Gaslighting: How A Flicker Of Self-Doubt Warps Our Response To Sexual Harassment and pain 


I was so touched by this email that I received from my friend and colleague, Dr. Mark Ibsen, M.D.. I wanted to re-post this here in my blog, because I thought you would enjoy reading it.

**This is a guest blog post written by Dr Mark Ibsen MD***(He’s referring to this article: https://www.npr.org/2017/11/25/565729334/gaslighting-how-a-flicker-of-self-doubt-warps-our-response-to-sexual-harassment)

********

When I read this,

I could see how pain patients are often gaslighted

Out of their story, their reality

By the domination structure.

Not always male ( think Jayne Ballentyne)

But

Very similar to the harms associated with

Sexual harassment/abuse that is so currently in our national focus.

Whether male or female

Pain makes us doubt our own reality.

This is what makes it such a terrorist.

IMHO

Can we piggy back into the abuse conversation?

Can we make the case that those with arachnoiditis, for example

Were harmed by needle jockeys

Then

Dealt with dismissively ( no one will believe you)

Then

Cowed into submission by being threatened with loss of their medication?

Or

Cancer patients who survive,

Yet can’t get pain relief for their neuropathy,

And get the message:they should  be grateful to be alive…

Or

Wounded warriors who return from Iraq or Afghanistan with

Severe injuries and ptsd

Who must reinvent their entire persona?

Maybe there’s something useful in being with this issue in a new way…

https://www.npr.org/2017/11/25/565729334/gaslighting-how-a-flicker-of-self-doubt-warps-our-response-to-sexual-harassment

Or any kind of harassment.

I’ve been gaslighting myself for years in response to the attack on my practice by

The Montana BOME,

Along with the ptsd from hearings where my

Personality was attacked

My integrity impugned

And

My mental health repeatedly called into question.

Of course the financial disaster of

Loss of my business

Medical costs

Legal wrangling

Has been great,

But the greatest impact has been on my confidence

Faith

Optimism

And

Open hearted empathy.

Yet,

Overcoming these self doubts,

While a daily regimen

Has taught me to be more authentic

Has shown me that being Raw upgrades my intuition and healing skill set,

Making a wider range of emotional states available to me, as well as the opportunity to transform these states.

So- yes Pain IS an F/N terrorist.

And

While I have yet to develop gratitude for

Mike Fanning and the Board

Sarah Damm

Dea agents Addis and Tuss

Pharmacists who refuse to follow the CSA and refuse to fill my Rx

And

Others who ripped me off when I was reeling,

I also

Have learned the validity of Winston Churchill’s statement from WWI:

” nothing so enlivens the soul as to be shot at without result”

It took me 4 days of the Thanksgiving holiday to get to this place. Thanks to friends

Community

Therapy

And

Alanon

And Candy

Be well

Mark Ibsen MD

Helena Mt.

Forest Is One Tree That Will Not Fall Without Being Heard!


Hello Luvs,

I just wanted to get something up today that would let many more people know & learn about Dr. Forest Tennant. I want everyone to know what is happening to this good man; this awesome wonderful doctor and friend of mine. I’m working on my own blog post but I wanted this up so that you could learn quickly and start helping. I want you to learn about Dr. Tennant and what he does for people. He helps the sickest of the sick. He helps people that other doctors don’t want to be bothered with; they just want to throw them away! Dr. Tennant is a good man and he doesn’t deserve what is happening to him. What’s happening now, is like what we think might happen in some Third World country!! Our country is changing for the worse! This isn’t the USA I ever remember and loved! What’s happening is fear mongering, craziness, bullying, and who knows what else?

Dr. Jeffrey Fudin, is a very close friend of Dr. Forest Tennant. I asked him if I could re-post this story from his blog today. He gave me permission to do so. I need to make sure you know that I did not write this piece. It is totally all Dr. Fudin’s writing & work here today except for this introduction. Please visit his blog @Paindr.com :

**(Copied with permission from Dr Jeffry Fudin, B.S., Pharm.D., FCCP, FASHP)

Diplomate, American Academy of Pain Management

#DropTheTennantCase

Forest is one tree that will not fall without being heard:

I was shocked to learn of the Gestapo tactics the DEA organized in the attack against Dr. Forest Tennant.  What kind of world do we live in? I am not at all surprised however to see the outrage amongst my peers to rise up in support of Dr. Tennant’s well-mannered and careful dedication to his patients. When asked an open-ended question by a prominent professional group regarding this mockery, my first response was, “Perhaps the DEA did the world a favor – this time they screwed with the wrong person and their bungling actions will reverberate pervasively.” I suspect almost every leading pain clinician scholar will line up to offer expert witness services in support of Dr. Tennant should the DEA contemptuous actions against Dr. Tennant ever make it to court.

