Letter To Leaders of Oregon Forced Taper


Below I’ve copied the letter that I wrote to the leaders of the state of Oregon, regarding their new proposal for forced taper off of all opioids in their state:

To Leaders of the state of Oregon,

I am writing to you with a plea for all of your constituents, as well the entire chronic pain population in the USA. What you are proposing to do, by eliminating opioids, is considered torture by the World Health Organization. You are also setting a precedent for other states, if this action against all opioids goes through!

When I’m proposing a big change, even just in my own household; I try to put myself in the place of other family members that my change will affect. Please put yourself in the “shoes (so to speak)”, of the thousands & later on, millions of chronic pain patients that you’ll be affecting and in reality, torturing. If you remove all opioids from your state, the suicide rate will increase dramatically and many intractable pain patients and their families will suffer.

Please think about what you are doing to trauma victims, burn victims and people with horrible chronic pain illnesses and cancer. Would you want to suffer with daily horrible pain, or would you want to take something that has been working for possibly even a decade (or more); to give you some semblance of a life with your children, grandchildren and/or your family. 

Please reconsider this act of cruelty and torture on those living with chronic pain in your state (& then future areas as well).

Thank you for reading my letter and I truly hope that your conscience will help you make the right decision for people who live with pain 365/24/7. Also remember that it could be you or your child, wife or parent at any time. We never know from day to say, what might happen. One minute I was sipping lemonade at an art fair; the next moment, I was hit by a car when the driver ran through a red light. This started my life of pain and I never could have imagined what this new life would be like.

Peace & Hope,

Suzanne Stewart

**Below is a photo screenshot that I took Of the reply that I received back from them:

Fighting For Chronic Pain Patients


This is the “Roy Green” syndicated radio show that is heard in Canada & the USA each week. I was contacted by Roy a few days ago and asked to come on the air and speak with him regarding the dire situation that chronic pain patients are living and dealing with these days. I also spoke of how I was informed that I’m losing my own ER/LA pain meds in 2 weeks. The starting point of my segment Is at 39:12 through 54:15. Please feel free to share this with our pain community. Thank you!

Suzanne Stewart on the Roy Green Show, Fighting For Chronic Pain Patients

We are Not Addicts! Get it Through Your Heads!


The Head of CDC says “this is personal “

Read this article and then read my comments here afterwards- please. This is outrageous!

When will they get an unbiased person to take over this “so-called” crisis? An adult, teen or child who willingly takes cocaine or heroin, laced with the bad cara-fentanyl or any fentanyl is wrong for making the choice to do so! This is 100% totally separate from a chronic intractable pain patient getting a prescription from a legitimate pain physician. It’s different because it’s not just a choice, it’s necessary & something many chronic pain patients need to even have some semblance of a life!

If this is such a “personal” matter, then keep it that way! It’s “personal” and those affected by illegal drug use should get the help THEY need; without killing all of the chronic intractable pain patients in the meantime! If we don’t die or commit suicide from living an agonizing “1/2-life” of horrible daily pain, then we are just living a tortured existence of pain combined with fear. Innocent chronic pain patients are also being made to feel like criminals! This is insane!! Please, legislators and others in positions of power over the chronic pain population of this country, take the “personal business “ out of the workplace! Put yourself in the position of knowing that any day you could be hit by a guy who runs a red light, as in my situation! Any one of you or your loved ones could be living with unbearable pain from any number of accidents or illnesses that come up each day! If it was “personal” chronic intractable pain, I’ll bet we’d be getting a different story & a different swing on things!!!

Keeping Hope Alive is Tough!


You never think it will happen to you, until it does. I have been helping others and advocating for them for many years now. I have been writing for the National Pain Report and in my own blog (tearsoftruth.com) for several years as well. I try to give advice to others to help keep their hope alive. On my WEGO Health profile, my favorite words are posted. These are words that I try to live by and a phrase that originated with me, “Hope is a verb, You have to DO something in order to have it”. Now I have to practice what I have been preaching.

I think most of you know that in March 2018, I visited my pain Dr. And he did the usual random urine test. I was told in April that it showed a positive for PCP and something else, I cant even think of right now? Probably because I have no idea what these are and did not ever take them. It ended up being a “false positive” after we were charge $300.00, because HE forgot that I was taking a migraine medication that did not show up on the MAPS. He says it shows up sometimes, not others?

