From The Mouth of A Fur Baby


Hello all,
Hey to all of my furriends here on Catster…sorry I’ve not been around so much lately. Mommy is still not doing so well since February when she had the heart surgery…she’s just tired alot and not feeling so great. She’s a good mommy and she tries hard to be everything I need and want …but I just want to be me with my own personality and my own quirks. When mommy and daddy got me they actually got me because their daughter who is 25 has her own apartment and another kitty named “Sutton”. They all love Sutton, she is “fixed” and she is a good kitty and mommy’s daughter thought that she’d get another kitty (me) to keep Sutton company . But when I went there after the foster home, I didnt’ like it so much. I was stuck in the bathroom for a few days and I felt lonely and worried about what was going on for me in life. I was let out of the bathroom for times and then Sutton would be put in the laundry room for awhile while I sniffed out the place and played awhile…then we went back to our own spaces again…just until we could get used to each other. But Sut-Sut never got used to me and started worrying , not grooming, not eating and whenever we got put together to try and be introduced; we both got upset and started clawing at eachother and hissing…
We did not like each other and it just was not gonna work and mommy’s daughter was going to have to take me back to my foster mom’s home. But my mommy intervened and she told her daughter to bring me to her house and they would take me as they fur baby and be my family. I was really cute and I didnt want to be alone in a room downstairs that first night and I jumped up the basement stairs and over the 1/2 door and into the living room! I made a big sound and they wondered what happened!! I made them so surprised and they were laughing so hard and I was instantly allowed upstairs with them and trusted.
OK…so you all know my trials and stories and eveything we’ve been through together, right? You know how my mommy used to say that she had hoped that I would be “cuddly” and everyone said to give me time? Mommy had hoped for company and love and companionship. She is in pain all of the time with a nerve disease and doesn’t feel too good and she just wanted something to love and be loved. (*On a side note mommy has an abusive family and she has to stay away from them to be safe…she also lost her oldest daughter 9 yrs ago )…. She feels like she could use some unconditional love like the love only fur babies can give…but not me…so far I’m not capable of this. Mommy knows that kitties are sometimes loners or we want things our own way….You know my mommy loves me and you can see by all the pictures she takes of me that I’m so important in their lives. I’m so smart and cute and funny…but mommy is sad because I never want anything except to sleep and play (playing is harder for her but she’s a good sport and still plays with me a lot). I’m funny to watch but I’m not any company really. You see….Mommy & Daddy.. they both are allergic and think that having 2 cats would be “pushing it. Mommy and daddy’s allergies are in check just by taking a pill daily so thats good and with me, they are doing OK with it and that is wonderful. But two kitty’s might be pushing it a bit much and mommy’s has asthma as well (which is also doing good at the moment).
Mommy keeps saying that in time things will be better, that I’ll get used to everything, that I’ll be better, less skittish etc. Daddys starting to get upset because mommy is sad quite often about the whole thing. Daddy keeps saying that they should let the foster mommy come back and bring me to her house because she said I could come back to her house any time forever. Mommy loves me so much and daddy does as well, but the only thing that they do is clean out my litter box and feed me and play with me. I won’t let mommy (or anyone) hold me, I won’t sit with her, I won’t sit next to her, I won’t sleep with her, she cannot hold me! I stay in one room of the house most of the time and they are always in the TV room. I used to sleep with mommy but haven’t in about a month and now I sleep up on the mantle over the fireplace or I also sleep in the rocking chair in the room upstairs, the spare room. You see, right now its Sat. night…daddy and mommy are watching TV and playing on their Ipads…I’m upstairs by myself in the computer room in a chair. I used to greet them in the morning if there was a night that went by and I didnt want to sleep next to mommy. I would at least be head butting and meowing and happy to see them and get them up. Now I just keep going backwards 5 steps and forward one step!!
I won’t drink water from my bowl…not any bowl…only from the faucet….I want mommy to pet me while i eat or sometimes i wont eat…the only thing that I do that shows any kind of affection whatsoever, is sometimes I’ ll fall down onto my side like “plop” and want to be petted…but only for a few moments or then I start swiping my claws at them. I don’t get excited to see them or even get up off of my perch when either of them come home….Mommy’s friends who are in a support group for pain patients, they have kitties and their kitties lay down in the bed with them for the most part when they don’t feel good throughout the day. I don’t care if mommy doesn’t feel good and I stay in another room ….
Mommy and daddy are so sad …especially mommy. She /they know that animals are not “disposable” creatures that can be “traded” as the cat behaviorist has suggested when mommy talked to one at the humane society where I used to live. She said that if mommy isn’t happy and it’s been so long, about 8 /9 months now and I’m just not that “into them”..that they should take me back to my foster mommy who doesn’t mind taking me back at all! She told them that they could for sure find mommy a loveable lap cat that would possibly fit in at this house and with this family since I don’t really seem to do anything here except keep to myself and I like it that way. Mommy is afraid to hurt my feelings or afraid to do anything except just keep me here with them, with her. She said they should try a dog or another cat and just let me be who I am and leave it at that…but daddy says that thats not an option…..because of his allergies being worse, he only wants one animal and he has to do the laundry, housework, and lawn work and everything pretty much …already…Because mommy has several health issues its alot on his shoulders. He is a full time teacher and has been for 36 years as well….it’s just hard and they know they could do it and welcome it and not mind at all…but they just want me to give some kind of sign of love and affection. I mean, I hate seeing mommy unhappy because of me….she is sad quite often and she has enough to be sad about daddy says, without me being a part of it. I was supposed to be part of the family and their lives and love and be loved…it’s hard because I’m not like that and I’ve been here 9 mos almost.
Lastly, you know…mommy and daddy had they picked out their own family fur baby, they’d have chosen one with a history of being loving and a lap cat and such…but their daughter brought me home and that didnt’ work out with her kitty and me. We didnt like each other at all. Remember, she was going to take me right back after a week, to the foster mommy…but my mommy now didnt want that to happen and she said they would try to take me and see how it goes….it’s been all this time and I’m getting more and more apart from them/her and instead of closer…..any suggestions will be so hoped for… but mommy cannot handle anymore hurtfulness because there are so many abusers in her life that she’s trying hard to keep at bay…thank you all for being warm, caring and understanding…..love, Luna …purrrssss20130922-002207.jpg20130922-002224.jpg

