Above is a 37 second update from my appointment today 6-10-19. Thank you for the outpouring of love ❤️ and support! You’re the Best followers/fans/friends ever!!
**ADDENDUM: SURGERY WILL BE JULY 26, 2019** they scheduled it today…. JUST WANTED TO UPDATE YOU ALL… sending peace, hope, love & Light…
Feel free to email me: email@example.com
Heres my Instagram post today too:
So I saw the Skull base/neuro/Ear surgeon today. I will be having the tumor removed soon. I will have a Tympanoplasty(they’ll reconstruct my eardrum using a “disc” made from cartledge & Skull fascia. This is to prevent this from returning. The 3 little bones needed for hearing are diseased. I’ll be getting possibly prosthetic bones? Also I’ll be having a “Mastoidectomy”! Removal of the diseased part of the mastoid bone. It may make my HOH/ “hearing”worse or same but must do this because if it gets into the brain it can kill me! It’s really scary! Many times people hear nothing afterwards, many times people get extreme dry mouth from damage to salivary glands during surgery. Many people get worse “white noise” or pulsating in ear after surgery. Many people get a strange taste for months or forever. They try to not injure the facial nerves by doing EMG during entire surgery, but it can happen… I’m honestly not scared of the white noise or pulsating or worse/same HoH —but I’m frightened of the brain surgery part. They say they’ll be conservative with my hair being cut but still a 2 finger radius around my ear will be cut… just wanted to update everyone. It will be in 2 months because it’s very slow growing tumor and may have been there my whole life?? But it takes time to get the 4 Drs clearances that I need and also his schedule is booked until then. Now I’m happy to have my Summer but still scared because I now have too much time to be thinking about it all!
Many of my “regular” readers may remember that I am “Hard of hearing”. Hearing people usually use the term “hearing impaired”. We prefer to be called “Hard of hearing”. Mostly because we don’t feel that we are broken or “impaired”. Technically it means that Im not totally “medically possible 100% deaf”. I can hear a few various pitches, frequencies and sounds. With my hearing aids in, I can hear a little bit during a “one on one” conversation. But add in background noise and people who mumble or talk very fast; and then it’s nearly impossible. Next, add the situation of trying to “listen” to several people at once, in a crowded room or restaurant? Lastly, there are those with facial hair all around their mouth and lips. They are the group for me, who have the most frustrating lips to read! Then again, it’s not really like “reading”. Because it’s more like piecing together bits and pieces of a puzzle & then trying to “fill in the missing pieces”.
In case you’re not familiar with my hearing loss journey; I’ll recap just a little bit for you. When I was a child, I had recurring ear infections. During those times, I could often be found literally rocking my body back & forth, while curled up in the fetal position. My memories start as young as age 3 years. It was always pure hell while I was living with horrible ear infections. When I complained to my parents about the excruciating 😖 throbbing Pain in my ear (or ears), my mother would always say same thing. She’d tell me “Once your eardrum ruptures, the pressure will go away and you will feel better!” Well, it did feel better after the pressure was gone. But each time that happened it caused scar tissue to form in my ear drums. It also caused mild hearing loss as I was growing up. I remember asking the teachers if I could sit closer to the board to try and hear them better. Therefore my audiologist (in 2002) & ENT Dr. felt that I’ve had mild hearing loss since I was a child. I had tubes put in my ears when I was about 7 or 8 years old. They were surgically placed multiple times and for several years.
Later in 2002, I was a passenger in a car driven by my husband. We were just driving along through a green light when we were hit by a car running through a red light. It was considered a “catastrophic accident”. I acquired a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and had multiple injuries and 9 surgeries. I went to brain injury rehab for 3 years & had 9 years of PT/OT, balance therapy and speech therapy. I acquired a pacemaker, glasses with prisms (for lowered vision), 2 screws in my left shoulder and 2 hearing aids. I also got a wheelchair, a seated wheeled walker, a motorized scooter, loft strand crutches, a cane and several other helping aides for activities of daily living.