My PTSD symptoms have gotten worse prior to each upcoming pain Dr. visit. He has become less respectful towards me. I used to feel a mutual respect between us. I stopped taking some other cancer pain medication that was prescribed to me before I started seeing him in 2015. I felt that he respected me for being able to do that and go through the withdrawals process. My brain did not ever care about the medication, but my body got very sick when I stopped it.

The past few appointments I have not felt that respect that I had felt in the past. My Dr. was treating me differently. He got angry if I got weepy at all and he yelled at me for crying. Something changed in him and I could see it and feel it, but I was not sure what it was or why it was happening? This week I went to my appointment on Monday, 7-9-18. Things were pretty “normal” during the visit, but he was kind of “short” and “quick” with me, when he used to chit chat a bit and even smile when he told me about his children. At the end of the visit, he said this to me “so we are stopping your Fentanyl patch”. I was stunned because I’ve been on it for 15 yrs and taking less now than I was in 2015. I’ve had some semblance of a life with my husband, kids and grandchildren. I’ve been doing quite well and now he was taking away something that I’ve been doing very well with. Then came the “big lie”; (*which I know is untrue because I asked my Neurologist and Cardiologist and I was told it was not true whatsoever). He told me that I was “probably not getting more than 30% of the medication anyways because I’m not “fat” or “heavy enough”. That the fentanyl patch works better on “fat/heavy people” or “people with more body fat than I have”.” I questioned him, but I knew enough not to question him too much. I did not want to make the person that I depend on to have some kind of life at all, angry with me. My husband brought the empty bottle of my Migraine medicine to show him that I did have an 8 month old script and recently got a new refill. It was not showing up in the MAPS and my husband asked him if we should ask the pharmacy to make sure it is in that system? He told us that “they don’t like if you know too much, its best not to say anything”. What the heck is that all about? We are supposed to be lambs/sheep and follow orders and jump off the cliff if told to do so, without ever asking any questions? I’ve always found it better to be knowledgeable in my own treatment and healthcare. But this is not the case today, I guess?

Lastly, I put myself into old “abuse mode”. It was the same as the “old days” and I put myself in another place, disassociated until we could get the hell out of that room. All I wanted to do is cry and be hysterical for a few moments with the one person who loves me and who protects me to the best of his abilities and who is my soul-mate, my husband. I heard him tell me that he was taking away my patch and that I could take a different extended release medication “MS Contin”. But, I told him that I am unable to take that medication because I have Gastroparesis and even before I was diagnosed with GP, I could not take that medication because it made me sick, violently ill. That was the only choice I had and he gave me “one more month to be psychologically ready” but my dose was lowered and spread out for another full day. In one month I will be taken off of my patch after 15 years, with no tapering and nothing that matches the strength and pain lowering levels of what has worked for me for so long.

We are now at the mercy of the government in our patient rooms. He says that the state and federal government are making him do this to me. But there is no “law” that I can find in Michigan yet, stating that all persons taking Fentanyl for chronic pain must be removed from taking it now. I’m sorry that I don’t believe that you must be “heavy person” in order for the Fentanyl to work, because I was pretty much anorexic when I started it and it’s always worked for my pain. I have never had a “high” or any feelings except some relief from the pain of the several high pain illnesses that I live with and have lived with for many years. He also told me that “only those who have cancer are allowed to have these fentanyl patches now”. There is no evidence to prove that cancer pain is any worse than the pain that many of the chronic pain patients have to endure. I know there is a NORD website quote or a quote from the AMA, regarding this but I’m too sick right now to try and find it for you, I apologize. It’s easy to give advice, hope and love to people going through this, but when it is YOU who is going through it, all the love, advice and hope won’t make it better.

