Let Freedom Ring


As I sit here tonight, I am afraid.  I don’t often say that,  due to my history (*living with a lifetime of abuse, pain, chronic illness, loss, multiple surgeries and more).  I have been  through so much during my 58 years on this earth. I may be a bit anxious and have physical disabilities, but inside, I am a very tenacious and strong woman.  I am a fighter.  I can plainly say that it is not the Coronavirus or COVID-19, that I’m afraid of today. (**even if I were to get this nasty novel Coronavirus, I still would prefer to live free until I am unable to live any longer. I hope and pray that this does not happen, but I know that there is always a chance. I’m willing to take that chance to live a free life outside of my home).  It is those  people who have made “being safe at all costs” more important than living life at all.  I fear those for whom this virus has yeilded power; they are our biggest threat. If you think about living in pre-COVID-19 times, you will remember that waking up every day and going out into the world is not and has never been “SAFE”.  But still we went out every day and lived our lives in “unsafe mode” constantly and consistantly.  Just think about it for a moment.  Getting into the car and driving, is not safe. Getting into an airplane and flying, is not safe.  Going to the mall, where there are a multitude of germs, is not safe. There are people who have gone sky diving, parasailing, skiing, race car driving and even gone to concerts and full football, Baseball or Hockey stadiums in the past.  Yet today, those same people are now still hiding inside of their homes, terrified of something that has a fatality rate lower than expected and close to the Flu’s 0.1%. Study” Coronavirus Fatality Rate Lower than Expected, Close to Flu’s 0.1%

The threat seems to be coming straight from those elected officials who are supposed to be governing at the pleasure of the people! They were not elected into the office of Governor, to become dictators and tyrants.  One of those dictator tyrants, for example, is our Michigan Governor Gretchan Whitmer. At the first sign of trouble; they order us cower in place and then dictate from their basements (or their second or third homes, after ordering the rest of us not to travel to any second vacation homes).  They are fear mongering instead of uniting. They are telling us to stop thinking for ourselves and listen to & follow their outrageous orders. We, the people,  are shrinking instead of standing tall. But standing tall and fighting for freedom is what Americans have done best for hundreds of years. Please let it be known that I do not condone violence.  But peaceful resistance, writing, calling, getting petitions and recalls out there; are proactive steps, made by “Free People”, and I definitely do believe in and support these peaceful actions, especially now.

Our Governor and several other Democratic Governors have made hundreds of executive orders.  They have claimed that they are being driven to these Executve orders by Science and data.  But all of the Science and data that I have read, has been incorrect time and time again. The data has been incorrect, misrepresented, and downright skewed to make things appear much worse than the situation truly is.  The CDC’s own Dr. Fauci has admitted that he has been wrong! He also told us in March 2020, that masks were “not necessary” and that they “won’t protect us” from COVID-19.  But then a few months later, informs us that we ” MUST wear masks” to keep us “Safe”. He also is the same person who told us that these lockdowns were necessary to “flatten the curve”.  Well we did that and flattened the curve on or about mid April 2020. It is now almost June and we are still quarantined and under “orders to stay at home” (except for essential travel for food or necessary items to sustain life etc.).  Now Dr Fauci, our expert Immunologist who has been advising our President and the COVID-19 taskforce, says that a second wave is “NOT INEVITABLE”–and he is “feeling better about” preventing it. 

Many of the same ideas that have been going on inside of my head, were said aloud in a courtroom in Illinois this past week. Judge McHaney, who presided over a case against Governor Pritzker, verbalized and put in court transcripts, many of the things that have been eating away at my inner self.  Here are some of the things that he said:   Mainerv. Pritzker Transcript – Let Liberty Ring :

Since the inception of this insanity, the following regulations, rules or consequences have occurred:”

  • I won’t get COVID if I get an abortion but I will get COVID if I get a colonoscopy
  • Selling pot is essential but selling goods and services at a family-owned business is not.
  • Pot wasn’t even legal and pot dispensaries didn’t even exist in this state until five months ago and, in that five months, they have become essential but a family – owned business in existence for five generations is not.
  • A family of six can pile in their car and drive to Carlyle Lake without contracting COVID but, if they all get in the same boat, they will.
  • We are told that kids rarely contract the virus and sunlight kills it, but summer youth programs, sports programs are cancelled.
  • Four people can drive to the golf course and not get COVID but, if they play in a foursome, they will.
  • If I go to Walmart, I won’t get COVID but, if I go to church, I will.
  • Murderers are released from custody while small business owners are threatened with arrest if they have the audacity to attempt to feed their families.

These are just a few of the examples of rules, regulations, and consequences that are arbitrary, capricious, and completely devoid of anything even remotely approaching common sense.  State’s attorneys in this state, county sheriffs, mayors, city councils and county boards have openly and publicly defied these orders followed by threats to withold funding and revocation of necessary licenses and certifications unless you obey.

Our economy is shut down because of a flu virus with a 98% -plus survival rate.  Doctors and experts say different things weekly.  The defendant cites models in his opposition.  The only thing experts will agree on is that all models are wrong and some are useful.  The Centers for Disease Control now says the virus is not easily spread on surfaces.”

“The defendant in this case orders you to stay home and pronounces that, if you leave the state, you are putting people in danger, but his family members traveled to Florida and Wisconsin because he deems such travel essential.  One initial rationale why the rules don’t apply to him is that his family farm had animals that needed fed.  Try selling that argument to farmers who have had to slaughter their herds because of disruption in the supply chain.”