If anybody Tweets, posts, or shares any comment on social media, please include this hashtag, #DropTheTennantCase.

In the last few hours we already see two posts, The DEA Raids the Offices of My Friend and Colleague, Dr. Tennant and DEA Raids Dr. Forest Tennant’s Pain Clinic. Keep them coming and be sure to add #DropTheTennantCase.

Dr. Morty Fein was kind enough to provide some backdrop and clever insight to the alternative news associated with the DEA raid on Dr. Tennant and the patients the patients and community that will be harmed as a result.

Here’s what he had to say in his piece entitled,

The Fifth Vital ….Sigh

When there is regime change there is often a purge of anything and everything associated with the prior (often disgraced) movement and its rulers. History gets rewritten and we move on to a new and improved world. In pain politics, the opiophiles have been replaced by the opiophobes in power and every remnant of prior rule, every concept and tenet ends up getting dragged through the mud and discarded. Sigh.

Witness what has happened to the notion of pseudoaddiction. It has been ridiculed without a critical look at its continued importance. Because an executive from a company accused (often correctly but just as often overzealously) of overzealous marketing of opioids wrote an “n of 1 paper” based on a sincere and accurate appraisal of a troubling observation during his early years of pain practice – many years before he left practice and became an executive – the notion has been tied to overpromotion of opioids in the media and by opiophobes. Never mind the fact that the notion is even more important now since the stingy approach to opioid availability is daily leading to even worse pain control for millions and in turn causing desperation. And desperation can lead to people acting in ways that are uncharacteristic of them and their behavior construed as a sign of addiction. Happens every day. Often. Several authors, including the original authors, have over the years written about the need to re-evaluate the concept; not the validity of the observation but in what clinicians need to do to safely respond to it. The answer is not the knee jerk raising of opioid doses that became a bit of a caricature during the early days of the opiophile revolution, but a reappraisal of the totality of the patient’s pain regimen and approach and a sincere respect for the fact that a person taking liberties with their opioids or augmenting with anything including street drugs can indeed trigger a behavioral loss of control that needs to be addressed and not solely relying on improved analgesia to stop the behavior. Loss of control and uncontrolled pain are not mutually exclusive. Regardless of what drives the drug taking behavior and loss of control, abuse and even overdose can result. Perhaps this is why lowering MSEs nationally is not decreasing the number of opioid overdoses and in fact they are increasing them. The notion is self-effacing for us HCPs – that it is our failure to control pain that can drive the desperation and we have the responsibility to help fix it and the behavioral syndrome accompanying it – if anyone has the time and reimbursement anymore in our healthcare system for this much soul-searching and critical thought. Sigh.

And of course, the pain as the 5th vital sign movement has also been ridiculed as a simple ploy by pharma to lead to more pain assessment solely because it would lead to the more opioid prescribing not to simply bring pain and suffering out of the shadows and raise awareness. Outrageous and laughable contend the opiophobes. That people suffer in silence, that they are afraid to tell their health care providers, that unless they are asked they will often assume that discussion of their pain is not the purview of the providers with whom they are interacting is a trite every day observation doesn’t prevent throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Pain as a 5th vital sign is a movement about communication not treatment. Let us not go back to the bad old days of don’t ask don’t tell about pain and suffering. Want to change the name of it? Fine. But we shouldn’t stop efforts to ask about our patients’ experiences of suffering. We should avoid knee jerk reactions driving what we are going to do about it. Simply because someone reports their pain as “8 out of 10” doesn’t mean we should knee jerk raise their opioid dose nor should we knee jerk increase the frequency of their meditation sessions. It requires time and thought and a self-effacing attitude that we can do better for the person and a commitment to do better for the person. If anyone has the time and reimbursement anymore in our healthcare system for this much soul-searching and critical thought. Sigh.

