Silent No More


I try to never judge anyone. In fact I’m open hearted/minded & I support most everyone. Also, I do have friends and family who have different opinions than mine. I would not stop being friends with someone or disconnect my friendship with them, because they have a different point of view. This has been a been a horrible time for most everyone in the world right now. We each have the right to our opinion & to believe what we believe. If you don’t like me anymore because of what I believe- then I’m sorry. But I’m the same person I’ve always been I’ve not changed. I live in the USA & we have more freedoms than most any other country. I live here & I’m proud that I’m allowed to exercise my right to choose. I’m finding out who my true friends are. I feel closer to God more than ever before. I’m at peace with myself and that’s what matters most. I’ve been “afraid” to post this but I want to, because my husband & I made it. We are silent no more!

#Silentnomore

We All Bleed The Same


I will truly be so relieved when this election is over! I’m not one to be involved in politics nor have I been interested enough in politics over the years. Though I’ve always voted for President of the USA 🇺🇸 ! I am neither a right wing or left wing thinker. I guess I’ve always been “middle of the road” but Right leaning. I have voted for Democratic Presidents in the past. But I have also voted for Republican Presidential candidates. Do you know why that is? It’s the way I live my life too! I don’t see people as different colors! We all bleed the same. Just as I don’t vote red or blue! I don’t vote for a color, but for the Candidate who will help our great free nation, the United States of America.

If you put hatred aside for just a moment, and look at only what the two candidates records look like, without looking at the media headlines; you might get a more clear & factual picture. Pretend that the Presidents Tweets don’t get under your skin or that he does have a pretty much orange spray tan. Because there again you are focusing on the color of someone’s skin!! I mean honestly, many of those persons who Tweet about not wanting our country to be racist, also Tweet about the color of Donald Trumps skin. They even laugh, make fun of him and say nasty remarks. Doesn’t anyone understand that he is a human being first? When the crazy wack jobs were wishing him a horrible demise from C0v1d, that’s all I could think about. He is a human being! He bleeds the same as you and me. He is a husband & a father & most importantly, he is the leader of the free world (or what was the “free world”). Regardless, we do all bleed the same!

Put aside the fact that poor old Mr Biden makes gaffes all the time & he honestly doesn’t realize how much he does not have a clear mind or thought. Forget that he told a black man that “he was not black” if he didn’t vote for him! But wait, aren’t we supposed to not look at the color of a persons skin?

The people who are Saying that the USA is racist, are the same persons who are teaching racism in schools! They’re teaching our children or our grandchildren to hate the color of their skin, while touting that color shouldn’t matter! They are trying to fundamentally change the way our society thinks, by changing the way our children see themselves and the world. The public schools have been teaching systemic racism by telling some of the children to feel guilty for something they had no choice in…..the color of the skin they were born with. This is so wrong it makes my stomach hurt.

There are plenty of people with various skin colors, who have been unjustly brutalized, punished, homeless and poor. In the USA, everyone of every color is given the same blank slate when they’re born. It’s the choices that we make, not the color of our skin, which make us a good human being or not!

What’s happening is so wrong! The hatred, the rioting, looting, burning down buildings & the violence….(mostly in the states run by only one of the parties)

Put hatred aside and vote for what’s best for our country’s future. We have a Constitution for a reason. America has always been strong and proud. The way people are burning, rioting and looting; does not make me feel proud. But when our President says that he will help to keep our constitutional freedoms and liberties in tact; I believe him! He has fulfilled every promise he had made to the American people. Anything not fulfilled would be only because he’s been being blocked, chastised, put down, disrespected etc, for these past 4 years. While he’s been trying to work for “we the people”, the other side has been busy having tantrums & trying to block him at every turn. This included impeachment for a phone call, when they figured out that the Russia hoax wasn’t working! Also they were more worried about impeachment while he was banning travel from China (due to the CCP virus). They called him horrible names when he implemented those safety measures back in January 2020! All the while people like Pelosi, were telling their constituents to go into big crowds. Even Dr Fauci at first, said it was just a flu. They were saying it was safe to go out in large crowds back then! While at the same time saying that our President did not do enough.