The Two Shall Become One….


I have the most exciting news! Today’s post is going to be more photo’s and less “blogging”. I’m on “cloud 9” as I’m so excited that my youngest daughter, became engaged tonight to a wonderful young man! They’ve been dating about a year and 3/4 and her fiance’ did take us aside a couple of weeks ago and he asked “our permission and for our blessing, to marry our daughter! He said that he “loved us” and He “loves her and is crazy about her and he wants to marry her”!! Of course we said “yes, you have our blessing!” I even added that “we love him” and I said that we “are thrilled to have him be our “son”. Here are the pictures and the story for your enjoyment:

 

Hello Luvs,

OMG!!! I/we are so excited to welcome a son in law, into our family! He and my youngest daughter are getting married next Year and We could not be happier! He is the “son” I always hoped to have, he will be a wonderful son(in law..LOL). We are so blessed to have our family be growing and have our daughter be so happy and blessed and in love, as well!

He took our youngest daughter to their favorite pastime, a Detroit Tiger’s baseball game. After the game, they went to their favorite restaurant, “The Melting Pot”. While they were gone, her fiance’s sister, (she is 19 or 20 years old and in College. She and my youngest daughter get along so great and they do a lot together. I’m so happy that my daughter is gaining not only a wonderful man to be with her forever, but a “sister” too!) was decorating my daughters’apartment with balloons, a sign, flowers and rose petals! She was so surprised and so excited and we just couldn’t be happier for them both! My daughter just got her “dream job” and she’s so happy about that as well. Her life is coming together and I’m proud to say that I have done the best job I knew how and I think she turned out to be such a wonderful and blessed young lady! Check out the great photo’s from this memorable occasion.

“ENGAGED”

 

the decorations that they arranged and had his sister do, while they were gone

 

 

 

 

 

IT’s So AWESOME & Sparkly!!

 

One Little Kitty….