And while we are on the subject of regime change, some of the most expert, most ethical and most erudite former leaders in the opioid movement are being dragged through the mud and the legal system on virtually a daily basis nationwide, tormented by district attorneys and ambulance chasers who would beg any one of them to care for them or their family members if they were stricken with severe and unrelenting chronic pain. Virtually everything they ever wrote, said or did being misportayed and  misrepresented as they get held responsible for consequences of treatments that occurred in jurisdictions they never set foot in. As if writing or talking or doing everything they could for opioid safety was just a ploy for pharma to push more drugs. No, it was a move to try to help others if they were going to do opioid therapy to adopt a seriousness and responsibility and acquire expertise like their own. They may have overestimated the integrity of their peers that went on to run pill mills but they never advocated for pill mills. They may have underestimated the size of the gap between their own expertise and that of their brethren that would try to emulate them. But they never advocated for carelessness or lack of responsibility. They wanted us all to take a self-effacing (i.e. that we all need to learn more about pain) and responsible and thoughtful approach. As if anyone has the time and reimbursement anymore in our healthcare system for this much soul-searching and critical thought. Sigh.

This brings me to the raiding of the home and practice of the beloved and venerated Dr. Forest Tennant. His Thanksgiving gift was a storm trooper’s boot in his door – by a cop who has a better sense of what the doctor’s patients need than the doctor (with 50 years plus of experience) does. And who I am certain would beg Dr. Tennant to care for him and his family if they were stricken with unrelenting chronic pain.  Dr. Tennant called them and their scare tactics out in an interview right after the events and he intends to fight. Be Brave! Don’t run Forest, don’t run!

Free the Opioid 5 I say.

It is time to stand and fight. Regime change and the re-writing of history must stop now. Our support for these 5 is vital. Sigh.

This is taken with permission, from the Blog of Dr. Jeffry Fudin @paindr.com and here’s the link: http://paindr.com/forest-is-one-tree-that-will-not-fall-without-being-heard/

Here’s some information about Dr Fudin. This information was taken directly from his own website/Blog , also at paindr.com…. I didn’t want to get anything wrong and so this too, is directly copied from his Blog. All rights are reserved by him and everything here today is all his work and his writing and not mine! Please read about Dr Fudin:

Jeffrey Fudin, B.S., Pharm.D., FCCP, FASHP

Diplomate, American Academy of Pain Management

Founder & Chair, PROMPT (Professionals for Rational Opioid Monitoring & Pharmacotherapy)

Owner & Managing Editor, PainDr.com

Director, Scientific and Clinical Affairs, REMITIGATE, LLC in Delmar NY

Director PGY2 Pain Residency Stratton VA Medical Center in Albany NY

Adjunct Associate Professor, Western New England University College of Pharmacy

Adjunct Assistant Professor of Pharmacy Practice, University of Connecticut School of Pharmacy

Section Editor, Pain Medicine

Dr. Fudin graduated from Albany College of Pharmacy & Health Sciences with his Bachelors Degree and Pharm.D. He completed an Oncology/Hematology fellowship at SUNY/Upstate Medical Center.  He is a Diplomate to the American Academy of Pain Management and a Fellow of both the American College of Clinical Pharmacy and the American Society of Health-system Pharmacists.

Dr. Fudin is a Section Editor for Pain Medicine, Founder/Chairman of Professionals for Rational Opioid Monitoring & Pharmacotherapy, and peer reviewer for several professional journals.   He has participated in developing practice guidelines for use of opioids in chronic noncancer pain (APS, AAPM collaborative) and participated in national and international guideline development for arthritis, fibromyalgia, and palliative Care. He has also participated in the development and co-author guidelines for the treatment of opioid-induced constipation. He is consultant to a national panel to develop consensus guidelines for the proper use of urine testing in addiction medicine, a collaborative effort with the National Association of Addiction Treatment Providers (NAATP), Center for Lawful Access and Abuse Deterrence (CLAAD), and the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM). And he is a panel member for new urine test guidelines under development by the American Academy of Pain Medicine.

