic pain patients are living with after being legacy patients who had been doing well taking opioids for a decade or two or three, is a nightmare! People are becoming a shell of their former selves. Persons with multiple & painful comorbidities, who were able to possibly do a job, be a mother, father, caregiver or grandmother, while taking opioids (*also btw, never getting high from their opioids!); are doomed to live a half-life in bed or a recliner forever. Many are committing suicide.

    I read some nasty comments on an article recently (I’ll look for that article. Sorry, I can’t remember where I saw it, but I will find it and post for you asap). There were comments from a person who lost someone to an opioid overdose/addiction. She said she was  “tired” of hearing about pain patients contemplating suicide. Tired of seeing where chronic pain patients have written in whining that “if they don’t get their pain meds back they will kill themselves”. Well, I pity that lady because she’s obviously never gone through anything that involves long term, never ending high amounts of chronic pain. The chronic pain population needs to know that there is hope. Because someone doesn’t contemplate suicide, where there is “Hope”. So someone please tell that woman to “chill out” and to “be kind”. Also, tell her not to cut down, put down, belittle or be insidious about life long, never ending, high amounts of daily chronic pain.  Unless she is in my shoes/our shoes, our wheelchairs, walkers, crutchs, braces and motorized scooters, don’t judge!

    Unless you’ve lived with high levels of continuous chronic pain that you know will never ever stop; don’t judge the chronic pain patient who chooses suicide over being a burden to their loved ones. Maybe they have no loved ones and cannot bear to be alone forever with such high amounts of under-treated or untreated pain? Don’t judge someone who’s been doing well for over a decade and suddenly they lose their pain relief and they’ve resorted to “living” a half-life in their bed or a recliner.

    These drafts really need more work. There are a lot of contradictions. Tylenol/Acetaminophen is very dangerous and can kill it cause liver failure if taken continuously. Which is what a chronic pain patient will need! NSAID’s cause kidney failure and anyone who thinks Tylenol or Aspirin will help pain levels at a 7,8 or above; doesn’t know anything about pain. In fact, they’ve never lived with ongoing chronic pain illnesses that are Incurable.

    Lastly, meditation, grounding, yoga & aqua therapy are nice for PT patients rehabilitating. They’re fine for some people as an addition to pain medication therapy. But they’ll never work alone to end or relieve high amounts of pain for a person who will most likely need pain control forever. It’s just impossible for anyone to go several times weekly and pay for PT forever! Not everyone has access to a pool. Then there are those of us who have open sores from secondary illnesses or from systemic autoimmune and other issues. I’m sorry, but “grounding” is just silly and I’m entitled to my opinions; as are each one of us.

    The above paragraphs are my thoughts about some of the HHS Draft for Pain Best Practices. I’ve got to condense these thoughts so that I can actually leave a comment. With the government shut-down, I’m not sure exactlly what will be happening to this side of things? If I find out any more, I promise to inform all of you.  But lets still get those comments posted before April 1, 2019. If we follow the rules, then hopefully someone will hear us. If we wait to see what happens, it may be too late.

    Remember not to be long winded. My comments will be condensed version of my issues with the HHS Draft. I will post it for you once I’ve gotten it all set up on the .gov website). Tell them who you are and how you feel about the HHS Draft for Pain Best Practices. Let them know that there are many contradicions in this draft. There are so many things wrong with telling someone who is living with #’s 7,8 or 9 on the pain scale, to take NSAID’s or Acetamenophin. Theres definitely something ludicrous about taking opioids away from someone who’s been doing great with them for a decade or two or three. Opioids are harmless, with very low or no side effects. When taken properly as prescribed for long term chronic intractable pain.  On the other hand, if you research Suboxone and Bupenorphrine. They have horrific side effects and you cannot taper off of them slowly because the medication works against you if you attempt to do this. I have  received several written accounts from chronic pain patients who believed in their physicians and blindly took what was offered to help their pain, as a last resort. They thought it would be better than nothing. (*these accounts will be in a future blog post).