The same day that this happened, I awoke at 4:00 am with a feeling like someone was pressing on my left eye. When I opened my eyes, I could not see out of my left eye at all. It was totally pitch black. After a few minutes of screaming hysterically and my husband rushing to my side, I started to see patches of light in a dark mass. Then patches of the living room came into focus. After about 5-10 minutes, I could see again but not as sharp as usual with my glasses on. I went to sleep and in the morning I had a dull ache in my left eye and went to the hospital’s eye clinic that day. The Dr. Said that I had a “mini stroke” or “TIA of the eye”. My blood pressure had been high at the pain Dr. Appointment and my heart rate was 100 bpm before he even came into the room to tell me the news. He told me it was probably from stress and nothing they could do for me after all of the special testing that they did, they sent me home. I visited my heart specialist the next day and filled him in. He concurred with the eye clinic and said it could even have been an Ocular Migraine, but either/or both are from stress and can be a dangerous precursor to a stroke. I had a CVA or stroke in 2006, so I’ve been there and done that already. Today, we are like lambs going off to slaughter and nobody cares if we live or die. As my kind-hearted specialist physician of 15 years told me yesterday, “unfortunately you and people like you are collateral damage to the hysteria taking place right now”. I guess now it is up to me to see if I am able to follow any of the advice that I’ve been giving to others in this same predicament? Will I have another heart attack or another stroke because the legislators don’t care about me as an individual? Will I live to see my granddaughters and new grandson’s lives evolve or will I be a statistic? I guess only time will tell and all I can do is try to “keep hope alive”.

Giving PAIN To Help With Pain?


I read this article called “How to Ease pain without Opioids? Specialists are finding Ways” by Steve Dorfman from Palm Beach Post, a staff writer. He is writing about a clinic that opened in Florida. We all know that Florida is the very worst or one of the worst states to be living with chronic pain and residing in. Does this make any sense at all to the chronic pain patients or any sane individual? The interventions that are being outlined in this article are tortuous to say the least! 

This Dr. Tapia outlines several different approaches to use instead of narcotics or opioids. Why aren’t sick people who are legitimately living with daily chronic pain, allowed to take a pill like everyone else who is really sick? It has NOT been proven that cancer pain is worse than any other form of chronic pain. The CDC rebuked Andrew Kolodny when he tried to use that line on them. It just is not true. I have two family members with cancer and they told me themselves that their pain is “not that bad” and definitely not as bad as many other chronic pain illnesses. At least with most other illnesses there is an end in sight or a treatment that helps but now the chronic pain population are being forced to do painful, torturous and just plain “stupid” things that are supposed to “trick our minds into believing that we feel better”. That is my opinion!

First of all, people who live with daily intractable pain, do not get high, do not abuse their pain medications and do not do anything they should not do with their medications. They use them for pain relief only! The chronic pain population should not be made to continually suffer and die because there are “bad” people who brought “bad” drugs like cara fentanyl over from South America and elsewhere! This is insane! If someone starts abusing insulin to lose weight and then people die, will they start taking insulin away from the Diabetics in America? Guess what? I bet you that won’t ever happen!

This Dr.  In Florida has several approaches.  He and other pain Dr’s who are now “afraid” to prescribe medication that can easily help their patients without giving them more pain on top of the chronic pain they are enduring; are calling this “Interventional Pain medicine”.  They are doing some things like this:  more injections (that sounds fun), nerve blocks (yep they hurt worse and then maybe help for a month, but guess what?? You cannot do that forever!!!), and what they like to call “minimally invasive outpatient surgeries.  This is ludicrous and crazy!

There is this method they are doing where they take your red blood cells out (ouch) and they “spin them around in a special centrifuge machine that separates and concentrates platelets and growth factors, and then it is injected” …get this…this is the “good part”…”they INJECT IT INTO THE PAINFUL AREAS!” That sounds like something I want to try, with systemic  CRPS….NOT… I’ve heard that this may help some forms of Arthritis! But what about all of the other horribly painful illnesses Like Arachnoiditis, CRPS, EDS and many others??? Then there is a high intensity laser therapy “believed by some to promote tissue healing”….yea…sorry…load of crap!  They also have this recently cleared by the FDA device called NIP procedure (NIP stands for noninvasive pain). They use a microchip and acupuncture needles, placed “strategically behind the patients ear”.  This technology transmits a flow of signals to the patient for as long as they are “wearing” the device (usually 4 or 5 days). Well, Ok but what about the rest of your life after 4 or 5 days??

I am talking about intractable pain, chronic pain and pain that will most likely never disappear. These kinds of treatments are asinine for these kinds of chronic pain patients. I’m sorry but taking a pill a couple times a day, that has absolutely no side effects and does not harm me in any way, is a much easier approach for those already living with daily struggles of constant pain that will not eventually disappear.  These “pain interventionists” are just making a lot of money and taking advantage of the chronic pain population. I’m sorry but you cannot just “think this kind of pain away”. You cannot wear a couple of needles behind your ear and watch it “Poof” away! These are insane ideas from an insane culture who are being hysterical about opioids. Opioids have a place in the chronic and acute pain world.  We need palliative of life care. We aren’t going to live as long as the “normal” person anyways. I am not an addict. I am NOT afraid of losing my pain meds, I’m more afraid of feeling the pain when it is not controlled!