In the end, all I can say is that if you “vote blue no matter who”because that’s the way you’ve always done it in the past? This is not the same Democratic Party as in the past! Joe Biden said he would be “the most progressive President in history”!! Look at “the squad”! Those are the far Left progressives!! They want to take away our freedoms, rights and let big government be in control! Just for one minute, Google about what’s happened to Venezuela when they were one of the richest & most free countries approximately 10 years ago. They let the radical Socialist Party take over and now they are one of the poorest countries. Their people are suffering and their freedoms are gone. They are Socialist/Communist country!

Educate yourself about all of the true facts. You will have to watch several various news outlets if you want more than 1-sided news! Check out all of them, Right & Left & then decide! If you still choose government of control versus a government of freedoms, then you have no right to cry when the government takes over every aspect of your (our) lives!

Tomas Jefferson said “any government big enough to give you everything, is big enough to take it all away”!

It’s Ok not to be ok


Hello Luvs,

I found this very awesome post on Facebook and it’s from a page called “It’s Okay Not To Be Okay.”

I have given them the credit for this beautiful piece. The credit for this beautiful woman’s *picture below, goes to the person who took it; and she is also named below.

This woman’s outlook on life, took my breath away! It made me cry! We all need to think more like she does!! When I become sad bcz of chronic illnesses and pain, I’m going to think of this amazing woman! I’m posting her story here, in hopes that it will also help you to be more positive. Especially during rough times such as political unrest and a pandemic! Let’s keep in mind what truly matters.

This 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coiffed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home yesterday. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

“Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room …. just wait.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice;

I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in my life.”

She went on to explain, “Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.”

And with a smile, she said: “Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less, & enjoy every moment.

*Photograph by Karsten Thormaehlen

Let Freedom Ring


As I sit here tonight, I am afraid.  I don’t often say that,  due to my history (*living with a lifetime of abuse, pain, chronic illness, loss, multiple surgeries and more).  I have been  through so much during my 58 years on this earth. I may be a bit anxious and have physical disabilities, but inside, I am a very tenacious and strong woman.  I am a fighter.  I can plainly say that it is not the Coronavirus or COVID-19, that I’m afraid of today. (**even if I were to get this nasty novel Coronavirus, I still would prefer to live free until I am unable to live any longer. I hope and pray that this does not happen, but I know that there is always a chance. I’m willing to take that chance to live a free life outside of my home).  It is those  people who have made “being safe at all costs” more important than living life at all.  I fear those for whom this virus has yeilded power; they are our biggest threat. If you think about living in pre-COVID-19 times, you will remember that waking up every day and going out into the world is not and has never been “SAFE”.  But still we went out every day and lived our lives in “unsafe mode” constantly and consistantly.  Just think about it for a moment.  Getting into the car and driving, is not safe. Getting into an airplane and flying, is not safe.  Going to the mall, where there are a multitude of germs, is not safe. There are people who have gone sky diving, parasailing, skiing, race car driving and even gone to concerts and full football, Baseball or Hockey stadiums in the past.  Yet today, those same people are now still hiding inside of their homes, terrified of something that has a fatality rate lower than expected and close to the Flu’s 0.1%. Study” Coronavirus Fatality Rate Lower than Expected, Close to Flu’s 0.1%

The threat seems to be coming straight from those elected officials who are supposed to be governing at the pleasure of the people! They were not elected into the office of Governor, to become dictators and tyrants.  One of those dictator tyrants, for example, is our Michigan Governor Gretchan Whitmer. At the first sign of trouble; they order us cower in place and then dictate from their basements (or their second or third homes, after ordering the rest of us not to travel to any second vacation homes).  They are fear mongering instead of uniting. They are telling us to stop thinking for ourselves and listen to & follow their outrageous orders. We, the people,  are shrinking instead of standing tall. But standing tall and fighting for freedom is what Americans have done best for hundreds of years. Please let it be known that I do not condone violence.  But peaceful resistance, writing, calling, getting petitions and recalls out there; are proactive steps, made by “Free People”, and I definitely do believe in and support these peaceful actions, especially now.