“When laws do not apply to those who make them, people are not being governed, they are being ruled.  Make no mistake, these executive orders are not laws.  They are royal decrees.  Illinois citizens are not being governed, they are being ruled.  The last time I checked Illinois citizens are also Americans and Americans don’t get ruled!  The last time a monarch tried to rule Americans, a shot was fired that was heard around the world.  That day led to the birth of a nation consensually governed based upon a document which ensures that on this day in this, an American courtroom tyrannical despotism will always lose and liberty, freedom and the constitution will always win”

As I sit here contemplating a smooth ending to this post/article, I realize that #1: our Governor in Michigan, Gretchen Whitmer, has been one of the top tyrannical dictators. She has done and said similar scenarios as the Governor of Illinois. Yet, our Michigan court somehow sided with her? Her family went up North last weekend to her 2nd home. I saw photos of her in a restaurant without a mask and with several other people. Her husband was exposed as trying to get a favor, because he is “the Governor’s husband “. He asked a boat dock company to let him “jump the line” because of who his wife is. She first said it never happened. But later went on Television & explained that “it was his failed attempt at humor”. Which one is it? The same rules have been applied to Michigan, but even more arbitrary and nonsensical. How can Lottery tickets be essential, but a knee replacement which would alleviate great pain, is not? I cannot top those words just above. I would like to reiterate the judges words and say to you….”Liberty, freedom and the constitution should always win”…..thank you for being here.

A Sad New Existence


I have never been either a Republican or a Democrat.  I vote based on knowledge and who I feel will do their best job for the people of this formerly free country, the USA. You can disagree with me after reading this post. You can choose to never read another one of my articles.  But I’m not mean, selfish, unkind or cruel to anyone, so there is no reason to treat me that way either. I’d like you to just hear me out, since I’m not a “finatic” of either viewpoint. But feel free to just keep scrolling if you don’t like what I’m about to write.

Our President, imho, has done his best from very early on, to save human lives. He stopped travel from China at the end of January, 10 days after the first diagnosed case in the USA. He did this while Nancy Pelosi was Encouraging people to go to Chinatown events in CA on 2-24-20. The radical Democrats were involved in their deep commitment to undo the 2016 election results and they were impeaching the President as he was still working for our Country and trying to keep us safe.  They were impeaching him for a phone call in which the witnesses (who were actually present) and the party on the other end of the telephone call, insisted there was no QPQ.  Every witness who was actually present, corroberrated the fact that there was no Quid Pro Quo involved.

I have never been one to write or chat about politics, especially on my Social media accounts. It’s a “no win” situation because everyone has the right to their opinion. By the way, having the right to voice your own opinion is starting to slip away from us in the USA these days. I’m tired of being silent. But as I start to come out and stand by by own beliefs and try to stand up for what I strongly believe to be true, I’m being verbally abused if I dare speak out against these draconian rules in all but a handful of states.  While they feel free to voice their opinions, they attempt to deny me the right to discuss mine. I never mind having kind and civil discussions.  But if you call me “stupid” or let your “Facebook buddies” call me “ignorant” and/or worse, then I am going to be blocking you. I’m losing my Facebook friends, long time social media buddies, because I dare voice my opinion with data to back it up.

But why should I be surprised? I was a very outspoken and strong advocate for the pain community for many years, from 2008-2018/19.  But since I had an auditory/brain tumor removed surgically, this past Summer 2019; people are “unfriending” me because I’m of no use to them any longer. I have had several commendations (since 2008), for helping others who live with High Impact Chronic Pain due to several various illnesses.  I was awarded a “Special Tribute” from the Governor of Michigan in 2017, along with the U.S. Pain Ambassador of the year award in February of 2017.  I’ve continued posting updated and reliable information to the High Impact/Chronic Pain and RSD/CRPS communities. I try to still lend my support as I’m able in my own support/info groups. There are a few people who have stood by my side and even offered to help me with my groups.  For them, I am eternally grateful and I am blessed to have them in my Life and/or social media life. Some of them have different opinions about politics; but we have managed to separate that and stay friends. The reason I brought this up, is because it seems that in the past few years, people seem to block, berate, degrade, be rude, act abusively and “run away”  from anyone who does not think or feel the same way as they do.

The USA is my country and I’ve always been proud to be an American. I’ve never been and still am not “Right” or “Left”. I guess you could say I’m “Right to center”.  I have voted for Republicans and Democrats in the past. I’m just really sad and tired of seeing this POTUS berated day after day for 3 years now.  He has actually has a great timeline of actions that have been helping with this COVID-19 crisis, including trying to keep us from a big Depression.  Many citizens are tired of hearing how our President “called this virus a hoax and did nothing until March 2020”.  So I did reseach and here are highlights from the timeline during January-March 2020.(the list is so long & full, I only highlighted January-March 2020 *parts of this list are from the White House website & other parts are actual Tweets from the WHO & CDC etc)

