We Are Broken But Strong!


This is for my fellow chronic pain warriors (& me)…fighting the ignorance of those who hold the power to help Cpp’s but they’re pushing massage & other complimentary therapies instead! Opioids clearly help some of the pain community. Let our Drs choose what works best for each individual.

We are in pain & we may be “broken”-but we are worthy, we are strong & we are beautiful! Don’t ever give up! No matter how many people try to put you down or try to “break” you even more!!

Link to my YOUTUBE channel & ASL song cover of “Broken & Beautiful” by Kelly Clarkson

Please feel free to follow me on YouTube @ASLSuzyQ for ASL(American Sign Language) song covers & to learn about Deaf History & Deaf culture.

!!https://youtu.be/9iKWKuaAuuM

HERE ARE SOME LINKS TO MORE OF MY ASL SONG COVERS ABOUT OUR JOURNEYS WITH ALL DIFFERENT KINDS OF PAIN-BUT BEING STRONG THROUGH IT ALL!

1) “This is Me” (from Greatest Showman)

“This is Me” from The Greatest Showman
2) “Speechless” (from Aladdin)

Speechless from Aladdin

3) “Overcomer” from Mandisa

Overcomer by Mandisa

4) “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten

“Fight Song” by Rachel Platten

5). “We All Bleed The Same” by Mandisa

We All Bleed The Same by Mandisa

The final song for this post, is more about how the chronic pain community feels about going into the new year 2020! We don’t know what’s going to happen to us! But we cannot give up fighting for what we need to live some semblance of a life!

6) “Into the Unknown” from Frozen 2 by Idina Mendel/Aurora

Into the Unknown by Idina Mendel & Aurora from Frozen2

There are many more ASL cover songs for when you need to feel strong! Don’t ever give up!

*Please feel free to read a small part of my story in the paragraphs beneath each video

Cholesteatoma, Deafness And ASL


Have you always wanted to learn American Sign Language, but didn’t know where to start?

Well, the best place to learn all of the rules, parameters and the full language, is from a certified, Deaf ASL professor. You should do that if you are able to at all. You should also try to find a Deaf community to hang out with and go to Deaf events. Most of the communities are so amazing and we welcome all levels of ASL. We are excited for you to learn and happy to help. If you want to do that, but you don’t have the money or the venue to take those special classes; the next best place to start, is by heading over to YouTube.

There are several great places online where you can get started learning for no cost. Lifeprint.com is just one example, Handspeak.com is another, but first I wanted to let you know that I do have some “ASL Basics- Vocabulary” lessons at my YouTube channel :

My YouTube Channel @ASLSuzyQ

The important thing is that you don’t just learn vocabulary, although that’s a great place to start. You need to learn about the language, culture, community and its history! I do have several videos that are a little bit about each of these things. I have one video about “How to get a Sign Name”. There are other videos that include “Deaf President Now” movement in the 1980’s. Also the Sign Language community that was living in Martha’s Vinyard, Massachusetts; in the early 18th century until 1952.

I’ve been using ASL since I was 11 years old. I was babysitting and hung out with a Deaf family of 6. I grew up mildly Hard of Hearing due to recurrent ear infections and numerous ruptured ear drums with scarring. I always had to sit in the front of the class because I couldn’t hear well. Later, when my elementary school performed hearing tests, they informed my parents that I needed tubes in my ears because I wasn’t hearing well. I had multiple operations from ages 7 through 12 or 13 years. However, I did not get hearing aids until much later.

I went to Deaf school events, such football games at MSD (Michigan school for Deaf). I fit right in and felt comfortable. I later went to college and a group of 16 Deaf students in the dorms, were my best friends. We watched “General Hospital” with closed captioned. We went dancing and had some great times together!

Later on, I took a break for a year and a half & went to work at a school in Arizona with Deaf preschoolers. I loved that job. I was ecstatic to find out that I’d beaten out several other candidates for that position because of my skills. I also worked at a Deaf relay center called ADARA or “Arizona Deaf Assistance Referral Association” while I was living in Scottsdale.

After working there for about a year and a half, I went back home to finish my degree in Sign language studies & Interpreting. I then got hired as an educational interpreter for a school district and stayed on Interpreting for my Alma Mater. I got married, had two daughters and 8 years later I became a single mom.

I needed to take care of my girls and I immediately got a full time job with full benefits at the University hospital. I was a “Secretarial float” & wore a pager so that I could be notified when Deaf clients/patients needed me to Interpret for them. I loved my job. At that same time, I was an Interpreter at a school district nearby. I also volunteered as a pro tactile interpreter for Deaf/Blind medical screening events a few times each year.

I continued attending workshops at my Alma Mater and one in particular stands out in my memory. I met an amazingly intelligent and kind man who impacted the rest of my life, in a good way! His name is Art Roehrig and he was a Deaf/Blind guest speaker at one of my most memorable workshops. He told stories about how he’d grown up at a residential Deaf school and discovered that he had Ushers Syndrome, when he was a teen. He shared jokes and told us all about how he was living independently. He was a public speaking and later worked at and then retired from Gallaudet University. I still email with my long time friend, Art.