Dr. Fudin is President and Director for Scientific and Clinical Affairs for REMITIGATE, LLC, a software development company specializing in opioid safety. He practices as a Clinical Pharmacy Specialist and Director, PGY-2 Pharmacy Pain Residency Programs at the Stratton Veterans Administration Medical Center in Albany NY.  He holds adjunct faculty positions at University of Connecticut School of Pharmacy, Western New England University College of Pharmacy in Springfield MA, and Albany College of Pharmacy & Health Sciences.  Dr. Fudin has been an invited speaker on pain management nationally and internationally.

Dr. Fudin is founder and Chair of Professionals for Rational Opioid Monitoring and Pharmacotherapy (PROMPT), owner and managing editor for paindr.com and founder of Remitigate LLC, a software development company that has launched an application to help clinicians interpret urine drugs screens with several pipeline products including a pharmacogenetic applications and other opioid safety software initiatives.  He is a prolific lecturer, writer, and researcher on pain management topics and he served as a Task Force member for the Board of Pharmacy Specialties (BPS) for role delineation study/practice analysis of pain and palliative care pharmacy. He was awarded the American Academy of Pain Medicine’s Presidential Commendation in 2014, in recognition as “a voice for scientific integrity and an advocate for people in pain.”

Run Forest, Run!


This was written by Dr Mark Ibsen, MD, who has become a close friend of mine; as has Dr Tennant. My thoughts and blog post on this subject will be forthcoming ASAP! But for now, just for this moment, here are Dr Ibsen, MD’s words regarding this abhorrent situation with Dr Forrest Tennant:

Dr Tennant recently came to Montana to testify for Dr Christensen. Sadly, while in the home state of many of his intractable pain refugee patients,

His home was invaded and business ransacked by agents who allege he was “overprescribing”. 

Just what IS overprescribing?

And what would Underprescribing look like?

This term would imply that there is a ceiling dose of a medication that has been prescribed. 

It would also imply that there is a “Goldilocks Dose” that is not too high

Not too low, but “just right”. 

Dr Tennant,

An endocrinologist,

Has been on the forefront of research and therapy for the intractable pain that patients developed after years of medical or interventional management, or mismanagement. 

These are patients with adhesive arachnoiditis, complex regional pain syndrome, trigeminal neuralgia, failed back syndrome, traumatic brain injury, and various other accidental and iatrogenic pain syndromes. 

The law enforcement and regulatory agencies Who are threatened by the Obi-Wan Kenobi of pain medicine do not have the sophistication,

compassion,

Or training to realize that they are not dealing with El Chapo. Drug dealers don’t actually care how their clients are doing. In fact, when a drug addict dies of an overdose, sales most often go up. Dealing drugs that are unregulated and often fatal is not what doctors do. 

Most people who suffer cardiac arrest have some type of medication on board. We don’t arrest their doctor for prescribing a Statin or aspirin or blood pressure medication in an attempt to enhance or prolong a persons life. 

People have hypoglycemic reactions every day,treated for their diabetes. We do not arrest their doctor for “overprescribing insulin”.

All doctors are required by their oath to do no harm-to try to hit that “Goldilocks dose”

When cancer patients die,

Do we blame there oncologist for killing them?

There’s a reason medical doctors train for 12 to 20 years, then continue to study and research the literature their entire careers. Could it really be true that Dr. Tennant is sidelined by a DEA agent with 12 weeks of training?

Are doctors no longer protected by the regulations outlined in the Controlled Substances Act?

Dr. Tennant treats the sickest of intractable pain patients. I too have referred intractable pain patients to him, I have taken his courses and follow his protocols.

Now, who will testify for me and protect my patients?

According to the World Health Organization North America provides the best pain care management on the planet. Dr. Tennant has always recommended following the world health organization pain ladder. 

Doctors like forest Tennant, William Hurwitz MD, Ronald Myers, and Chris Christiansen are simply guilty of trying to relieve the suffering of their intractable pain patients. 

This often requires us to

“Increase the dose”

If we as a culture continue to punish pain patients and the doctors that serve them no one will be safe accessing the incredible medical system we have developed in the US. 

Yes, complications occur. 

Yes, people are dying. 

From heroin/ fentanyl injection ODs,

Not

From responsible informed and well researched treatment of those in intractable pain who have failed every other therapy available.

“Run, Forest, run!”