  1.  January 11, 2020:  CDC tweets about Corona related “pneumonia outbreak in China”
  2.  January 14, 2020:  WHO tweets that there is no evidence of human to human transmission
  3. January 17, 2020:  CDC started doing health screenings at 3 airports of travelers from China
  4. January 21, 2020:  the first COVID-19 case in USA for someone who traveled directly from Wuhan
  5. January 23, 2020:  WHO again says no human to human transmission outside of China
  6. January 28, 2020:  CDC states “While CDC considers COVID-19 a serious situation and is taking preparedness measures, the immediate risk in the USA is considered low”
  7.  January 29, 2020:  White House announces Coronavirus Task Force created.  Note:  this is despite the WHO downplaying the threat
  8. January 31, 2020:  President Trump bans travel from China.  The media and multiple Democrats slam his decision calling it racisist and xenophobic.
  9.  February 5, 2020:  President Trump was acquitted (impeachment)
  10.  February 5, 2020:  Chuck Schumer, in a tweet, continues to call POTUS’ travel ban from China “premature”
  11.  February 7, 2020:  White House’s Coronavirus Task force gives press briefing
  12.  February 9, 2020:  White House Coronavirus Task Force meets with all Governors
  13.  February 12, 2020:  CDC waiting for approval from Chinese for CDC team to travel to China
  14.  February 18, 2020:  HHS announces partnership to develop a vaccine
  15.  February 21, 2020:  Italy identifies its very first case of COVID-19 in their country
  16.  February 21, 2020:  CDC tweets that it is working with states for preparedness
  17.  February 24, 2020:  POTUS sent letter to Congress asking for $2.5 Billion for virus effort
  18.  February 24, 2020:  Nancy Pelosi was touring San Francisco’s Chinatown to “quell Coronavirus fears”.  She encouraged peopl to “please come and visit and enjoy Chinatown”.
  19.  February 25, 2020:  there is still no reported community spread in the USA (per CDC tweet)
  20.  February 27, 2020:  first community transmission in the USA
  21.  February 27, 2020:  President Trump appoints VP Pence to coordinate efforts
  22.  February 29, 2020:  FIRST reported Coronavirus death in USA
  23.  February 29, 2020:  The Trump administration:  A)  announced a level 4 travel advisory to areas of Italy and S. Korea,  B)  Barred all travel to Iran.  C)  Barred the entry of foreign citizens who visited Iran in the last 14 days.
  24.  March 3, 2020:  The CDC lifted federal restrictions on coronavirus testing to allow any American to be tested for coronavirus, “subject to Dr.’s orders”
  25.   March 3, 2020:  The White House announced President Trump donatated his fourth quarter salary to fight the coronavirus
  26.   March 4, 2020:  A) The Trump administration announced the purchase of approx. 500 million N95 respirators over the next 18 months to respond to the outbreak of the novel coronavirus.  B)  Sec. Azar announced that HHS was transferring $36 million to the CDC to help state and local communities that have been impacted most by the coronavirus.
  27.  March 6, 2020:  President Trump signed an $83 billion bill to fight the COVID-19 outbreak ($7.76 billion to federal, state & local agencies to combat the COVID-19 and authorizes an additional %500 million in waivers for Medicare telehealth restrictions).
  28.  March 9, 2020:  POTUS called on Congress to pass a payroll tax cut over coronavirus
  29.  March 10, 2020:  President Trump and VP Pence met with top health insurance companies and secured a commitment to waive co-pays for COVID-19 testing
  30.  March 11, 2020:  President Trump:  A)  announced travel restrictions on foreigners who had visited Europe in the las 14 days  B)  Directed the Small Business Administration to issue low-interest loans to affected smal business and called on congress to increase this fund by $50 billion  C)  Direccted the Treasury Dept. to defer tax payments for affected individuals & businesses , & provide $200 billion in “additional liquidity”.
  31.  March 13, 2020:  President Trump announced:  A)  public-private parnerships to open up drive-through collection sites.  B)  a pause on interest payments on federal student loans.  C)  An order to the Dept. of Energy to purchase oil for the strategc petroleum reserve
  32.  March 14 2020:  POTUS announced the European travel ban will exten to UK and Ireland
  33.  March 15, 2020:  Google announced a partnership with the Trump admin. to develop a website dedicated to coronavirus education, prevention and local resources
  34.  March 15, 2020:  all 50 states were contacted through FEMA to coordinate “federally-supported, state-led efforts” to end coronavirus
  35.  March 16, 2020:  POTUS A) hele a tel-conference with Governors to discuss preparedness and response to COVID-19  B)  POTUS participated in call with G7 leaders  C) POTUS announced the 1st potential vaccine for COVID-19 has entered phase I trial in record time  D) POTUS announces “15 days to slow the spread”
  36.  March 17, 2020:  POTUS announced:  A) CMS to expand benefits for Medicare beneficiaries  B) Relevant Health Ins. Portability & Accountability act penalties will not be enforced  C)  The Army Corps of Engineers is on “standby” to assist federal & state governments
  37.  March 17, 2020:  POTUS spoke to fast food executives  from Wendy’s, McDonald’s & Burger King to discus drive-thru serves recommended by CDC
  38.  March 17, 2020: the treasury dept:  contributed $10 mllion to Federal Reserve’s commercial paper funding facility and deferred $300 billion in tax payments for 90 days without penalty, up to $1 million for individual and $10 million for business
  39.  March 18, 2020:  POTUS signed the Families First Coronavirus Response Act, which provides free testing and pain sick leave for workers impacted by COVID-19
  40. March 18, 2020:  President Trump announced:  A) temp. closure of the USA/Canada border to non-essential traffic  B) Plans to invoke the Defense Production Act  C) FEMA has been activated in every region at its highest level of response D)  The US Navy will deploy USNS Comfort and USNS Mercy hospital ships.  E)  All foreclosures & evictions will be suspended for a time **Also HHS temp suspended a rgulation that prevents Dr.’s from practicing across state lines.
  41.   March 19, 2020:  POTUS announced very encouraging progress shown by anti-marlaria drug Hydroxychoroquine for fighting coronavirus
  42. March 20, 2020:  USA and Mexico mutually agree to restrict nonessential cross-border traffic
  43.  March 20, 2020:  President Trump spoke with Sen. Schumer about Coronavirus response and stimulus measures   B)  he held a call with over 12, 0000 small business owners to discuss relief efforts  and he C)  announced the CDC will invoke Title 42 to provide border patrol with tools to secure the borders
  44. March 21, 2020:  POTUS admin announced HHS placed order for hundres of millions of N95 masks through FEMA
  45.  March 22, 2020:  POTUS made disaster declarations for CA and Washington state and he announced:  A)  Governors will remain in command of Ntl Guard forces & the federal govt. will fund 100% of operations cost and  B)  He directed the federal govt to provide 4 large federal medical stations with 2,000 beds for CA and & 1,000 beds for NY and WA and C) POTUS announced that the USNS Mercy will be deployed in LA
  46.   March 23, 2020:  President Trump signed and executive ordere invoking section 4512 of the Defense Production Act to prohibit the hoarding of vital medical supplies
  47.  March 25, 2020:  President Trump signed a bill reauthorizing the Older Americans Act, which supports senior citizens by providing meals, transportation and other curcial services.
  48.  March 26, 2020: POTUS did vido conference with G20 leaders to discuss global COVID-19 response and the need for countries to share information and data and POTUS also had a call with Chinese President Xi Jinping to discus coronavirus
  49.  March 27, 2020:  President Trump signs the CARES Act in law  (*Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act)
  50.  March 29, 2020:  POTUS met with supply chain distributors including Fed Ex, and UPS and others to discus getting medical supplies to state and local govt.’s
  51.  March 30, 2020:  President Trump announced the Federal Govt. will be delivering:  400 ventilators to Michigan, 300 to New Jersey, 150 to Louisiana, 150 to Illinois & 50 to Connecticut and POTUS also pledged $100 million of medical supplies to aid Italy’s battle against COVID-19
  52. March 31, 2020:  A)  POTUS announced the Treasury Dept. & SBA rapidly mobilizing money from the CARES Acts $349 bilion paycheck protection program, with the program set to be “up & running by April 3, 2020. B)  He also Spoke to Michigan’s Governor Whitmer about the states need for ventilators C)  POTUS instructed the Army Corps of Engineers and FEMA to construct several hospitals and alternative care facilities