Our Governor and several other Democratic Governors have made hundreds of executive orders.  They have claimed that they are being driven to these Executve orders by Science and data.  But all of the Science and data that I have read, has been incorrect time and time again. The data has been incorrect, misrepresented, and downright skewed to make things appear much worse than the situation truly is.  The CDC’s own Dr. Fauci has admitted that he has been wrong! He also told us in March 2020, that masks were “not necessary” and that they “won’t protect us” from COVID-19.  But then a few months later, informs us that we ” MUST wear masks” to keep us “Safe”. He also is the same person who told us that these lockdowns were necessary to “flatten the curve”.  Well we did that and flattened the curve on or about mid April 2020. It is now almost June and we are still quarantined and under “orders to stay at home” (except for essential travel for food or necessary items to sustain life etc.).  Now Dr Fauci, our expert Immunologist who has been advising our President and the COVID-19 taskforce, says that a second wave is “NOT INEVITABLE”–and he is “feeling better about” preventing it. 

Many of the same ideas that have been going on inside of my head, were said aloud in a courtroom in Illinois this past week. Judge McHaney, who presided over a case against Governor Pritzker, verbalized and put in court transcripts, many of the things that have been eating away at my inner self.  Here are some of the things that he said:   Mainerv. Pritzker Transcript – Let Liberty Ring :

Since the inception of this insanity, the following regulations, rules or consequences have occurred:”

  • I won’t get COVID if I get an abortion but I will get COVID if I get a colonoscopy
  • Selling pot is essential but selling goods and services at a family-owned business is not.
  • Pot wasn’t even legal and pot dispensaries didn’t even exist in this state until five months ago and, in that five months, they have become essential but a family – owned business in existence for five generations is not.
  • A family of six can pile in their car and drive to Carlyle Lake without contracting COVID but, if they all get in the same boat, they will.
  • We are told that kids rarely contract the virus and sunlight kills it, but summer youth programs, sports programs are cancelled.
  • Four people can drive to the golf course and not get COVID but, if they play in a foursome, they will.
  • If I go to Walmart, I won’t get COVID but, if I go to church, I will.
  • Murderers are released from custody while small business owners are threatened with arrest if they have the audacity to attempt to feed their families.

These are just a few of the examples of rules, regulations, and consequences that are arbitrary, capricious, and completely devoid of anything even remotely approaching common sense.  State’s attorneys in this state, county sheriffs, mayors, city councils and county boards have openly and publicly defied these orders followed by threats to withold funding and revocation of necessary licenses and certifications unless you obey.

Our economy is shut down because of a flu virus with a 98% -plus survival rate.  Doctors and experts say different things weekly.  The defendant cites models in his opposition.  The only thing experts will agree on is that all models are wrong and some are useful.  The Centers for Disease Control now says the virus is not easily spread on surfaces.”

“The defendant in this case orders you to stay home and pronounces that, if you leave the state, you are putting people in danger, but his family members traveled to Florida and Wisconsin because he deems such travel essential.  One initial rationale why the rules don’t apply to him is that his family farm had animals that needed fed.  Try selling that argument to farmers who have had to slaughter their herds because of disruption in the supply chain.”

“When laws do not apply to those who make them, people are not being governed, they are being ruled.  Make no mistake, these executive orders are not laws.  They are royal decrees.  Illinois citizens are not being governed, they are being ruled.  The last time I checked Illinois citizens are also Americans and Americans don’t get ruled!  The last time a monarch tried to rule Americans, a shot was fired that was heard around the world.  That day led to the birth of a nation consensually governed based upon a document which ensures that on this day in this, an American courtroom tyrannical despotism will always lose and liberty, freedom and the constitution will always win”

As I sit here contemplating a smooth ending to this post/article, I realize that #1: our Governor in Michigan, Gretchen Whitmer, has been one of the top tyrannical dictators. She has done and said similar scenarios as the Governor of Illinois. Yet, our Michigan court somehow sided with her? Her family went up North last weekend to her 2nd home. I saw photos of her in a restaurant without a mask and with several other people. Her husband was exposed as trying to get a favor, because he is “the Governor’s husband “. He asked a boat dock company to let him “jump the line” because of who his wife is. She first said it never happened. But later went on Television & explained that “it was his failed attempt at humor”. Which one is it? The same rules have been applied to Michigan, but even more arbitrary and nonsensical. How can Lottery tickets be essential, but a knee replacement which would alleviate great pain, is not? I cannot top those words just above. I would like to reiterate the judges words and say to you….”Liberty, freedom and the constitution should always win”…..thank you for being here.