I won’t bore you with all of the chronic pain illnesses that came out of that accident. That’s not what this post is all about. But I also acquired a bi-lateral sensory neural hearing loss in both of my ears L>R (but currently (2019), it’s R>L & it’s a mixed hearing loss). Along with the many medical issues, I also acquired lower vision. I saw a Neuro-Othamoligist, who put prisms in my glasses to try and correct some of it. The prisms really bothered me. Today I just have a very strong prescription for eye glasses. Everything has a bit of a halo effect.
It’s ironic and very awesome that prior to that MVA (motor vehicle accident), I had been an ASL Interpreter. I worked at a Deaf preschool and then I interpreted for a school district. In the end, I was a medical Interpreter at a University hospital. I even did volunteer work doing medical interpreting for Deaf/Blind at free medical screening events. I had gone through a 4 year SLS/Interpreting program and finished with a 3.8 gpa.
Back in the 1980’s when I went to college, I practically lived at the dorms with my 16 Deaf friends. We watched CC “General Hospital” daily at 3:00 pm. We even tried to schedule our classes around it! It was a social hour. I’d been learning ASL since age 11 & even “tested out” of the first fingerspelling class.
The Deaf community accepted me and they were kind to me. At that time I went to Deaf bowling every Thursday with DAD club. I had a Deaf boyfriend whose sister was a cheerleader at MSD & we went to all of the football games and even the homecoming dance! Me and my group of college friends, who happened to be Deaf, used to go out dancing on Friday nights. One time my friends & I were on our way to a dance club and we got pulled over for a slight bit of speeding. We were all packed in the back of a mini van signing with each other. One of my friends told me to “talk to the officer”. I was terrified and I told him “No way! I’m afraid! Since I’m with you guys, I don’t want to talk to him either!” We all laughed as the officer just let us go with a handwritten warning on a piece of paper. That was a fun and I felt included.
Just to back track a little, I started learning ASL at age 11. My best friend & I babysat for a Deaf family who lived next door to her. The parents and 6 children were Deaf. The children went to the Lutheran School for Deaf at that time! They included me in many Deaf social activities and I learned the language & received my sign name from them. First we played games and I learned colors, numbers, family signs, days of week and more!
I’ve always felt accepted by the Deaf community. I always respected the language, ASL. How ironic then, that I lost a moderate-severe percentage of my hearing & was already prepared with the tools I needed!
I’ve lost touch with some of my old friends from DAD (Deaf Association of Detroit). But I still have a some close friends from the past, who are Deaf. I still feel a part of the community. I’d like to become even more involved again! But living with several high pain chronic illnesses makes it difficult to get out due to persistent pain.
I’ve found my own ways to reconnect and to feel not so “in-between” two worlds. I get to teach ASL vocabulary with the Deaf Socials on their Instagram and Facebook pages. I love & look forward to each new vocabulary list they give to me for teaching! I truly enjoy doing that and doing song covers to ASL on my Youtube channel: My YouTube channel at: ASLSuzyQ . I also post to my Instagram A link to my ASL Instagram and Twitter A link to my ASL Twitter with the same name. I do this for fun and as a volunteer and advocate for Deaf Awareness.
Lastly, I used to love being a part of two ASL performance groups during the 80’s, when I lived in Arizona & worked at a Deaf preschool. One group was called “Silent Impressions productions”. We performed in choreography and ASL to broadway show tunes and in costumes! We put in shows at ASU and it was so much fun! The other group to which I belonged, was called “Silent Praise”. We performed Christian songs while others did lyrical dances. We did that at the ASU Neumann center. It was such a fun time in my life. My friends and I also interpreted for our church community at St. Theresa’s Catholic Church in Scottsdale, AZ.
After reminiscing in this post, I feel so grateful that I had already been involved with the Deaf community & had many years of experience with ASL, before I became more (*I was mild HoH since elementary school) Hard of Hearing. As ironic as it seems, it’s not all that crazy. I had a mild hearing loss and then it worsened due to the TBI.