Needless to say, if you’ve been reading along with this blog; you’ll recognize that I’ve been through a lot. Yes, I know that everyone has been through tough times. I also realize that your own “worst” is something that you own ! Your worst situations are horrible for you and everyone has a right to feel that to them… It is their worst! I guess I just feel, as do my Dr’s & as do the disability agents; that I have had just a bit more than my own “fair share” of nightmare-ish experiences! Now I’m not looking for “poor me’s” or sympathy…but any kindness and /or empathy I will take wherever and whenever I can get it! Mostly because I really and truly have had it past my limit of mean & abusive people around me in my life.
I don’t always write about abusive and/or horrible experiences. I love also writing about certain CAUSES and things I love or feel passionate about!
Today I couldn’t wait to tell you about my lovely “feline princess” and our newest family member, “Luna Skye”! She is our rescued, domestic short hair, all white Kitty Cat! Before Luna came to live with us a couple of monthsr ago, I was much more sad & depressed about so many things that continue to happen to me in this experience called “life”!!
Luna had been rescued by the Humane Society. She’d lived in bad conditions of a hoarders’ house! The person or people hoarded animals! I’m not sure if they had dogs and cats, or just many many cats! She’d just given birth to two snowy white kittens also! My Luna was very skinny at less than 6 lbs at 21/2 years old! They had her and her babies go into a foster home! Luckily, due to the time it was going to take to go through litigation and put those animal abusers into jail, Luna and her kittens got to stay together longer than usual. They were in a home with a family. There were two other cats, I believe; and a dog or two! They all got along well and of all the coincidences, her foster mom’s name was also Suzanne!
Luna, who was “Cora” at their house; was an elegant and affectionate cat, and that she is still! I wish I knew more of her past because she’s very skittish and seems to be fearful and fretful. She’s been slowly learning our ways and about life in our home. The home that will now always be hers too!
The best thing is that Ive been able to be a part of trying to calm this sweet girl and show her a ton of love, patience and perseverance! I think the perseverance is mainly on my/our part! We cannot & will not ever give up on her, she truly needs us!
I had read a Cat story about an abused cat who came to live with this man in his home. That kitty wouldn’t sit near “his new person”. She wouldn’t snuggle or cuddle, but she was a beautiful and lovely cat! That man didn’t give up, and a year later, when he was at his desk top computer one day, his Cat jumped up and onto his lap! She’s been there every day since then, while he does his work!
So when Luna came to us, I first called her “Cora -Luna” to get her slowly used to her new name ! She started coming to “Luna” within a week I’d say! Now she’s our “Luna” as she will be today and forever! We’re both very attached to her now as she appears to be to us as well.
Ha ha.. My hubby has also fallen in love with Luna. He ‘s never been afraid to show his emotions, but Ive not seen him “take” to a cat like this before! He’s the one that tells me not to let her to do this or that or not to allow her on the bed etc..Well… Guess where Luna sleeps quite often now? You guessed it… On our bed…and right on or quite close to my pillow! She also did something that prompted me to write this story today! After reading about that guys cat that wouldn’t sit with him or on his lap for about a year or so; I figured that I’d just have to be patient. I got a little sad when Luna would continuously walk away from me as I tried to pet her. She wouldn’t come near us at night time it near out bed! I wanted an animal to love and who loves me! I wanted one to snuggle with me and sleep with me in my big chair. Especially when my pain is quite high from the autoimmune nerve disease that I have, called “RSD/CRPSII”.
Well..,Luna’s been here with us for only about 5 or 6 weeks! Last night she slept for 3 hours in my “Lazy Boy” chair with me! YES!! Yes!! She jumped up into my chair, all on her own and she stayed there snuggling; with me petting her off & on, for about 3 hours!
She’s been coming into our bed at night now. Even during the day, I’ll find her curled up on my side of the bed and up next to my pillow…sleeping soundly!!! Little miss, just came downstairs as Im writing this blog! She returned from a “cat nap” in my bed again!! Wow…patience IS a virtue and good things ARE worth waiting for!
Lastly, I want to tell you about how we turned the water on in our bathroom sink to just a drip….or a little drizzle! We showed it to her . No sooner did we show her, then she jumped up onto the very small countertop and played with the little drizzles of water! She amused herself for what seemed to be quite a long time!! I’ll share the photos and the video if possible! If I cannot show you the video, I’ll try to put the link on here to help you get at least to the video on you tube! Luna kitty playing with water
My husband tells me that I’m much more calm and get less upset now! I believe that it’s true what they say about animals bring good for us and for our blood pressure!! I just know that I love my sweet Luna to pieces !