It is helpful to look at the actual timeline.  All of this started to happen before the first death linked to COVID19 https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1189286 in the USA.  I got most of the information from the CDC tweets, so anyone can look it up to check for accuracy. There are so many other actions in between but I just took some of the highlights & ended mine at March 31 2020. The first several actions that I’ve listed through 2/29/20, were copied from a friend.  But you can take a look at the entire list here at:  List of all of the things that President Donald Trump has done to help combat the novel coronavirus

As I mentioned above, I’m not a Democrat or a Republican. I base my choices on facts (not hated, fear or other emotions) that I gather from watching and listening to all sides.  But honestly, many people have never given our President a chance.

Lastly, I have been & I am following the rules. I am also praying that someone can save us from something far worse than this virus. There are some things worse to lose than our lives. Losing our liberties, our freedoms and the freedoms for our children & grandchildren is something we need to protect. It was just fine to shut down for a few weeks, but not a few months or longer! Anyone who is afraid to go out, should feel free to stay in the safe, solitary confinement of their homes. Protect the elderly, the sick and the most vulnerable (meaning nursing & other homes for the sick). But we should have a choice, because this is the USA! Last time I checked, we were and are still a free country! When they (Dr Fauci, Kolodny & CDC) took pain meds from the chronic pain community in or around 2016 (with the new CDC guidelines), they removed the freedoms from the physicians & patients to decide what is best for their personal pain illnesses. At that time & ever since; the pain community has tried to fight back. I know this because I’m a part of that pain community.

Now we need to work hard at getting our freedoms back! I didn’t mind staying in my home for a few weeks-(2 months) or wearing a mask for a little while to help stop the virus! But there will be many more viruses to come! I don’t want to stay indoors separated from not only society but family; or wear a mask forever! It causes me anxiety and inability to not only breathe freely- BUT I AM DEAF!! I can’t even communicate with anyone who doesn’t know ASL when you’re all wearing masks!! It also takes away my ability to lipread & try to piece together what you might be saying.

C’mon- we don’t stop flying in airplanes or driving cars because of the possibility of a crash!! Road traffic crashes are a leading cause of death in the United States for people aged 1–54 The CDC website on Death from car accidents 2019

Hell, I survived a catastrophic car accident in 2002! I’m still here after 11 surgeries, lots of high impact chronic pain, a pacemaker (x2), a heart attack and a stroke! Let’s live our best life while we are here! Protect the freedoms for our families! We cannot roll over now! Please read a variety of news articles and watch a variety of News shows! You won’t get the truth from just one!! Put all of the information you receive together and make your own informed decision. If your decision is to wear a mask forever, live in your house and get take-out; then by all means, stay home & stay inside! But if I want to go out, let me make that choice! Don’t allow that to be the choice of our Governors or even the President (*except for a short time during an emergency)!!

Lastly, I’m not being selfish! I’m saying please stay inside if you are afraid or vulnerable. But let it be our choice and not an Executive order from a judge, Governor, President or any radical person with a gavel!

The Story of My Experiences With USPF


Here’s the link to Pat Anson’s Pain News Network article week of 5-12-19:Misappropriation of funds by the US Pain Foundation

I’ve had some things weighing on my mind lately. I had thought about keeping them to myself because I’m not a person who likes to be in the midst of turmoil. I try to live as drama-free as I possibly can. But a few months ago, I was contacted by Pat Anson, from the “Pain News Network”. I declined to speak about the events hovering around the US Pain Foundation & decided to take the high road and not allow my feelings and emotions take flight. It’s been an entire year & I let “the dust settle”. I waited an entire year to post my story about this. I didn’t want this post to be written with anger or any feelings of revenge. But there are a few issues that have been tugging at my heart and bothering my mind. These continue to nag me in my thoughts.

Since Pat Anson’s articles have surfaced; I’ve read several pieces of information that are now public knowledge. I’ve decided that there are some things I’d like to share because I do have a story to tell. I will only share with you my personal observations, opinions and experiences.

