We Are Broken But Strong!


This is for my fellow chronic pain warriors (& me)…fighting the ignorance of those who hold the power to help Cpp’s but they’re pushing massage & other complimentary therapies instead! Opioids clearly help some of the pain community. Let our Drs choose what works best for each individual.

We are in pain & we may be “broken”-but we are worthy, we are strong & we are beautiful! Don’t ever give up! No matter how many people try to put you down or try to “break” you even more!!

Link to “This is Me” (ASL Cover- Greatest Showman)

Link to my YOUTUBE channel & ASL song cover of “Broken & Beautiful” by Kelly Clarkson

Please feel free to follow me on YouTube @ASLSuzyQ for ASL(American Sign Language) song covers & to learn about Deaf History & Deaf culture.

!!https://youtu.be/9iKWKuaAuuM

HERE ARE SOME LINKS TO MORE OF MY ASL SONG COVERS ABOUT OUR JOURNEYS WITH ALL DIFFERENT KINDS OF PAIN-BUT BEING STRONG THROUGH IT ALL!

1) “This is Me” (from Greatest Showman)

2) “Speechless” (from Aladdin)

Speechless from Aladdin

3) “Overcomer” from Mandisa

Overcomer by Mandisa

4) “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten

“Fight Song” by Rachel Platten

5). “We All Bleed The Same” by Mandisa

We All Bleed The Same by Mandisa

The final song for this post, is more about how the chronic pain community feels about going into the new year 2020! We don’t know what’s going to happen to us! But we cannot give up fighting for what we need to live some semblance of a life!

6) “Into the Unknown” from Frozen 2 by Idina Mendel/Aurora

Into the Unknown by Idina Mendel & Aurora from Frozen2

There are many more ASL cover songs for when you need to feel strong! Don’t ever give up!

*Please feel free to read a small part of my story in the paragraphs beneath each video

Testimony From A Pain Patient, Re: Suboxone And Bupenorphrine


This is an email that I received from a chronic pain patient, Chuck Malinowski. He wanted to let me know about his experience with Suboxone/Bupenorphrine. He asked me to share it, after he had read my 2-3 articles about these harsh drugs that are being forced upon chronic pain patients at this time. The side effects from these partial opioid agonists, are much worse than our average opioids. While their analgesic effects are very low. They don’t do much in lowering the high impact pain that many people with long term, painful chronic illnesses live with. They have, however been proven to take the edge off of some lower pain illnesses in drug addicts who have to take it bcz they are unable to take “regular” opioids. The data suggests that it only really helps a little bit with addicts who need a bit of pain relief.

All of my research is backed up and linked to articles and research. Some is straight from the manufacturer of Suboxone/Bupenorphrine:

1) Regarding Bupenorphrine & Suboxone

3) About Suboxone, Bupenorphrine & Naloxone

4). More About Suboxone & Bupenorphrine

Here are some links to more articles where I researched information and came to these conclusions:

*************************************

(*This is where I got some of this information):

1. https://www..com/suboxone-creators-shocking-scheme-to-profit-off-of-heroin-addicts

2. https://www.drugs.com/suboxone.html

Articles that Explain The Bad effects of suboxone, bupenorphrine etc.

1.  Why Suboxone Treatment Can Be Harmful

2. The Suboxone Conspiracy

3. the ugly truth about suboxone withdrawals

***Below is an article straight from a patient:

Here is one Testimonial:

“Absolutely do not let your doctor put you on buprenorphine.
DO. NOT. DO. IT.
Unless it is an absolute life-threatening medical emergency, do not ever allow anyone to put you on either buprenorphine or Suboxone, which is a medication made with buprenorphine and even worse, and much more expensive.
Buprenorphine causes such a severe, and rapid physical dependency that after only using a comparatively small dosage, 16mg per day, for a single month it will take you a minimum of four, but probably five or six months of absolute hell to get off of.
This is not a medical opinion, or medical advice, this is the reality of what I am now living with, and have been for more than 10 weeks.
I was put on buprenorphine when my implanted pain pump ran out of morphine sulfate and I went into severe acute opiate withdrawal.
It was basically an emergency situation, the level of medication for my pain pump was the oral equivalent of 160mg of morphine a day, it was severe opiate withdrawal.
I did not have an addiction to opiates because this was intrathecal morphine – intrathecal delivery is when the medication is delivered in liquid form directly into your spinal column – but my body had a tremendous physical dependency.
Even so, I seriously regret being put on buprenorphine even if it was on emergency basis.
I was on 16mg of buprenorphine per day for five weeks after getting out of the hospital following treatment for severe acute opiate withdrawal.
The treatment was being put on Suboxone, later changed to just straight buprenorphine.
Within three weeks I started experiencing severe migraine headaches, ear aches, severe abdominal pains, diarrhea, severe sleep disturbances in the form of horrific nightmares – nightmares so bad I was afraid to go to sleep.
I also experienced drastic changes in body temperature, one minute I felt like I was roasting alive, the next minute I felt like I was freezing, sometimes I felt both at the same time.
I have been trying to get off of buprenorphine for 10 1/2 weeks now. I have been using every trick in the book to manage the horrible withdrawal symptoms. Herbal supplements, herbal teas, detox supplements, vitamins, OTC medications, etc.
And the withdrawal symptoms are truly horrible, even when simply reducing your dosage by 25%. It’s just as hard to cut your dosage from 5 mg a day to 4 mg a day as it is to cut your dosage from 16mg a day to 12mg a day.
This means that the closer you get to 0mg a day the harder it is to reduce your dosage, because you have to keep doing it by a relatively small percentage, 20 or 25% day over a period of two or three weeks.
It is so bad it gets to a point where you have to cut from 2mg per day, to 1mg per day – if you can even tolerate that big a cut at that point – to 1/2 mg per day, to 1/4 mg per day, to 1/8 of a milligram per day – and, according to my doctor, it can take weeks to do it. It took me 3 1/2 weeks of working at reducing my dosage from 6mg a day to 4mg a day before I could tolerate 4mg a day. It was extremely difficult, and painful every step of the way, and even so, I am suffering horribly.
Today is day number seven at 4mg a day. The last week has been unimaginably horrible – the entire process is unimaginably horrible – today is horrible, and I expect that I will feel like this for another week or two before I am stable at 4mg a day. 
Once I am stable – comfortable – at 4 mg a day I can try to start cutting my dosage to 3mg a day, and the entire nightmare process described below starts all over again, although in truth it never really stops it only gets less horrible, until you try and make your next dosage reduction.
At times feeling like I am burning alive, I feel like I am on fire inside and out. I frequently feel like somebody has put some horrible mind-bending drugs in my drinking water. Uncontrollable shakes and tremors. Uncontrollable whole body spasms were every muscle in my body suddenly goes completely rigid. Diarrhea. Severe sleep disturbances from absolutely horrible nightmares – my neuropsychologist tells me that nightmares are very common with buprenorphine. And you only have the nightmares if you’re lucky enough to be able to sleep in the first place. Or if you can even stay asleep because you’re going through such drastic changes in body temperature that you are frequently waking up and turning the fan on, or turning the fan off, or getting rid of the blanket, or pulling the blanket back on. 
Or, if you try and reduce your dosage a little too much, a little too quickly you wake up drenched in sweat with your clothes soaked through.
If you try and reduce your dosage a little too much, a little too quickly all of the above mentioned withdrawal symptoms are magnified several times over and it literally becomes a living hell. It can be as bad as full-blown acute opiate withdrawal from a high level of opiates. These are both things that I have lived through, so I know this from personal experience. 
Simply trying to get off of buprenorphine by slowly reducing my dosage over the last 10 1/2 weeks at a time has unquestionably been the single most difficult, painful and horrific experience of my life, aside from more than 10 years of Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy.
I have advanced Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, also known as Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome. RSD/CRPS – as well as Trigeminal Neuralgia – has been called the most painful condition there is, it is also sometimes referred to as  ‘The Suicide Disease,” so when I say that getting off of buprenorphine is the most horrible and painful thing I have ever experienced that really means something.
I’ve already I’ve been weaning myself off buprenorphine for 10 1/2 weeks and I still have another 12 or 16 weeks to go – if I’m lucky. It may take even longer. And from what I have read, even once I have stopped taking buprenorphine completely, I can expect another month or two of significant withdrawal symptoms in the form of depression, anxiety, lethargy etc.
It is my personal opinion, based on more than 15 weeks of personal experience of being on buprenorphine, and 10 1/2 indescribably horrible weeks of trying to get off of buprenorphine, that this is a horrible medication, and for a chronic pain patient to use it as an alternative to opiates is a horrible mistake.
It is my personal opinion, based on personal experience, that putting chronic pain patients on either buprenorphine or Suboxone and telling them that it is a safe and effective alternative to opiates is a horrible scam.
It is my personal opinion, based on personal experience, that putting chronic pain patients on either buprenorphine or Suboxone and telling them that it is a safe and effective alternative to opiates is not only medically irresponsible, it is an outright lie.
Getting off of 40mg of hydrocodone per day after six months took two weeks and was no more unpleasant than a mild case of the flu.
With buprenorphine, it took 3 1/2 weeks to simply reduce my dosage from 6mg a day to 4mg a day and it was freaking horrible. I am still having extremely unpleasant withdrawal symptoms after being on 4mg a day for a week, and I expect this will continue for at least another week before I am stable.
STAY. THE. HELL. AWAY. FROM. BUPRENORPHINE.

Chuck Malinowski

******************

Justice Served? What’s your opinion?


Here’s a link to Pat Anson’s recent article regarding the sentencing of former CEO & President of The U.S. Pain Foundation, Paul Gileno!

What do you think? Has justice been served?

https://www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2019/10/29/former-ceo-of-us-pain-foundation-sentenced-to-year-in-prison

Trauma Resurfaces The Pain of Yesterday!


Many people go through life and are never held up at gunpoint, robbed or in situations of extreme fear with shooters on a rampage.

I’ve now gone through this twice in my lifetime, thus far. We recently visited Waco, Texas to see our daughter, son in law and two youngest grandchildren (ages 10 months and 3 years). My daughter works at Baylor University and had decided to take us all to the dining commons for dinner on our 2nd night in Texas, (10-2019). We arrived, when suddenly, an alert was texted to her husband’s and her phones. The alert told us to “take shelter immediately & await further instructions”. My daughter started to panic as any mother of two babies would! I was frightened but tried to stay calm for her and the babies. We had to be separated from our husbands. They were sent to the men’s restroom & my daughter, the 2 babies & I were sent to the women’s restroom.

We awaited instructions but we were huddled into the corner of a handicapped stall. Finally, an employee came & told us we were on “lockdown” and we were all moved into the basement of the dining commons. There was stagnant air & it was difficult to breathe. I was very frightened but just continued to keep my daughter & grand babies calm. An employee, the cashier who I’d met as I entered the building; came around looking for me! She said that she was “drawn to me” & felt the need to come and check on me. She was so kind & she brought water downstairs for everyone. The water helped a lot and my granddaughter calmed down. Once we were all together as a family; in the basement, my husband was so good with the kids. We all tried to help them to be unafraid as we waited for the “all clear” alert. After about 55 minutes, we were given that alert and we were free to eat our dinner and go back to their home. We found out that about a half block away from campus, someone was shot. There were 3 people with automatic rifles on the run. The University took great care to see that we were kept safe during this ordeal. The staff was outstanding and very courageous.

It all brought me back to the time when I was 11 years old, in 1973, February. My parents, older brother & I went out after dinner to get my brother some Confirmation shoes. I was over looking at girls shoes, when suddenly I heard my father’s voice. He told me to come over to him. But a man had a gun pointed at my dads head! I didn’t know if I should try to run out of the store to get help? Or if it was not real? I remember saying aloud,”his “Candid Camera”? If I don’t cry, I get a prize?” My dad told me “Suzanne if you ever listen to me, do as I say right this moment! Come here right now!”

So I meandered back to the store room of the shoe store; where my family was held captive; along with another family of 4, a sales clerk and a manager. I saw my mother crying as one of the two men had their guns pointed at her face. The other man had his gun pointed at my dads head. I started to cry when they told my dad to empty his pockets and they proceeded to take my mothers wedding rings.(she’d gotten that engagement ring at age 14).

My dad grabbed the mans arm & said “Don’t you take those rings”! My mom yelled at him to get down and just do whatever he was told. I was crying so hard because the man said to my dad ,”shut up or I’ll put a bullet through your head”! I was really scared and my 13 year old brother stared emotionless as he was gathering every detail.

My mom passed out and the men grabbed my arm as if to take me with them. My mother laid on top of me as I was vomiting by this time! They kept telling my parents to “shut her up – or they would!” Finally, they ripped the phones off of the wall and made us lay down face to the ground. They said that we should wait 20 minutes before getting up. The manager somehow called the police. After they arrived, we told them as many details as we could remember. My brother stayed calm and gave them lots of Information.

After that, my mother was so scared & she didn’t want to go home right away. My Uncle, her brother, lived nearby. We went to his families home so my mom could calm down and feel better. Finally, we went home but I’ve never forgotten that day in my life. I had nightmares for a very long time and never was given a chance to discuss my feelings or fears. Lastly, I was blamed for the robbers taking my mothers wedding rings. My mother told everyone that as she was covering my mouth (because I was afraid, crying & even vomited as they robbers were saying “shut her up, or we will!!”), the robbers saw her rings sparkling and so they stole her precious wedding rings. Even though the robbers took all of the people’s wallets & jewelry etc., somehow it was my fault that those rings were taken off of her finger.

I guess I just wanted to share this with you all because the ordeal in Texas brought back some of those memories. After the robbery when I was only 11 years old, there were many more traumatic events that I experienced. If you know me or if you’ve had the chance to read the early posts &/or password protected posts in this blog; you’d realize how true this is. I was later diagnosed with PTSD, in or around my late 30’s. I finally received the help that was much needed. The Domestic Violence shelter and therapy has helped me over the years, to get past some of my fears. I still suffer today, but not nearly as much as I had in the past. Thank you for letting me share my experiences here with you today.

Suzanne, age 11 years

Pondering Pain Awareness Month 2019


Hello All,

I just wanted to let you know that after a year of contemplating what I wanted to say, I wrote my thoughts about what happened between U.S. Pain Foundation & me last year in September 2018.

During my time as a very active Health/Pain Advocate, I achieved a few proud moments that I would really like to share with all of you:

1: I was awarded a “Special Tribute” from the Governor of the state of Michigan (Governor Rick Snyder) in 2016

2: I was the runner up finalist for 2013 WEGO Health “Unsung Hero” Award

3: I have over 42 published articles with the National Pain Report.

4: I was awarded the “US Pain Ambassador of the year award 2016”

5: I was certified as an in-person support group leader & ran a support group in my city for chronic pain & RSD/CRPS

6: I was accredited in a pediatric course for RSD/CRPS via AMEDCO & RSDSA

7: I was appointed to the Board of Directors for the U.S. Pain Foundation

8: I was honored in my hometown, with a Newspaper article

I didn’t do any of what I did, in order to get something in return. But these were amazing rewards after so much time went into my multiple US Pain Foundation projects, my writing, videos, Support Groups, getting proclamations & doing many many Awareness Events for USPF, RSDHope & RSDSA.

The Link to my 1 minute You Tube Video (1 minute long)

I’ve been contemplating writing my side of the story; after severing my ties with the US Pain Foundation in September 2018. I have my story written and published. If you’d like to read it, just go back one blog post before this one.

Below are a few photos that remind me to keep going when I sometimes feel like giving up. I am strong and so are you! We can do this together!

The True Motivation Behind the Opioid Crisis-Profit off PDMPs and Profiling, Private Data Theft


Hello Luvs!

I just wanted to bring your attention to this insightful article. If one stops to persue the state laws on the books regarding PDMPs (prescription drug monitoring programs), there is an abundance of fascinating language buried in our very own state statutes. These…
— Read on medium.com/@heatherzamm/the-true-motivation-behind-the-opioid-crisis-profit-off-pdmps-and-profiling-private-data-theft-4b0ffb10e9d3

Tides Turning For Opioid Patients?


Hello Luvs,

This PDF was sent to me by my friend & fellow advocate, David Cole. I wanted to find a good way to share it with everyone. Please let me know if you have any problems at all with sharing it.

Thank you and I wish each of you peace, Hope, love & Light. Let’s hope that the people in Washington state will help to share their awareness with the other 49 states. I truly pray that someone who is capable and willing to help the chronic intractable & high impact pain community reads this File. I hope that someone will help us. Please start to once again take care of the sick, disabled and those living with horrible daily pain.

Please read this file about the tide starting to turn in the state of Washington for the pain community. Our voices are finally being heard. Share this everywhere far and wide with News Media & On Social Media! We deserve to live some semblance of a life; same as everyone else. We are not “less than” other people who haven’t gone through tragedy or illness. We are worth it!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/tibqrx8clichs39/Opioid-PatientsINS2019-02.pdf?dl=0