Conspiracies Against Wellness Radio Broadcast


Hello Luvs,

I was recently a guest on a radio show, “Conspiracies Against Wellness “. I was interviewed by Jonelle Elgaway and I spoke about the Opioid crisis. Please listen and answer my “call to action” plea at the end.

Please feel free to share this. I encourage you to share it so as many people as possible will learn about all that the chronic pain community is going through.

Here’s the link:

Thank you!

https://youtu.be/N8cBhUStCnA

Introduction To: Inside Incurable Lives


We see so much in print these days about the “addicted”, the “overdoses”, the “bad guys” that are posting incorrect information all over the internet and about the opioid crisis.  Of course it seems as though only those of us living with daily chronic pain, truly understand that the “crisis” is indeed one of the pain patients “falling through the cracks”. Being-untreated or under treated and then committing suicide or having to spend the rest of their lives in agony.  This is the true “Opioid Crisis”.  But then I saw a short clip of a very well spoken, kind young woman named Victoria Suan.  She was asking for volunteers to help with an upcoming video compilation called “Inside Incurable Lives”, that she was doing for Social media.  She was going to follow a few stories of persons living with daily chronic pain and show how it affects their lives. I responded to her request and sent in some video clips; as did several other chronic pain patients. The first Social media video compilation called “Inside Incurable Lives, Episode 1”,  came out in September 2017.  In the second video compilation, Victoria was asking if chronic pain patients would be able to tell her “What one pain medication, would they not be able to live without?” Secondly, “If your Dr. Could no longer provide this, what would you do?”  The second video compilation project, “Inside Incurable Lives Episode 2”, focused on the voices of pain patients and their views regarding access or lack of access to opioid pain medications as well as medical marijuana. Episode  2  finished and posted in October. I was happy to be able to participate in both of these projects. I’m trying to help with this crisis in any way that I can. Later, I will be providing the links to these 2 video compilations for Social media. But first, I want you to introduce you to Victoria Suan, and her feature Documentary “Becoming Incurable”.

Victoria lives in California and since High school, she was interested in becoming a filmmaker. She graduated from Sacramento State with a Communications degree. She started creating short documentaries during college and then afterwards she decided that she wanted to make a feature documentary. She started researching blogs and video’s on YouTube. From there she discovered the chronic illness community. Victoria found through her research, what she describes as “a wonderful support network of people who are giving one another validation as they deal with the frustrations of chronic pain.”  She told me that she was thrilled by what she saw, and inspired. She decided to create a feature documentary about “chronic illness through intimate stories of real people living with chronic pain”. Starting out with her cousin who lives with Dystonia and a friend with another incurable condition, she then found her third featured person for the documentary. She describes the 8 or 9 months of filming as a “wonderful journey”.

The two video compilations on social media, that I participated in, were an extension of her feature documentary. Victoria then made a Facebook page and it became a platform for the chronic illness and pain communities.  She has become a “voice” for those of us who live with pain & chronic illnesses and she is showing our side of this painful journey.   She also wants to do whatever she can so people learn about her feature documentary. 

Before we get to the two video compilations in which the chronic pain communitiy on Facebook participated; I’d like to share some of Victoria Suan’s views about the opioid crisis.  I feel that it is very important to listen to the views of others who are neither patient, politician nor physician. Now that she has become close to several of us from the shorter video’s; I asked what her thoughts and feelings are, regarding what is happening to the chronic pain community? Her response was very heartfelt and thoughtful. Victoria told me that regarding the opioid crisis, she “really feels for the families and individuals that are dealing with addiction. Sadly, there aren’t enough ways to treat addiction without affecting the millions of chronic pain patients in our society.”  She told me that she’d read that Governor Chris Christie blames hospitals and physicians for starting this opioid epidemic. She wondered “how would a person dealing with chronic pain feel about this? How ignored and betrayed they must feel.  Is it wrong to eliminate a torturous level of pain by taking medication as prescribed by Dr.s?”  My own feelings are that politicians seem to not really care as long as it doesn’t touch them or their own families.  Victoria agrees that they just don’t want to listen to this. She feels that as chronic pain patients, we should not have to fight so hard just to be heard, really listened to.  But we are trying to fight because our very lives depend on it.