My specialist physician told me the other day that “unfortunately, I am collateral damage to the hysteria that is taking place in our society today”. He’s 100% correct and I will probably not live through this again. I lost my physician 3 years ago. One day he was there and he was my Dr. For about 15 yrs. The next day he was gone without an explanation. I was caught going off meds for pain after 12 years “cold turkey”. I was very sick and my blood pressure went high, my blood sugar went high and it was torturous. Last Monday, I was told that my 100 fentanyl patch was being taken away. No tapering, just “one more month to help me get ready psychologically”. What the heck is that about? The safe way is to wean someone 10% every couple of weeks or so. On August 10th I will not be given the patch again. I was offered some other oral extended relief medication but I have Gastroparesis. In what lifetime doesn’t a pain Dr. Or any Dr.  know that Oral opioids, especially extended ones, are not recommended for people who live with Gastroparesis (another painful condition)?? No one cares? I’ve written to my Senator, the president, my state rep and I’ve made videos and blog posts and news articles. Nobody cares about us anymore. Nobody cares about my life or my quality of life any longer? What happened to these United States of America? 

(My information is from http://www.palmbeachpost.com May 21st, 2018 *Please go over there and post comments about your feelings regarding this insanity)

Dear Senator


Hello Luvs,

Below is a copy of a letter that I’m sending to my Senator and possibly to a few other legislators. Of course, I will change it up a bit for the others.

Please give me any constructive feedback or ideas to add to the letter that I’ve written. Be kind and let me know what you think? Thank you so much! I appreciate it.

I have the letter that I got back from the Senator, in response to my first letter to her almost a year ago! So here’s my letter to her, straight out of my email draft! Thank you again.

*********************************

Dear Senator Stabinaw,

Thank you for your response to my 1st letter. Although I think it must have been a response to someone else’s letter to you? My letter was addressing the 26 million intractable chronic pain patients who now find themselves cut off from any kind of opioid pain relief therapy. There is a place for opioids, when many other methods of pain relief have been tried and failed for one reason or another. The opioid “crisis” has truly zero to 1% to do with chronic pain patients and has much more to do with the illegal fentanyl and Cara-fentanyl brought over to the US from China etc.

I was asking you to help the chronic intractable pain patients in our state and in the USA. They are being forgotten in all of this. The government needs to stay out of the Dr. /patient relationships & exam rooms. That’s a wonderful thing to stop drug abuse and substance abuse disorder. But not at the expense, loss and inhumane treatment of the chronic intractable pain patients lives.

The chronic pain community is seeing a rise in suicides with the gross reduction in opioid prescribing. We had another fatality just this week (April 2018), I will include a link to that story with this letter. A young mother who loved her 11 year old boy and her husband, was ill before & during every pain Dr. visit (due to anxiety/fear of upcoming appointment), most recently especially.

Patients are experiencing PTSD symptoms as they await the cut off and/or tapering of their safe and effective, long term opioid pain medications. These persons are not afraid of losing the opioid pain meds. They’re afraid of living with the excruciating & horrible intractable pain on a daily basis for the resting their lives.

Please help these patients by also alleviating the fear of career loss or even jail time; for the Drs who prescribe these medications. The pain specialist goes to school for sometimes 15 years, to learn how to treat these patients. But now, legislators are taking over this “specialist” role. If you’d like to sit down with me, hear my story etc; I’d be more than happy to come. I’d love the opportunity to speak with you and anyone else who can help the chronic intractable pain patients in Michigan & the USA.

Thank you for your time. I’ve enclosed the links to a couple of stories on YouTube , the Pain News Network & the National Pain Report.