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The Spoon Theory In Action…


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Hello Luvs,
I just felt like checking in and saying “Hello” today! It’s been so unGodly cold outside and not fit for humans! Well I wanted to update you on a few things . I think I told you my FIL died on Jan 8,2013. We worry because he didn’t accept Jesus or have any kind of “higher power” in his life. He thought all f us who did, were “stupid”! Needless to say, his parents haven’t ever been a big part of our lives.Some people you have to love from a distance, so as not to be continually hurt! Same with my own family! I was in that horrible car accident on 8-11-02…suffered tremendously and continue to suffer every day from lingering, ongoing chronic pain, TBI issues, the 2005 heart attack aftermath of Atrial fibrillation & Coronary spasms, the numbness & right side weakness s/p the stroke (CVA) in 2006, the daily watering,burning & blurred vision, severe dry eyes, convergence insufficiency and most of this comes from the fact that my eyes don’t have a complete blink due to the paralysis from the effects of the CVA & the TBI! I’ve suffered daily now for this going on the 13th year of the aftermath of that one man’s bad decision, to run a red light that awful August day in 2002! After several surgeries, I acquired a progressive, debilitating, most painful autoimmune Neurological disease “RSD/CRPS” aka “Complex Regional Pain Syndrome or Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy”! This disease alone, is considered on the “McGill pain scale” to be at #42 and the highest form of chronic pain known to mankind! It’s right up there next to cancer ( non terminal),childbirth and amputation of a digit w/o anesthesia! The long thoracic nerve pain is excruciating also! I am unable to write or use a “mouse” or do much with my rt. hand,arm &/or shoulder, because of the nerve pain, heaviness and stabbing feeling that happens when I do try to use it. We’ve found that just “using it more” defeats the purpose because it just makes the pain more unbearable!
Imagine sitting someplace, trying to have a nice dinner out with friends or something similar….my heart starts to hurt and it quivers and shakes (this is what I feel, but inside of my body,along with an intense pain and rapid heart rate….there are little blood clots shooting out of my heart and up into my veins. if I’m lucky, the fact that my blood is dangerously thin due to taking blood thinning meds for life, helps to at least try and make sure that those little blood clots don’t get stuck In my heart or my brain. This could cause possibly a worse CVA, worse paralysis and/or even death!)….I know what to do, the routine! I go politely to the rest room, I go into my purse and find & take a nitro sublingual tablet, put it under my tongue, then make sure I am wearing my nitro dermal patch on my chest …& I wait to see if this works! I wait 5 minutes & do it all again …and third time I do it and wait 5 minutes…if the chest pain does not dissipate, then I am off to the hospital or someone must call 911! My Cardiologist gave me these instructions and he said the Coronary spasms with or w/o the Atrial fibrillation, can cause death! I also have what seems to be an insignificant long QT line on my EKG’s! Sometimes it shows up & other times not so much! Yea…but the thing about “long QT” is that you have no symptoms but it can cause sudden cardiac death! So we just put it on the back burner of our brains and we don’t think about it because there’s nothing that can be done…it’ just a little ,nagging “time bomb” !
OK…so next, imagine that your friend,your husband or daughter want to take you out shopping for the day! I love shopping and I always want to go and try! I love spending time with them and who doesn’t love shopping? If I can get up, get dressed and ready to go out….then I do go and try! But if you look at some of my pictures, you can see what my feet look like after only 20-30 minutes of waking. I am very thankful for my cane, Loft strand crutches,walker and motorized scooter! Although this past Summer I had to get my own permanent wheelchair in order to be able to do “longer walking” activities with my family! I am blessed that our health insurance covered it or I wouldn’t have the beautiful memories from our Disney trip with my youngest daughter and my husband, this past June. But then again, I paid dearly after we arrived back home. I had days & weeks of worsened, unrelenting nerve & bone pain in my : neck, lower back, feet,knees, arms, hands and did I say neck? From all of the looking here and looking there and turning my head to see it all & take everything in…I truly suffered afterwards! But as I’ve always said…it is still sooo worth the horrible nerve pain, in order to have these memories/moments with my little but loving family!