We Are Broken But Strong!


This is for my fellow chronic pain warriors (& me)…fighting the ignorance of those who hold the power to help Cpp’s but they’re pushing massage & other complimentary therapies instead! Opioids clearly help some of the pain community. Let our Drs choose what works best for each individual.

We are in pain & we may be “broken”-but we are worthy, we are strong & we are beautiful! Don’t ever give up! No matter how many people try to put you down or try to “break” you even more!!

Link to my YOUTUBE channel at ASLSuzyQ

Please feel free to follow me on YouTube @ASLSuzyQ for ASL(American Sign Language) song covers & to learn about Deaf History & Deaf culture.

HERE ARE SOME LINKS TO MORE OF MY ASL SONG COVERS ABOUT OUR JOURNEYS WITH ALL DIFFERENT KINDS OF PAIN-BUT BEING STRONG THROUGH IT ALL!

1) “This is Me” (from Greatest Showman)

“This is Me” by Keala Settles

2) “Speechless” (from Aladdin)
Speechless from Aladdin

3) “Keep Holding On” by Avril Lavigne

Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne

4) “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten
“Fight Song” by Rachel Platten

5). “We All Bleed The Same” by Mandisa
We All Bleed The Same by Mandisa

6) “Into the Unknown” from Frozen 2 by Idina Mendel/Aurora
Into the Unknown by Idina Mendel & Aurora from Frozen2

7). “I Dare You” by Kelly Clarkson

“I Dare You”by Kelly Clarkson

8). “Piece By Piece” by Kelly Clarkson

“Piece by Piece” by Kelly Clarkson

9). “Stand Up” by Cynthia Erivo

“Stand Up” by Cynthia Erivo

10). “Broken & Beautiful”

“Broken & Beautiful” by Kelly Clarkson

There are many more ASL cover songs for when you need to feel strong! Don’t ever give up!

*Please feel free to read a small part of my story in the paragraphs beneath each video

Testimony From A Pain Patient, Re: Suboxone And Bupenorphrine


This is an email that I received from a chronic pain patient, Chuck Malinowski. He wanted to let me know about his experience with Suboxone/Bupenorphrine. He asked me to share it, after he had read my 2-3 articles about these harsh drugs that are being forced upon chronic pain patients at this time. The side effects from these partial opioid agonists, are much worse than our average opioids. While their analgesic effects are very low. They don’t do much in lowering the high impact pain that many people with long term, painful chronic illnesses live with. They have, however been proven to take the edge off of some lower pain illnesses in drug addicts who have to take it bcz they are unable to take “regular” opioids. The data suggests that it only really helps a little bit with addicts who need a bit of pain relief.

All of my research is backed up and linked to articles and research. Some is straight from the manufacturer of Suboxone/Bupenorphrine:

1) Regarding Bupenorphrine & Suboxone

3) About Suboxone, Bupenorphrine & Naloxone

4). More About Suboxone & Bupenorphrine

Here are some links to more articles where I researched information and came to these conclusions:

*************************************

(*This is where I got some of this information):

1. https://www..com/suboxone-creators-shocking-scheme-to-profit-off-of-heroin-addicts

2. https://www.drugs.com/suboxone.html

Articles that Explain The Bad effects of suboxone, bupenorphrine etc.

1.  Why Suboxone Treatment Can Be Harmful

2. The Suboxone Conspiracy

3. the ugly truth about suboxone withdrawals

***Below is an article straight from a patient:

Here is one Testimonial:

“Absolutely do not let your doctor put you on buprenorphine.
DO. NOT. DO. IT.
Unless it is an absolute life-threatening medical emergency, do not ever allow anyone to put you on either buprenorphine or Suboxone, which is a medication made with buprenorphine and even worse, and much more expensive.
Buprenorphine causes such a severe, and rapid physical dependency that after only using a comparatively small dosage, 16mg per day, for a single month it will take you a minimum of four, but probably five or six months of absolute hell to get off of.
This is not a medical opinion, or medical advice, this is the reality of what I am now living with, and have been for more than 10 weeks.
I was put on buprenorphine when my implanted pain pump ran out of morphine sulfate and I went into severe acute opiate withdrawal.
It was basically an emergency situation, the level of medication for my pain pump was the oral equivalent of 160mg of morphine a day, it was severe opiate withdrawal.
I did not have an addiction to opiates because this was intrathecal morphine – intrathecal delivery is when the medication is delivered in liquid form directly into your spinal column – but my body had a tremendous physical dependency.
Even so, I seriously regret being put on buprenorphine even if it was on emergency basis.
I was on 16mg of buprenorphine per day for five weeks after getting out of the hospital following treatment for severe acute opiate withdrawal.
The treatment was being put on Suboxone, later changed to just straight buprenorphine.
Within three weeks I started experiencing severe migraine headaches, ear aches, severe abdominal pains, diarrhea, severe sleep disturbances in the form of horrific nightmares – nightmares so bad I was afraid to go to sleep.
I also experienced drastic changes in body temperature, one minute I felt like I was roasting alive, the next minute I felt like I was freezing, sometimes I felt both at the same time.
I have been trying to get off of buprenorphine for 10 1/2 weeks now. I have been using every trick in the book to manage the horrible withdrawal symptoms. Herbal supplements, herbal teas, detox supplements, vitamins, OTC medications, etc.
And the withdrawal symptoms are truly horrible, even when simply reducing your dosage by 25%. It’s just as hard to cut your dosage from 5 mg a day to 4 mg a day as it is to cut your dosage from 16mg a day to 12mg a day.
This means that the closer you get to 0mg a day the harder it is to reduce your dosage, because you have to keep doing it by a relatively small percentage, 20 or 25% day over a period of two or three weeks.
It is so bad it gets to a point where you have to cut from 2mg per day, to 1mg per day – if you can even tolerate that big a cut at that point – to 1/2 mg per day, to 1/4 mg per day, to 1/8 of a milligram per day – and, according to my doctor, it can take weeks to do it. It took me 3 1/2 weeks of working at reducing my dosage from 6mg a day to 4mg a day before I could tolerate 4mg a day. It was extremely difficult, and painful every step of the way, and even so, I am suffering horribly.
Today is day number seven at 4mg a day. The last week has been unimaginably horrible – the entire process is unimaginably horrible – today is horrible, and I expect that I will feel like this for another week or two before I am stable at 4mg a day. 
Once I am stable – comfortable – at 4 mg a day I can try to start cutting my dosage to 3mg a day, and the entire nightmare process described below starts all over again, although in truth it never really stops it only gets less horrible, until you try and make your next dosage reduction.
At times feeling like I am burning alive, I feel like I am on fire inside and out. I frequently feel like somebody has put some horrible mind-bending drugs in my drinking water. Uncontrollable shakes and tremors. Uncontrollable whole body spasms were every muscle in my body suddenly goes completely rigid. Diarrhea. Severe sleep disturbances from absolutely horrible nightmares – my neuropsychologist tells me that nightmares are very common with buprenorphine. And you only have the nightmares if you’re lucky enough to be able to sleep in the first place. Or if you can even stay asleep because you’re going through such drastic changes in body temperature that you are frequently waking up and turning the fan on, or turning the fan off, or getting rid of the blanket, or pulling the blanket back on. 
Or, if you try and reduce your dosage a little too much, a little too quickly you wake up drenched in sweat with your clothes soaked through.
If you try and reduce your dosage a little too much, a little too quickly all of the above mentioned withdrawal symptoms are magnified several times over and it literally becomes a living hell. It can be as bad as full-blown acute opiate withdrawal from a high level of opiates. These are both things that I have lived through, so I know this from personal experience. 
Simply trying to get off of buprenorphine by slowly reducing my dosage over the last 10 1/2 weeks at a time has unquestionably been the single most difficult, painful and horrific experience of my life, aside from more than 10 years of Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy.
I have advanced Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, also known as Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome. RSD/CRPS – as well as Trigeminal Neuralgia – has been called the most painful condition there is, it is also sometimes referred to as  ‘The Suicide Disease,” so when I say that getting off of buprenorphine is the most horrible and painful thing I have ever experienced that really means something.
I’ve already I’ve been weaning myself off buprenorphine for 10 1/2 weeks and I still have another 12 or 16 weeks to go – if I’m lucky. It may take even longer. And from what I have read, even once I have stopped taking buprenorphine completely, I can expect another month or two of significant withdrawal symptoms in the form of depression, anxiety, lethargy etc.
It is my personal opinion, based on more than 15 weeks of personal experience of being on buprenorphine, and 10 1/2 indescribably horrible weeks of trying to get off of buprenorphine, that this is a horrible medication, and for a chronic pain patient to use it as an alternative to opiates is a horrible mistake.
It is my personal opinion, based on personal experience, that putting chronic pain patients on either buprenorphine or Suboxone and telling them that it is a safe and effective alternative to opiates is a horrible scam.
It is my personal opinion, based on personal experience, that putting chronic pain patients on either buprenorphine or Suboxone and telling them that it is a safe and effective alternative to opiates is not only medically irresponsible, it is an outright lie.
Getting off of 40mg of hydrocodone per day after six months took two weeks and was no more unpleasant than a mild case of the flu.
With buprenorphine, it took 3 1/2 weeks to simply reduce my dosage from 6mg a day to 4mg a day and it was freaking horrible. I am still having extremely unpleasant withdrawal symptoms after being on 4mg a day for a week, and I expect this will continue for at least another week before I am stable.
STAY. THE. HELL. AWAY. FROM. BUPRENORPHINE.