1. https://youtu.be/u4vHSLeTe-s

2. https://www.acsh.org/news/2017/10/12/opioid-epidemic-6-charts-designed-deceive-you-11935

3.https://www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2018/4/30/death-of-pain-patient-blamed-on-dea#.Wuf0unJ0GX8.twitter=

4. https://.com/2017/12/14/pain-acceptance-the-newest-lie/

Peace & Hope,

Suzanne B. Stewart

about.me/suzydukettes

U.S. Pain Fdn. Ambassador/Advocate/Board Member, Recipient of Pain Ambassador of the Year Award‘16, Mentor for CRPS patients RSDSA, Staff Columnist/Ntl. Pain Report, Blog-“Tears Of Truth” @tearsoftruth.com, Patient leader WEGO Health, HoH/ASL

DISCLAIMER: The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We do not recommend the self-management of health problems. We can not and do not give you medical advice. The information in this e mail should not be considered complete. Information obtained in this e mail is not exhaustive and does not cover all diseases, ailments, physical conditions or their treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this e mail. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. US Pain Foundation inc. does not represent to be an authority but is just helping pass information from other organizations, advocates and or websites.

On Jan 30, 2018, at 5:36 PM, Senator Debbie Stabenow <senator@stabenow.senate.gov> wrote:

Dear Suzanne,

Thank you for contacting me about the treatment and prevention of drug addiction. I share your support for strengthening programs that help individuals overcome addiction and lead healthy and productive lives.

That is why I cosponsored the Comprehensive Addiction Recovery Act (CARA), which was signed into law on July 22, 2016. CARA expands and strengthens substance abuse prevention, education, treatment, and monitoring programs around the country.

Substance abuse and addiction have devastating physical and mental consequences for millions of Americans. Drug abuse has increased dramatically nationwide, and in Michigan, the drug overdose death rate is above the national average. That is why I fought for passage of a demonstration project based on my bipartisan bill, the Excellence in Mental Health Act, which will expand access to mental health and substance abuse services in the community and ensure that more people can get the quality care that they need. I have also fought to strengthen substance abuse prevention and treatment through the efforts of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

Thank you again for contacting me. Please continue to keep me informed about issues of concern to you and your family.