I learned a sort of method for being able to do some things without suffering so badly that I’ m down for days afterwards! It’s called “The Spoon Theory”! A girl named Christine Miserandino patented this theory and I will share it with you in short form! It’s like this….we are given only so many “spoons” at the beginning of each day. Every attempt to do something when you suffer from chronic pain etc, takes one of these “spoons” from your daily allotment. Getting out of bed, making tea or coffee and breakfast, then showering & getting ready for the day ahead; this all takes a good 5 “spoons” out of your allowed maybe 12 for each day! So now you have only 6 spoons left, so you need to be careful what things you choose to do. Especially if you have a “date” that night, be it with your husband, friends or whoever? So after washing off the countertops and wiping down the shower and then meeting your girl friend for a coffee…now you’ve used up 3 more spoons which only leaves you 3 left , to go out for dinner with your husband and possibly have an after dinner drink or a slow dance afterwards? But wait!!! WE can’t have a “drink” due to the high potency of the pain meds that some of us are prescribed!! Oh….and we cannot dance due to the chronic pain issues, either! I’d almost forgotten those bits of information! But by then we’ve still used up our “spoons” just trying to be a good friend, mother, partner, wife etc….We are left with one spoon with which we need to get ready for bed…but what about that “thing” our child wants to talk about before bedtime? What about that letter your hubby needs you to help him with before lights go out that night? We have choices to make! I know everyone has choices to make everyday. But with the “Spoon Theory” once your spoons are gone for the day …there are no more! We must choose wisely so as not to hurt anyone else’s feelings, but more importantly to head off the horrible higher pain that will make us suffer relentlessly!,,
Well, I’m wondering if/how many people can relate to this theory?
As for me and my surgery up and coming on Feb 19, 2013…. I think I’ve been using up many spoons, by being fearful and fretting! When the Dr himself comes to speak with you & says “Hi beautiful! I’m so sorry that this surgery is going to hurt much more than the first time. The pacemaker has had 10 years of fibrous tissue to grow around & make itself a home in your body now…as a part of your body now!”!!!!!!! Therefore I have to get general anesthesia, the lovely sore throat (which every new trauma can cause the RSD/CRPS to travel and stay there & wreak havoc on another body part!)….let alone the higher risks involved….but this must be done! He will put me to “sleep” and remove the device from deep inside my pectoral muscle, while cutting the muscles and nerves adjacent….I will awaken in much pain, which will last quite awhile (it takes a full year for nerves to quiet down!) & then hopefully soon I’ll be able to come home and start recovery process wondering all the while “will the RSD/CRPS spread..more…again?
My 16th wedding Anniversary is coming up on Valentines Day! The only man who I’ve EVER truly felt this special love, bond with and the only man who’s never hit or hurt me or anyone ever!! I sometimes wonder why some of my extended family members still remain loyal to my lying & abusive father?? I am the only one in my family who’s actually had a Loving & lasting relationship, marriage !!!!!!! My one brother was married for 13 years “legally-on paper”.. But all of those years he was miserable and he cheated on his wife.The wife our parents chose for him! He asked me to meet him for lunch about 2 weeks after his wedding. He confided in me that he “wasn’t in love with her, what should he do?” He so went n to tell me that he felt like this new “wife” was more like a “sister” or “friend” and he didn’t feel “romantic feelings for her”! He said he’d married her to please our parents and especially after they told him “if he did not marry her, he could not bring anyone else around them ever”! He was unhappy and felt “stuck”! I told him that since he’d gone through with it, he may fall in love later…I mean…it’s not unheard of? I told him to try for awhile at least…that was the honorable thing to do! So he bought a big home on a lake, fancy cars and a boat! All to fulfill his life but after 10 years or possibly sooner, it wasn’t working! His “wife” wanted so desperately to have our parents for her own (being an only child I guess she was looking ahead)…she even pretended to be my “BFF” just to get at my brother to marry her! My mother told me that many times, but I didn’t want to believe it! Now I know it was true! Then my other brother, 2 years older than me, he’s been married at least 4 times and has lived with many more women than that! He’s got bi-polar mental health issues and he’s a scary one when he’s in one of his Psychotic episodes! He even was charged with something I won’t speak of here. Although my parents and older brother paid for the best Defense lawyer, he still went to jail for four months and was on house tether arrest for 9 more months! He was eventually found “Not Guilty”… But that means nothing to me because I believe he did it, just by the way he treated me all of my life! Also by the way his daughter, my niece, has turned out to be someone who has enormous psychological issues and girls or people who do to themselves what my brother did,and most likely still does,and what his daughter does to hurt herself …they are “damaged” people and in need of help…but they deny it! So things never change and the cycles stay the same! But for me…I have chosen health and help! I have the best Dr /Psychologist ever! He has even met them,some of my family! He said that he doesn’t talk bad about people often, but that he got a sick feeling in his stomach when he was with them for a little while! He feels like they are “evil”….*(well any grandfather encourages his granddaughters to NOT have a relationship with their mother! Their mom who totally raised them by herself and who was the only one ALWAYS there for her daughters!! Well…that’s a “sick” “hateful” and “evil ” man!)….
Enough for today….thank you for listening to my true story….I hope the “Spoon theory” helps some of you…who are in physical pain… Love, and prayers …Suzanne

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