Chuck Malinowski

******************

Justice Served? What’s your opinion?


Here’s a link to Pat Anson’s recent article regarding the sentencing of former CEO & President of The U.S. Pain Foundation, Paul Gileno!

What do you think? Has justice been served?

https://www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2019/10/29/former-ceo-of-us-pain-foundation-sentenced-to-year-in-prison

Trauma Resurfaces The Pain of Yesterday!


Many people go through life and are never held up at gunpoint, robbed or in situations of extreme fear with shooters on a rampage.

I’ve now gone through this twice in my lifetime, thus far. We recently visited Waco, Texas to see our daughter, son in law and two youngest grandchildren (ages 10 months and 3 years). My daughter works at Baylor University and had decided to take us all to the dining commons for dinner on our 2nd night in Texas, (10-2019). We arrived, when suddenly, an alert was texted to her husband’s and her phones. The alert told us to “take shelter immediately & await further instructions”. My daughter started to panic as any mother of two babies would! I was frightened but tried to stay calm for her and the babies. We had to be separated from our husbands. They were sent to the men’s restroom & my daughter, the 2 babies & I were sent to the women’s restroom.

We awaited instructions but we were huddled into the corner of a handicapped stall. Finally, an employee came & told us we were on “lockdown” and we were all moved into the basement of the dining commons. There was stagnant air & it was difficult to breathe. I was very frightened but just continued to keep my daughter & grand babies calm. An employee, the cashier who I’d met as I entered the building; came around looking for me! She said that she was “drawn to me” & felt the need to come and check on me. She was so kind & she brought water downstairs for everyone. The water helped a lot and my granddaughter calmed down. Once we were all together as a family; in the basement, my husband was so good with the kids. We all tried to help them to be unafraid as we waited for the “all clear” alert. After about 55 minutes, we were given that alert and we were free to eat our dinner and go back to their home. We found out that about a half block away from campus, someone was shot. There were 3 people with automatic rifles on the run. The University took great care to see that we were kept safe during this ordeal. The staff was outstanding and very courageous.

It all brought me back to the time when I was 11 years old, in 1973, February. My parents, older brother & I went out after dinner to get my brother some Confirmation shoes. I was over looking at girls shoes, when suddenly I heard my father’s voice. He told me to come over to him. But a man had a gun pointed at my dads head! I didn’t know if I should try to run out of the store to get help? Or if it was not real? I remember saying aloud,”his “Candid Camera”? If I don’t cry, I get a prize?” My dad told me “Suzanne if you ever listen to me, do as I say right this moment! Come here right now!”