Victoria feels that it is “sad that one governors personal opinion can do more to influence legislation than the voices of millions of chronic pain patients.” She is happy that there are News outlets such as this and others, along with non profit organizations, such as the U.S. Pain Foundation; that are educating the public about chronic pain.  Victoria thinks that the film industry; especially a film called “Unrest” that is touring worldwide; and her documentary, “Becoming Incurable”, show that efforts are being made to educate and inform the general public about chronic pain.

Lastly, I wondered what she has learned from doing the 2 video compilations and the documentary film. She mentioned that she hadn’t realized before doing this, how difficult it is for people living with chronic pain to “do normal tasks, such as getting out of bed and/or going to the grocery store”.  I think that it taught her and hopefully will teach others about “Invisible Illnesses”.  She says that actually seeing these people in their pain, made her “truly acknowledge what life is like with chronic pain and illness”.  She feels that these projects taught her that each person has their own unique story to tell. She has figured out through these projects, that we are united in our pain yet each of our situations vary widely. I want to share with you in Victoria’s words, what she wants people to learn from watching “Becoming Incurable”. She hopes that people “will see these video compilations showcasing pain patients and stand with organizations that are fighting for the chronic illness community.  If our government continues on this path of neglect, I’m certain that chronic pain patients will be forced to fight a human rights issue.  I think this has already begun, as we are learning the numbers of chronic illness patients committing suicide.  It is important that we speak and act now in order to invalidate a campaign that deems anyone taking opioid medication as a suspect of the addiction problem.

Here are the links to the 2 video compilations of “Inside Incurable Lives” by film producer, Victoria Suan:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjrJnriz6y8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CuFEgnz8yA

We Are Not A “One Size Fits All” Society


IMG_2364

I’ve had a few interviews recently, with people who want to know about “my story” mostly. But I’m finding out more and more that so many in mainstreamed society do not understand chronic illnesses or pain whatsoever.  There are 100 million people living in the USA, who live with daily chronic pain. We truly need to “talk about” this.  I’ve even been speaking with legislators to try and get some of these House Bills to NOT be permanent law. The people who are sitting on these committees do not understand anything about chronic pain, yet these are the persons making the medical decisions for us instead of our physicians. Most or many chronic pain patients visit their pain management physicians, now monthly. The pain doctors are the ones who went to school for many many years to learn about how to treat people who live with real pain on a daily basis. Why are these Bills being turned into laws without the consent of a pain Dr.? Why were there no pain management physicians sitting in on the meetings when the CDC guidelines were being discussed?

The CDC guidelines that were put into place in 2016, were done behind “closed doors” and in “secret”; without any pain management physicians there to guide them at all. No, there was only PROP (physicians for responsible opioid prescribing), including their guy, Andrew Kolodny; who is a Psychiatrist.  He is an addiction specialist, not a Physician trained in the treatment of chronic pain. Why would the CDC set guidelines like these and allow them to be done like this in secret, by a person who is not even trained in the management of pain? Next, these guidelines are supposed to be just that, “guidelines”.  Somehow they have become the “law” without actually going through the right chain of events to become a “law”.  Physicians, pharmacies and others are now adhering to these “guidelines” that were meant for general physicians, not even for Pain physicians.  But some pain management Dr.’s have seen their colleagues have their livliehoods taken away by the DEA now, and they are fearful.  They fear losing their practice and everything that they went to school all of those years  to do.

These CDC guidelines are not the law but Dr.’s are being “bullied” into making them the law in their own practices.  They have famlies and a life outside of pain management. They don’t want to lose everything and I undertand that.  But someone has to stand up for what is good, lawful and right!  We need to remind our physicians that these are just guidelines and not anything that legally must be done right now.  The guidelines, after all, were also supposed to be about stopping the overprescribing of opioids right after an injury or a surgery.  They weren’t meant to take the very lives away from the chronic pain patients; yet that is what’s happening.  People are dying and suicides are rising even though in the last several years, the prescribing for opioids has actually gone down.  Did you know that legacy chronic pain patients, those who were already on an opioid pain medication plan that was working for them, before the  2016 guidelines came into effect; are supposed to be exempt from them? But that’s not what is happening in many cities and states.