Back in 2002, I was involved in an Catastrophic car accident. A man ran through a red light and I suffered multiple injuries, surgeries and a Traumatic brain injury. I went through 11 surgeries up until now, and 3 years of TBI (brain injury) rehabilitation. I am left with many medical issues, including several high pain chronic illnesses, chronic pain, a stroke, heart attack and I received a permanent dual chamber pacemaker. Since the car accident, I’ve had vision issues, such as “halo vision” and a Convergence Insufficiency. Also, due to the TBI, my hearing declined even more. Prisms were placed in my eyeglasses for quite awhile and I was fitted with two hearing aids for mild.

My hearing declined over the years and the past 4-5 years it was rapidly declining more. I was waiting until my husband retired this past year, to be fitted with new hearing aids. They’re so expensive ($6,000.00), so I had to wait until we got new insurance, that would help with the cost.

When I went for the hearing test, they were concerned because my bilateral hearing loss had very much worsened. The right side was also now a mixed hearing loss and not only sensory-neural. The ENT ordered a CT scan & later in May 2019, I was diagnosed with an auditory tumor, called a Cholesteatoma. I had a very scary & difficult brain/inner ear surgery on July 26, 2019. I got two new & improved digital hearing aids. But they’ve been nothing but trouble with one thing or another since I got them! We had to pay $1,500.00 of the cost plus $150.00 for the ear molds (which now both have split on me and I’ve only had them for a few months). I’m ready to give up on them.

My hearing bones, eardrum & Mastoid were all diseased from the tumor. I received a Tympanoplasty, a Mastoidectomy (called a Tympanomastoidectomy) & a titanium Anvil, a prosthetic ear-bone. I’ve had Vertigo, a tingling, droopy top, right lip & my tongue has no sensation or taste on the right side, since that surgery this Summer. Oh… and I’m Deaf in my right ear and Moderate/severe HoH in my left ear. The deafness isn’t my problem. The fact that I have to live a lifelong battle with a reoccurring tumor, (that’s like a cancer in the way that it grows into the brain & can kill you. Also in the way it can repeatedly grow back); that is my problem! I have to go back in Spring 2020, for another of the same surgery, possibly. The micro Neuro-Otologist surgeon, told me “to be prepared”. This thing is the “Never ending story”. An endless battle that results in multiple painful & scary surgeries and deafness. But as I said, deafness is not the problem. I’ve been part of the Deaf community since age 11. It’s the lifelong battle with more pain & surgeries on top of the current pain…..that is the major issue for me.

If you’d like to follow me in social media, I will leave the links for you, below:

1) http://www.instagram.com/ASLSuzyQ

2) http://www.facebook.com/ASLSuzyQ

3) http://www.twitter.com//ASLSuzyQ

4) http://www.youtube.com/ASLSuzyQ

5) http://www.tiktok.com/asl_suzyq

6) http://www.facebook.com/groups/ASLExpress (*This one is an ASL info, & help group)

My new Hearing aids:

Pondering Pain Awareness Month 2019


Hello All,

I just wanted to let you know that after a year of contemplating what I wanted to say, I wrote my thoughts about what happened between U.S. Pain Foundation & me last year in September 2018.

During my time as a very active Health/Pain Advocate, I achieved a few proud moments that I would really like to share with all of you:

1: I was awarded a “Special Tribute” from the Governor of the state of Michigan (Governor Rick Snyder) in 2016

2: I was the runner up finalist for 2013 WEGO Health “Unsung Hero” Award

3: I have over 42 published articles with the National Pain Report.

4: I was awarded the “US Pain Ambassador of the year award 2016”

5: I was certified as an in-person support group leader & ran a support group in my city for chronic pain & RSD/CRPS

6: I was accredited in a pediatric course for RSD/CRPS via AMEDCO & RSDSA

7: I was appointed to the Board of Directors for the U.S. Pain Foundation

8: I was honored in my hometown, with a Newspaper article

I didn’t do any of what I did, in order to get something in return. But these were amazing rewards after so much time went into my multiple US Pain Foundation projects, my writing, videos, Support Groups, getting proclamations & doing many many Awareness Events for USPF, RSDHope & RSDSA.

The Link to my 1 minute You Tube Video (1 minute long)

I’ve been contemplating writing my side of the story; after severing my ties with the US Pain Foundation in September 2018. I have my story written and published. If you’d like to read it, just go back one blog post before this one.

Below are a few photos that remind me to keep going when I sometimes feel like giving up. I am strong and so are you! We can do this together!

Update On Upcoming Skull-Neuro-Ear Surgery


Hello Everyone !

Above is a 37 second update from my appointment today 6-10-19. Thank you for the outpouring of love ❤️ and support! You’re the Best followers/fans/friends ever!!