So I meandered back to the store room of the shoe store; where my family was held captive; along with another family of 4, a sales clerk and a manager. I saw my mother crying as one of the two men had their guns pointed at her face. The other man had his gun pointed at my dads head. I started to cry when they told my dad to empty his pockets and they proceeded to take my mothers wedding rings.(she’d gotten that engagement ring at age 14).

My dad grabbed the mans arm & said “Don’t you take those rings”! My mom yelled at him to get down and just do whatever he was told. I was crying so hard because the man said to my dad ,”shut up or I’ll put a bullet through your head”! I was really scared and my 13 year old brother stared emotionless as he was gathering every detail.

My mom passed out and the men grabbed my arm as if to take me with them. My mother laid on top of me as I was vomiting by this time! They kept telling my parents to “shut her up – or they would!” Finally, they ripped the phones off of the wall and made us lay down face to the ground. They said that we should wait 20 minutes before getting up. The manager somehow called the police. After they arrived, we told them as many details as we could remember. My brother stayed calm and gave them lots of Information.

After that, my mother was so scared & she didn’t want to go home right away. My Uncle, her brother, lived nearby. We went to his families home so my mom could calm down and feel better. Finally, we went home but I’ve never forgotten that day in my life. I had nightmares for a very long time and never was given a chance to discuss my feelings or fears. Lastly, I was blamed for the robbers taking my mothers wedding rings. My mother told everyone that as she was covering my mouth (because I was afraid, crying & even vomited as they robbers were saying “shut her up, or we will!!”), the robbers saw her rings sparkling and so they stole her precious wedding rings. Even though the robbers took all of the people’s wallets & jewelry etc., somehow it was my fault that those rings were taken off of her finger.

I guess I just wanted to share this with you all because the ordeal in Texas brought back some of those memories. After the robbery when I was only 11 years old, there were many more traumatic events that I experienced. If you know me or if you’ve had the chance to read the early posts &/or password protected posts in this blog; you’d realize how true this is. I was later diagnosed with PTSD, in or around my late 30’s. I finally received the help that was much needed. The Domestic Violence shelter and therapy has helped me over the years, to get past some of my fears. I still suffer today, but not nearly as much as I had in the past. Thank you for letting me share my experiences here with you today.

Suzanne, age 11 years

Pondering Pain Awareness Month 2019


Hello All,

I just wanted to let you know that after a year of contemplating what I wanted to say, I wrote my thoughts about what happened between U.S. Pain Foundation & me last year in September 2018.

During my time as a very active Health/Pain Advocate, I achieved a few proud moments that I would really like to share with all of you:

1: I was awarded a “Special Tribute” from the Governor of the state of Michigan (Governor Rick Snyder) in 2016

2: I was the runner up finalist for 2013 WEGO Health “Unsung Hero” Award

3: I have over 42 published articles with the National Pain Report.

4: I was awarded the “US Pain Ambassador of the year award 2016”

5: I was certified as an in-person support group leader & ran a support group in my city for chronic pain & RSD/CRPS

6: I was accredited in a pediatric course for RSD/CRPS via AMEDCO & RSDSA

7: I was appointed to the Board of Directors for the U.S. Pain Foundation

8: I was honored in my hometown, with a Newspaper article

I didn’t do any of what I did, in order to get something in return. But these were amazing rewards after so much time went into my multiple US Pain Foundation projects, my writing, videos, Support Groups, getting proclamations & doing many many Awareness Events for USPF, RSDHope & RSDSA.

The Link to my 1 minute You Tube Video (1 minute long)

I’ve been contemplating writing my side of the story; after severing my ties with the US Pain Foundation in September 2018. I have my story written and published. If you’d like to read it, just go back one blog post before this one.

Below are a few photos that remind me to keep going when I sometimes feel like giving up. I am strong and so are you! We can do this together!

The True Motivation Behind the Opioid Crisis-Profit off PDMPs and Profiling, Private Data Theft


Hello Luvs!

I just wanted to bring your attention to this insightful article. If one stops to persue the state laws on the books regarding PDMPs (prescription drug monitoring programs), there is an abundance of fascinating language buried in our very own state statutes. These…
— Read on medium.com/@heatherzamm/the-true-motivation-behind-the-opioid-crisis-profit-off-pdmps-and-profiling-private-data-theft-4b0ffb10e9d3