Sincerely,

Debbie Stabenow

United States Senator

U.S. Senator Debbie Stabenow

The United States Senate •Washington, DC 20510

stabenow.senate.gov

Nowhere To Run



Going to the doctors office has never been one of my favorite things to do. When I was 5 years old, I filled my suitcase and “ran away” because I was afraid to get my Kindergarten vaccines. Now, I’m all grown up and looking forward to retirement; but I’m still that 5 year old deep down inside, more afraid of doctors than ever before. Why do they have so much power over us? Why do some use that power to make us feel inferior? Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can makes us feel inferior without our consent”, but I feel it and I don’t remember giving anyone permission? We are living in difficult times for anyone who has debilitating, intractable chronic pain. There also is no place to “run”, no matter how big your suitcase is or how much money you have. There’s no grandparents at the other end to scoop you up and tell you that “it’s going to be OK”. Mostly, because it’s NOT OK.
Have you ever seen an action/crime movie where an innocent person was being tortured and/or thrown in jail, for something they did not do? A person being “beat up” but totally innocent? This is what is happening to the chronic pain patients in America today. I’m going to share a short story about what happened to me the other day. We always think these things only happen to “other people”. That “it won’t happen to us”. That is wrong and untrue. We live in a civilized nation, or do we? How can they treat us like this?
Here is a summary of what happens to me every 30 days. Each time I have to visit the pain Dr.’s office, I get physically ill, worse than usual. A few days prior to my upcoming appointment, I get more frequent stomach aches. I want to stay inside more and just sit in my “Lazy Boy” chair, with my blanket and with my cat cuddled up next to me. I wonder if “this will be the visit that “it” happens to me”? As the appointment time gets closer, I get more clingy to home and all things comfortable to me. A fear deep inside of me grows worse and worse. Then the morning of the appointment comes. I get nausea, dry mouth, diarrhea and I don’t want to leave my house. I cannot leave because no matter how much I talk myself out of these feelings, they won’t go away. My blood pressure, which has normally been low to normal, is very high for me at about 150/95 to 155/100. I feel sick and afraid. But I’ve never smoked anything and I have never taken any kind of medication or “drug” that was not specifically prescribed to me by a licensed physician.
The time of the appointment grows closer and I get even more distressed. Sometimes I cry and I just verbalize to my husband that “I don’t want to go”. I wonder why is life so cruel to those who are already living with agonizing pain and illness? I’m not one to feel sorry for myself. I really trust and like my pain Dr. too, don’t get me wrong. But I know he’s not my “friend”. He has heard every excuse in the “book”. He has no reason to believe anyone and he must go by what he sees in text. All day long other people have ruined it for the “good patients” who don’t deserve this kind of questioning, contracts and treatment.
It’s time to leave the house. But I cannot leave the bathroom. I take a bucket with me because I don’t want to vomit in the car. It’s a 30 minute drive and my painful RSD/CRPS feet are shaking even though they hurt. I cannot control it. My husband chuckles, kindly telling me that I’m “shaking the entire car”. We arrive at the pain Dr.s office. There are cameras everywhere, in the parking lot and in the office. For all I know, theres one in the restroom? I know that I left a urine sample last time, so I feel pretty calm about that not going wrong. I had not heard from them, so Im just sure that there’s no “false positives” with me. That only happens to other people, right?
We sign in at the front desk. I answer the several questions that I am asked every 30 days now. For crying out loud, what changes in 30 days? It’s just too often to put people through this, aside from the cost. My name is called and my stomach is in knots. I’m sweating and sick to my stomach with my heart is pounding. I feel afraid and “guilty”. I hear the footsteps faintly coming down the hallway and then a knock at the door. I calm my inner fears and I tell myself “Suzanne you are a good person. You’ve never done anything wrong and you follow the directions exactly. This is crazy, why are you so afraid?” I’m afraid because of the horror stories of others who are also innocent. The pain Dr. enters the room and asks me the same questions each month. Every 30 days, the same dialogue. But this day I hear different mantra than usual. I feel as though I’m in a tunnel as I hear these words “Your urine test came back positive and I had to send it out to another lab. In case you wonder when you receive a $200.00 or $300.00 bill from an outside lab. I just wanted you to know.” I started to cry and then I was asked “why are you crying?” Next, I was informed that no matter how long he’s known me, if the test had ben positive, I would be kicked out of the practice with no place to turn. Innocent or not, I would have been “guiilty”. It doesn’t matter that these tests are many times false positives and false negatives. Nothing matters anymore. The truth doesn’t matter any longer. I was literally terrified just hearing those words come out of his mouth. I asked him “What could it be positive for? I did not do anything different?” He proceeded to tell me that I tested positive for PCP and Oxy-something? But I don’t take those! I don’t even know what “PCP” is? I had to ask and he did not answer. He could not understand why I was crying uncontrollably and inconsolably.
We had received a $265.00 bill from a lab just a few days prior. We were going to call because we thought it was a mistake. Now we are supposedly responsible for this very large bill. I never signed anything promising to pay for all of those tests? But what happens if I fight it? Next time there is a “false positive”,they won’t perform the tests, therefore I won’t be exonerated and I will be kicked out for no reason whatsoever? It was explained to me that no matter who I am, how exemplary of a patient I might be and no matter how long I’ve been going there with a perfect “record”. I will be treated as if it were my first visit and there are no second chances. We are perceived as “guilty, bad and lying” if the tests says it is so. Yes, there is a second test, but then you are hit with this grossly overblown bill and there’s no way to pay for it. The second test, of course, came back negative and I was exonerated. He told us that his regular office urine test has a “90 to 95% accuracy”. So that means every once in awhile there can be a glitch or a mistake. That means that every once in awhile someone gets hit with this huge bill, through no fault of their own.
I am tired of people telling me that I should not be on this medication. People who are supposed to love me or at least care about me. It feels like nobody understands the predicament we are in. I take medicine that still helps to relieve my pain even though I’ve been on it for quite awhile. I have almost no side effects and I’ve tried many many other medications and therapies first. This was a “last resort”. It helps and I don’t want to stop because it gives me some semblance of a life. I get the pleasure of being a grandmother. Without it, I would be in bed or in my chair 24/7. I’ve been there and done that. I don’t want to go back. I’m tired of being judged by people who don’t know me. I don’t get a “high”, and I never take more than prescribed. Why can’t I just continue to do what has worked for me? Why can’t we all? Why do we have to feel persecuted and judged? Why do we need to feel traumatized and terrorized every 30 days, to the point of feeling physically ill?
My story up to this point, ended on a positive note. My Dr. still had to send out the first test because he said that “it is the law”. I have never done anything remotely considered to be “bad” or “wrong” and definitely not “illegal”. I’m a good person who graduated college with honors. I raised my daughters mainly by myself for about 8 or 9 years. I worked full time and took care of everything and everyone who needed me. I try to be kind, thoughtful and I am always trying to think of new ways to help others. Nobody deserves to feel this way. Theres something definitely wrong with this and someone needs to fix it.