I mostly seem to write about chronic pain illnesses. I’ve been writing about the rights of chronic pain patients to have access to much needed opioid pain medications. We need these medications because without them, people like me wouldn’t even be able to do the small amount of activities that we try to do. I was forcibly tapered from my long acting pain meds after doing pretty well on them for almost 14 years! Now I sit in my recliner for approximately16 hours daily. I try to get up, put I make up and do some online activities every few days. But my life is not the same with so much less help for the pain.
Although I still want to continue advocating in that area, I’m doing more & more advocating for Deaf awareness, inclusion and preservation of ASL. I thought I’d put my hearing loss story and ASL history here in my blog too. I’ve written a few posts about Deafness and trying to live in “two worlds”. But I’ve never explained the details of how I became who I am today. I’m a survivor of long time childhood abuse, domestic violence and then a catastrophic car accident. I’m not a “victim” but I am a “fighter and a survivor”! Don’t ever give up!!
This is a quote from a dear friend of mine who is profoundly Deaf and he is a Professor of ASL at a University in Utah….with that being said….
This is a great blog post by someone on Tumblr, to whom I Subscribe. This is about what it’s like to live with hearing loss (*like I do and many others)..but still try to be functioning in both the Deaf/Hard of Hearing & Hearing worlds. Please feel free to visit & Subscribe to me on: Instagram, Facebook, Tiktok, Twitter & most of all YouTube At: ASLSuzyQ (the SC that I use most is: jewelrymkr)
I’ve decided to share this here with you. It took all I had, to do this song (3 1/2 minutes). I’m being quickly tapered from my LA/ER pain medication.*I had been a medical & educational Interpreter for the Deaf before my car accident in 2002. I have been through a lot as have
Many of you! This song and ASL (American Sign Language) mean so much to me. This song is called “Overcomer” by Mandisa. I think whether you know ASL or not, this song will give you chills. It does me!
I want you to really take a look at this post, please? I want you to “meet”, Tina Petrova. She is a fellow pain Warrior and a colleague of mine. She is not only a friend; but a friend/colleague in advocacy and awareness of chronic pain and people who live with chronic pain illnesses.
Honestly, Tina Petrova is an award winning film maker, a motivational speaker & chronic pain activist. This movie is about the real deal, chronic pain and everything that goes along with it! This movie has got to catch the attention of legislators and others who do not yet understand what it’s like to live with daily, unrelenting chronic pain.
“Pain Warriors- The Movie”, WILL catch the attention of anyone watching. But especially those who need to change the way they think regarding intractable pain and invisible disabilities. We need your help to donate and /or spread this crowd funding campaign. Please help to get more people involved in supporting this awesome film. The crowdfunding campaign will go through mid-September 2018.
Needs Your Help! Please Help Support This Beautiful Project!
Our story brings to light a deadly suppression of facts & figures. Chronic Pain does not discriminate against age, sex, or race; suicides in all groups due to under managed pain are on the rise. We are, all of us, only one car accident or one surgery away – from a life of chronic pain.
About The Project
PAIN WARRIORS ~ sets out to examine the invisible crisis of Chronic Pain in North America, and its devastating toll on society. Without proper and timely education of the masses this growing concern can and will reach a tipping point, beyond which there is no return.
Society’s lack of public information regarding Chronic Pain, has sadly forced this disease and its sufferers underground.
Not only are many denied adequate treatment , they are often looked upon by society as a whole as outcasts. We are , all of us, only one cancer or one car accident away from a life of chronic pain. As we age the numbers of chronic pain patients will only grow exponentially.
We intend to bring to light a deadly suppression of facts and figures. Without education and awareness, there can be no reform.
Compelling interviews showcase a broad cross section of pain patients, their loved ones and the doctors that treat them across North America. We share intimate, courageous and heart breaking 1st hand stories from pain patients in the trenches- the ongoing political and social issues they face and how they struggle to cope , just to get through another day.
In recent months, several American pain specialists have been targeted by the DEA and currently face loss of license and potential incarceration, for attempting to uphold their Hipprocratic Oath and serve the U.S. pain population. The lines between “pill mills” and legitimate doctors have become blurred and in many cases, unrecognizable to the general public and society at large.
In recent decades groups including breast cancer and aids patients have banded together formally with runs marches, rallies – telling their stories in the press.