**ADDENDUM: SURGERY WILL BE JULY 26, 2019** they scheduled it today…. JUST WANTED TO UPDATE YOU ALL… sending peace, hope, love & Light…

Feel free to email me: tearsoftruth@yahoo.com

Love ❤️

Suzy

Heres my Instagram post today too:
So I saw the Skull base/neuro/Ear surgeon today. I will be having the tumor removed soon. I will have a Tympanoplasty(they’ll reconstruct my eardrum using a “disc” made from cartledge & Skull fascia. This is to prevent this from returning. The 3 little bones needed for hearing are diseased. I’ll be getting possibly prosthetic bones? Also I’ll be having a “Mastoidectomy”! Removal of the diseased part of the mastoid bone. It may make my HOH/ “hearing”worse or same but must do this because if it gets into the brain it can kill me! It’s really scary! Many times people hear nothing afterwards, many times people get extreme dry mouth from damage to salivary glands during surgery. Many people get worse “white noise” or pulsating in ear after surgery. Many people get a strange taste for months or forever. They try to not injure the facial nerves by doing EMG during entire surgery, but it can happen… I’m honestly not scared of the white noise or pulsating or worse/same HoH —but I’m frightened of the brain surgery part. They say they’ll be conservative with my hair being cut but still a 2 finger radius around my ear will be cut… just wanted to update everyone. It will be in 2 months because it’s very slow growing tumor and may have been there my whole life?? But it takes time to get the 4 Drs clearances that I need and also his schedule is booked until then. Now I’m happy to have my Summer but still scared because I now have too much time to be thinking about it all!

Frontal lobotomy for the relief of intractable pain • CERGM


Hello Luvs,

Ohh My Goodness!!! Has our society gone completely mad now? These “sickos” may be taking us back in time to a period when people were given a Frontal lobotomy for the relief of intractable pain!! This is absolutely crazy, when a safe pill, called an “opioid” can help our chronic intractable pain patients. Who in their right mind would choose a frontal lobotomy over a safe an effective pill? The opioids that are getting a bad rap from anti-opioid zealots (read more about them, here: Anti-Opioid Zealots ), are not hurting the legitimate chronic pain patients. People who’ve been prescribed opioids for years, (a decade or even more) & have done well; are NOT addicted! Only about 1% of true chronic pain patients actually ever become “addicted” (Writer Josh Bloom, gives you statistics here: The Opioid Epidemic in 6 Charts, Designed to Deceive You ). It’s not prescription opioids that are the problem! It’s the illegal fentanyl from China & Mexico that are hurting, addicting & killing people! Addiction and dependence are two very different situations. You can find out more information about that here: Addiction & Dependence Are Not The Same

Who are the bad actors? Government, Healthcare or Patients? • CERGM
— Read on cergm.carter-brothers.com/2019/03/28/frontal-lobotomy-for-the-relief-of-intractable-pain/

International Stakeholder Community of Pain Experts and Leaders Call for an Urgent Action on Forced Opioid Tapering | Pain Medicine |Oxford Academic


The aforementioned article proves that there may be hope for the chronic pain community.

In 2016, Andrew Kolodny, (who is co-Director of Opioids policy Research at Brandeis University), along with a group of Addiction specialists & others, went behind closed doors to “invent” & then Implement the 2016 CDC Guidelines regarding the use of Opioids. These were Supposed to be just guidelines for primary care doctors. But they rapidly became “the law” in the eyes of the CDC, DEA, National News Media outlets, Pharmacies & our government officials. Today we even have legitimate, licensed pain management Physicians, heading for the hills! They’re Not following the Hippocratic oath. These physicians are abandoning patients & putting many at high risk, myself included. The way that the chronic pain community has been treated, has been outrageous.

Please feel free to share this article on social media. Print it out and take it with you to your Dr. appointments. Let’s also share it far & wide through the news media channels as well. They’ve been getting it wrong & now need to help change the hysteria & damage that’s been created.

“We, the under signed, stand as a unified community of stakeholders and key opinion leaders deeply concerned about forced opioid tapering in patients receiving lolong-term prescription opioid therapy for chronic pain. This is a large-scale humanitarian issue. Our specific concerns involve:
— Read on academic.oup.com/painmedicine/advance-article/doi/10.1093/pm/pny228/5218985

Kratom, Great Help For Most but Deadly for Some


Hello Luvs,

There was a bit of a debate in one of my groups, regarding Kratom. I know it’s so helpful for many people. I do not think the government should step in and ban this too!! It’s relatively safe but I was discussing that it can and may help loads of chronic pain patients, but not everyone!

Like anything else, you need to discuss it with your Dr ahead of time and please get an EKG first. I have several complicated heart arrhythmias. One is pretty uncommon but most people don’t even know that they have it until they die from “sudden cardiac death” (which is its only symptom). It’s called “Long QT syndrome”. There are many thousands of medications on the “DO NOT TAKE” list with long QT syndrome. The list updates daily and herbs such as Kratom, Turmeric & Ginseng are among the things that people with LQTS cannot take. Please just be safe and I hope you continue to have or get access to whatever kind of pain relief works for you!

But please check out this article I’ve posted below:

**This article is mysteriously gone now? It disappeared from the internet: **Just a little info about Kratom before you take it

**(4-2019)now this is what shows up instead: