They Fell like Dominos: My License, My Certification, My Profession


Hello Luvs,This blog post is actually something that was written and sent to me by Dr Mark Ibsen, MD, a physician from Helena, MT. He wrote and says:

“I had similar experience. 
Guilty. 
Not even “guilty until proven innocent”
Just guilty. 
Once they set their sights on you,
You
Are
Fkkd. 

This system is feudal. 
Primitive. 
Insensitive. 
Ineffective. 
Unchecked, as in no checks or balances. 
Run by appointed people who are completely unaccountable. 
No recourse. 
In the name of “safety”, 
With no evidence of harm. 
Like a trip to the Gulag. 

The key is for patients to realize that doctors have become so vulnerable that we cannot risk ANY exposure to ANY accusations. 
A risk-averse environment due to the hostile regulatory environment we now have. 

So, as more and more patients despair over being abandoned by this system, the sacred physician patient relationship is further tarnished. 

I, for one, will continue to stand by the patients I can, and pray for those I cannot.” 

Here’s the article that accompanied the email from Dr Mark Ibsen, MD:

They Fell like Dominos: My License, My Certification, My Profession

Mark Ibsen MD
Helena MT

Medicare Patients Face New Rx Opioid Rules in 2019 — Pain News Network


Hello Luvs,

I received this information from Pat Anson of the Pain News Network. This information may prove to be very valuable to many of the chronic pain community. I wanted to be sure that you saw this. I also wanted to be sure to share it with you all. This is the new Medicare 2019 rules regarding Opioids.

Medicare Patients Face New Rx Opioid Rules in 2019 — Pain News Network
— Read on www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2018/12/31/medicare-patients-face-new-rx-opioid-rules-in-2019

I hope your 2019 will be Blessed and peaceful. Sending light and love your way.

International Stakeholder Community of Pain Experts and Leaders Call for an Urgent Action on Forced Opioid Tapering | Pain Medicine |Oxford Academic


The aforementioned article proves that hopefully, there of the chronic pain community.

In 2016, Andrew Kolodny, (who is co-Director of Opioids policy Research at Brandeis University), along with a group of Addiction specialists & others, went behind closed doors to “invent” & then Implement the 2016 CDC Guidelines regarding the use of Opioids. These were Supposed to be just guidelines for primary care doctors. But they rapidly became “the law” in the eyes of the CDC, DEA, National News Media outlets, Pharmacies & our government officials. Today we even have legitimate, licensed pain management Physicians, heading for the hills! They’re Not following the Hippocratic oath. These physicians are abandoning patients & putting many at high risk, myself included. The way that the chronic pain community has been treated, has been outrageous.

Please feel free to share this article on social media. Print it out and take it with you to your Dr. appointments. Let’s also share it far & wide through the news media channels as well. They’ve been getting it wrong & now need to help change the hysteria & damage that’s been created.

“We, the under signed, stand as a unified community of stakeholders and key opinion leaders deeply concerned about forced opioid tapering in patients receiving lolong-term prescription opioid therapy for chronic pain. This is a large-scale humanitarian issue. Our specific concerns involve:
— Read on academic.oup.com/painmedicine/advance-article/doi/10.1093/pm/pny228/5218985

Making Peace With My Pain?


*********PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS MY ORIGINAL ARTICLE!!! WHAT GOT POSTED IN “NTL PAIN REPORT” TODAY (9-22-18), WAS EDITED AND CHANGED INTO SOMETHING ELSE. I’M NOT A WHINER NOR AM I WEAK! I HAVE A VOICE & I’M VERY STRONG!! I SENT IN SOMETHING WRITTEN FROM MY HEART & SOUL. IT’S BEEN CHANGED INTO SOMETHING UNRECOGNIZABLE! THOSE ARE NOT MY WORDS OR THOUGHTS AT ALL. THIS IS MY ORIGINAL ARTICLE AND BELOW, YOU CAN READ MY OWN THOUGHTS AND WORDS:

Hello Luvs,

In this time of uncertainty for chronic and/or intractable pain patients please stop telling us to “make peace with our pain”. Until you have walked in my shoes, do not try to dictate what is best for my situation. If you hurt your back momentarily or you have several aches and pains, then by all means, use “mindfulness”, “accept your pain” and then “make peace with it”. I don’t care what you do with it honestly, but stop telling me/us to “make peace” with now, uncontrolled chronic daily pain at a 7/8, knowing that it’s forever. My health decline has continued year after year with increasing medical issues piled on top of the old injuries; going on 16 years now.

Unless you actually live with daily intractable pain, don’t to tell me/us how to manage it. If you’re a writer, motivational speaker or a politician, stop giving advice when you don’t truly understand the nature of living with 8 chronic pain illnesses. If you have one chronic illness and “accepting the pain” or “making peace” with it works for you, then by all means, go for it!

Let me explain for those who don’t really know the person they are preaching to on social media. It’s not always Psychological, hysterical or a history of abuse that causes ongoing pain. Sometimes things just happen that cause a very strong person to live with very high pain. When that pain gets more complicated and worsens as time goes by, and it is forever; that is when acceptance, making peace with your pain, grounding and mindfulness don’t work very well.

I was a very active single mom with two young daughters. I had a career as an Interpreter for the Deaf at a major University hospital and school districts. I taught aerobics and was the jump rope team’s coach at the Elementary school. I visited different schools to share Deaf culture and American sign language. One day a man ran a red light and changed all of that for me. Afterwards, I worked very hard at 3 years in TBI rehab, 9 years of PT/OT, driver rehabilitation and speech therapy. I ended up with 2 hearing aids and prisms in my glasses for a long time. For 3 years I refused opioid medication due to the stigma or “taboo” of taking it. I did Biofeedback and the red line was “off the charts” showing that my pain was very high and I needed some other intervention. I was the woman who graduated with honors, never drank or smoked. I was not taking that medication. I worked with a pain Psychologist at a pain clinic. I had several epidural nerve blocks, trigger point injections, cortisone injections and other medications(*most either made me violently ill or I was allergic). I endured 8+ surgeries, including 2 screws and a pacemaker with a cardio messenger box next to my bed. They told me to “trust them” and take the opioid pain medication or I was going to stay in that hospital bed in my home. I finally accepted the fact that just as people with hearing loss need hearing aids and those with vision issues wear glasses and Diabetics take insulin; I needed to take pain medication to give me back my life, or some semblance of a life.

For 13 years, I’ve been as active as I can be. I don’t lay in my bed and wallow or feel sorry for myself. I have been a US Pain Ambassador, on the Board of Directors and even won “U.S. Pain Ambassador of the year 2016”. I’m a patient Leader for WEGO Health, have been on 3 different radio shows and I have been a mentor for newly Diagnosed CRPS patients. I have a popular blog and write for National Pain Report. I’ve done many fundraisers, awareness events and still currently lead several online groups while helping several non-profit groups with whatever they need help doing. I live with several high pain chronic illnesses, including: systemic/full body CRPS, EDS type 4/vascular, Chiari (with migraines), Right Long Thoracic Nerve Neuropathy, Autonomic Neuropathy, R.A., Dysautonomia/POTs, Coronary Spasms (Prinzmetal Angina), Degenerative Disc Disease with multiple herniate and bulging discs, Spinal Stenosis, Chronic erosive Gastritis, Gastroparesis, SIBO and multiple heart issues.

I’m at 25% of of what I was taking for the past 13 years. Two of my specialists wrote letters on my behalf, to my pain Dr.; explaining that with the multiple illnesses that I live with, the patch is and has been proven to be the very best thing that works for my pain. One of my specialist physicians wrote “why break what doesn’t need fixed? She’s been active and doing so well and this could land her inpatient and in declining health”. My pain Dr. said “this is Bullshit, his license is not any better than mine. If he wants you to have the patch then let him prescribe it”.

I continue to be quickly tapered against my will. I’m in my “Lazy Boy” recliner 16-18 hours every day.

This is what my “forever” is looking like now. I went from teaching aerobics, American Sign Language, being the Elementary schools’, Jump Rope Team coach and an active mother and then grandmother, to “living” in a recliner daily. I’m not focusing on the pain, in fact I’ve done everything to not focus on it. I went through 43 hours of labor and then a C-section, twice; while being sent home with Motrin 800 per my own choice. I’m not a “baby”, nor am I an “addict”. In fact I have a letter from the Pain Psychologist, stating that I “do not have an addictive personality”. So stop telling me to plant my feet (with open sores on them, by the way) into the earth to practice “grounding”. Don’t tell me to “make peace with my pain” or accept it; unless or until you have walked one full day in my shoes! If you haven’t experienced pain on these levels, then stop preaching to the choir. I, for one am getting very tired of defending myself and the rest of the pain community on the subject of opioid pain medication therapy. It does work for some of us just as Insulin helps the Diabetic to continue living.

**The Article Ed edited & changed totally & which appeared to be written by an illiterate 5th grader. Is in its entirety at the Ntl pain Report but for your convenience I’ve recopied what Ed Coghlan wrote in place of what I had sent to him:

Making Peace With Pain (by: Ed Coghlan)

Please stop telling me to make peace with my pain.

I can’t right now and haven’t been able to do for many years.

And it’s getting worse.

My health decline has continued year after year with increasing medical issues piled on top of the old injuries; going on 16 years now. If you have daily intractable pain, you know what I’m talking about.

It is not always psychological, hysterical or a history of abuse that causes ongoing pain. Sometimes you just hurt—a lot.

I was once a very active single mom with two young daughters. I had a career as an Interpreter for the Deaf at a major University hospital and school districts. I taught aerobics and was the jump rope team’s coach at the Elementary school. I visited different schools to share Deaf culture and American sign language.

Then a man ran a red light and changed my life. I have endured 8+ surgeries, including 2 screws and a pacemaker with a cardio messenger box next to my bed. They told me to “trust them” and take the opioid pain medication or I was going to stay in that hospital bed in my home. I said ok

For 13 years, I’ve been as active as I can be. I have been active with a national pain advocacy group and I contribute to the National Pain Report and have worked to advance the wants and desires of the millions of people like me—people who suffer from this cruel condition.

This “reduction” in opioid prescribing has hit me hard. I’m taking  about 25% of what I was taking for the past thirteen years. Specialists who treat me have written letters to my pain doctor explaining that with the multiple illnesses I live with, the patch is the best thing for me. My pain doctor, feeling the pressure of the CDC guideline, refused to do it.

Now I’m in a “Lazy Boy” recliner 16 hours a day because I’m being tapered against my will.

Not what I want. Not what I’ve been.

I could tell you much more, but if you’re like me, you know.

It’s not fair.

Suzanne Stewart is a chronic pain patient (and advocate) who lives in Michigan. She is a contributor to the National Pain Report.

***Lastly,

This Bio which is usually on all of my NPR articles, is missing today….. here’s what it normally says:

Suzanne has lived with a Systemic CRPS & several other chronic pain illnesses since a MVA in 2002. Prior to being disabled from chronic pain, she was an Interpreter for the Deaf at a hospital & worked with Deaf children. Since 2005, Suzanne’s been a patient Health advocate, support group leader & Mentor.  She continues doing these things today, but also does public speaking, awareness events and she’s a Writer/blogger & an Ambassador for the U.S. Pain Foundation. The statements and opinions that she provides are her own and should not be taken as the stance, position or viewpoint of the U.S. Pain Foundation. For entertainment she creates advocacy videos & uplifting ASL cover song videos on You tube and she writes in her own blog Tears Of Truth. You can follow her here: TearsofTruth.com

This was my photo + Bio on them”staff columnists” Page under the “Our Team” Tab.

This is the email I rec’d from Ed Coghlan, after I was trying to let him know how upset I was that he “gutted” my (this) article. He added words that I hadn’t written. He changed the powerful message that was in my original story; to one of weakness and whining! Needless to say, I don’t want to write for someone that would call this an “edit”. Then send me an email at 12:05 AM, saying that he was going to publish this article in the morning (6 hours later); without ever allowing me to see the “edits”! I finally asked if I could please see the final copy and about 1:00-1:30 AM, I received the skeleton of my former original article. I begged him not to post it as it was. He’d gone to bed and scheduled it to post at 6:00 am! I was getting all kinds of comments from persons who recognize my writing when they see it and when they don’t! The rest is history!

PS- Btw, he couldn’t get hold of me on Saturday because I have recently been quickly tapered against my will; from my LA/ER pain medication that I’d been taking since 2005. I was in horrible pain from the added emotional strain from my resignation from US Pain Foundation Board of Directors & from USPF. Then the very next day this happened.

My husband called Ed in my place because I’m conscientious and would never just not respond. He told my husband that “he was not comfortable talking with him”! Well he’s also my caregiver and I wasn’t able to speak at that point. It all came tumbling down!

More About Bupenorphrine – Suboxone


This information is “straight from the horses mouth”…please read this chronic pain patients horrific experience (he wrote this after reading my last blog post in one of my support groups):

Absolutely, I mean absolutely do not ever let anyone put you on Suboxone or buprenorphine – the primary component of Suboxone – when they try and shove you off of opiates because the stuff is absolute poison.

When my pain pump ran out of morphine sulfate after I lost my pain management doctor, thanks to the new CDC guidelines, I went into acute opiate withdrawal and ended up in the hospital. In the hospital they were supposed to detox me from opiates, they did not. Instead they pulled a really shitty bait and switch, and put me on Suboxone. Suboxone is extremely addictive and 10 times harder to get off of than conventional opiates, and much, much uglier.

I know this from personal experience. Getting off of Suboxone or buprenorphine – its active component – is an absolute nightmare.

For example: I can take 15 mg of hydrocodone – hydrocodone is the opiate in medications like Vicodin and Norco – per day for six months solid and I can just stop taking it, cold turkey, and I’ll feel kinda crappy for three or four days, I’m off of it, end of story.

After a single month of taking 16 mg of Suboxone per day, I have now been trying to wean myself off of it for nine weeks, every step of the way has been absolute hell, and it will take me at least another 2 to 3, possibly even four months to wean myself off of it. And then, I understand, I can expect to spend another couple of months feeling significant withdrawal symptoms even after I have stopped taking Suboxone/buprenorphine.

This has got to be one of the worst medical scams ever. I would compare using Suboxone to get people off of opiates to using whiskey to get people to stop drinking beer.

Suboxone is also hideously expensive $370, for a 30 day supply.

A 30 day supply of four Norco 10/325 per day is only $33.

If you get just straight buprenorphine – the active component of Suboxone – you can get it for about $90 for a 30 day supply.

The cost is actually the least of the worries where Suboxone/buprenorphine is concerned. If you are a longtime junkie who was been sticking a needle in your arm for years Suboxone may make it easier for you to get off the needle.

If you are a chronic pain patient who has been taking opiates for your chronic pain and they are going to cut you off of your opiates, you are far better off going cold turkey – hopefully your doctors will allow you to wean off of the opiates – and skipping the Suboxone/buprenorphine hoax because getting off of it is 10 times harder than getting off of conventional opiates, and the nightmare from hell every step of the way. It is hideously ugly.

I don’t know how to say it any plainer than this: Suboxone/buprenorphine is, in my estimation, absolute poison, and one of the worst travesties of medical mispractice ever perpetrated on the American public. it is a scam to make a pharmaceutical companies rich.

When it comes to Suboxone/buprenorphine: just say no.”

***Today I opened up Facebook to find this response regarding my article from July 31, 2018. That’s is where I discussed Suboxone, Bupenorphrine & Naloxone. Please refer to that article (July 31,2018) if you need to “fill in the blanks”, so to speak.

I thought I would add his comments here. To be fair to all of my readers, I will also post my responses. I want you to know my reactions and the words that I used to make sure that my original post is not “confusing” to anyone else.

Here are the words that he wrote underneath my article that was posted in my CRPS support group on Facebook; called “RASEforCRPS” (the letters represent the words: Reserach, Awareness, Support & Educate) (*it was also posted in other Various groups & pages) :

I’ve been safely and effectively using plain Bupenorphrine, an opioid, in the form of Butrans patch for several years! I have also used the antidepressants and have been fine with both.

Each of my docs can order it without certification or special classes. It HAS been approved by the FDA for severe pain that needs round-the-clock management.

There is a lot of different info out there and there are other medications with Bupenorphrine in them. Here is some info! Here is a pharmacy times article about this:

“Belbuca Is the newest formulation of you been or for an available as a buckle films and indicated for the management of pain requiring around -the -clock, long-term opioid treatment not adequately controlled with alternatives. This reflects the new standard labeling required of all extended-release of yours indicated for Chronic Pain.”

“Buprenex IV or IM is approved for the relief of moderate to severe pain. This formulation is also used off-label for the treatment of opioid withdrawal in heroin-dependent hospitalized patients.”……..(you can read this article in its entirety here: Pharmacy Times article * that patient also gave this article for reference: Second article given to me by that patient

*******Here was my response to her post underneath my article:

The writers of your one article make the medications you are being prescribed. The information I have is from several trusted news organizations, and our government has been saying for years how big Pharma has downplayed the negative affects of their products. Lastly, I’ve known people who say that it’s much worse to stop taking (Bupenorphrine/Suboxone) than others that are not agonist-antagonist opioids. All I’m saying is that if you want to take that medication, even though it’s not approved by the FDA; you should have the choice to do so! But if the other kind of long extended release Patch has worked for other people, including myself for over a decade, then I/they should be able to keep the medication that has worked and hasn’t caused any problems for me whatsoever! I also have at least six or seven different articles where I found my information on the Internet.

There’s also this information below, which says the medication can be used for pain/refractory depression for “off label use” (then why can we not use the fentanyl patch for off-label use?)… there’s also contradictory information and most state that it’s ” only a low analgesic at best”!

In this article here Bupenorphrine- Naloxone Therapy in Pain Management , it states that these medications In the past few years, they have been increasingly prescribed off-label for chronic pain management. The current data suggest that Bupenorphrine /Naloxone may provide pain relief in patients with chronic pain who also have opiate dependence or addiction. However, the pharmacological profile of this medication states that it is a weak analgesic that is unlikely to provide adequate pain relief for patients without opioid dependence or addiction.

Therefore, just as I stated in my original article, these medications are probably OK for people who are struggling with addiction to opioids. But if you do not have an Opioid addiction or an opioid use disorder and you’ve been using the same opioids for Chronic Pain for many years, and they still help to give you a semblance of life & relieve your pain, then you are not an addict. So the Bupenorphrine /Naloxone may work for low analgesic pain relief in addicted person but not in chronic pain patients. That’s what I tried to state in my original article as well. I also said that the company (*Reckitt Benckiser) that is responsible for making the medication Suboxone/Bupenorphrine started this whole fake opioid crisis so that they could have a monopoly on this medication and get rid of all opioids. Therefore it was a “get rich scheme” for them.

Lastly, I’ve copied and pasted for you, only one of the warnings for the buccal Butrans patch:

The risk for serious, life-threatening or fatal respiratory depression. Physicians should monitor for respiratory depression, especially during initiation of the treatment or after a dose increase, the company said. “Misuse or abuse of Belbuca by chewing, swallowing, snorting, or injecting buprenorphine extracted from the buccal film will result in uncontrolled delivery of buprenorphine and pose a significant risk of overdose or death,” the statement adds.

• The risk for accidental exposure. “Accidental exposure to even one dose of Belbuca, especially by children, can result in a fatal overdose of buprenorphine.”

• The risk for neonatal opioid withdrawal. “Prolonged use of Belbuca during pregnancy can result in neonatal opioid withdrawal syndrome, which may be life-threatening if not recognized and treated, and requires management according to protocols developed by neonatology experts,” the statement said. If prolonged treatment is required in a pregnant woman, “advise the patient of the risk of neonatal opioid withdrawal syndrome and ensure that appropriate treatment will be available.”

After reading the warnings on these medications I don’t see why they are any better than regular opioids or the fentanyl patch? All medications, including heart medications, Coumadin & chemotherapy, come with warnings! But sometimes the benefits outweigh the risks.

Articles:

1:Bupenorphrine has not been approved for pain- but possibly off label can be a weak anelgesic

2: Are there other uses for Bupenorphrine

Fighting For Chronic Pain Patients


This is the “Roy Green” syndicated radio show that is heard in Canada & the USA each week. I was contacted by Roy a few days ago and asked to come on the air and speak with him regarding the dire situation that chronic pain patients are living and dealing with these days. I also spoke of how I was informed that I’m losing my own ER/LA pain meds in 2 weeks. The starting point of my segment Is at 39:12 through 54:15. Please feel free to share this with our pain community. Thank you!

Suzanne Stewart on the Roy Green Show, Fighting For Chronic Pain Patients

Keeping Hope Alive is Tough!


You never think it will happen to you, until it does. I have been helping others and advocating for them for many years now. I have been writing for the National Pain Report and in my own blog (tearsoftruth.com) for several years as well. I try to give advice to others to help keep their hope alive. On my WEGO Health profile, my favorite words are posted. These are words that I try to live by and a phrase that originated with me, “Hope is a verb, You have to DO something in order to have it”. Now I have to practice what I have been preaching.

I think most of you know that in March 2018, I visited my pain Dr. And he did the usual random urine test. I was told in April that it showed a positive for PCP and something else, I cant even think of right now? Probably because I have no idea what these are and did not ever take them. It ended up being a “false positive” after we were charge $300.00, because HE forgot that I was taking a migraine medication that did not show up on the MAPS. He says it shows up sometimes, not others?

My PTSD symptoms have gotten worse prior to each upcoming pain Dr. visit. He has become less respectful towards me. I used to feel a mutual respect between us. I stopped taking some other cancer pain medication that was prescribed to me before I started seeing him in 2015. I felt that he respected me for being able to do that and go through the withdrawals process. My brain did not ever care about the medication, but my body got very sick when I stopped it.

The past few appointments I have not felt that respect that I had felt in the past. My Dr. was treating me differently. He got angry if I got weepy at all and he yelled at me for crying. Something changed in him and I could see it and feel it, but I was not sure what it was or why it was happening? This week I went to my appointment on Monday, 7-9-18. Things were pretty “normal” during the visit, but he was kind of “short” and “quick” with me, when he used to chit chat a bit and even smile when he told me about his children. At the end of the visit, he said this to me “so we are stopping your Fentanyl patch”. I was stunned because I’ve been on it for 15 yrs and taking less now than I was in 2015. I’ve had some semblance of a life with my husband, kids and grandchildren. I’ve been doing quite well and now he was taking away something that I’ve been doing very well with. Then came the “big lie”; (*which I know is untrue because I asked my Neurologist and Cardiologist and I was told it was not true whatsoever). He told me that I was “probably not getting more than 30% of the medication anyways because I’m not “fat” or “heavy enough”. That the fentanyl patch works better on “fat/heavy people” or “people with more body fat than I have”.” I questioned him, but I knew enough not to question him too much. I did not want to make the person that I depend on to have some kind of life at all, angry with me. My husband brought the empty bottle of my Migraine medicine to show him that I did have an 8 month old script and recently got a new refill. It was not showing up in the MAPS and my husband asked him if we should ask the pharmacy to make sure it is in that system? He told us that “they don’t like if you know too much, its best not to say anything”. What the heck is that all about? We are supposed to be lambs/sheep and follow orders and jump off the cliff if told to do so, without ever asking any questions? I’ve always found it better to be knowledgeable in my own treatment and healthcare. But this is not the case today, I guess?