Doing so has garnered more ambitious and imaginative solutions to treatment and health care reform. The best hope for pain patients, is to become more vocal and active in their own pain management.
The needed response to pain, it would appear, is to encourage patients to stand up and speak up.
PAIN WARRIORS plans to do just that – give voice to the voiceless. #givepainavoice #painwarriors
11 Yr. old Hunter, battles courageously with a Chronic Pain condition, using Superheroe comic book characters – to inspire him to get up and fight yet another day. Pediatric pain is one of those growing pain conditions that is under- discussed and under- represented in the media.
Our new film Pain Warriors – seeks to identify and shine a spotlight on marginalized peoples and groups that have fallen through the cracks of both appropriate and timely healthcare and , societal compassion as a whole. In the pain community, we use the term” a slow death of compassion…” to denote societies overall shunning of chronic pain as a legitimate disease that steals lives, breaks hearts and destroys the very fabric of family life. There has been a deadly suppression of facts and figures for far too long. Pain Warriors the movie ~ dives fearlessly into the muddy trenches, where chronic pain patients & pain doctors who face a hostile regulatory environment live in apprehension, fear and suffering- of what is to come next… live in fear and suffering.
So the things I’ve written lately, have been pretty “deep”; to say the least! I thought because you know that my Language is American Sign Language, and since things have been a bit “heavy”; I’d take it down a notch! I hope you enjoy this beautiful song about the crazy state of the world these days. Where the right and left are fighting and the chronic pain patients are losing life saving/giving pain medications. This song is called “Bleed the same” by Mandisa & with Toby Mac & Kirk Franklin. This is me signing in ASL to this beautiful song! I hope it lifts your spirits as it has mine!
Do you know that I suffered a TBI in a car accident in 2002? Did you know that I also had a CVA/Stroke in 2006? Because of these injuries, I have vision problems and hearing loss. I . had to wear prisms in my glasses for years and I have to use drops in my eyes daily or else I will go blind. The top layers of my eyes are a mess and this makes it difficult to see clearly at all, even with contacts and/or glasses. I also have 2 hearing aids to try and help with the hearing loss, which is moderate in my right ear and severe in my left ear (*at the time of this post). I am so lucky that I already knew and know ASL before the accident happened. I used to be an Interpreter for the Deaf at a University hospital and I worked at a school district as an Interpreter too. My hearing is getting a bit worse as the years go by and I will be getting new hearing aids in the Fall of 2018. I’m not sad because I have been a part of a rich culture, the Deaf community, since age 11. That is when I babysat for 6 Deaf children. Then I went to college, a 4 year Interpreting program. ASL has always been a treasured part of my life. But how ironic that as an adult, a car accident has made it an even more important and treasured part of my life.
I truly want to get the non-profits that help people with pain, to become more accessible to the Hard of Hearing and Deaf community. I hope that I can make a difference because there must be many more persons like me, who live with daily chronic pain and who have vision and/or hearing loss. If you are reading this and you are part of a non-profit or an organization that helps people living with chronic pain, please think about it? Let me start a program for you? Let me help do something to make these pain organizations become more accessible. Thank you so much for reading my blog and for taking the time to look at the songs that I’ve done in ASL.
So, I just finished doing one of my favorite songs of all time, in ASL *(American Sign Language). The lyrics in this song makes me think about my one and only, soul-mate; my husband Craig. He is the only person who has ever truly shown me love and respect unconditionally. I love him with my whole heart and soul. I hope you enjoy this song and the others, performed in ASL. Please, if you enjoy it, click “like” and then “Subscribe” to my Youtube channel at ASLSuzyQ- My YouTube channel for ASL
Instead of just posting one ASL song here for you, I thought I would give you a few other newer song covers that I’ve recently done in ASL. I have posted the links for “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri, “Fireworks” by Katy Perry, “Pulse” (its the song made for tribute to the Florida nightclub shooting in 2016 where many were killed and most were LGBTQ commmunity.), “Hello My Name Is” by Matthew West and “Where Is The Love?” By the Blackeyed Peas. Thank you for watching…