Today, in 2017, in our United States of America; people are being tortured. Yes, it is true.  Our service men, the Vets who came back from combat, after fighting for their country, return home to live with terrible and painful wounds.  They were the first to be denied pain medications and now everyone else is following. How can a country let those who lost a limb or more, fighting for them; just live with pain and not try to ease that pain?  If you read the CDC guidelines in the link that I’ve provided above (in the second paragraph), you will be able to read that the guidelines spell out these words “reduce opioids UNLESS THERE IS HARM BY DOING SO”.  So many in our country are now being harmed by these guidelines that are being abused and played out as “law”. Do you know that the elderly in nursing homes are now being denied opioids and left to live out their days in agony and chronic pain at various advanced ages? This is called “torture” and “abuse” and it’s just wrong! Just as it is wrong to make everyone be at the same dosage of opioid pain medication.  We are not  “one size fits all” human beings. Just as 90MME or less, will not work the same for everyone. We all metabolizes differently.  Some physicians & legislators are listening again, to the non-pain management Dr.’s, who think that 90 MME is the highest amount that every single person should be allowed to take, no matter the circumstances.  This is truly torture for patients who are in need of more than that amount.  There are patients who must take more than that in order to have some semblance of a life outside of their bed. They are not groggy or high.  They are just trying to get by and live their lives the best way that they possible. To the surprise of the journalists and legislators that I’ve spoken with, the chronic pain community that I know and love, doesn’t want more opioids for pain relief.  They want only what is needed to get by;  to live some kind of life with lessened pain.  I was asked “If I could have more opioid pain medication, would I want more?” I responded vehemently, “Absolutely not!” If I did not need to take the medications that give me some pain relief, then I would not take them.  I don’t want more and more pain medications.  I only want the amount that is necessary for me to have some kind of life outside of my bed.

Of course, I understand that opioids normally are not the very first course of action for a chronic pain patient.  We have to go through the rigorous pain clinic “steps”.  There are the trigger point injections, different kinds of Nerve blocks, biofeedback and occasional trip to see their pain Psychologist. Once found to “not have an addictive personality” they will try different medications.  There are persons who have tried many non-opioid pain medications and either they got deathly ill from them, were allergic or they didn’t work. The next step is usually invasive and expensive surgery to either get an intrathecal pain pump or a spinal cord stimulator. People have varying views regarding these surgeries and the outcomes. I don’t think anyone should be forced to have an invasive surgery.  One in which a catheter or electrodes are stuck into the patients spine.  The patient is then given a remote control device that controls the amount of stimulation they receive for pain relief (if it works). Otherwise the pain patient has pain medication filled into a “hockey puck” -like device (pump) placed inside of the abdomen area.  They visit their pain Dr. monthly to get this pump filled. The intrathecal pain pump, I was told, is equal to about 1/300 of the amount of oral pain medication. It is dripped slowly into the spinal cord to help with pain. Dangerous granulomas can form and there may be other complications. I must also mention that afterwards, you are then “married” to that specific pain Dr. for the rest of eternity (for the most part).  I also must add that most everyone who has these invasive surgeries, still need oral opioid pain medication for “breakthrough pain”.

There are persons who aren’t candidates for one reason or another and they are not able to get a Spinal cord Stimulator or an Intrathecal Pain Pump.  After trying many non-opioid medications and not being a candidate for either of these surgeries; there are not a lot of other options.  But I want the decision to be between my Pain Dr. and me, alone.  I don’t want the government in my patient room, uneducated in pain management but trying to make all of the decisions.  I honestly believe that me and my pain management physician, who went to school for approximately 13 years, or more, to specialize in taking care of people who live with pain; should be the ones to decide whats best for me. In my opinion, no one should ever be forced to have invasive surgeries; if there is a pill available that has little or no side effects, when taken responsibly.  All medications should be taken responsibly because a person can overdose on insulin, heart medication or anti-depressants. It’s not just opioids that are harmful if too much is taken. Lastly, I was asked if I am “pro-opioids”.  My answer is “No, I am pro-patients”.

 

A Body Of Hope



Hello Luvs,

I was reading my news feed today, feeling very much alone in my pain. I have a wonderful husband who does so much and he’s my soul-mate. I have two lovely daughters and 3 granddaughters, ages 1,3 & almost 5!