Lastly, I put myself into old “abuse mode”. It was the same as the “old days” and I put myself in another place, disassociated until we could get the hell out of that room. All I wanted to do is cry and be hysterical for a few moments with the one person who loves me and who protects me to the best of his abilities and who is my soul-mate, my husband. I heard him tell me that he was taking away my patch and that I could take a different extended release medication “MS Contin”. But, I told him that I am unable to take that medication because I have Gastroparesis and even before I was diagnosed with GP, I could not take that medication because it made me sick, violently ill. That was the only choice I had and he gave me “one more month to be psychologically ready” but my dose was lowered and spread out for another full day. In one month I will be taken off of my patch after 15 years, with no tapering and nothing that matches the strength and pain lowering levels of what has worked for me for so long.

We are now at the mercy of the government in our patient rooms. He says that the state and federal government are making him do this to me. But there is no “law” that I can find in Michigan yet, stating that all persons taking Fentanyl for chronic pain must be removed from taking it now. I’m sorry that I don’t believe that you must be “heavy person” in order for the Fentanyl to work, because I was pretty much anorexic when I started it and it’s always worked for my pain. I have never had a “high” or any feelings except some relief from the pain of the several high pain illnesses that I live with and have lived with for many years. He also told me that “only those who have cancer are allowed to have these fentanyl patches now”. There is no evidence to prove that cancer pain is any worse than the pain that many of the chronic pain patients have to endure. I know there is a NORD website quote or a quote from the AMA, regarding this but I’m too sick right now to try and find it for you, I apologize. It’s easy to give advice, hope and love to people going through this, but when it is YOU who is going through it, all the love, advice and hope won’t make it better.

The same day that this happened, I awoke at 4:00 am with a feeling like someone was pressing on my left eye. When I opened my eyes, I could not see out of my left eye at all. It was totally pitch black. After a few minutes of screaming hysterically and my husband rushing to my side, I started to see patches of light in a dark mass. Then patches of the living room came into focus. After about 5-10 minutes, I could see again but not as sharp as usual with my glasses on. I went to sleep and in the morning I had a dull ache in my left eye and went to the hospital’s eye clinic that day. The Dr. Said that I had a “mini stroke” or “TIA of the eye”. My blood pressure had been high at the pain Dr. Appointment and my heart rate was 100 bpm before he even came into the room to tell me the news. He told me it was probably from stress and nothing they could do for me after all of the special testing that they did, they sent me home. I visited my heart specialist the next day and filled him in. He concurred with the eye clinic and said it could even have been an Ocular Migraine, but either/or both are from stress and can be a dangerous precursor to a stroke. I had a CVA or stroke in 2006, so I’ve been there and done that already. Today, we are like lambs going off to slaughter and nobody cares if we live or die. As my kind-hearted specialist physician of 15 years told me yesterday, “unfortunately you and people like you are collateral damage to the hysteria taking place right now”. I guess now it is up to me to see if I am able to follow any of the advice that I’ve been giving to others in this same predicament? Will I have another heart attack or another stroke because the legislators don’t care about me as an individual? Will I live to see my granddaughters and new grandson’s lives evolve or will I be a statistic? I guess only time will tell and all I can do is try to “keep hope alive”.