    MY OWN COMMENTS:

    I have been living with high amounts of chronic pain on a daily basis since a catastrophic car accident in 2002. I did all that was asked of me as far as having 8 surgeries, 9 years of PT, 3 years of TBI rehab and 3 years worth of pain clinic Biofeedback and  injections to my knees, shoulders, neck and spine.  I am not a candidate for a pain pump, due to CVID. I tried many medications and most either made me deathly ill or just had horrible side effects that added to the pain. My story is not unique. Many thousands of chronic pain patients attempt to do all that they can do, prior to taking opioid pain medication. When pain is lifelong, whether you are old or young; the idea of staying in a state of high chronic daily pain for decades upon decades, is daunting.

    This draft needs much more work. There are too many contradictions.  There especially needs to be more done for the legacy patients who have been doing well on Opioid therapy for chronic pain.  Legacy patients, like me, are being put into “no win” situations. We have had our medications forcibly taken after doing relatively well for years. Forced tapering is bad for anyone.  It is life altering, dangerous and has taken lives. Why would you mess with something that is not broken?  If someone has been doing well, how could you fathom stopping the regimen that gave them some semblance of a life?  Then what? Then these people are unkowingly prescribed horrible meds like Buprenorphrine / Suboxone.  After much research, it seems like most of this manufactured “opioid hysteria” is for money making. That is shameful to use and even kill innocent people just to allow someone else to get rich.

    Why are we making insurance companies pay for all of this acupuncture, massage and yoga etc? Those dont work for long term chronic high pain illnesses where the patient deteriorates as the years go by. The majority of chronic pain patients that I know, say that they don’t want to be poked or even touched, because it hurts too much. This is not a solution. Please try to understand the reality of this situation. Don’t allow people who are living with high emotions, to be in positions of power, in charge of important decisions for the chronically ill. Persons with powerful positions who are greiving & who have lost someone from an overdose shouldn’t be making decisions that affect & involve millions of lives. Most people who have lost a family member or close friend from an overdose, won’t be rational in their decision making. Then they end up punishing an entire community of innocent people because they lost someone (*usually their loved one had overdosed by taking someone else’s prescription or illegal/illicit drugs to numb psychological pain).

    Please stop demonizing Opioids and selling the idea that these inanimate objects cause addictions and drug overdose. Addiction is a gene that someone is born with. It shows up in some people and not others. Opioids do not kill people any more than guns kill people. It is when the opioids or the guns who get into the wrong hands. Then the people behind them choose to make terrible decisions and others then die from drug overdose, homicide or suicide. Please remember that opioids are inexpensive, accessible (or they were) and they have few or no side effects. They have been helping many chronic pain patients for years and years. The medications are not “bad”, it is the people who obtain them illegally and then do things to the medications or with them, other than the intended purpose. That is what is dangerous and killing people. 

    Chronically ill persons living with high pain illnesses cannot take Tylenol or NSAID’s for the rest of their lives without horrible effects and outcomes. Those medications are not made for long term. They cause liver and kindney failure and worse. Also, this same group of ill citizens, are usually unable to do or pay for complimentary therapy treatments for decades at a time. Lastly, please leave the pain care physcians or any physician trained properly in the management of chronic intractable pain, to make the decisions that affect the pain community. These Dr’s have been highly educated for many extra years, in order to learn how to treat chronic pain.  Stop politicians, PROP, Addiction specialists, pharmacists, the CDC, FDA  and insurance companies from making medical decisions that should be left up to the Dr. and patients themselves. Thank you! Sincerely, Suzanne Stewart

    Health experts offer solutions for unintended consequences of opioid crackdown | Fox News


    Hello Luvs,

    This information came to me via an email & so I wanted to share it with you:

    The most urgently needed first step to addressing the misunderstandings about Centers for Disease and Prevention opioid prescribing guidelines, many clinicians and health experts say, is for the agency to clarify – in a high-profile way– what the guidelines were meant, and not meant, to do.
    — Read on www.foxnews.com/health/undoing-the-harm-of-the-response-to-the-opioid-overdose-epidemic-health-experts-suggest-solutions.amp

    Also, here is The Fox News Sequence of Stories Regarding the Opioid Hysteria & Chronic Pain Patients .