We had the 2 older ones sleep over last night. So far we have only had the eldest spend the night. That was easy and awesome. I love them all the same! They are my little blessings. But now I’m in so much pain, that I read the following post with tears in my Eyes. I feel like I’m swimming against the current bcz I try so hard to be upbeat and as “good as I can be”! Today’s been really tough and I’m hard on myself ! This writing is beautiful and the writer is not only a long time friend & Facebook friend; but she’s a talented writer. I have reposted her writing here, to share with you her beautiful words. She has a blog called “A Body Of Hope”. I hope you’ll check it out! Without further hesitation, here’s Mary Mattio’s beautiful words:

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~If you’re having a bad day…this is for you
You have every right to feel overwhelmed, as though no one understands, maybe you feel afraid, or even hopeless. As far as I know, everyone living with long term illness understands these feelings. I know I do.

Illness, pain, long-suffering literally deprives the brain of the chemicals and hormones needed to feel happiness and at peace. It’s not pain or illness alone that causes depression, but the high levels of stress, constantly, over a long period of time that can inhibit the production of important nerve cells. The “optimistic” neurotransmitters like, serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine are no longer in balance to counter the feelings of uselnessness, loneliness, and hopelessness. What might be a passing thought, thanks to the rigors of chronic illness, becomes a spiraling pit of despair. Pain gets into your very soul, and exhausts every resource. 

This month is my 13 year anniversary with chronic pain (RSD/CRPS). When I became very ill 6 yrs ago, after several more illnesses struck suddenly, I felt as though I completely disappeared. Illness and pain swallowed me up.

If anyone is reading this and is being swallowed up, then you know it’s the loneliest feeling in the world to watch everyone go on and live happy lives while you fight for your own life in the shadows. Being drowned by an invisible adversary can seem like a practical joke. Everyone is in disbelief it could be “that bad.” But truly, aren’t we all in disbelief that it’s this bad?

I want to tell you what your brain would tell you if she were allowed to work at her full potential. I want to share what your soul is crying out for that pain has blocked. 

You have a purpose, you always have. Your purpose did not end when you were diagnosed. A calling is not just a job, purpose goes beyond the walls of a building. You are meant to be. 

You are enough. You are just as worthy and amazing as you always have been. Even though you might feel weak, you are gaining strength of character, wisdom, and you are learning things from this battle that no one can ever take from you. Please don’t accept the lie that you’re a failure, you are not. You are in the midst of the fight of your life. We can’t allow ourselves to believe we are losing. If your daughter, son, or grandparent were suffering from the very same condition as you, what would you want to tell them? 

You can do this. Though you may be exhausted and even fragile right now, you aren’t even sure how you’ll go on another day. The pain is pushing you over the edge of what you can bare…but somehow you have risen to meet every single day before this. Remember every treatment, surgery, and frustrating doctor appointment. Never forget how many miles you have walked already. You have overcome so many impossible days. Just get through this day. Tomorrow is not for today. 

You are beautiful. Sometimes we lose touch with our bodies, to separate and protect ourselves. Weight gain or weight loss, hair loss or teeth changes, swelling or skin changes…. we can look in the mirror and see a complete stranger staring back. You may not look or feel as you once did, but you can still get to know this amazing, lovely, and beautiful person. You are worthy of love. (PS. it’s ok to take selfies even if you don’t look like your old pictures!) People love you for all of you. You don’t have to appear perfect, no one is.

You are still the same person. Illness has a tricky way of detaching us from the longing of our past, splitting us apart from the face in the mirror, and isolating us from our loved ones. Who we were can float away, and illness begins to take us over. You are still her! You are still on your journey. Your path, your life, your experience is no less meaningful than anyone else’s. 

One last thing that I think your brain would want to remind you… Things won’t be this way forever. Chronic conditions change over time. Life changes. Our perspectives change. Yes, any day your condition could progress and worsen. Or any day, you could begin to improve or go into remission. The truth is that we hear about progression and complications 10x more (TEN TIMES MORE) than we hear about people regaining health and wellness. There is no doctor or article online that can assure you of what tomorrow will hold. As much as your body and mind yell words like “incurable, degenerative, progressive, comorbidities,” instead let HOPE be your weapon of choice. 

As illness continues to speak its lies to us, we must scream back truth to ourselves so loudly that every part of us can hear!

-Mary Mattio

@abodyofhope
“The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they may both lead to the same destination.”

-Marion Zimmer Bradley