First, I must share that when I was added to the Board of Directors of the US Pain Foundation,(officially on January 31, 2018), I was excited. Around that time, I decided to call one of the persons whose photo I’d seen on the USPF website listed as a Board Member. She was also director of their Medical Cannabis program. I’d been told she was a veteran Board member. I called to ask her a few questions, such as: “What was it like, being on the Board? What do we do as Board Members etc?” She laughed & told me that “there was no real Board of Directors”. She added that they’d never even had a board meeting! I was a bit disappointed at hearing this news. But it was soon confirmed. The Board of Directors of the USPain Foundation, were actually just photographs on the USPF website, prior to January, 2018. There was no true Board of Directors. There had been no board meetings or elections. So….I’m guessing there was there no secretary or treasurer? I’m guessing this means that nobody had to get permission to write checks? Didn’t they have to answer to anyone about how or where to spend donation monies? How does the President, Vice President & Executive Director & other upper management, not know what & where money is coming in and/or going out?

(*I’d  been a “volunteer ambassador”since November 2015. I did Awareness events and fundraisers. All the while I thought I was doing something good. I wanted to be a good advocate and help people living with pain, like myself.)

In looking back, in my opinion, It seems to me that when upper management realized that things had somehow gotten out of hand and that the USPF might be slipping away, they decided to get lawyers and accountants involved in an attempt to “fix” a situation that they’d created. It seemed to have finally become something larger that they could no longer handle alone. Again, this is just me looking back, trying to make sense of the entire debacle.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The first meeting was in California, in January 2018. But I was too ill to travel that far and watched it as a Zoom meeting. Nothing of super importance was discussed, from my recollection. After being recruited to the Board, I still had no knowledge of any significance until much later in the year. Also, in January of 2018, they wouldn’t allow me to make it public, that I’d been appointed to their Board of Directors. My volunteer position as Board Member was not added to their website until March that year. Over the following months, I found out what a mess things were and I immediately wanted to resign. I was advised by one of the attorneys, that “it wouldn’t look good” for USPF, if anyone on the Board resigned during that time. (*Even though Dr Abaci immediately resigned from the board when he found out about the misuse of funds in the past).

I was told that we should all stay and help to reorganize & rebuild USPF. The attorneys explained that it wouldn’t really look good for any of the Board Members to resign in the midst of this reorganization. Therefore I stayed for as long as I felt that I was doing something good. Even prior to becoming a Board member, I was given “busy work” & then asked to do research & write two articles for the “Learn About Your Pain” portion of their website. I was asked to research, write and include links with graphics about S.I.B.O and Dysautonomia. I turned in several pages of completed research. Almost a year later, I inquired about when everything that I had done was going to be posted to the “Learn About Your Pain” website? I received angry emails from several members telling me that with everything that USPF was going through, how could I even think about myself? (In Spring of 2018, I was also asked to make a video about RSD/CRPS, that I in fact made and it also was never used). I was asked (3) three times, to be a part of the USPF “INvisible Project”. A 4th time, I was told that I could tell my husband that he was going to be a part of the “Caregiver” edition of the INvisible project. Each time I was invited to be a part of that, I signed video/photo releases and I answered 10-12 questions in complete sentences. I gathered photos etc., and turned them into the USPF’s person in charge of that project with the interim CEO. Each time,within days of handing back my completed tasks (*just remember that I am also a chronic pain patient and was an unpaid volunteer), I received an email from the person helping the interim CEO with that project. She just told me things like “Ooops, My Bad?? I guess the interim CEO has something bigger in store for you later”! This went on for over a year.

In getting back to the true issues at hand, in Or around early Spring 2018, we asked the former CEO to resign. The Board meetings were only and always about the situation that USPF found themselves in, regarding the former CEO. Then in July, 2018; my Pain Management doctor told me that he was going to immediately remove me from my long acting/extended release pain medications (after almost 14 years of doing well on them). He said it was because of the CDC Guidelines.

I left the appointment that day in tears. I feared for my life and what the future was going to feel like. I arrived at home to an email from the US Pain Foundation. It was a survey asking people to tell what they know about Bupenorphrine. Being a board meeting member, I immediately called the interim CEO. I shared with her my shock & dismay about this email that went out to the pain community; the very people who I try to advocate for and protect. I asked her, what prompted this survey? I found out that the foundation had received a donation from the company that makes Suboxone/Bupenorphrine ( Here’s a list of the medications that RBI makes). My exact words to her were “How could you allow USPF get in bed with Andrew Kolodny?” She tried to assure me that Suboxone wasn’t anything like Bupenorphrine (*see photos that are included with this article). I was told I didn’t know what I was talking about and I was mistaken. She went on to explain that one condition of the donation was to get the public to have more knowledge, or to see what the pain community actually knew about Bupenorphrine. Next, I asked the interim CEO if she knew that the drug Bupenorphrine was not FDA approved for pain (at that time), in the USA? I told her it was an addiction medication and that people are labeled an addict once they’re put on Suboxone/Bupenorphrine; even if it’s for chronic pain! She told me that members of the pain community should have access to all different kinds of medications and therapies. I was very upset and I decided to do more research.Bupenorphrine is a weak analgesic that may slightly help those who have chronic pain AND addiction

Along with many among the chronic pain community, I had already been personally feeling that USPF has not been supportive of opioids, for chronic pain. I have written two articles about these medications: About Suboxone/Buprenorphine-and-naloxone and More About Bupenorphrine/Suboxone. I wrote these articles because I felt that the pleas of the chronically ill, the disabled and those of us living with daily ongoing high pain illnesses/issues; were not being listened to. We were not being heard by our Drs, the government or our own US Pain Foundation.