    One of several very special physicians, who’ve been helping fight for the rights of Drs and chronic pain patients is Dr Stefan Kertesz, MD. He is quoted in this article on Fox News:

    • “We’re targeting the most vulnerable and sickest people who have been on opioids a long time”.

    Dr. Stefan Kertesz, addiction specialist and professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Medicine.

    Richard Lawhern, a very staunch advocate for chronic pain patient community; is also quoted in this report. He is also advocating for his wife daughter, who live with chronic pain. Here is the quote from Richard aka “Red” Lawhern:

    • “The [CDC opioid guideline] document is fatally flawed and needs to be withdrawn for a major revision in an open public process by qualified experts in community practice for chronic pain treatment, assisted by representatives or advocates from chronic pain communities.”

    — Richard Lawhern

    Lastly, Lauren Deluca, founder of Chronic Illness Advocacy & Awareness Group“,(an ever growing & popular Non profit 501/3c) is quoted here:

    • “Too many flawed approaches and policies targeting pain patients, she said, “will take many years to undo, but we can’t wait years.”
    • She also was quoted as saying this: I myself was a healthy 36-year-old professional embarking on starting a family and in a blink of an eye my life was destroyed due to a denial of care,” Deluca said. “It’s not just about pain; it’s about quality of life. Now we are teaching doctors to ignore pain, which not only leaves the patient suffering but likely will lead to many not getting diagnosed, therefore not only will they not receive pain medications they will not even receive basic care.”

    Please read the entire Fox News series of three stories. They are focused on different aspects of this Opioid Hysteria. Also the lack of treatment and compassionate care for the chronic pain community. *The current story, (3rd in a sequence of three), and the other stories in the sequence can be located above. They are the first two, blue hyperlinks, near the top of this blog post.

    Lastly, I wanted to share something on the same subject but different platform. As I mentioned above, Lauren Deluca is the founder of CIAAG. (a Non Profit 501 c-3. The link to her group website is above, but let me add it here for you as well: Chronic Illnesses Advocacy: & Awareness Group)

    Link to The Documentary Trailer “Untreated: The Healthcare Crisis”

    She recently attended an International Meeting with the United Nations in Vienna. According to her website, Lauren spoke about the inhumane  treatment chronic pain patients are facing due to the ‘Opioid Crisis’ in the United States. 

    Here’s is a link to get you to a YouTube video that shows her speaking in person at the event:

    United Nations Office of Drugs and Crime: 61st Commission on Narcotic Drugs

    Please look over everything, that I’ve tried to present to you in one neat little blog post. I hope that you feel updated and possibly more optimistic about the changes coming in this New Year, 2019.

    Something must be done to change the deplorable conditions that have been put upon the chronic pain community! These great leaders and others, working together as a united front; that is how we are going to help make the changes that we need to see happen this new year!

    Thank you for coming back to visit and read “Tears of Truth”.

    They Fell like Dominos: My License, My Certification, My Profession


    Hello Luvs,This blog post is actually something that was written and sent to me by Dr Mark Ibsen, MD, a physician from Helena, MT. He wrote and says:

    “I had similar experience. 
    Guilty. 
    Not even “guilty until proven innocent”
    Just guilty. 
    Once they set their sights on you,
    You
    Are
    Fkkd. 

    This system is feudal. 
    Primitive. 
    Insensitive. 
    Ineffective. 
    Unchecked, as in no checks or balances. 
    Run by appointed people who are completely unaccountable. 
    No recourse. 
    In the name of “safety”, 
    With no evidence of harm. 
    Like a trip to the Gulag. 

    The key is for patients to realize that doctors have become so vulnerable that we cannot risk ANY exposure to ANY accusations. 
    A risk-averse environment due to the hostile regulatory environment we now have. 

    So, as more and more patients despair over being abandoned by this system, the sacred physician patient relationship is further tarnished. 

    I, for one, will continue to stand by the patients I can, and pray for those I cannot.” 

    Here’s the article that accompanied the email from Dr Mark Ibsen, MD:

    They Fell like Dominos: My License, My Certification, My Profession

    Mark Ibsen MD
    Helena MT