As soon as that conversation with the interim CEO ended; I knew that my time volunteering with USPF was coming to an end. I had been already feeling that they “push” complimentary therapies and medical cannabis without any support for a portion of the pain community who relies on opioids for pain control. They portray complimentary therapies as though they can actually end chronic pain without any help from medications. They publicly & actively support their medical marijuana program. If they can support a Federally illegal substance; (which I’m personally not against when & where it is legal; and only for medicinal purposes), and if they support all methods to alleviate pain, then where’s their opioid program? I feel that people should be able to use Marijuana, Kratom, acupuncture or opioids to alleviate their daily chronic pain. But opioids have been taboo within the USPF. Possibly for some political reason, in my opinion.

Another occurrence that helped me decide to resign after only 8 months of being on the Board of Directors, was when I found out about the movie/documentary that the interim CEO was making with Actress, Karen Duffy. It just feels to me, like she & other upper management persons within the US Pain Foundation are more interested in publishing books and being in movies, than actually helping the pain community. My sadness grew deeper when I watched the movie trailer: Balancing The Pain Scale, a documentary with actress Karen Duffy & interim CEO of USPF . Some of words taken directly from the trailer are “getting beyond the pill bottle”. Once again, USPF was demonizing opioids. I’m not the only one who saw this either. Here is an article that I found from A prominent advocate for the pain community : A Blog Post from Steve Ariens, “Pharmacist Steve”.

The very last straw for me was when the Interim CEO & the rest of the Board, contemplated not telling the USPF “In-person” support group leaders that they were no longer covered by insurance. I was the only Board member who said that I’d have no part of that! If you’d like to read my resignation letter (redacted items are the attorneys names and anything that was not my information to share), it is here: Why I Resigned From The US Pain Foundation

I still find it difficult to believe that nobody else who’d been in upper management of the foundation for several years, knew anything regarding the going out and coming in of money/funds?

After my resignation, I started hearing stories from ex-Ambassadors that involved a couple of upper management persons being involved in some behavior that in my opinion, was inappropriate. Some of this allegedly took place during a few USPF sponsored events. In 2016, July; at the University of New England, “Pain Summit”, my husband and I stayed overnight at a nearby hotel instead of staying at the dorms. It appears that we missed seeing anything first-hand; but according to at least 2 eyewitnesses (one that actually called & showed me some videos), there were high ranking members involved in behaviors that I would consider inappropriate for anyone, let alone, upper management of a non-profit. Especially not during an event sponsored and run by that same Non-Profit.

All of this has been on my mind. I didn’t want to lose my integrity by talking to someone else about all of this. I decided that this is my blog & my own story to tell. I’ve given you my observations, opinions & truth to the best of my knowledge.

Reckett Benkaiser being Sued by 35 states

Who Makes Bupenorphrine?

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**BELOW IS A 1 MINUTE VIDEO SHARING MY CREDENTIALS. THIS VIDEO SHARES ALSO THE VIEWS OF US PAIN ABOUT ME & MY VOLUNTEER WORK WITH THEIR ORGANIZATION FOR ALMOST 4 YEARS:

A YouTube Video with my Credentials

Tides Turning For Opioid Patients?


Hello Luvs,

This PDF was sent to me by my friend & fellow advocate, David Cole. I wanted to find a good way to share it with everyone. Please let me know if you have any problems at all with sharing it.

Thank you and I wish each of you peace, Hope, love & Light. Let’s hope that the people in Washington state will help to share their awareness with the other 49 states. I truly pray that someone who is capable and willing to help the chronic intractable & high impact pain community reads this File. I hope that someone will help us. Please start to once again take care of the sick, disabled and those living with horrible daily pain.

Please read this file about the tide starting to turn in the state of Washington for the pain community. Our voices are finally being heard. Share this everywhere far and wide with News Media & On Social Media! We deserve to live some semblance of a life; same as everyone else. We are not “less than” other people who haven’t gone through tragedy or illness. We are worth it!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/tibqrx8clichs39/Opioid-PatientsINS2019-02.pdf?dl=0

Health experts offer solutions for unintended consequences of opioid crackdown | Fox News


Hello Luvs,

This information came to me via an email & so I wanted to share it with you:

The most urgently needed first step to addressing the misunderstandings about Centers for Disease and Prevention opioid prescribing guidelines, many clinicians and health experts say, is for the agency to clarify – in a high-profile way– what the guidelines were meant, and not meant, to do.
— Read on www.foxnews.com/health/undoing-the-harm-of-the-response-to-the-opioid-overdose-epidemic-health-experts-suggest-solutions.amp

Also, here is The Fox News Sequence of Stories Regarding the Opioid Hysteria & Chronic Pain Patients .

One of several very special physicians, who’ve been helping fight for the rights of Drs and chronic pain patients is Dr Stefan Kertesz, MD. He is quoted in this article on Fox News:

  • “We’re targeting the most vulnerable and sickest people who have been on opioids a long time”.

Dr. Stefan Kertesz, addiction specialist and professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Medicine.

Richard Lawhern, a very staunch advocate for chronic pain patient community; is also quoted in this report. He is also advocating for his wife daughter, who live with chronic pain. Here is the quote from Richard aka “Red” Lawhern:

  • “The [CDC opioid guideline] document is fatally flawed and needs to be withdrawn for a major revision in an open public process by qualified experts in community practice for chronic pain treatment, assisted by representatives or advocates from chronic pain communities.”

— Richard Lawhern

Lastly, Lauren Deluca, founder of Chronic Illness Advocacy & Awareness Group“,(an ever growing & popular Non profit 501/3c) is quoted here:

  • “Too many flawed approaches and policies targeting pain patients, she said, “will take many years to undo, but we can’t wait years.”
  • She also was quoted as saying this: I myself was a healthy 36-year-old professional embarking on starting a family and in a blink of an eye my life was destroyed due to a denial of care,” Deluca said. “It’s not just about pain; it’s about quality of life. Now we are teaching doctors to ignore pain, which not only leaves the patient suffering but likely will lead to many not getting diagnosed, therefore not only will they not receive pain medications they will not even receive basic care.”

Please read the entire Fox News series of three stories. They are focused on different aspects of this Opioid Hysteria. Also the lack of treatment and compassionate care for the chronic pain community. *The current story, (3rd in a sequence of three), and the other stories in the sequence can be located above. They are the first two, blue hyperlinks, near the top of this blog post.

Lastly, I wanted to share something on the same subject but different platform. As I mentioned above, Lauren Deluca is the founder of CIAAG. (a Non Profit 501 c-3. The link to her group website is above, but let me add it here for you as well: Chronic Illnesses Advocacy: & Awareness Group)

Link to The Documentary Trailer “Untreated: The Healthcare Crisis”

She recently attended an International Meeting with the United Nations in Vienna. According to her website, Lauren spoke about the inhumane  treatment chronic pain patients are facing due to the ‘Opioid Crisis’ in the United States. 

Here’s is a link to get you to a YouTube video that shows her speaking in person at the event:

United Nations Office of Drugs and Crime: 61st Commission on Narcotic Drugs

Please look over everything, that I’ve tried to present to you in one neat little blog post. I hope that you feel updated and possibly more optimistic about the changes coming in this New Year, 2019.

Something must be done to change the deplorable conditions that have been put upon the chronic pain community! These great leaders and others, working together as a united front; that is how we are going to help make the changes that we need to see happen this new year!

Thank you for coming back to visit and read “Tears of Truth”.

They Fell like Dominos: My License, My Certification, My Profession


Hello Luvs,This blog post is actually something that was written and sent to me by Dr Mark Ibsen, MD, a physician from Helena, MT. He wrote and says:

“I had similar experience. 
Guilty. 
Not even “guilty until proven innocent”
Just guilty. 
Once they set their sights on you,
You
Are
Fkkd. 

This system is feudal. 
Primitive. 
Insensitive. 
Ineffective. 
Unchecked, as in no checks or balances. 
Run by appointed people who are completely unaccountable. 
No recourse. 
In the name of “safety”, 
With no evidence of harm. 
Like a trip to the Gulag. 

The key is for patients to realize that doctors have become so vulnerable that we cannot risk ANY exposure to ANY accusations. 
A risk-averse environment due to the hostile regulatory environment we now have. 

So, as more and more patients despair over being abandoned by this system, the sacred physician patient relationship is further tarnished. 

I, for one, will continue to stand by the patients I can, and pray for those I cannot.” 

Here’s the article that accompanied the email from Dr Mark Ibsen, MD:

They Fell like Dominos: My License, My Certification, My Profession

Mark Ibsen MD
Helena MT

Medicare Patients Face New Rx Opioid Rules in 2019 — Pain News Network


Hello Luvs,

I received this information from Pat Anson of the Pain News Network. This information may prove to be very valuable to many of the chronic pain community. I wanted to be sure that you saw this. I also wanted to be sure to share it with you all. This is the new Medicare 2019 rules regarding Opioids.

Medicare Patients Face New Rx Opioid Rules in 2019 — Pain News Network
— Read on www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2018/12/31/medicare-patients-face-new-rx-opioid-rules-in-2019

I hope your 2019 will be Blessed and peaceful. Sending light and love your way.

International Stakeholder Community of Pain Experts and Leaders Call for an Urgent Action on Forced Opioid Tapering | Pain Medicine |Oxford Academic


The aforementioned article proves that there may be hope for the chronic pain community.

In 2016, Andrew Kolodny, (who is co-Director of Opioids policy Research at Brandeis University), along with a group of Addiction specialists & others, went behind closed doors to “invent” & then Implement the 2016 CDC Guidelines regarding the use of Opioids. These were Supposed to be just guidelines for primary care doctors. But they rapidly became “the law” in the eyes of the CDC, DEA, National News Media outlets, Pharmacies & our government officials. Today we even have legitimate, licensed pain management Physicians, heading for the hills! They’re Not following the Hippocratic oath. These physicians are abandoning patients & putting many at high risk, myself included. The way that the chronic pain community has been treated, has been outrageous.

Please feel free to share this article on social media. Print it out and take it with you to your Dr. appointments. Let’s also share it far & wide through the news media channels as well. They’ve been getting it wrong & now need to help change the hysteria & damage that’s been created.

“We, the under signed, stand as a unified community of stakeholders and key opinion leaders deeply concerned about forced opioid tapering in patients receiving lolong-term prescription opioid therapy for chronic pain. This is a large-scale humanitarian issue. Our specific concerns involve:
— Read on academic.oup.com/painmedicine/advance-article/doi/10.1093/pm/pny228/5218985

Protected: What Really Happened Between NPR, USPF and Me?


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The Opioid Hysteria Hits Home


Hello Luvs,

I wanted to write to you today to share with you something that I know many of us are dealing with these days. It’s about what happened at my pain management Dr. appointment on 11-8-18. First of all, every 30 days, I have to go and endure this treatment and I live with PTSD. It always rears its ugly head the day prior to my appointment with this Dr. or any new Dr. appointments. I’ll just refer you to my other article “Down the Rabbit Hole” if you need a reminder as to what has occurred up until now.

I arrived at the appointment which was in the late morning this time. I usually go in the afternoon because mornings are difficult for me, with my pain issues. But the past 6 months or so, I’ve had horrible anxiety when I know this appointment is drawing nearer. The closer it gets, the worse I start to feel psychologically and physically with the above symptoms on top of the pain. I decided to make this appointment in the morning because I thought it would not ruin our day so much. Just “get it over with” and be done; get on with our day. But it once again, did ruin my/our day.

I’ve had this pain management Dr. since July 2015, after my other Dr. of 15 years left suddenly. At that time I had been on the fentanyl patch and the lollipops for 10 years. This Dr. told me he would only accept me if I took myself off of the lollipops and I did it. I had to suffer through physical dependence withdrawals. I did it at home with my soulmate, my husband.

I’ve never rescheduled an appointment with him, nor have I ever been late. I’ve never run out of meds or asked for them early.  He knows of every medication that I take or have taken and honestly, I don’t feel like its up to me to have to “remind” him that I sometimes take Fiorcet for Chiari Migraines. He and I had a mutual respect sort of Dr./patient relationship up until April of this year 2018.  But that day everything changed and it turned out to be nothing that I did wrong. He had forgotten that I take Fiorcet and it doesn’t always show up on MAPS (Michigan Automated Prescription Service – *explanation found here*: https://www.michigan.gov/lara/0,4601,7-154-72600_72603_55478—,00.html) because its such a low risk medication and not a high class either.  But whether it shows up on the MAPS is not up to me. Nor is it my fault in any way if it shows up or not, as long as he’s known from the beginning that I’ve been on it for more than 7 years.  This one particular day in April, he started being rude to me for no reason whatsoever. I went to my appointments in May, June and July.  But I was horribly anxious and very “ill” prior to each appointment, due to anxiety and PTSD symptoms.

This last visit was another horrible appointment and was possibly the final one for me. I am done being treated like a criminal or an addict! I’m tired of feeling “put down”! I’ve never smoked or drank; nor have I ever taken any drugs. I received one more short acting script and now I will be tapering myself slowly off of the short acting medication as well. It will be horrible because it’s already horrible. It will be difficult and it’s already difficult.  He lied to me in July, telling me that “in Michigan, Fentanyl patch is illegal for him to prescribe (he is a pain management Dr. and Anesthesiologist MD), unless someone has malignant cancer”. I know this is not true and he told me that “I am smart and should be able to verify this online”.  I checked Michigan law and the fentanyl patch warning on the box. It says only that it is “for chronic long term moderate to severe pain that will not be going away.” If anyone has any idea where I can find this in writing; I welcome that information.

I got a letter from my GI Dr. (*see letter below) because he felt it was dangerous to take me off of the Fentanyl patch. With Gastroparesis, SIBO and Chronic Erosive Gastritis; along with EDS type 4/vascular and more, I am not able to metabolize the long acting oral meds. Believe, me, I’ve tried many things and either was allergic, got very ill, it did not help at all or it had large valleys and spikes. The patch just worked for my pain and it was the best match for me and my multiple co-morbidities.

Yesterday’s appointment he told me that “Chronic pain does not kill anyone”. I told him that I was in my recliner now 16+ hours per day due to the pain. He responded by telling me that my cardiologist should not have put me on Clonidine. I’ve been on it since 2015, but went off of it for awhile in between. He knew this also but apparently it slipped his mind because that must be what’s making me “tired.” But in reality, it’s the pain that’s keeping me down. Also, I only get about 4 hours of sleep on a good night.

My cardiologist told me to take 1/2 of only 1mg at night. He prescribed it for me and said it would help with the physical pain & dependence withdrawals. Thank goodness someone cared enough to help me a bit!

I tried to explain that I had resigned from many activities that I was able to do with the medications. He told me that none of this has to do with the medication for pain being taken away after 14 years. He went on to say that “Susan (you’d think after 3.5 years he’d get that my name is “SUZANNE” not “Susan), you and other chronic pain patients are hostages to the pain medications”. These are the same medications that he was fine with for the 3.5 years I’ve been going to him! He also knew that my history was even longer. I’ve been taking opioids since 2005, in order to have some semblance of a life. But just for the record, I’ll let you know that I tried everything else possible fir 3 years, before resorting to the opioids.

This pain management Dr. has told me all along that he cannot make my pain go away. But he can help lessen the pain by prescribing opioids. When he made the “hostage” comment, I responded with; well “instead , now I’m a hostage to the pain”. Yesterday he told us (my husband & me), that all of his patients still tell him they have pain “with or without the pain meds”. I responded by telling him “Yes, that is true, but I had a life with the meds and I have no quality of life now. The pain medication dulled the pain without ever giving me any kind of “high”. Now the pain is much more sharp, pronounced and at the front of my thoughts. I’m not able to concentrate much or put the pain in another place at the back of my brain.”

I started to explain to him that I have several “Physicians, pain physicians and nurses that are my friends online”.  I added that this past week I was diagnosed after an echocardiogram, with “left atrium enlargement”. I’ve had a heart attack, a CVA and a TIA twice. I have Atrial fibrillation, Sick Sinus Syndrome and a pacemaker since 2003. I’ve never had CHF but that’s what this means. I told him that “chronic pain can kill and under treated chronic pain can make blood sugar and blood pressure rise”, which has been happening to me.  He became very upset with me and started to pontificate about how “each symptom needs to be treated by a Dr. who takes care of that problem.  If my blood sugar is high, I need to go to a diabetes Dr. and if my blood pressure is too high, then I need that addressed by a physician who takes care of that issue. He went on to say that “chronic long term pain does not and cannot kill you.  Only acute pain can possibly make BP and HR etc. rise.” But from Dr. Tennant’s own account in his article (Practical Pain Mgmt. By Dr Forrest Tennant MD , from another article, by Pharmacist Steve Ariens, ( Harmful Effects of Untreated Pain )  and this article that I had written last year (that was also published in Ntl. Pain Report), “Chronic pain can kill” (Untreated Chronic Pain Can Lead to Sudden Cardiac Death ), he is the one who is lying.

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